Category: Sex / Sexual

Political news I want to share. 8-29-2026

Russian LGBTQ Group Shutters After Being Outlawed

According to Equality Ohio and TransOhio, the Ohio BMV will now only accept an updated birth certificate as proof of gender change. Read more ⏩ tinyurl.com/3fc45nr3?utm_medium=social&utm_source=bluesky_ 

— The Blade (@toledonews.bsky.social) 2026-08-18T19:00:10.215Z
Ohio DMV Stops Accepting Gender Change Form

https://www.tumblr.com/reagan-was-a-horrible-president/826137169021272065
https://www.tumblr.com/truth-has-a-liberal-bias/826129325162217472/lawsuit-over-sexual-assault-aboard-navy-transport
https://www.tumblr.com/saywhat-politics/826003683225583616/experts-warn-sen-mcconnell-may-be-dead-or
https://www.tumblr.com/saywhat-politics/825953014258057216
https://www.tumblr.com/saywhat-politics/825952907525537792/trump-administration-says-it-might-demolish-the
https://www.tumblr.com/saywhat-politics/825887128114364416

Breaking News: Trump officials are moving to open nearly 45 million acres of wilderness in national forests to new roads and logging, removing protections that had been in place since 2001.

— The New York Times (@nytimes.com) 2026-08-18T16:54:24.234503Z

Gas prices are up 30%, diesel prices are up 48%, jet fuel is up 73%, AND we are at our lowest level in emergency oil reserves in 40 years thanks to Trump's illegal war in Iran.Are we great again? #gasprices #costofliving #diesel #trump #jetfuel

— Defiance Dispatch (@defiancedispatch.bsky.social) 2026-08-18T18:30:58.390Z

"The US will sanction the president of the international criminal court (ICC) and a prosecutor tasked with investigating crimes committed by Israel during its war on Gaza."

— John Autry (@johnautry.bsky.social) 2026-08-18T18:34:34.571Z

Rubio just imposed sanctions against ICC President Tomoko Akane, a woman who is currently wanted in Russia because she issued an arrest warrant for Putin for war crimes 1/2

— John Hudson (@johnphudson.bsky.social) 2026-08-18T17:53:44.891Z

Rubio also imposed sanctions on ICC senior trial lawyer Abdoulaye Seye. The press release only says Seye engaged in efforts to arrest "officials whose government has not consented to ICC jurisdiction." Left unsaid is Seye's work led to Netanyahu's ICC arrest warrant 2/2

— John Hudson (@johnphudson.bsky.social) 2026-08-18T17:53:45.756Z

Although the fate of the ballroom is tied up in court, the Trump administration argues that the project is too far along to be stopped now. BULLSHIT!#TrumpMustGo #KingOfTreason #RepublicansDidThis #NoRepublicansEverAgain #USPol

— Democracy Matters! (@democracymatters.bsky.social) 2026-08-18T21:04:26.480Z

An AirTag hidden inside a rare book was tracked to a training facility in Las Vegas that houses a team focused on tearing books from their spines and scanning pages.

— Ars Technica (@arstechnica.com) 2026-08-18T13:55:24.685Z

Political news I want to share. 8-26-2026

https://www.tumblr.com/reagan-was-a-horrible-president/825421296920936448/judge-again-bars-trump-administration-from

https://www.tumblr.com/reagan-was-a-horrible-president/825417899918442496
https://www.tumblr.com/reagan-was-a-horrible-president/825325539137028096/minnesota-sues-texas-governor-over-refusal-to
https://www.tumblr.com/truth-has-a-liberal-bias/825486841230884864
https://www.tumblr.com/reagan-was-a-horrible-president/825412743124369408/brendan-carr-needs-to-be-charged-with-violating
https://www.tumblr.com/reagan-was-a-horrible-president/825318546833801216/us-gas-prices-set-mid-august-record-after-trump
https://www.tumblr.com/socialjusticeinamerica/825520577726087168/exclusive-navy-weighs-renaming-carrier-slated-to

https://www.tumblr.com/reagan-was-a-horrible-president/825334174070243328/trump-20-has-deleted-or-altered-nearly-400-us
https://www.tumblr.com/socialjusticeinamerica/825422736974331904/meet-natalie-harp-the-aide-so-close-to-trump-she
https://www.tumblr.com/reagan-was-a-horrible-president/825416871832666112
https://www.tumblr.com/reagan-was-a-horrible-president/825332571949940736
https://www.tumblr.com/truth-has-a-liberal-bias/825669662337613824

