Hello All. I am stumbling over how to express my thoughts on this or even if they are accurate, so I think I need your help. I don’t know if it is best listening to Belle talk about Recisions first, but I’ll put forth her video and let you know my thoughts after that I need some help understanding.
Recision is a trackable and mostly upfront process where the congressionally approved monies are rejected by the executive branch. Where I differ from Belle on this, sort of, is that the republicans in general and more specifically whoever is the brains behind the drumpf administration would seriously consider this idea of Recision. I think this is pure smoke and I very much do not believe that is their goal for a variety of reasons:
First and foremost, that then makes those funds unavailable. Not for a moment do I believe that drumpf want to limit his access to funds.
Making the Recision process fact is time consuming. The type of governing, if I can call it that, drumpf engages in is one of misdirection and chaos. Recision is a predictable and voted process that does not allow for dictatorial maneuvering by the powers that be, which not only allows for others to opine or even stop the process, it limits the “well what’s done is done, can’t stop it now” response.
But Mostly: The goal of replacing government workers with partisan drones has not been forgotten. The game plan outlined in Project 2025 that drumpf repeatedly said he knew nothing about yet seems to be marching right along point by point was to replace government workers with partisan compatriots so that he would not be blocked from accomplishing those plans.
In a recent interview Elon said that the rank and file government workers are a hinderance to his ability to make the “efficiency” mandates and cuts a reality.
Of the first firings were the very people who are trained with the policies and laws associated with the departments they oversee and charged with investigating allegations of abuse and fraud.
drumpf has used the ‘how creatively can you kiss my ass’ process for his cabinet and department meetings since his first term, expecting these grown men and women to expound on how great ‘dear leader’ is as a man and a leader. Those government workers removed – while individually agreeable perhaps – as a whole are not willing to debase themselves to perform their jobs.
Elon required government workers to list what they did last week so to justify their job. (It did not go well)
This is what I am betting I will see soon: These displaced workers performed x-amount of work. That work, those services, will soon to be seen as necessary, but as the workers were dismissed for being “unfit“, they will need to be replaced with those “fit” for the job. And, of course, the first definition of “fit” is one who will do what they are told no matter what while publicly kissing sweet potato hitler’s ass.
Where I need input now is in consideration that the guy in the mirror isn’t giving me a lot of erudite thoughts on this issue, so I’m a bit lost in my own wanderings and I simply don’t have the time in front of the interviews and news to have better information. So far I’m not hearing the news organizations talking about this in this expected outcome. What do you think?
One of the least comfortable things that having older parents is that I have to deal with the fact that they are not as quick with their memory as they once were. I may hear the same jokes I’ve heard before, the same stories I’ve already been told about this cousin or that things just weren’t like that in their day.
And, as I’m coming to get older, I’m finding a level of adaptation and a willingness to forgive those lapses. I’m telling myself that I have to be thankful that I can share in the many memories and the great times.
For instance: This year I bought myself a Brita water filter. I really like it, and feel very congratulatory for myself because I got it at a great 50% off sale price. At the same time, I bought some replacement filters – got those at a 40% off sale.
I liked it so much, I bought my parents one as well, but got them the better filter so they wouldn’t have to replace the filter so often. And they really seem to like it as well. They are down in Florida where the tap water is ~ uhm, chewy? ~ Yeah, we’ll go with that. They really like the filtered water. So, back to the whole memory thing….
Can someone remind me where I put my extra filters???
By the way: I’m 23 of 24 on the list. Never had a MySpace. How did you do?
If I were to ask 1000 people what they value the most in a partner, I would likely get near to 1000 similar answers, that would likely consist of variants of someone being a horny boy scout: Cleanliness, commitment, common sense, communication, compassion, confidence, consistency, courage, creativity, harmony…. You get my point.
If I were to ask the same questions of employees, I would get, again, similar answers.
We want to work for an employer who is creative, confident, inspiring, loyal and successful, among other attributes. Most of middle class workers want to be paid every payday, have a confidence that we will have a job the next week rather than living in fear of what is just around the corner, and know that our hard work is valued and appreciated.
