Conversation Starter: How Can We Be the Light for Others?

Perhaps a silver lining in this day of hate and corruption masquerading as patriotism is the crashing realization that one day we will leave this world. Many will stumble upon a very uncomfortable discovery that their friends and neighbors would not be so very sad to see them go.

I write this today having found out that my neighbor passed away last night. She was one of those people who very acerbically met life on her own terms: loud, bitching about seeming everything, but loving anyone in need and being one of the funniest people I’ve every met – if unintentionally. And, further, she liked my dog and my dog liked her, so –

I recently had the opportunity to watch some of the interview/debate of Neil DeGrasse Tyson on Ben Shapiro’s show. Ben was really trying to push this idea that Neil could speak on the science of transsexuals’ gender, etc. One of the greatest things I took from that was Neil asking him what he was really attempting to accomplish with his banging of the gong? ‘We supposedly live in a free country. No one is obliged to be more masculine or more feminine for you, and they have no right to ask it of you’, he said.

That one line from Neil completely changed how I heard the interview. I realized that Ben spoke with a quickness and decisiveness that projected strength to those who are desperate to hear it – but was really a desperation to control something that wasn’t his to control. I found myself asking Neil’s questions of Ben, and others who seem intent to dictate how people live, how people love. What drives this desperation to dominate others? What is in that morning mirror that scares people so that the only way they can manage is to be sure others meet their rules and expectations rather than find their own?

When I think on those people like Ben Shapiro, Donald Trump, Marjory Taylor Green, Mike Lindell, Rudy Giuliani, Jeff Sessions, their lives are often filled with beautiful arm candy, money, and a dark heart that destroys them in time. Like a poison they’ve taken in, living a life of hate and corruption seems for them like a recipe for eventual disaster. But, like moths to a flame, repeatedly do these people line up to destroy their peace, their credibility, their future until only regret and hate visit them.

As a country, we lost something special and unique when Donald Trump became more than just a spectator and buyer of the political tragedy. Somehow ignorance became a virtue, and being loud meant you were right. Intelligent conversation and caring about others became synonymous with communism, or whatever the boogieman is now. Somehow we in America are supposed to despise the poor and glorify the wealthy, told it is the height of patriotism. We lost our light, and now it seems we can only find our path by blindly swinging at those stuck with us in this morass.

-randy

Conversation Starter: Is the very beauty of what is to come ruined by man?

I recently had a somewhat uncomfortable conversation with my Dad. At 88-years old, he is understandably considering what comes next, and knowing that I’m a ‘blowhard democrat and therefore think I know everything‘, lol, he made it part of my own considerations – at least out loud. But, as we talked, I began to realize that how we look at “what comes next” truly inspires how we view this thing called life, what we value and hold dear.

When I was much younger, I had the opportunity to read Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach. I think I’d like to read it again. It was a story that had a great impact on a young troubled life, and while I am sure I didn’t get nearly as much from the book as was offered, I still carry some of that book within my thoughts nearly 35 years later. Chief among those ringing ideas was the consideration that we are on this world to be excellent, to fly free and powerfully, to be our best selves. It is an idea that gives me hope and conviction on the same blade, for I’ve not made much of myself. What I have done, perhaps better late than never, is I’ve begun to understand what is important to me and I’ve tried to adjust my life accordingly.

During my studies of different religions, I found a great deal of beauty. It is probably shocking to some, but Muslims have a beautiful religion filled with dedication to their God, peace and humility. I recently heard a person of influence, a politician, say publicly that he “hated the Muslim religion”. I thought that was tragic. He has painted a billion people with a the same brush and feels fully justified in his self-righteous hate. His words did not influence me to hate Muslims, they only brought me sadness. Here is a man who hopes to profit by hate, and I can only imagine what those wages bring.