https://www.tumblr.com/reagan-was-a-horrible-president/825331097636388864
https://www.tumblr.com/reagan-was-a-horrible-president/825234554227998721
https://www.tumblr.com/reagan-was-a-horrible-president/825229012099039232
https://www.tumblr.com/reagan-was-a-horrible-president/825228565981347840
https://www.tumblr.com/reagan-was-a-horrible-president/825603757400375297/flock-is-quietly-selling-powerful-drones-that-scan
https://www.tumblr.com/saywhat-politics/825113114431340544/mining-claims-filed-immediately-after-trump
https://www.tumblr.com/reagan-was-a-horrible-president/825778505659858944/trump-june-stock-disclosure-more-than-1000
https://www.tumblr.com/reagan-was-a-horrible-president/825778125515505664
https://www.tumblr.com/reagan-was-a-horrible-president/825777731295969280
https://www.tumblr.com/reagan-was-a-horrible-president/825776245034844160
https://www.tumblr.com/reagan-was-a-horrible-president/825868722425266176
https://www.tumblr.com/truth-has-a-liberal-bias/825806919278215168/the-nerd-reich-tracks-the-unmasking-of-silicon
https://www.tumblr.com/truth-has-a-liberal-bias/825857021331062784
https://www.tumblr.com/truth-has-a-liberal-bias/825855511588143104
https://www.tumblr.com/truth-has-a-liberal-bias/825854923916902400
https://www.tumblr.com/truth-has-a-liberal-bias/825854403710009344

Weak Guys Disrupt WNBA | Beans Talk

This broadcast has important information on the trans issue being pushed by bigots in women’s sports.  They discuss how this really is an attack on the rights of all women making them inferior to men in our society.  It is part of project 2025 to lower the rights of women using trans people.  Hugs

A very religious woman I do tech work for.

#God from What Are You Really Afraid Of?

 

This woman is a good person.  She goes to church there or four times a week.  She volunteers 4 days in the church thrift stores. She is not a bad person; she really is very nice, not just bright.  So one day I was working on her computers, and it was something I needed to do about 3 times each month.  

As I was working on her two computers, she kept telling me about her god’s love.  Until I exploded!

Where was your god every time I was repeatedly raped as a kid, and why did he not stop it?  Did he enjoy watching it? I admitted shouting.  

She was silent for a few seconds.  Then she said, Scottie, he was holding your hands. Really, I know the guys holding my hands. I knew the girls who were holding my head to force me down on their sex organs.   I nearly walked out of the house. That level of stupidity is stunning, that level of excusing the abuse I had as a kid, to give her god credit.  

I did finish the job.  I also asked her if she wanted me to work on her stuff she kept her god herself.  For the last 10 years that has been the truce we have.  She still thinks her god is the entirety of existence, and she doesn’t seem to understand that her god watched each of my rapes, the violent rapes, the forced to drink urine, the tied to a stair rails so I could be raped by teenage males.  Damn I have to get some relief. I think soon my head will explode. Maybe it should. I am tired.   Maybe …maybe. No, not yet, not now.  I promised Randy I would tell him before I did. Not yet, not now.  But ever closer.

I just don’t understand why a good god would have watched what happened to me and let it go on, no matter what about free will. What about my free will not to be raped or forced to give blowjobs?  Doesn’t that count to her god?    Hugs

Not much these days, end up walking in circles around the house. Hugs

#upl from lonely

 

#Bud Koenemund from What Are You Really Afraid Of?

Political news I want to share. 8-14-2026

Democrats demand Trump reveal stock managers, explain suspicious trades

— CNBC (@cnbc.com) 2026-08-13T12:07:32.576Z

Orange Man is so in need of affirmation that he will stop at nothing to slap his name on any edifice in DC. Sad, pathetic and illegal. Astounding what can happen to a person whose Daddy didn’t hug him enough. http://www.nytimes.com/2026/08/13/a…

— Howard Sherman (@hsherman.bsky.social) 2026-08-13T17:56:13.905Z

White House to host crypto, prediction market executives next week

— Politico (@politico.com) 2026-08-13T20:03:40Z

https://www.tumblr.com/reagan-was-a-horrible-president/824787850938793984/source

Greenland authorities have forced a US oil company connected to Donald Trump to postpone drilling wells in the Arctic territory, defying claims by the US president’s envoy that Americans could be extracting crude by next year. http://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/a…

