A little while ago hurt myself bad

While watching the morning Sunday broadcast shows I was helping Ron deal with getting Sunday breakfast together.   Ron likes to do a big breakfast on Sunday morning, but as we age it has shrank in size but not in stuff.   As we were getting stuff out of the bottom freezer drawer Ron was on one side I was on the other.   After getting stuff out I was holding a couple things in my hands so I lowered down and stretched out to place them on Ron’s side of the large drawer to better even things out in the freezer.   As I was putting the first of the things down I got a horrible stabbing pain in my middle back and then the muscles contracted adding more pain.  I gave a gasp and cried out.   I dropped the things in my hands and partially stood up, turned and leaned up against the nearby door frame and just tried to breathe.  My right leg from the calf down went numb.   Ron rushed over to me but the damage was done.   I was in trouble.   I shuffled to my desk, took more medications, sitting was very painful, but standing was also very painful each time I tried.  I am not going to be able to help Ron with breakfast as we planned.  Just that damned quick a mistake, an action without thinking has seriously impacted me this morning.   

A time later.  Ron made a great breakfast of hashbrowns and an egg scramble with mushrooms, tri-colored peppers, and bacon.  Normally we have ham steak and maybe sausage with breakfast but after I hurt myself Ron declared we did not have those things and did not need them.    Plus we had toast.   I ate until I was a bit overfull.   I won’t be able to help him clean up like I normally do and when the current show “Face the Nation” is over I am going to bed for a long while to release my back.  I took extra medication when it happened and that plus the food is making me very tired.   I hope when I get up, I can get to some comments.   If you don’t hear from me, you know I was not able to do so.  My right foot still is screaming with the stinging numbness feeling.   Hugs for everyone.   

Let’s talk about Elvis helping us see the future….

Quick update on me before the video that has information that everyone should hear.   I hurt so bad right now I can only stand a few minutes before the pain is so bad I either have to sit or fall.   Of course it is better earlier when I first get up by noon or 1 PM I can barely get up and go to the bathroom before the pain is so severe I am in danger of falling down.    But if I sit the pain builds up in the upper part of my back instead of the lower part so again I have to move.   Mostly right now it seems I get about 3 hours up at most and then 2 hours laying down.   When I take enough medication to help cover the pain which lately has been the maximum of my medications, the next day I am sick to my stomach and have nausea issues.  Think of it like being on a drunken night out at the bars, and how you would feel the next day.   That lasts until I get enough medication back in my system again, and then if I take the maximum again I am sick the next day.    It is a cycle I cannot stand.   Be pain controlled in the afternoon and rest of the day while befuddled with confusion of the medications and the next morning wake up sick with a rolling stomach and nausea that either makes me vomit (three times yesterday) or just feel like I am going to vomit such as today when I did not vomit but felt I could until about 1 PM.   I have an MRI on the 25th.   I am losing the good from the last set of spine shots in the bottom of my spine, so tomorrow I need to call the pain clinic and see if they can adjust my appointment to get another set of spine epidurals for all three sections.   Right now I am spending as much time laying down as I am upright.   However this morning and yesterday morning Ron and I did take a short walk as we used to before the hurricane.   It is much shorter than the other walks were because my back gives out and his hip starts to bother him too much to do a longer one.    If the new spine shots don’t fix this, then I need to change medications to fentanyl or something as strong.   The doctor tells me that fentanyl is much stronger than the medications I am currently taking.  One last thing.   Randy my wonderful brother has tried to get me to look at getting an over the bedside table like hospitals use and using a couple of the old laptops we have or at least the bedroom TV and a laptop to read and answer comments which I bitch constantly I am missing.    Today Ron and I have started talking about it.   It will depend on what the doctors can do.   Hugs

I can hardly breathe but I have taken more medications and it is getting easier.

An update and a photo.   The update from last week is the testing seriously poisoned me and I was very sick.  When I told that she was cruel and even told the doctor I should report him to the Geneva Convention both were stunned until they looked at my back.   Then they kept saying I should have called in.   But I reminded them I was reacting so badly during the midweek visit they already claimed it was a serious problem and gave me a list of things to avoid in products.   On Thursday Ron started using every medication we could get including the ones given me from the allergy office.   By Friday afternoon I was a raw mass on my back and so sick I was throwing up.   Ron wanted to take me to the emergency room.   I decided to take a bunch of Benadryl as that was what they would do in the ER.   It was a long weekend.  

Today I was starting to feel better, but still so very tired.  But ready to seriously get back to my blog rather than just read / watch stuff and post it.   But the universe is not done messing with me yet.  

Ron has not been feeling well either this last week he has been in a lot of pain in his back and hip.   But today he decided to put up the shelves I have been asking for … a long time.   Due to the small space and James being at work I needed to help Ron.   That was a mistake that couldn’t be avoided.   