Over the years, I’ve come to find a lot of hope in the Christian Faith, but I don’t find myself deluded into thinking that the Bible is definitive or that the Pulpit is infallible. Clearly humans have left their mark on both, and both have gained their insecurities and foibles. Unfortunately, most religions are marked by the greedy and deluded powerful who are sure that they know what is best for everyone and damned be those who disagree. As a result, parishioners lose their search for what is beautiful and magnificent in whatever may come next. They instead follow a set of rules, a kind of club, a group identity. They have given up on God and hope only to please the pastor and Sister Bertha Betterthanyou. They have forsaken courage to seek for the safety of the flock.

Perhaps this is just what we are. How many of us are caught in this idea that by hating someone else, we are somehow doing as God would want? I would be very curious to ask them what they value, and then would I be so brave to ask how their spoken values reflect their current words. Do they value freedom, or just their own freedom? Do they value love, or only for those like them? Do they value hope, but do performative acts some man told them would get them into Heaven? Do they seek or are they comfortable in being told what to think, what to feel, what to do? Do they look for what comes next or are they seeking identity and safety in a church, a political movement, in the acceptance of someone seeking to control them?

I don’t know what I would tell Dad if he asked me again. I don’t think the answer is in religion, any religion. I do think there is something that comes next, what I would loosely if respectfully refer to as God, and if I could quote Ghandi I’d say that God is not restricted by any single religion. I want to believe that this beautiful thing called life doesn’t end. I want to believe in Love. I want to rest in Hope. I want to live a life absolutely riddled with awe at how fabulous humanity can be, rather than live a life of judgement and insecurity. And, when I regard my final days I hope I am looking forward with eager anticipation for all the wonders I will experience.

-Randy

Someone I get some news from while I do housework

Hi All. I’d like to introduce you to a youtuber that I listen to when doing housework and such. I almost feel like there is someone sitting in my dining-room talking to me as I work. Ironic that this posting is talking about a “post-literate United States”. Well, here we go, I hope you will like this poster and subscribe. Thanks.

Peddling Hate

I’ve heard a number of commentators and politicians over the years. One of the striking things that rings in my ears is how some are interested in caring for others while others are interested in excusing the abuse of others; some are interested in caring for the hungry while others are bewailing the “cost” of feeding their neighbors; some are interested in the healthcare needs of our people and others are interested in the tax reductions of the uber-wealthy. I don’t know the political right or wrong of things, but I sure know what I value.

Choose Love.

-randy

Conversation Starter: The Tragedy of Faith over Hope.

I have sorrowed in confusion and anger watching those who profess themselves to be Christian and speaking with those who say that they love God confidently support the very worst in humanity. I have impotently stood by as those who say they are Saved celebrated the wonton destruction of life, of home, of health, of community and future suffered by those whom the ravagers declare lacking. It has been a shattering of my Faith to see those tragedies encouraged, applauded and justified by the very same who share a pew and who stand behind a pulpit.

In the last decade and more, we have all found ourselves faced with the loud declarations of pastors and congregants who believe themselves wise attacking the struggling, the different, the ‘stranger’ and believing themselves righteous in their condemnation. It has been difficult for me to hold to love for those being so inhumane, especially for family and friends of whom we thought better.

I was taught better than to do that in my Church, in my Sunday School and in my Confirmation Classes. I was told that was just who were meant to be. I wanted to believe it. The Reality of my life hurt and I needed to believe that there was some-thing, some-where better. I needed to know that the failures in my life, the struggles in my heart and in my mind, were not my definition, my destruction. I was failing in Faith because of my own limitations and realities, but I held onto Hope. I held onto that Hope that Something Better would come.

Hope is a difficult word. Prisoners hold onto hope that Freedom will come. The Sick hold onto hope that a cure will be discovered. The Hungry hope in Finding their needs met. The Hurt and Abused hold onto hope that someone will come to save them. Hope holds out a hand, praying that someone will come to be with them and believe they are worthy of life, of love. Hope looks into the mirror and begs for a better existence, strives for a better life, makes better choices and dreams of better days.