— Scott Horton (@robertscotthorton.bsky.social) 2026-08-13T03:19:23.000Z

https://www.tumblr.com/truth-has-a-liberal-bias/824769857191051264

🎁GIFTwww.wsj.com/us-news/trum…

— PJ walker (@pj1304.bsky.social) 2026-08-13T21:02:08.312Z

".. deployed for more than 250 days and it has not made a port call in 200 days, setting a record for consecutive days at sea .."@wsj.com http://www.wsj.com/politics/nat…

— Carl Quintanilla (@carlquintanilla.bsky.social) 2026-08-13T15:36:37.689Z

The Pentagon will soon cover the cost for some service members to freeze their sperm or eggs. 🔗Link to article in comments ⬇️

— Military Times (@militarytimes.bsky.social) 2026-08-12T20:53:31Z

https://www.tumblr.com/truth-has-a-liberal-bias/824766210610741248

Tenant groups intervene to save Mamdani's rent freeze after landlord challenge gothamist.com/news/tenant-…

— Gothamist (@gothamist.com) 2026-08-13T19:24:09.707308Z

Q: A lot of people around here can't afford to fly. Can you say something about gas prices being a dollar more than they were a year ago?SEAN DUFFY: No one complained about Joe Biden's inflation, which was wildQ: Can you talk about gas prices?

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar.com) 2026-08-13T13:43:28.548Z

I Was Dick Cheney’s Cardiologist. Trump Has Not Looked Well, and We Should Know Why. http://www.nytimes.com/2026/08/12/o…

— Elizabeth West (@limeylizzie.bsky.social) 2026-08-12T15:15:51.480Z

GOP Rep Falsely Claims 82% of Women Vaccinated in First Two Trimesters Miscarried

— Mediaite (@mediaite.com) 2026-08-11T23:13:17Z

BREAKING WaPo:Republican Rep. Max Miller's ex-wife has filed a federal civil rights lawsuit against Miller and his attorney — alleging that they "recklessly published" a nude image of Miller's 2-year-old daughter online.

— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1.bsky.social) 2026-08-13T03:05:42.548Z

BASH: It sounds like you're saying you're not going to return Max Miller's donations because you believe himLAWLER: 😮 Look, this is a private family matter. Max has also made allegations against his ex-wife. Nothing has been corroborated here. Do you have information that proves the allegations?

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar.com) 2026-08-13T16:51:53.128Z

Marni von Wilpert is hosting a congressional campaign fundraiser at a San Diego nightclub known for LGBTQ nightlife and adult-themed specials.https://www.foxnews.com/politics/california-dem-ripped-perverted-agenda-fundraiser-risque-nightclub

— The Right News, Right Now. (@bradporcellato.bsky.social) 2026-08-13T13:39:24.833088Z

Buttigieg’s plan to help Dems win again starts with the Indiana state legislature http://www.politico.com/news/2026/08…

— Timothy McBride (@mcbridetd.bsky.social) 2026-08-13T13:13:51.790Z

CNBC: Do you regret voting for RFK Jr?BILL CASSIDY: If you want to tell me that somebody didn't tell me the truth, and I should've seen in the future they were not gonna tell the truth, you can say, 'Bill you should've seen into the future'

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar.com) 2026-08-13T12:23:16.808Z

This is scandalous waste, fraud, and abuse. http://www.nytimes.com/2026/08/13/u…

— William Snyder (@profsnyder.bsky.social) 2026-08-13T10:16:40.682Z

KILMEADE: DHS plans to spend $20 million on electric shock gloves to aid federal agents. How would that work?HOMAN: It's another device to help someone be compliant when they're not. You can't have the first thing you go for be lethal force.

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar.com) 2026-08-13T12:02:01.282Z

Pastor David Ritchie is charged with solicitation of prostitution. He is one of eight men arrested during an undercover operation. https://bit.ly/4xs0mDH

— (@news4sa.bsky.social) 2026-06-16T13:34:00.258008598Z

BREAKING NYT:A federal judge in Boston just dismissed an antisemitism lawsuit against Harvard University — dealing a blow to the Trump admin's efforts to force the university into a settlement.

— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1.bsky.social) 2026-08-13T16:20:19.545Z

The Trump administration is abandoning controversial Biden-era plans to help developers build power lines in areas that badly need increased transmission infrastructure.