But we have found that when we want a national leader, we find those staid truths boring. Carter was one of the smartest and kindest presidents we have ever had, but he was thrown over for someone who spoke well at celebrity shows and told good stories. That man went on to convince the country that if they only gave the rich man more money they would prosper by the scraps falling to them from on high. The die was cast: oratory skills of a story teller hold precedence over other attributes such as trustworthiness, competence and consistency. Somehow being bombastic and entertaining gained the highest priorities for way too many.
When I was going to school, I remember a dream of man that he was a warrior so that his son could live a life of peace and be a farmer, putting food on his table and raising his family in safety and security. And the farmer wanted his son to be a businessman so he didn’t have to live a life of broken hands and aching back.
And the businessman wanted his son to be a scholar and an artist so he could bring innovation, understanding and beauty to his world. This was to be the guide for man living a life of peace and confidence in the wonderful things that life could bring.
Some of my proudest moments in life were to see equality in marriage made fact, to see the government of the people begin to value the health of the country rather than just the martial stance of our army, and to see our youth feel free to be themselves no matter how that was expressed. Conversely, some of my saddest moments have come with the avowed destruction of those points of authenticity and growth of our people because some found it so profoundly threatening that they preferred fake entertainment, avarice and chaos. My enduring hope is that people want to be genuine, they want to be free, they want peace and security and a reality that does not change whenever the powers that be find it inconvenient.
Good Morning. Yesterday I ran head long into a problem I’ve been putting off. In fairness, we all weigh our priorities and sometimes put off one thing for another. Welcome to a busy life. The problem, of course, is that issue is still waiting resolution.
As happened yesterday, my forklift driver had let his area get messy. He was angry because the person who is to be doing the trash disposal hasn’t been doing very good. He has a point – one that he expressed quite loudly when I asked him to clean things up a bit. Yet, I came to appreciate that outburst.
I’m finding it difficult to get all the things I physically need to have hands-on to get done while at the same time going about and pushing people to do the things that they are supposed to do. I have a tendency to expect people to be adults, to do what they are supposed to do. And, while I don’t have a problem coming along behind and catching the occasional fallen task, I’ve come to see that I am spending too much on catching other’s fallen tasks and not enough on attending to my own.
My rough draft of this post began to talk about how the forklift driver had allowed his area to be so messy, then got angry when I asked him to tighten it up. I’ve had to re-examine this and realize that I’ve ALSO not been doing what is right. I’ve not been holding people to account well enough. I’ve allowed things to become a problem unresolved and stacking up.
The hard part about integrity is that there is always one person who is watching, or at least should be watching: that guy in the mirror. He is the only one we are accountable to, the only one we can’t fully evade, fully lie to, fully deny has the right to the truth – no matter how uncomfortable. Gotta tell you, that guy is a real pain in the ass.
Delegitimization: To remove the authority, the very veracity of a thing, an idea, a process or a person.
We saw it become more and more used as a word in the 1990’s, raising to a regularly seen word in the modern era.
The idea of a politician lying to the people is as axiomatic and expected as to be enfolded within the very image of the word “politician”. The sad part is not the lie, it is the full purchase of the lie by those who prefer the lie to the reality that they might be wrong.
Nonetheless, the very invention of the modern internet created an unexpected leveling of information sources where the respected scientists and journalists somehow were delegitimized to become equal footing with the internet troll and conspiracy theorist.
My grandfather used the term “talking out both sides of your mouth”. Certain “news” pundits used the politicization of reality to unashamedly become very rich. They sold themselves and whatever morals they once held for this idea that the public doesn’t have the right nor the need for the actual truth.
From a very good 2018 article in the BBC: https://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-trending-42724320In the future, the term “fake news” might come to be seen as a relic of febrile 2017 (if we’re lucky). But the fight against misinformation won’t go away. Companies and governments are now starting to take concrete action… Google and Facebook have both said that they are going to be hiring a lot of people to review content and enforce their terms of service…” we have instead seen Zuckerberg first accused by the republicans of violation of the 1st Amendment only to then bend the knee to Trump, and the purchase of Twitter by Elon Musk to remove such standards and accuracy oversights. We witnessed live the overthrow of journalistic integrity by the very people journalists are meant to hold accountable.