In my adult years, I’ve heard the church talk not about Hope but about Faith. Faith is described as the assurance that all has been done, the Price has been paid, the Contract is signed and no more needs to be done. I’ve heard the church talk about being justified by Christ, that sins are washed clean, and yet at the same time I hear that same church talk about the filthy, the sinful, the unworthy. In short, they claim forgiveness due to their faith and judge others for their sin. Such “faith” has brought them arrogance, impudence and presumption that calling themselves “christian” and sitting in a pew on Sunday justifies ugliness and hate.

I believe. I want to believe. I want that “unbudging” Faith that allows me to stand before the mirror, maybe one day before God. But, part of that faith was imparted to me by the church, one that willingly stands in judgement for the destruction of those who don’t love the same, live the same, believe the same. It holds a congregation of those who would condemn, deny, celebrate the pain their greed engenders. And so, my Faith is broken. I hold onto Hope.

-randy

I hear Monday is bringing the HEAT!

Good Luck, Everyone!

Randy

Conversation Starter: MAGA Responses Similar to Domestic Violence

I recently watched a fantastic TED video, and I really do invite everyone to watch. It’s about 20 minutes and is here: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBnocNg69o4). In this TedTalk, Miles Taylor talks about how he went to Washington DC as a young page to dedicate his life to never allowing another 9-11 type event. Then came Trump, and his simple opposition to trump’s policies and procedures garnered trump accusing him of being a traitor, death threats to him, his wife, his baby daughter. As I watched this, I thought about my own concerns and experiences including the near violent responses I’ve heard from otherwise decent people who couldn’t respond with decency when defending trump. Says it all, doesn’t it?

But, it got me to ask a simple question to Google, and I was really surpised by the answer. I asked: are maga responses to criticism similar to domestic abuse?

It became clear that I am not the only one to see the uncomfortable parallel. The following is the copy/paste answer Google offered:

Psychological and political experts, as well as abuse survivors, have drawn notable parallels between the defensive communication tactics used by the MAGA movement and the behavior patterns of domestic abusers. Both rely on emotional manipulation and coercive control to maintain power and invalidate critics.

These parallels include tactics such as:

Gaslighting: Denying established facts or public statements, making followers and the public question their own memory or sanity.
DARVO (Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender): When criticized, the immediate response is to deny the allegation, attack the critic’s credibility, and claim that the MAGA figure or movement is actually the victim.
Isolation: Portraying mainstream media, political opponents, and dissenters as corrupt or enemies, actively encouraging followers to cut off alternative perspectives and only trust the movement.
Minimizing and Dismissing: Downplaying the severity of concerning behavior—or even downplaying physical and sexual abuse allegations as mere “allegations” or “smears”.
Projection: Accusing critics or the opposition of the exact wrongdoing or corruption that they themselves are currently facing.

I’ve realized that I remain quiet in response to people ranting about their great and wise leader’s latest spite-filled fact-barren public embarrassment. In truth, I’m not terribly concerned about being the victim of violence, but do I really want the aggravation? I’ve realized, much to my embarrassment, that I’ve become another one of the silent majority; those who would not accept violence and abuse but only speak up in a safe environment. And, as Miles Taylor mentioned, it is the silent majority that make the abuse possible.

Is this cowardice? Is this simple self-preservation? Or, have I just become accustomed to the abusive caustic environment that the rise of trump has brought to our country? I’d like to say it is the latter, but damn. This is our reality now, but is that how I want to live? Is that even healthy?

I’ve come to realize that we are in a toxic relationship with those we love: our fellow countrymen. And, while some would say this is ridiculous, here are some questions that I’ve found to indicate one is in such a dangerous place:
Sometimes feel scared of how your partner may behave?
Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behavior?
Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?
Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up?
What the hell has happened to us?!

What is worse is that due to the unhinged response we receive when we attempt to ask questions and hope for better, the defensiveness of his followers shut it down. The result is that this clown can do any illegal act and any restraint is met with calls for violence and abuse. Further, abusers abuse so that they can continue to abuse — meaning — having the power to abuse is not going to be willingly given up.

