Deranged MAGA by Clay Jones
Republicans want to classify their opponents as insane Read on Substack
Let’s make one thing clear. Trump Derangement Syndrome, or TDS if you prefer, is not a thing. It’s not like it’s ever been featured in the New England Journal of Medicine or been studied at the Mayo Clinic. It’s about as legitimate a medical condition as rock-and-roll pneumonia, a bad case of loving you, or being cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Sure, Cocoa Puffs is delicious, but it doesn’t make people cuckoo any more than Trix is exclusively for kids and not weird, stalkery creeper rabbits. I always felt like the cereal was just a cover for what that rabbit was really going after.
That rabbit probably wanted what Justin Eichorn wanted, but we’ll get to that in a minute.
Five Republican men in the Minnesota state senate have introduced a bill that would include TDS in the statutory definition of mental illness. The bill defines the syndrome as characterised by “verbal expressions of intense hostility toward” Donald Trump and “overt acts of aggression and violence against anyone supporting [Trump] or anything that symbolises [Trump].”
According to Republicans, if hate that Trump sucks up to Putin, then you’re deranged.
If you think it’s weird that Trump wants to “date” his daughter, then you’re deranged.
If you don’t like that Trump is a grifter, you’re deranged.
If you hate that selling products while in office, you’re deranged.
If you hate tariffs, you’re deranged.
I think Trump shouldn’t be attacking our allies, you’re deranged.
If you don’t think the president of the United States should be Elon’s personal sock puppet, then you’re deranged.
If you think the president shouldn’t be a felon, you’re deranged.
If you believe the president of the United States should know more words than a
Beagle, you are deranged. In a Beagle’s defense, after you start spelling words so the Beagle won’t know what you’re saying, the Beagle learns how to spell.
It’s easier to dismiss your political opponents’ arguments as crazy or irrational than to counter with an argument of your own. You would think the deranged person is the one who supports deranged positions he can’t defend.
Deranged is living through the worst administration in US history, then voting for it again.
Recently, Kentucky Congressman James Comer issued a statement comparing town halls to “therapy sessions for left-wing activists suffering from Trump Derangement Syndrome.” If someone asks you to justify Elon’s unconstitutional assault on the government and what right he has to work as an unelected fourth branch of government, it’s easier to dismiss that person as crazy than to answer the question. TDS is a very handy argument for Republican chickenshits.
Harriet Hageman, Wyoming’s lone representative in Congress, dismissed town halls as “hysteria,” and her reason for not holding any. Derangement is kicking out Liz Cheney because she investigated an attack against our nation and replacing her with a representative who’s going to accuse you of “hysteria.”
It’s a common Republican tactic to dismiss your opponents instead of countering facts. Instead of taking accountability for leaking classified information to a journalist, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth said Jeffrey Goldberg is a “deceitful and highly discredited, so-called journalist who’s made a profession of peddling hoaxes time and time again.” Even if any of that were true, it still doesn’t answer the question or explain why he was added to your chat.
If Jeffrey Goldberg was truly deceitful, highly discredited, and has made a profession of peddling hoaxes, then why did you have him in your group chat discussing classified information? Doesn’t that make it worse? And your answer to that question would probably be, “That cartoonist has Trump Derangement Syndrome.” Pete Hegseth isn’t even smart enough to deflect, less alone to possess classified information.
The chances of this TDS bill passing into Minnesota law are slim and none, but what makes these five Republican state senators qualified to diagnose a mental illness or identify a fake condition as one? Are they doctors? I’m glad you asked.
The sponsors of the bill are Glenn Gruenhagen, Nathan Wesenberg, Steve Drazkowski, Eric Lucero, and Justin Eichorn. These men must be doctors, right? I looked into it.
Gruenhagen’s career is in finance, NOT medicine. Wesenberg is a wildlife biologist. Maybe he can tell whether or not squirrels are crazy (they are), but not you. Drazkowski is a firearms safety instructor who probably votes to protect the rights of mentally ill people to purchase guns, but he’s not trained to determine who is and isn’t because he’s NOT a doctor. Lucero is NOT a doctor but should probably see one because he’s a chem-trail conspiracy theorist, which is not a thing either. And finally, Justin Eichorn is NOT a doctor either but is a possible pedophile and realtor.
So these guys who want to make TDS a mental condition demand that…hold up. Did I write that one of these guys is a possible pedophile? How could Justin Eichorn be a pedophile? How could any Republican be a pedophile? Aren’t they the ones who spent the past four years calling us “groomers?” Eichorn has also taken a conservative stand against young children learning about gender diversity and sexual orientations, yet…I’m sure he was planning to show his sexual orientation to the 17-year-old girl he believed he was talking to before To Catch A Predator busted his ass.
It wasn’t To Catch a Predator that caught him. That show ended years ago, but now I wish it was still on. I would have loved to see the surprised look on Eichorn’s face as he walked in with a six-pack of wine coolers while discovering his underage date was a bunch of cops. My money is on the entrapment defense.
Last week, more Republican state senators were arrested in Minnesota for soliciting a minor than drag queens.
But what happened? Was Eichorn rushing the TDS bill with the other four guys and saying, “Hurry this up, guys. I have a date.”?
According to the Bloomington (MN) Police Department, 40-year-old Eichorn was arrested after allegedly arranging to meet up with someone whom he believed to be a 17-year-old girl. When he got to the location, he was met by uniformed police officers and booked into jail before being transported to the Hennepin County Adult Detention Center. He must have been disappointed it wasn’t the Juvenile Detention Center.
According to the cops, when the fake minor told Eichorn she was only 17, his response was, “Cool. Do you like raspberry or watermelon-flavored wine coolers?” or something to that effect.
Police said, “Felony charges of Soliciting Under 18 Year Old to Practice Prostitution are pending from the Hennepin County Attorney’s office.” But then, federal prosecutors took over the case, and now Eichorn is facing a federal charge of attempted coercion and enticement of a minor to engage in prostitution. This might be his lucky break because a Trump-appointed prosecutor could drop the charges, and federal charges can be pardoned. I mean, pedophilia is bad, but Trump once endorsed a pedophile for the US Senate. He’s done business with pedophiles. He’s appointed pedophiles. He’s partied with pedophiles and even rode on their planes. It’s not like Eichorn did something “illegal,” like boycotted Tesla or said something “treasonous” about Trump’s tiny fingers.
Eichorn has resigned from the state senate because it’s not a place for pedophiles, but there may be an opening soon in Trump’s cabinet. Trump did try to make a pedophile his Attorney General.
Ya know, I’m starting to think it’s not the Left who’s deranged.
Creative notes: I had two ideas for this one, and it was difficult for me to choose between them, and not just because I already used Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs back in 2021. Both roughs will be featured in the next Blog o’ Roughs, coming soon.
Drawn in 30 seconds: (snip-go see)
Scottie's Playtime 