Musk went on to purchase both president trump outright and the “mandate” to purge the government similar to his destruction of Twitter all the while publicly declaring fascism alive and well.
In the midst of this, we have seen the republicans refuse to allow evidence that trump attempted to bribe a desperate foreign head of state to implicate Joe Biden in a conspiracy of fraud, only to then fire and oust the people who did their job in reporting that problem to the government.
The very same republicans who were once cowering under their chairs as the Jan.6th insurrectionists smashed their way in an attempt to keep trump in power and hang Mike Pence, again – if a bit late – for doing his job. They later called it a “tour”, then cheered when the very person responsible for their crimes came back into power and pardoned each and every one of them.
And refused to do their jobs when it was found that trump had stolen boxes upon boxes of national secrets.
Trump violated the law and was – shockingly – expected to account for his actions, garnering sexual abuse convictions, fraud convictions, rico election fraud accusations… and they were ignored. The government employees charged with the thankless task of holding a president to the very laws of the country he once headed were fired, ostracized, threatened. The supreme court was packed with the questionable… yeah, we’ll leave it at that. The Justice Department was put into the hands of his former personal attorney, the one who was refusing to allow him to be held accountable for his crimes, foregoing the very notion that the Justice Department is the “People’s Attorney”.
I’m absolutely out of breath! I’m no where near a complete description and I’m out of breath. I can only wonder if there will ever be a history book describing this, or if we are witnessing the final acts in the decimation of the education of our youth and the idea of facts, reality, justice. What will be left that made America what it is? The Constitution? Already disrespected. The People? They are cowed into hysterical sycophantic abasement on the one hand and bewildered incredulity on the other. I just don’t know what is left and I seriously question what will we become now.
Coulrophobia (COOl-ruh-FOE-bee-uh) is a fear (phobia) of clowns. Children and adults who fear clowns may experience extreme reactions when they see clowns in person or view pictures or videos of clowns. Someone with a fear of clowns is coulrophobic.
When I was young, my great thrill was Hellraiser. I didn’t understand the movie at all, I was too young to get the points, but the images were mindboggling frightening even though I knew they were fake movie magic. But in my mind they could be real, and that was all that mattered. I put away my incredulity for the thrill of the emotion.
Like many people, it wasn’t that I was afraid so much, but that I wasn’t! I was thrilled, scared, laughing that I survived it like a near miss from a speeding bus and I wanted to feel that thrill again. I wanted my friends to know how brave I was, how I could look into the face of destruction and laugh.
In point of fact, it was actually a movie by Michael Keaton that I found the most frightening thing I’ve ever watched as a movie. Pacific Heights was horror show for me as it showed a nice couple building a home and renting out apartments, only for one man to come along with a plan of greed, terrorism and theft seeking to steal what they worked so hard to make.
He seemed like a straight forward person, if a somewhat intense and a bit strange individual. There were no drooling fangs or chainsaws, and that violation of what seems safe frightened me more than I can say. It was realistic. It was very very possible. And worse, the homeowner’s destruction came at their own actions. Here I am in my later 50’s and it still bothers me. I won’t watch the movie again.
In the same way I found such fear in Michael Keaton’s character in Pacific Heights, the fear of clowns stems from the unpredictable nature they represent. Their image says one thing, their actions say another, but somewhere inside exists a nature that makes no sense. Are they a sad clown, a happy clown, a juggler? You just never know until a comically oversized cleaver guts you and he plays with your innards. Too dark? They laugh at your surprise, they mock your confusion, they change reality on a whim and you never know if they are lying or not.
It is that element of unpredictability that frightens many of us while emboldening others like a rollercoaster ride of “what if”.
I have made it into my 50’s without the fear of clowns, but that has changed. I don’t know what the clowns will do. Will it simply be uncomfortable, embarassing, or physically and financially devastating.
No matter how popular the clown is, he is still a clown. But, we have lost the ability to fear the unknown because the clown told us we were the smart ones. We lost the ability to fear the results of thrill seeking because the clown told us the people who warn us about it were fake. We don’t care about the truth because the truth isn’t near as fun as the power the lies give us. Us? Who is the “us”?
