Everything? by Clay Jones
Morons will be morons. Read on Substack
Elon Musk got into a little tiffy-tiff with Peter Navarro, and I have to say, I like seeing these guys destroy each other.
You can’t choose a side between Elon and Navarro. You can only hope both lose. It’s like trying to choose a side during the war between Iraq and Iran (the US picked Iraq), or when the Dallas Cowboys play the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, or when the Atlanta Braves plays of the two baseball teams in Florida, or a fight between the insurance emu or Flo from Progressive, or Ice T in Carshield commercials vs gutter filter commercials, or a contest between Nickelback and the Kars4Kids song, or a battle between ketchup on hotdogs and Domino’s Pizza.
Side note: I just Googled to make sure it is Ice T in those stupid Carshield commercials, and just because I’m trying to be accurate and informative to serve you, I’m going to get thousand of Carshield ads in all my shit now. You’re welcome.
If you see two fucknuts in MAGA caps in a slap fight, you don’t choose a side, and for the love of god, you don’t break it up. You should get some popcorn and encourage each fighter. “Kick him in the nuts! Yeah, that’s how you do it. Hey, other guy. Are you going to let him get away with kicking you in the nuts like that?”
In case you don’t remember, Peter Navarro is a lying sack of turds. He was the director of the National Trade Council in the first Trump administration (sic), then director of the Office of Trade and Manufacturing Policy. Now, in Trump 2.0 (sic), he’s senior counselor for Trade and Manufacturing. He’s also the first official from Trump’s White House (sic) to serve time in prison for trying to steal the 2020 election. Now, there are at least two felons in the White House.
This week, Navarro “guaranteed” the Trump tariff war will not bring a recession, just like he guaranteed there wouldn’t be a pandemic from COVID-19. Instead of investing in stocks, I’d rather place wagers on Peter Navarro being wrong about things.
But what’s going on between him and Elon?
Last Saturday, a poster on Twitter/X defended Navarro’s intellect as a voice on trade. This is like when a MAGAt tries to tell us that Trump knows what he’s doing. Navarro is a big part of Trump’s trade policies. Musk replied that Navarro’s Harvard Ph.D. suggested he had more ego than brains and that he “ain’t built shit.”
Musk has criticized Trump’s tariff war, and the two-day stock market crash, before coming back and crashing again, cost Elon at least $18 billion in Tesla stock. It’s kinda difficult to tell someone the tariffs are working when that someone just lost $18 billion because of the tariffs.
Then, Elon addressed an Italian political party (think of Nazis with risotto) by video and said, “Both Europe and the United States should move, ideally, in my view, to a zero-tariff situation, effectively creating a free trade zone between Europe and North America.” That goes against Trump’s stance (for now), whose trade policy is wildly going in the opposite direction.
Navarro, who has been defending Trump’s tariffs, has said Trump’s tariffs will bring in over $600 billion in new annual revenue. That can’t be true at all because Trump is calling on other nations to negotiate, so these tariffs will eventually be reduced, either by negotiations or Trump chickening out because his balls dropped off again. If that is Trump’s intention (not his balls dropping off but reducing the tariffs), then we won’t be getting new revenue every year of $600 billion. But, if we do get $600 billion revenue from these Trump tariffs, it will be from American consumers. Navarro should be capable of understanding this because he has a PhD in economics from Harvard.
Navarro has written a dozen books which most economists call bullshit. Despite Navarro’s PhD from Harvard in economics, he believes a trade war with higher tariffs will allow us to cut more taxes. I don’t have a PhD in economics from Harvard, but I still know that tariffs are taxes on American consumers. Duh.
Navarro and Musk don’t agree on trade. So, after an insult from Elon, Navarro sent one back, saying Elon wasn’t a car manufacturer, just an assembler of parts. Uh oh.
Elon responded to the video (which we don’t need to watch), saying, “Navarro is truly a moron.” He also said Navarro is “dumber than a sack of bricks.”
And then Elon tweeted about 20 more times to defend himself and his shitty cars.
Elon is right about this. Peter Navarro is a moron who is dumber than a sack of bricks, but Elon is a moron, too. Elon is a lying Nazi-supporting moron.
But Elon got the better of this since he told Navarro to consult with economist Ron Vara. Who? Ron Vara is an economist Navarro has quoted in several of his stupid books. The only thing wrong with that is Ron Vara doesn’t exist. It’s an anagram of “Navarro.” Peter Navarro has to quote a fictional economist because he can’t find a real economist who shares his dumbasseconomic beliefs, probably because they’re fucking insane. Navarro is that one guy in the office who’ll advise that today’s lunch should be from Blimpies (I just finished 30 Rock).
Even Elon’s brother, Kimbal, said, “Who would have thought that Trump was actually the most high tax American President in generations?” He also said, “Through his tariff strategy, Trump has implemented a structural, permanent tax on the American consumer.”
This is like Rob Gronkowski knowing FTX cryptocurrency wasn’t real money before Tom Brady lost $30 million in it.
White House spokesgoon Karoline Leavitt was asked about the sparring between Elon and Navarro, and she explained it with, “Boys will be boys, and we will let their public sparring continue.”
Oh, yeah. Leavitt is also a moron.
Maybe Trump is getting all of his trade advice from Gronk.
By the way, this is what inspired this cartoon.
Creative note: I have five ideas in my folder to choose from for the next few days. I felt this would be the best for today. This cartoon was so quick to draw that the files of it that I sent to my clients may be the smallest I’ve ever sent. The files with crowd scenes and lots of Easter eggs are huge.
Music note: I listened to Queens of the Stone Age.
Drawn in 30 seconds: (snip-go see it! It’s fun.)
Scottie's Playtime 