The effort involved with putting up the shelves aggravated and caused serious spasms in my back.  Due to that I started having trouble walking and couldn’t stand without support.   Lucky for me I have lots of great canes.   The pain caused my heart at one point to peak at about 168 and go out of rhythm for a bit.  I took my medication and it settled at about 115.  Then slowly slowed to 95, 85, and then down to 83.   Right now it is 80.   But the good news is my disk has a lot less stuff on it and will have even more stuff tomorrow when I feel like moving more of the wired stuff.   Odie is happy he has more room to spread out.   I did not get back to the comments and other blogs like I planned today but I sure have that as my goal.  Anyway here is a picture of the new shelves long after the sun went down and I could stand again.  I was able to move a lot of stuff off the desk which was over crowed and yet the other set of speakers the cord is too short.   I have to look in my many boxes of extra cords for an extensions of the right wires / jacks … (What I want is a new set of much better sounding surround sound speakers …)   Hugs and lots of love.  Scottie   Oh Yes that is Odie on my desk, now that Tupac is a house permanent person Odie is making sure he gets as much desk time as possible.    Hugs

My new shelves

clearing up what I said the testing was for.


Monday I mentioned I was going to have testing done and said it was for heavy metal poisoning.    That was a misunderstanding from the person who set up the appointment because Ron my spouse had that same testing a few months ago.   My testing had to do with the different things in shampoos, lotions, soaps, and some minerals.   They also want to start my allergy shots again.   But that will involve doing this same kind of testing I think before they start.   I am headed of to bed, I am very tired and my back hurts so bad I can hardly breathe.   Oh and enjoy the meme I included.     Best wishes and hugs.      

The sadistic bastard is playing with me.

I gave up about 5pm I think.  I couldn’t take it anymore.  I went to bed.   I tossed, turned, rolled over until I fell asleep.  By midnight I was again awake.  The pain in my back and shoulders is too much to lay in any manner or direction.   I got up at 1pm and went to the computers.   The one loving this is Odie who is sprawled on my desk purring and snoring.   

I feel like there is a hand around my spine in the middle of my back.  It is squeezing and letting go, then gripping and pulling, then letting go, then squeezing again.   The pain can get so bad I have to take all of my allowed medication basically putting me asleep or unable to concentrate / reason well.  

At 10 PM I took a 12 hour long acting morphine, a backlofen, two 50 mg tramadol, and an 800 mg Ibprofen.  All are the max now allowed by FL law, as the legislature knows more than the doctors that are trained and treating me do.  I used to take much stronger morphine which helped but the Republicans in the Florida government who never studied medicine in any advanced learning feel that my pain is not worth their political posturing.  

At 2am I took another two tramadol’s and a baclofen.   

This was happening in several places in my spine.  They just gave me injections into my spine near the base.   The part near the yoke, I could tell you the place if my mind was clearer, but as Ron can tell you they have to go sideways into the spine so the needle is long and yes painful.   But they really help.   I am not sure if it is the same as they give women giving birth but it is great at stopping the pain.

But until now they have been trying to treat the middle of my back with muscle injections.   That has failed.   So I have another MRI for that section.  Also again my pain doctors are insisting I up my pain medications.   They want me on fentanyl.   I like what I have as I can control how much I take and how.   I lose that with the stronger medications.  It will flood my system regardless of my activities or what I wish.   But I cannot continue as it has been for the last three months.   I am at the end of my tolerance.   

I blame nothing but my own body and my efforts after the hurricane to help to return my home to a usable / livable state.   It caused a lot more damage and pain than I had before.   Too bad FEMA cannot pay for pain and suffering.   The wealthy can hire people to fix the problem or afford to stay elsewhere, us poor have to deal with it as we can.    I am at a loss as to what to do now, how to move forward.  The goal is to get the next MRI and see what it says.   If they can do injections into the spine to kill the pain, OK.  If not we have to think of the next step.   

Hanging out there always is surgery.   But every doctor I have talked to tells me it is a never ending slippery slope.  If I have the first one, I will need to have more regularly as the things hurting me back there will grow or happen even faster.   It will become an arms race in my spine.   

The reason for this post!   I have not been able to sit and process news, the most lately I can do is watch videos.  Those I think have value I have reblogged.   (even with the new chair there is a spike going into my middle back)  I have not looked at the comments in over a week.   I plan to do that this morning.   I have set aside the time to reply to as many as  I can.  Randy asked me today about the other blogs I went to and love.   I told him I just cannot get to them, every second sitting in my chair is like a nail gun driving nails into my back.   