This Country has had problems from the beginning, fighting amongst ourselves and outright abusing people on the shores of our great nation. But we have always had the hope of moving toward a more perfect union. I don’t feel that anymore. I find myself feeling the destruction of deeply held ideals, like the Primacy of the Constitution and the idea that No One Is Above The Law. Am I just being naïve? Is this how Medgar Evers felt? Is this how Sitting Bull felt? I don’t know, but I do not feel that expectation of something better to come anymore. I feel like once abuse has become acceptable in this union, once those diseased claws have sunk into the marrow….

Conversation Starter: Scottie’s pic

Scottie posted this meme yesterday and it prompted a further exploration than seemed easy in his list of images.

I think I’m going to shock some people here, maybe even get someone mad at me at this writing. I have to tell you all, I’m kinda a shy person. So, I’m not comfortable with some strange transgender person staring at my pecker when I pee.

I’m really just not comfortable with that. But, you know, I’m not comfortable with a strange man staring at my pecker when I’m trying to pee either. Nor am I comfortable with a strange woman staring at my pecker. In fact, I don’t flaunt my pecker about when I pee. And, I feel somehow disenfranchised because I don’t find the bathroom a place to flaunt my privates, yet the way some on the right talk about it there must be things going on in there that I’m not contributing to or enjoying. What am I doing different than those who are worried about this happening?

Some may also find this startling, but I heard that this person was found in the women’s bathroom. Many accused homophobes feel that people should not “pretend” to be a woman for the sole purpose of going into the women’s bathroom.

And, some uptight karens would say that the prevalence of this very person in a women’s bathroom is indicative of just how far things have come that “she” would feel comfortable going into a women’s bath. They say we should be shocked and outraged at Sports Illustrated for publishing these pictures.

And others would be wise to tell you that this is ILONA MAHER, a phenomenal women’s rugby star and arguably the best in the world. I would tell you that she is very strong, very aggressive, and very beautiful, and I would tell you that hassling Ms. Maher is surely contraindicated for a long life.

The uncomfortable facts are that sexual assaults perpetrated by trans people is extremely low. And, let’s consider just for a moment the great deal of bother a person needs to go through to transgender, and there are those who think it’s so they can go look at girls?! Further, the uncomfortable fact remains that 85%-90% of all sexual assaults are perpetrated by someone known by the victim — ie: not strangers, and often they are family members or close family friends and DO NOT happen in a public bathroom. And finally, a great many lgbtq folks actively avoid bathrooms, no matter how desperately they need relief, because they are all too often the victim of assault by other bathroom goers.

Personally, I’m not going into the bathroom to make friends, to admire others or to find comparisons to determine where I fall in the pissing contest of reactionary karens. I don’t care. We are all human, and like the kid’s book says, we all gotta poop.

Randy

Conversation Starter: Property Taxes and the GOP

Hello Everyone. One of the things that I’ve struggled with over the years of doing various posts here and elsewhere is that I, quite frankly, am not an expert on anything. This makes me very self-conscious about my posting because I feel like I’m misleading people into making mistakes in their own thoughts and arguments. So, I’m going to try this new approach of calling my posts “conversation starter” with the hope that if I am wrong, or by shock and chance hit the mark a bit, readers can feel free to add opinion or correct me.

Any of us may be wrong by a long stretch or just a little bit, and I think we hold our opinions for fear of being made to look foolish or naïve. I would like to preface this with the reminder that these are my opinions, and much like assholes…., yeah. So… here goes.