It is my belief and opinion that this latest group of clowns are seeking to pillage the money from the taxpayers and destroy the services the government provides the middle and lower class citizens. For anecdotal proof I offer Louis DeJoy, the postmaster Trump emplaced who set out to ruin the post office by publicly destroying the irreplaceable sorting machines, underpaying the workers and refusing to fill vacant needed positions, only to have the Republicans in Congress question him on why he can’t run the post office efficiently and speculate it should be abolished. These people worship power as their god and crave money as their drug, they think long-term gains and have no compunctions on who they hurt to take what they want. Many of Trump’s first acts have been to remove the inspector generals, to emplace the easily manipulated and underqualified, line edit off the constitution and flaunt the rule of law while the fools cheer.
Hugs All. Randy
Here’s the latest on key Trump picks to join his administration care of The Hill:
Confirmed
Secretary of State: Marco Rubio
The Senate unanimously confirmed former Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) as America’s 72nd secretary of State.
The vote came in on Trump’s inauguration day, cementing the first member of the president’s Cabinet just as he assumed office.
Rubio’s seat in the Senate will be filled by Florida Attorney General Ashley Moody.
CIA Director: John Ratcliffe
John Ratcliffe, Trump’s former director of national intelligence, will lead the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) in his second term.
After a largely cordial hearing, the Senate Intelligence Committee advanced his nomination with a 14-3 vote. The full chamber confirmed him 74-25, as 21 members who caucus with Democrats voted alongside every present Republican.
After Rubio, Ratcliffe’s confirmation puts half of Trump’s national security team in place in his first week in office.
That sets up a likely Friday evening final confirmation vote.
Republican Sens. Lisa Murkowski (Alaska) and Susan Collins (Maine) voted against Hegseth.
Hegseth was the first of Trump’s Cabinet picks to appear before a Senate committee in the week ahead of his inauguration. The former Fox News host has been one of the president’s most controversial choices, drawing sharp criticism from Democrats over his qualifications, views on women in combat and allegations of infidelity and excessive drinking, which he denies.
Homeland Security secretary: Kristi Noem
South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem (R), Trump’s pick to lead the Department of Homeland Security, went before senators last week after an initial delay to her hearing.
Noem has been vocal about immigration and border issues, though the Mount Rushmore State is far from the U.S-Mexico line. She was floated as a possible running mate for Trump before a controversial anecdote from her memoir appeared to dull her chances.
The Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee on Monday advanced Noem by a largely bipartisan 13-2 vote. Senate Republicans hoped to confirm her the week of Trump’s inauguration, and a cloture vote is expected Friday evening.
Office of Management and Budget director: Russel Vought
Russell Vought is on track to be Trump’s next director of the Office of Management and Budget, reprising first-term role.
Democrats grilled Vought during in two hearings about his ties to Project 2025, the conservative Heritage Foundation’s blueprint for a second Trump term.
The Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee voted 8-7 on Monday to advance the would-be budget chief. He also went before the Senate Budget Committee on Wednesday.
Treasury secretary: Scott Bessent
Scott Bessent, the billionaire founder and CEO of hedge fund Key Square Group, is Trump’s nominee to lead the Treasury, overseeing U.S. financial security.
The Senate Finance Committee voted 16-11 on Tuesday to advance Bessent, teeing up a floor vote. Sens. Mark Warner (D-Va.) and Maggie Hassan (D-N.H.) notably bucked party lines to join Republicans in backing the nomination.
Bessent would be the first openly LGBTQ Cabinet member confirmed by the Senate under a Republican president.
Attorney General: Pam Bondi
Pam Bondi, Florida’s former attorney general, is Trump’s second choice to lead the Department of Justice after his initial pick, former Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.) withdrew from consideration amid controversy.
Bondi was a senior adviser on the defense team for Trump’s first impeachment and has backed Trump’s false claims of widespread fraud in the 2020 election.
She appeared last week before the Senate Judiciary Committee, where she was grilled by Democrats over Trump’s potential influence over a Bondi-led DOJ. A committee meeting to advance her nomination initially slated for Wednesday has been postponed.