Anyway I wanted everyone to know.  I want everyone to understand why I am not getting to the wonderful comments I love.   I will do so as soon as they inject my spine or increase my medications.    Hugs and lots of love to all.    Scottie

After writing this but before sending it I went to bed about 6 AM.  I got up at 10:30 AM.    Back to sitting in my chair trying to rev up my mind.   Hugs

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed in the computer array …

Hello and happy holidays to everyone.   I hope each of you have had a joyous holiday so far, filled with food and enjoyment.   The last time I fixed up the computers I mentioned I had blown out the graphics card.  The new card arrived late last week and I put it in.    Also the platter 1tb hard drive I used in that computer was chattering bad.   Not a good sign.  I planned to change it out with another one soon.   Well soon happened Christmas day because I may or may not have had a medium risk virus / malware I couldn’t clear that looking back I was attacking the wrong thing.

I ran Norton Power Eraser first thing on both computers.  The Video computer was clean, no problems.   The Blogging computer had the medium severity virus / malware saying it was in the GeForce …, which is where I screwed up.   Because I tired from being up most of the night due to both steroids and both Ron and James setting the house alarm system off.   I miss read where the virus was.   It was not in the graphics card driver like I assumed.   It was on a file to install the automatic GeForce NVidia graphics card drivers.  But the driver install and the program install had very similar names and I did not catch the difference.    

When I ran the cleaner program it said it couldn’t remove the malware.  I Was surprised as it normally uninstalls the malware easily.  I uninstalled the driver manually but the computer kept putting it back in when I tried to run the Power Eraser scan.  And every scan was telling me that I still had the virus.   After about a couple hours I decided to stop monkeying around and just dump the OS (Windows) and change the secondary drive I was using for the data / programs not need to installed on the OS SSD.  I did that.  Ron put the computer back on the floor and as I am not supposed to get down on the floor or under desks ROn hooked it back up. 


That is when I found out I seriously messed up my windows install USB last time I was doing the install / changing drives.   I was having an issue with the 1 TB hard drives and switching data / programs where I wanted them.  I was getting write protected errors and blocks.  I changed the attributes on the drive and files and forced the changes.   It was only after that I suspected I was trying to do it to the Window’s install USB, destroying the ability to use it to install Windows OS.  Lucky for me I have several others but they were even older versions and would need even more time consuming updating.  I worried it was so old that windows would reject it.  

When you install windows if you leave the computer connected to the internet the OS program will go to Window’s servers and install an updated copy of the OS program.   That saves a lot of time installing, updating, installing more, updating over and over.   I have taken to doing that.   Yes it is before the anti-malware anti-virus and firewalls are installed but I find it is an acceptable risk.  But right after it stops downloading and get to the region / license stage you must disconnect the internet access or Window’s will force you to use your online Microsoft account or set one up to start the computer.   I hate that because it informs Microsoft every time you start your computer, plus it use to require a person to keep putting in their password to start the computer.   The first time I did the installation I forgot and locked myself in a loop of Windows refusing to let me go further unless I used the Microsoft account.   I had to redo the download and start of the install.  

Once I got the OS running I installed Norton and ran the power eraser.   Still had the malware.   But I had not installed the graphics driver so I looked closely at where the malware location was.  Damn it, it was on a thumb drive I was storing some of the programs I wanted to install so I wouldn’t have to look each one up.   I deleted the file, and told the NPE to fix the problem, and it did.   What a lot of extra work because I did not read / understand what the malware was or where it was located.   

Well I got everything done and set up by 10:30 last night and went to bed.   Hopefully I can do a bit of computer housekeeping and get to answering comments and do a bit of posting.    Best wishes and hugs.

Republicans Want You To Snitch On Your Librarian

If anyone wonders , yes the blogging computer is down.   I had to swap secondary drives, and the last time I updated the computers I ruined my good newest windows 10 USB drive, so I had to use a very old one that caused its own problems and after several hours of installing I had to reset windows itself downloading it off the internet from Microsoft so I can complete the install.  So here are some videos on Christmas day for everyone while I fix my blogging computer.  Happy whatever holiday you celebrate today for everyone, my hope for you is you have the greatest fun, the tastiest food, and are with people you enjoy if that is your thing.   Hugs

An update on my medical issues

Seen my pain doctor this morning, came home, ate, and went to bed.  Got up a while ago.   Tomorrow morning I go back and have spine shots in the base of my spine to keep me walking and treat that area of bad pain.  The MRI showed more damage there.   The C area of my spine shows a little damage but not enough compared to the other areas to be concerned about now.  So now I have to get an MRI of the middle of the spine.   I have a very large amount of pain from there and that is where the worst of my muscle spasms are at.    But Medicare would only let my doctor order two MRI sections at a time so we had to do it this way.   I also have to schedule a nerve study because my pain doctor thinks I have Carpal tunnel in my right hand and damage in my right shoulder.   She is having it done in both arms.   Then I have to have shots / treatments in my right shoulder.   So much pain right now makes it really hard to think and sit.   Hugs