One of the current position points for the GOP, and I’ve seen this especially in Indiana, Ohio and Florida, is the idea that property taxes are an unfair burden upon property owners (https://auditor.bcohio.gov/news_detail_T2_R36.php). I’ve heard them use the analogy that it is paramount to buying a meal from the resturant, paying for the meal, and then being required to return yearly to pay more for that original meal purchase.
The human mind is going to immediately gravitate to the idea that the removal of a tax is a good thing. This, of course, is the MAGA and GOP mode of operations: appeal to the unthinking and immature mental reflex of their base towards their own ends.
What the less wealthy MAGA likely hasn’t done, is recognize that this turns a tax burden upon the less wealthy, again. Here is my thinking:

If a wealthy person buys land, say, measuring 100 acres for his own home. Conceivably, a similar 100 acres would house 300-400 middle-class homes, or more if we consider apartments. In a simple math, because I know it doesn’t quite work this way but give me some latitude here, those two 100-acre portions of land would pay give-or-take the same tax. That means, by my simple measure, one family is paying the same tax as 300-400. Now, that doesn’t really seem very fair, and so the GOP/MAGA support the end of that tax.
But, as we all know, the bills never stop. The money for roads, schools, parks, police and fire, etc., has to come from somewhere. A great deal of that comes from property tax. If it doesn’t come from the property tax, where will it come from? I would guess an increase in sales taxes, gas taxes, payroll state taxes. In this case, now the food, gas, entertainment, police and fire and whatever else, is going to be payed by that 3-400 middle-class families at a similar rate as the 1-wealthy family — meaning the tax burden has shifted to the middle-class families. Further, the wealthy person is going to have an even better financial position, which he will likely use to buy more land.

Ok, this is my opinion. What do you think??

Randy

Felt lost in my own home!

Humans have questioned “Who Am I” as far back in our history as we first discovered we had a navel and could gaze upon it. Since then, the philosophers and prognosticators and teen-agers everywhere have come to one and only one conclusion:

Do define myself by my relationships? By my likes and dislikes? By the number of followers I have on TikTok (don’t even have an account)? By my past? Future? Hopes? Fears? By my employment? By my religion?

The past couple of months I have found myself adrift in a very strange place: one without my computer. It was crashing like a lead-footed blind man at Daytona! I thought it was a virus, then maybe a windows update snafu, then maybe a windows defender snafu (windows has a lot of snafu’s). I thought maybe I had a adblock issue, then a competing issue with my security software. I couldn’t go on line at all or the computer would crash. I struggled with it for a couple of months until I finally gave up and did a full factory image wipe. And, let’s be clear, I’m not Scottie. When I do a wipe I may as well have taken a sledgehammer to it because whatever that computer was is gone.

There went my favorite websites. My ways of spending time not working – even when I should have been working – were gone. I mean, who remembers all their passwords!?! I’ve got sites I’ve been going to for years that I put on a ridiculous password and saved it on the computer to never bother remembering it again. And they were all gone. I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do with my time now! I can’t tell you how stressful this was, and how dumb I felt feeling stressed about it.

So, I started reading more, and I mean a lot more. I went on a diet. I had a lot of work going on at my parent’s place and I started taking care of my own better. I cleaned my kitchen every day, my bathroom 3-times a week, kept caught up on laundry and even sorted through some of the junk I’ve allowed to pile up. I mowed the lawn and got rid of a pile of downed branches I had reserved for “later” (I have a lot of those “later” things – stuff I’ll take care of, ya know, … later). I didn’t even come into my office anymore. I was actually eating at the diningroom table! I know – sacrilege!

So, on Tuesday I began the work of putting this computer back together again, of re-establishing my very identity. Now, today, as I write this it’s Friday, the sink is full, laundry on the floor, dirty towels in the bathroom, I have a dirty plate and cup of cold coffee stagnating on my desk that I keep bumping with my elbow and somehow my life is now “right”. Truly, I found how the other folks live and I didn’t like it!

One thing I did also learn in all of this: I restarted Google and when I signed in I was presented with a number of bookmarked sites that I haven’t seen in years. A good third of them didn’t even exist anymore. Folks, let me tell you – Google Never Forgets! But, it’s nice to visit who I used to be 🙂

Hugs
-randy