A small update on Ron’s and my health

I have not given a large update on Ron’s health after his eye surgery nor on my own health. Good news is Ron had his cataract surgeries and his eyes are wonderfully improved. Ron wore glasses since he was in the second grade and now no longer needs to do so daily. His eye sight is now 20 / 25. In fact he now only needs 1.5 readers for fine print.

My health how ever has been deterrating steadly. I wont go into the speculations on it as I am going through the tests. I will say my blood work is very unnormal. The blood cells are wrong, the white and red blood cells are too low or deformed. My PSA has jumped to 7 in only 3 months.

I won’t go into the speculations as we only have fear causing “it could be this and we need to test for that”. I will tell you what is going on with me and how I feel. I have no energy. I used to wake up between 3 and 5 am and be full of energy to the point that when Ron got up he hated it. Now I can’t get up. I go to bed between 3 or 4 pm and stay there until 5 or 6 am and then go back to bed by 9 or 9:30. My pain levels have soared at a time I have been told that both my pain pills and treatments are being restricted. Not due to my situation but because RFK Jr., a former adict is trying to deny pain relief to everyone who needs it in the US. The clinic I see recently had a provider abusing trigger point steriod injections which I desperately need desperately due to back spasms, so the doctor in charge lowered the procedure to 3 times a year that a person can get steriods. The provider in question only did the steeriod injections without doing any other treatments, I get all the other treatments. But I need steriod injections into my destroyed shoulders, spine vertabrea, and also the muscles. So I have to talk to the in charge pain doctor about his ruling.

So along with my pain levels soaring and my blood labs being far outside the normal range I am suffering from extreme fatigue, weakness, and the inability to eat. I use yogurt and supplement drinks. I normally have a small yogurt and drink for breakfast if I am not vomiting or nauseated. Later that day Ron will try hard to get me to eat some soild food but mostly I can only get some soup down and have it stay down. If I have solids it has to be a small amount.

So that explains why I miss getting to the comments. I do read them and then save them in open tabs. I will reply to them soon. But right now I am on full liquids and tomorrow only clear liquids until 6 pm. Then Tuesday at 8:50 I check in for my upper GI. Then later in the month I will repeat the prep for a lower GI.

I can’t do both because I have gastroparisis and that means my stomach is slow to empty due to neurological damage. So they are afraid to do both until they can examine my stomach and make sure I won’t asperate during the procedure. I have been seeing doctors 2 or 3 times a week now and it just leaves me in a lot of pain and exhausted. I am trying to get the cartoons / memes / and news posts ahead so on days I can’t sit at the computer the post will get out. I do try to post news stuff but I simply put the articles in a tab to post when I can. So this is what is going on. The posts of memes and cartoons are the easiest for me to see.

Oh I forgot I started with the University of Miami in Naples to have my cataracts removed. They called me last monday but I have not felt well enough or had the energy to call them back. I will try to do it this week. Ron worries I am not strong enough right now for the hour long trips both ways and the procedures.

OK this got longer than I planned. If you reply I will save it in an open tab to respond to after I feel stronger or I have more news to share. I was working on the cartoons / memes / news post for 14th because it maybe that I may not be able to be at my computers for a few days, so I am trying hard to get posts ahead. Sadly with everything going on with me and Ron’s sister being here he totally stopped work on my new office with lots more light and windows. I understand why. Thank you to everyone who still comes here and reads what I post. Some times the videos are the only thing I can post or see for a while until I lay down and recharge. I find I am so tired I just watch the videos and lose track of time. I fall asleep at my desk a lot now. I value everyone of you and when I get better I will be much quicker to respond to you. Hugs

I feel this is important enough to have its own post.

I treat everyone how I want to be treated. Recently the pharmacist at the pharmacy I use took the time to thank me for Ron and mine patience and joyful demeanor when we came to pick up our medications or when we decided to wait for them. He said so many people get irritated that we can’t instantly do what they want but you make us smile and tell us it is OK, as you know we are working as hard as we can. I thanked him but replied I know how hard their job is because from the minute they open the pharmacy until they leave people want something and they want it right now.

Ron and I went in last monday morning and Ron got two vaccines and I got four. We joked around with the staff and waited happily as they got all the required things done on their computers. They were busy and I asked if it would be better if we came back another time. The pharmacist said no, they were busy but we were willing to give them the time needed and they appreciated that. Ron and I don’t even need to give our names when we go to get our medications as they know us. They seem to think that Ron and I are treating them with respect and understanding is a gift when we think it is just simple respect.