— NOTUS (@notus.com) 2026-08-12T22:09:02.21911961Z

Political news and stuff I want to share. 8-12-2026

Exclusive: The Justice Department has convened a special grand jury in D.C., a rare legal body that officials say could pave the way for federal prosecutors in the nation’s capital to investigate some of its biggest and most controversial cases.

— The Washington Post (@washingtonpost.com) 2026-08-12T12:30:07.482087709Z

Gov. Newsom: That $400 million Qatari plane? That's not a $400 million gift — it cost you $936 million. That was what was appropriated as he's cutting food stamps and cutting your Medicaid.

— Protect Our Care (@protectourcare.org) 2026-08-11T15:33:43.426Z

A federal judge in D.C. dismissed a lawsuit concerning the cancellation of a concert following the addition of President Trump's name to the venue's facade.

— White House Watchdog (@whitehousewatchdog.bsky.social) 2026-08-11T18:33:02.480Z

The FCC has played a leading role in Trump’s attacks on news broadcasters, and a third Republican to cast votes at commission meetings will give Chairman Brendan Carr more support for his policies.

— Ars Technica (@arstechnica.com) 2026-08-11T19:58:54.261Z

https://www.tumblr.com/reagan-was-a-horrible-president/824689839760982016

A federal judge in Massachusetts issued another order blocking the US Postal Service from implementing President Donald Trump’s sweeping attack on mail voting and his attempt to create a national voter registration list before the midterm elections. http://www.democracydocket.com/news-alerts/…

— Marc Elias (@marcelias.bsky.social) 2026-08-11T21:48:43.772Z

Jadon MacCormack, the anti-LGBTQ Christian extremist who ran for State House in Connecticut, has lost his primary.Republicans petitioned to add someone to the ballot so Jadon wouldn't make it to November and drag other candidates down. The plan worked.www.friendlyatheist.com/p/connecticu…

— Hemant Mehta (@friendlyatheist.com) 2026-08-12T02:50:03.843Z

Jadon MacCormack,(announced he's running 2028, CT Congressional District 2) is a proponent of murdering gays. And he lies that he has Repub Party's endorsement in this year's CT House race. (He doesn't.) He's insane. 🤬

— @bonniegriffith2.bsky.social 2026-08-09T17:18:32.039Z

This is happening in a bit. Come watch and be horrified.youtu.be/ZT70M0mKaDQ

— Hemant Mehta (@friendlyatheist.com) 2026-07-02T00:43:36.139Z

This interview highlights the differences between Evangelical hopes and dreams vs Catholic SCOTUS accomplishments.Mike Johnson “has been hapless & ineffective at governing. But has he advanced the cause of Christian nationalism?” he’s been wildly successful.”www.nytimes.com/2026/08/09/u…

— Tom Carter (@thcarter123.bsky.social) 2026-08-09T11:27:33.861Z

Musk gave $1.5 million last month to the Aurora Action Network, a Wisconsin-based political action committee that has already collected contributions from numerous billionaire mega donors.

— Reset America (@reset-america.bsky.social) 2026-08-09T04:00:38.558Z

Count Binface, a self-described intergalactic space warrior, has landed in the center of the U.K.’s political universe ahead of a special election Thursday that was derided as a farce long before the ballot was packed with nearly three dozen candidates — many from the silly end of the spectrum.

— The Associated Press (@apnews.com) 2026-08-10T12:00:23.872Z

Civil rights groups are challenging President Trump’s new effort to limit “birth tourism.”https://www.notus.org/immigration/civil-rights-groups-challenging-birth-tourism-order

— NOTUS (@notus.com) 2026-08-11T19:30:07.158616493Z

“The supreme court justice Samuel Alito gained up to $2.9m from his fossil fuel interests between 2005 and 2024, a new review of financial disclosures shows.”

— Saeed Jones (@theferocity.bsky.social) 2026-08-11T17:42:43.663Z

— Joe Cantwell (@joecantwell.bsky.social) 2026-08-12T12:51:02.342Z

Lawsuit challenges executive order targeting international criminal court for investigating Israeli crimes in Palestine

— Guardian US (@us.theguardian.com) 2026-08-11T15:59:12.713Z

Joint Base Charleston, South Carolina, became Joint Base Lindsey Graham during a ceremony today to rename the installation after the late senator.