Interior secretary: Doug Burgum
The Senate’s Energy and Natural Resources Committee advanced Doug Burgum (R) by an 18-2 vote, putting the former North Dakota governor on track to lead the Interior Department.
Burgum, who ran against Trump for the Republican presidential nomination in 2024, faced Democratic questions about the new administration’s controversial climate stances, though the hearing was largely cordial.
If confirmed to the post, Burgum would also be in charge of Trump’s new “Council of National Energy.”
Transportation secretary: Sean Duffy
Former Wisconsin congressman Sean Duffy, who would oversee national transportation systems and infrastructure as Transportation Secretary, was unanimously advanced by his Senate panel.
He told the Senate Commerce, Science and Transportation committee that, if confirmed, he’d dig into issues around Boeing and buck pressure to interfere with Tesla – the company helmed by top Trump ally Elon Musk.
Housing and Urban Development secretary: Scott Turner
An alum of Trump’s first administration, Scott Turner was previously executive director of the White House Opportunity and Revitalization Council. For the president’s second term, he’s been tapped to lead the Department of Housing and Urban Development.
The former NFL player appeared last week before the Senate Banking, Housing and Urban Affairs Committee, and was advancedwith a 13-11 vote.
Energy secretary: Chris Wright
Chris Wright, the founder and CEO of Liberty Energy, is Trump’s controversial pick to lead the Energy Department amid Trump’s pledges to “drill, baby, drill” and roll back environmental regulations.
The Senate’s Energy and Natural Resources Committee voted 15-5 to advance him on Thursday.
If confirmed to the post, Wright will also serve on a newly formed “Council of National Energy” led by Burgum.
EPA director: Lee Zeldin
Former New York Rep. Lee Zeldin (R) went before the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee last week in his effort to lead the Environmental Protection Agency, and he advanced in an 11-8 vote on Thursday.
Sen. Mark Kelly (D-Ariz.) was the only Democrat voting in favor of moving Zeldin forward.
In nominating Zeldin, the president promised that his pick will “ensure fair and swift deregulatory decisions that will be enacted in a way to unleash the power of American businesses, while at the same time maintaining the highest environmental standards.”
United Nations ambassador: Elise Stefanik
Trump’s pick to represent the U.S. in the United Nations is Elise Stefanik, an outspoken Trump ally and defender of Israel who went before senators in the Foreign Relations Committee on Tuesday.
Senate Democrats appeared ahead of the hearing to be warming up to the nominee despite concerns about how the new administration views the international organization, after Trump moved on Day One to withdraw the U.S. from the World Health Organization and the Paris Climate agreement.
Veterans Affairs secretary: Doug Collins
Former Rep. Doug Collins (R-Ga.) is Trump’s choice to lead the Department of Veterans Affairs, overseeing the body tasked with providing health care and other benefits to former members of the military.
The Senate Committee on Veterans’ Affairs advanced him by an 18-1 vote, with the lone dissent coming from Sen. Mazie Hirono (D-Hawaii).
Agriculture secretary: Brooke Rollins
Brooke Rollins, a former White House aide in Trump’s first administration, is set to appear Thursday before the Senate Committee on Agriculture, Nutrition and Forestry.
Health and Human Services secretary: RFK Jr.
Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who ran an independent bid for president in 2024 before endorsing Trump, is on tap to helm the Health and Human Services Department.
A hearing before the Senate Finance Committee was scheduled for Wednesday, Jan. 29, and an appearance before the Health, Education, Labor and Pensions Committee on Thursday, Jan. 30.
Director of National Intelligence: Tulsi Gabbard
Former Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (Hawaii) is Trump’s controversial pick to lead the U.S. intelligence community, and her process through the Senate has faced delays after Democrats said they didn’t have the full slate of background checks and other paperwork needed to move forward.
The former Democrat’s path to confirmation could be in trouble over her past support for Edward Snowden, a meeting with now-deposed Syrian leader Bashar al-Assad and other controversial comments about Ukraine and Russia.