It is how I deal with everyone I deal with. I respect everyone until they show me they don’t deserve my respect. Clerks, people behind desks, and others that help you in stores all deserve respect. Again I hope I will be treated as I treat others. When out in the public most people hide their pain, I know I do. Some people can sense when I struggle.

Recently at the nearby Publix grocery store where we get three cases of 2 litter sodas a week, after they were brought to me in a cart the young man noticed my cane. He offered to go out to the car and load them for me. I said it was OK; I was slow and did not want to take up his time. Then he said something I remember. He said I have seen you struggle to lift stuff, I really don’t mind doing it. He then pushed my cart to my car and loaded all of them in the trunk. He asked how I would get them into the house and I said I break them out into two sodas in a reusable grocery bag. He offered to do it for me as the bags were right there. Really nice person. It saved me a lot of effort and pain. I did feel a bit guilty for taking this young person’s time and the effort he was making on my behalf but to tell the truth those cases are really heavy for me and it hurts when I lift them. Hugs

Halloween bigotry

I saw this first hand.

https://www.tumblr.com/whatareyoureallyafraidof/828231430084739073/wahbegan-teaboot-ryulongd-rune-midgarts

Back in 1996, Ron and I moved into a neighborhood being bought up by wealthy people. It was an older neighborhood being taken over by wealthy gays and others of money. Across the main 4 lane street from our neighborhood was a large migrant population of hard working poor brown people.

A group from that sort of wealthy people came to tell us that they did not want to give out candy to “those kids” and that the kids in our neighborohood would be having Halloween candy night a day early and asked we keep our lights off and take down our decorations before the other kids could come the next night.

Ron and I were appalled. We were new to the neighborhood, but we were not willing to do what as asked of us. So we did halloween candy night for both nights. While the first prehalloween night had few kids and they had fancy well bought costumes the next night was the joy.

Yes many more kids came the night of Halloween. They were dressed in hand made costumes. They were very polite and happy. They expressed joy over the treats they were given, unlike the kids from the night before. The kids made of our decorations and had fun. It was a longer night but so much more fun.

Ron and I paid a price for making “those kids” happy. We were excluded from neighborhood events; we no longer were invited to functions we had been invited to before. We were not even spoken to by the people who felt some kids did not deserve a fun night of getting a few candies because of their skin color. We really did not care.

Two years later we moved and bought a different home in just as wealthy an area but one much more accepting of people with different backgrounds and skin colors. Many of our much more wealthy neighbors had those backgrounds and skin colors. They accepted us even as we were in the smallest home and clearly did not have their money. The next halloween the streets were well lighted with decorations and every child was welcomed to the people’s doors. We were happy we moved. We lost a lot of equity in the house we had and moved from so quickly, but gained it in a much better class of neightboros. Hugs

Sadly I have to be offline for a while.

Hello everyone. I have an issue with the cartoon pages. They stopped working when several programs were updated. Turning off add blockers seems to bring up the cartoon on each page but I have to disable it on each of the 67 pages. There has been something that is not working correctly with vavaldi browser. I will try one more thing before I go to reseting the computer and then reloading it. I need the cartoon pages to do the cartoon / meme posts. I will try to be as fast as I can. Hugs.

I was up all night with stomach distress.

Last night I ate what I felt was a large meal for supper at 4 pm. Ron made me a steak with a small soup bowl salad along with three slices of buttered bread. I ate all the salad, ate 2/3rd of the steak and two slices of bread. I felt I did great. Ron felt I did not eat much or enough and should eat more. Ron also eats everything I don’t finish and has his own hunger issues. Ron is always hungry, especially at night.

I was so tired after eating that I was falling asleep at my desk, so I with Ron’s urging went to bed. I slept until about 11 p.m.. Ron had stayed up until then watching a show. So he came to bed and we chatted a bit. We decided to cuddle later. But by midnight I was having stomach distress. It got worse as the night wore on. I got up about 1 a.m. and took medication and sipped on a deit caffeine free cola to help me burb releasing the pressure. I was careful not to add too much liquid which would cause my stomach to void as soon as possible. I went back to bed a couple of hours later. As I layed in bed I felt my stomach release and start to empty at 4:46 a.m., and at the same time I felt the morning bowel movement need coming on. Related … I don’t know as I always do a morning BM minutes after getting up between 4 and 5 a.m..