— Olga Nesterova (@onestpress.onestnetwork.com) 2026-08-10T21:57:55.575Z

Families of sailors aboard the aircraft carrier USS Abraham Lincoln spoke to Military Times about multiple incidents in which sailors have attempted to go overboard amid the ship's extended deployment in support of combat operations in the Middle East

— JD Simkins (@jdsimkins.bsky.social) 2026-08-11T23:57:05.468Z

Trump on the Iran war this morning:"We are low keying it," and plans to wait Iran out economically. “It will work out. It always works out.”www.axios.com/2026/08/09/t…

— Sven-Erik Volberg (@volberg.bsky.social) 2026-08-09T17:16:19.664Z

Breaking: Israel has rejected US President Donald Trump's Board of Peace 15-point plan for Gaza, and will not withdraw until Hamas fully disarms, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said on Sunday.english.alarabiya.net/News/middle-…

— Mike Walker (@newnarrative.bsky.social) 2026-08-09T11:17:41.839Z

If they were so inclined, Democrats could make some brutal TV ads tying Republicans to these torture devices designed to be used on protesters

— Brandon Friedman (@brandonfriedman.bsky.social) 2026-08-11T23:54:35.251Z

ICE is Trump’s Gestapo, terrorizing the American people. #AbolishICE

— Mark Jacob (@markjacob.bsky.social) 2026-08-12T00:13:45.782Z

"Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers may soon be outfitted with gloves that can deliver painful electric shocks intended to gain compliance from combative individuals."Susan Collins & Congressional Republicans voted to fund all of this.

— Murshed Zaheed (@murshedz.bsky.social) 2026-08-11T23:29:55.494Z

California 🤝 @anthropic.comWe're entering a partnership to strengthen cybersecurity and provide Claude to state agencies at a discount.The Golden State helped build Silicon Valley — and every Californian should benefit from the responsible use of their latest innovations.

— Governor Gavin Newsom (@governor.ca.gov) 2026-06-29T14:15:39.945Z

That’s a Lot of Green: Taylor Farms Exec Allegedly Stole $32 Million From Produce Supplier at Center of Cyclospora Outbreak

— Mediaite (@mediaite.com) 2026-08-11T18:50:51.974Z

Taylor Farms contributed $2 million to Trump & Republicans as they postponed a rule to help the govt. limit the spread of foodborne illnesses.Read @premthakker.bsky.social's deep dive into how Taylor Farms' successful lobbying led to the current outbreak of cyclospora: zeteo.com/p/taylor-far…

— Zeteo (@zeteo.com) 2026-07-25T19:07:29.836Z
https://www.tumblr.com/reagan-was-a-horrible-president/824719801134055424/president-trump-signs-executive-order-regarding
https://www.tumblr.com/reagan-was-a-horrible-president/824695448814141440
https://www.tumblr.com/reagan-was-a-horrible-president/824692860108652544/aorish-said-yeah-this-kind-of-gripe-is-from-the
https://www.tumblr.com/truth-has-a-liberal-bias/824679277813514240

A draft rule reviewed by WIRED would prevent the census from counting undocumented immigrants. To protect against “distortions,” it would also bar questions about race and sexual orientation. http://www.wired.com/story/census…

— WIRED (@wired.com) 2026-08-08T14:09:33.945Z

Trump says "he'd love to run" for a third term but adds "the law is very strong"

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar.com) 2026-08-12T03:18:34.211Z

NYT: Kennedy Stirred Vaccine Fears in Pennsylvania Years Before Measles Outbreak By Teddy Rosenbluth @nytimes.com @teddyrosenbluth.bsky.social nyti.ms/4i5wbg5

— Greg Folkers (@gregfolkers.bsky.social) 2026-08-12T15:28:25.210Z

Between cheeto face falling asleep, RFK Jr. shaking like a leaf like he's going through withdrawal, and some flight attendant wannabee holding her stomach twisting around like a loon, this is the most Hee Haw administration ever.

— Jerrynmn1 (@jjnmnwww.bsky.social) 2026-08-11T18:35:08.844Z

Negotiations surrounding a possible federal plea deal for Luigi Mangione were ongoing between his lawyers and prosecutors, according to media outlets. (AP photo)

— KARE 11 (@kare11.bsky.social) 2026-08-12T17:04:09.103Z

Axios obtained 180 pages of plans for Trump's Kennedy Center renovation. What they show:

— Axios (@axios.com) 2026-08-12T14:01:24.259Z

Ben Folds, former Artistic Director of the National Symphony Orchestra, testified before a congressional forum titled “Monumental Waste: How Donald Trump Is Spending Millions Destroying American Landmarks”stereogum.com/2505928/ben-…

— Stereogum (@stereogum.com) 2026-07-22T17:48:03.118Z

Trump Administration Kills a Flagship Annual Report on the ArcticThe top of the world is warming faster than any other region. For 20 years, the Arctic Report Card chronicled the extraordinary transformation.