A hearing before the Senate Intelligence Committee was scheduled for Thursday, Jan. 30.
Commerce Secretary: Howard Lutnick
Howard Lutnick, chair and CEO of Cantor Fitzgerald, is Trump’s pick for Commerce Secretary. Lutnick’s hearing was also reportedly held up my paperwork delays, but he’s set to appear before the Senate Commerce, Science and Transportation Committee on Wednesday, Jan. 29.
SBA: Kelly Loeffler
Former Sen. Kelly Loeffler (R-Ga.) would serve as administrator of Trump’s second-term Small Business Administration. She was previously rumored to be Trump’s pick for secretary of Agriculture before the role went to Rollins.
Loeffler was scheduled to appear before the Senate Small Business and Leadership Committee on Wednesday, Jan. 29.
Nominated/nothing scheduled yet
Education Secretary: Linda McMahon
Linda McMahon led the Small Business Administration during Trump’s first term, and she’s his pick for Education secretary in his second tenure. She’s chair of the board at America First Policy Institute, a pro-Trump think tank, and served on his transition team. Politico reported earlier this month that McMahon’s hearing was waiting on paperwork delays.
Labor Secretary: Lori Chavez-DeRemer
Former Rep. Lori Chavez-DeRemer (R-Ore.), who flipped her Oregon district in the midterms but lost reelection in November, is Trump’s pick to lead the Labor Department. Her nomination was taken by some as a signal that Trump’s second administration could have a more receptive stance to unions.
Trade Rep: Jamieson Greer
Jamieson Greer, an aide in the trade office during Trump’s first term, has been nominated as U.S. trade representative. The president has said Greer “played a key role” with tariffs and other moves in his first term.
I saw this pic and it made me laugh. I needed to. Tomorrow my disbelief, my anger, my arguing and bargaining all come to an end and I have no choice but to accept reality, no matter how surreal, and move on. I have suspicions what these next four years will bring, but nothing will surprise me. Ok, I take that back: I will be blown away if the middle class gets a tax break and the top 10% get a tax hike; I will be floored if minorities and the lgbtq are lifted as persons deserving respect and the extremists told to grow up; I will be gobsmacked if the very powerful are forced to concede that the laws apply to them as well as the little people; and I will be outright shocked into immobility if we end this four years with less of a debt than we started. Something tells me I’m not in risk of any of this.
When Trump was elected in his first term, I felt like it was an unknown going against a very unpopular candidate. I knew there were going to be problems, but we would weather through because we had a government that was more than one person. We would survive. We would self-correct and continue down the road just fine. I don’t believe we will be just fine. I believe this is the Bell That Tolls, and we will not simply self correct out of this.
Interesting that in the publication of the 2025 Manifesto, and in the selection of his political nominees, the serious and the well rounded experienced people were, well, not chosen. I kept waiting for trump to laugh in our face and say “psych! Gotcha!!”. Still waiting.
In the short time since fox news has come into popularity, the idea of “fair and balanced” was made a mochery, reality was thrown out the window. They did it for power, for money, they did it because people wanted to believe them.
But, no arguing with success. I don’t believe any of them now. I don’t believe the news shows would tell me the truth if they could.
And no matter how many times you tell them they are being lied to, the so called American Public does enjoy being peed on. Me personally, I’m tired. I’m tired of being lied to and manipulated, and I’m tired of telling folks something they don’t want to believe, don’t want to know. Let’s face it, in this land of internet and free libraries, being undereducated is a life choice.
I guess my only point here is to say “be careful what you ask for…”. Every day before, during and after this election we were shown who he is, but some wanted the snake oil he was selling. They wanted to be strong and virile, so they voted in a cantakerous fat old man? They wanted the truth, so brought back a liar. We wanted prosperity, we got a conman.
And, this pic says it all. Let’s face it, I don’t have deep thoughts. Tomorrow begins a new day in America and in the world. Hugs. Randy
Hello All. I don’t know how this will come across, so forgive me for doing a bit of navel gazing. I thought giving a bit of voice to something I really really don’t want to talk about may help. Or, at least it may help someone else. Who knows.