I was still quessy as I got up then as I had a soda and a couple of fiber cookies. Ron and I talked about the probiotic suggestions and the suggestions on priorities. As you see I have not stressed over being late on posts. MDavis and others have made a good point that my putting pressure on myself when I am not feeling well to do more is only making me feel worse and doing damage to the healing myself. I will continue to do my best as I love doing this, but I won’t hurt myself or get so upset that I push myself harmfully to make the posts. Thank you to the readers of this blog for giving me that space and letting me take the time to heal or at least not drive myself to being more sick.

At 8:30 a.m. I ate a small piece of lazanna that I had made and frozen a month ago. It was great but while Ron had eaten the majority of it but the small piece he left was almost more than I could finish. But it tasted and felt great as I ate it.

At 1 p.m. Ron wanted me to have lunch. There was no way. Now it is getting past 3:30 p.m. And Ron wants me to eat supper. I can’t! So I guess I will negotiate a small sub or sandwich as there is no way I can eat a real meal. I might do a small salad which I also would love.

It is thundering and raining so the cat is terrified. Ron is going to make me a sandwich of ham, chicken, turkey, and lettuce, and he wants me to eat half of it, drink a nutrition shake, and wait to eat the other half for at least half an hour. He doesn’t want the issues I had last night. I have my allergy appointment tomorrow at 10 a.m. So I will be posting news from my iPad.

OK I had the 1/2 sandwich and the nutrition shake. I have to admit I am full. Entirely stuffed. So I am glad I did as Ron wanted me to do. There is a reason he has like 27 years of medical experience. If I had eaten more I might suffer as I did last night. Thinking of adding a few more things to the cartoons / memes post and then go to bed. Hugs

Not where I used to be.

@austinvancemusic

Not perfect. Just better than I used to be. This one is for anyone who’s grown, changed, and kept moving forward. What do you think of this one? 🎶 #newcountry #countrymusic #countrysong #countryvibes #austinvance

♬ original sound – Austin Vance

For those interested in my food intake.

So after I came out of the bedroom Ron asked me to peel the potatoes for supper. I had told him before I went to take my shot that if I was to eat it needed to happen soon. So he made one of my favorites, shaken bake chicken, smashed potatoes, and brown gravy with corn as the vegetable. I was able to eat a small chicken part, a scoop of potatoes with gravy, and half my bowl of corn. I was shocked to get that much down. I regret I did not finish my cartoon / meme post nor did I work on the news post. But I ate two meals today which is a big improvement. But now I am going to bed as I am very tired. Hugs

I helped Ron make supper and I am emotionally struggling.

For some reason the YouTube algerithum wants to send me more and more child abuse stuff. I went to the bedroom to take my testosterone shot while listening to YouTube on earbuds. Suddenly, as I had my pants down and was about to inject myself YouTube decided to play child abuse songs. I was not in a position to change the channel, so I stopped the feed until I finished my task. But it left my mind open and memories and stuff started cascading into my mind. I was in criss for 30 minutes until I pulled myself out of the cycle as I heard the vortex coming for me. If I let the vortex take me it takes hours or days of effort to drag myself out of it. Luckily I was able to respond / deal with it all, spent 30 minutes crying in the bedroom before coming out so Ron wouldn’t know. He suspected something but did not pry, only saying he loved me. I am so tired of this cycle. There has to be a better way, a way with out all these triggers. All these things that remind me of the past. Any way I am OK, I have to be. Hugs

Comments

Hello Everyone. I have not been feeling well the last few days, and I stopped eating. This morning I woke up in a soaking sweat, like I was in a shower or swimming pool. I woke Ron who helped me take my blood sugar, and it was 46. Ron was going out of his mind. He kept telling me we needed to go to the hospital. I took four glucose tablets and went back to bed. I was then able to sleep a few hours. Then I got up. I have felt like shit all day. But I wanted to address comments before I go to bed. I will spend tomorrow morning doing comments until I get all caught up. Thanks for commenting; I love reading them. Hugs

Your choice

If you have read the recent comments you will notice they have dealt with self-improvement and taking control over ones life. I strongly believe this. I know it can be done because I did it. I had a choice. I could be like my abusers and be what they wanted to make me. Or I could make sure I was never like them in anyway. I chose the second one. I think I made the correct choice. I prefer to help others than hurt them; I don’t need to harm others to make myself feel better. I like being kind and nice. I like lifting others up even if it is just with a hello and a smile. I treat the people I meet in my life as the humans they are with feelings and needs, not just objects to my own goals. Yes, I think I made the right choice. Hugs