— BanmarNJ (@banmarnj.bsky.social) 2026-08-11T19:16:57.767Z

Long but interesting news articles.

https://www.tumblr.com/reagan-was-a-horrible-president/824675271660748800

 

https://www.tumblr.com/truth-has-a-liberal-bias/824681902203174912

 

https://www.tumblr.com/truth-has-a-liberal-bias/824670965003911168

https://www.tumblr.com/socialjusticeinamerica/824705166776352768

https://www.tumblr.com/saywhat-politics/824702580148011008/trumps-air-force-one-escape-while-leaving

It shouldn’t hurt to be a child. I am so tired

I have had three weeks of steriod shots, allergy shots, and testosterone shots. My hormones are a mess and coursing through me like angry bulls alternately making me happy and then very sad.  I have barely slept for three days. Tonight I made fried chicken and french fries for supper. I need to go to bed but to tell the truth, I am scared to do so. When I do fall asleep, the memories will come back.  Every hard hand and fist that hit me, the times I was hurt in so many ways, I remember them all.  As one of the songs says I told the lies to protect those abusing me because if I had not, it would have been worse.  I feel them.  I live it all over again.  And I am so tired. My pain doctor tried to help, and asked me if she could send me to a trama therapist; she said “Scottie you really need to talk to someone”. I told her another time, not yet, not now.  But every one of these songs has parts of my life in them. I guess I will go back to reading the news rather than go to bed; the news I can deal with maybe.  The memories I cannot, not tonight. Last night, in the middle of the night Ron realized I was very upset and had me move next to him. I need to sleep.  I am afraid to. I wonder if anyone can understand that.  Being afraid to go to sleep?  Hugs

 

 

 

 

 

The election results and my feelings

I had a really bad night where I was tearing my skin on my butt and thrashing around. Ron tried twice to wake me and once when he did it I was so deep in my memories of abuse that I tried to protect myself from him.  Once I was awake and knew what he had tried to do for me I couldn’t go back to sleep.  I tossed and turned until I got up.  

But then I did something that most people won’t understand, and in truth I don’t either. I suffered from the memories of my past and then when I woke up and went to my office to then go online to the Male Survivor site.  There I read more stories of abuse like mine.  Not all abuse stories have the physical abuse that mine did but the rest is still abuse I understand.  Still the reading of their abuse so mirrowed mine caused me even more distress and upset. 

I sat at my desk this morning and just cried.  No video on the other computer, no reading anything on the other computer. Just sitting here remembering the assaults, the pain of having a cock forced into my rectrum unwanted and not lubed, being forced to take a cock into my mouth with their hands firmly grasping my head so I had to take more of their dick than I could breathe with in my mouth. I apologize for being so graphic, but either I rejoin the survivors site and go down that rabbit hole, or just try to gently share the childhood I had here.  To tell the truth even now I am rocked and my stomach is upset over what I remember.   

I know those who were abused either physically, emotionally, or even sexually understand what I am trying to say.  The memories never go away; they fade and for a while you can ignore them. But then like what happened to me the last two nights I had nightmares of my childhood in complete color and detail. I not only remembered the events in my dreams; I felt every aspect of it on my body, and then the worst part. Something I have not shared yet. Ron woke me saying Scottie, no one is hitting you now.  My body did not agree with him.

Some of my abusers would force me to say back to them things they wanted to hear me say. You like this don’t you!  Thank me for fucking you!  You caused me to beat you and now say you’re sorry for doing that.  So many more.  I struggle with the memories of one hellspawn sibling male holding my little balls in his hand and squessing until I agreed to drink his pee just to stop him hurting me.  For the two male siblings and their father there was no understanding or sympathy. They wanted a couple of things, my humiliation and their sexual satisfaction.  They demanded I admit I was not equal to them and that they could abuse me with no consequences.  

So I had had many months without much issues rocking my calm.  But the last three nights have given me nightmares, and Ron has had to wake me because I was trying hard to scream out. I am a bit scared to go back to bed because as soon as I sleep the memories will return.  I do not want or need to relive that time of my life. Anyway I will go back to listening to the election results. But I am worried this will be another even  worse night for me.  How do I avoid the pain I know is coming?  Damn now I am scared to go to bed.       Hugs