What people don’t always understand is that I find it very difficult to talk about this, and forced to, I feel even worse and find myself with even darker thoughts. Nonetheless, it seems right to try.
See, when you tell people you are dealing with depression, they try to give you advice, tell you to snap out of it, some begin to smother you – or at least it feels that way. Frankly, it’s a psychophysiological issue, and there are no easy answers, no easy solutions.
Most doctors don’t understand depression any better than their patients. They either want to overmedicate or ignore.
Most people dealing with depression try to self medicate. Alcohol, drugs, impotent rage at the smallest things. Me – it’s eating my feelings and hiding away in the house away from my overwhelming problems that others likely see as immaterial issues.
I’m still working every day, but I don’t want to go in. I want to stay home. I don’t want to deal with the problems at work because they are seemingly insurmountable. Heat not working. Machines not working. Employees not working. My truck isn’t working. And my dryer is shrinking my clothes… ok, that might be the Little Debbies. Messed up thing is, if I stay home I’m alone with things that aren’t working here at home and someone needs to clean the kitchen! So, going in to work is actually relieving after a while.
One of the things that surprises people is just how many of us live with depression. Just how many go to work, feed the kids, fill the gas tank and go through their normal day dying inside. I had to tell my boss on Thursday that I was not doing well with his – what feels like – pummeling me with criticism and ‘why didn’t you’s’. No one is perfect, and even though I tried to make the right decisions – well, I could only handle so many things even though I knew I was letting him down even while I was killing myself trying to be everywhere and handle everything.
Does he know that I am forced to handle imperative things that others are assigned but fail to do or that no matter what I do there are so many things yet to do? Does he know that I am working late just to get things done when no one is in the way? Does he know that I’m tired but can’t sleep no matter how exhausted I am? Does he know that I’m whining to you rather than cleaning my kitchen?
The odd thing is that I don’t know whether to feel better that I’m not alone or feel worse that so many of us have to deal with this shit. And, that’s the point, isn’t it. So many of us deal with this it’s just called “being an adult in America”. I wanted unicorns and rainbows, and like everyone else I more often just get bull-shit and rained on. (sigh!) Adulthood sucks. So, be kind to those you meet, for they are likely going through their own battles.
And, for those of you out there that are, well – just another adult in America, hang on. Keep going. I’ve heard the sun comes out, tomorrow.
It’s as sad of a thing to realize about myself as anything, a real disappointment, but I really didn’t care about that CEO of the Insurance Company that got murdered. I mean, I did – but wow!, we have been so benumbed by things happening, I just couldn’t be all that shocked. According to Fox News, I am to be ashamed for that. I know, go figure…
These same people who sent thoughts and prayers, yes both!, to the parents of the children in Ulvade, Texas and other places where guns were used to kill the innocent, tell me I’ve got to feel great compassion and be sad as someone who has profited off the death and destruction of so many lives and the fleecing of the willing and unwilling for billions of dollars. These people who have demanded the rights of gun owners everywhere and have told me so many times that the gun is not the problem, it is the user – but we can’t limit those users – now shed those crocodile tears when one of their patron saints to avarice is shot. Add to that, I’ve recently read that these C-level white shirts are increasing their personal protection bodyguards and, of course, that is a business expense that will be passed on to the customer. Of course.
Like most people, I carry various insurance – health, home, car, life. Not because I want to, but because I feel like I have to. And, that cost goes up, constantly. Unlike almost every other First and Second World Country, we in America – especially for the lower and middle income people, spend a horrible percentage of our money on the hope that we never have to use it, because if we did need to use it and it wasn’t there, it would financially ruin us. But, to actually use the health care insurance we pay so much for incurs costs in copays and deductibles that are difficult to afford. The irony of modern health care is that we are still using parasitic leaches and blood letting, they just wear suits now.
The second irony of America is that although this information is nothing new, we are still forced to use this model. Why? Because it is in the interest of the rich and powerful to maintain a status quo where they use the deck they’ve already marked to control the game. It is in the financial interest of the rich and powerful to not allow growth in this country. But, no worries, come to find out it is all to be blamed on the immigrant and the homosexual.
Scottie's Playtime 