Nearly most of the day has gone by but I am so frustrated and due to allergies about ready to jump out of my own skin.
Today I went to an older woman’s home, she is someone I helped even when I tried to go back to work, and even after failing when I sunk into a deep depression, I would work up the ability to leave my bedroom and go to her home to help her with computer / phone issues. Her husband is a wonderful person who in the park for decades that we have been here is well sought after as he is every knowledgeable for every type of repair from wood to electrical. I never asked about his background, but it seems just from his knowledge he has been in the construction field for a long time.
But his wife has had computer issues and I have helped them and their sister in the park. Remember I work only for donations and never make payment an issue, I will help anyone who needs assistance regardless if they are willing to offer me anything or not.
This time it was a repeat problem they had where they needed to print something important, but the printer only printed a page in one color. As I knew and understood the problem it was an easy if time consuming fix. But the conversation between us all was far more valuable to me than the money they insisted I take even when I tried gracefully to refuse.
We got talking about how the park has changed, and these are two people I have never heard a curse word from. I have never heard either of them say a bad word against anyone. Not to dox them but I would say that as I understand it they are from Indiana originally.
As I was cycling the printer through the cleaning program which is all it really needed, I mentioned how the park had changed for Ron and I. How it has gone from when I was on the homeowner’s board and Ron and I would walk around being given hellos and hand waves to now where we are ignored and glared at by some of the people. Not a lot but a notable amount.
This couple is the only people I know who I have never heard say vulgar words against others, they do not curse, they also do not push any kind of religious message or other holier than thou message. They are an enigma as far as that goes, but I learned a few things today sitting with them. When I mentioned how the park had changed and how some people now refuse to acknowledge Ron and I when we are walking around, I mentioned a specific person / home who had directed seeming dislike and nastiness towards us but I mentioned we try to be nice when we walk by that home. The man ( I trying to be deliberately vague so if by some weird the haters come across this they can not attack such a nice couple) for the first time spoke up telling me he told that person they did not belong in our park and chewed them out. Remember in the last decade this has been one of the most sought-after persons for every repair anyone could need. He is legendary in the park to the point if you don’t know how to do a repair or build project everyone says go ask him. And he told me how he went off on the guy after hearing him say something very homophobic (he wouldn’t tell me what the other guy said) and after telling him off and refusing to work for him told him that he did not belong in this park! Then he told me that if Ron and I ever needed advice or help to let him know and he would help us any way he could.
Wow! I knew anti-gay feelings were gaining strength here in our park, our home. We have noticed that the waves and hellos had decreased and sometimes completely ignored as we walk around and meet people. They told me of several people leaving the park I did not know about, and I guess that the change is happening park wide. This is DeathSantis state, so I guess soon it will be our turn to move away. Ron is already making the arrangements. I had so hoped it wouldn’t go that way this year. Sad hugs, keep the asylum doors open please. Hugs
14 thoughts on “I am so frustrated today.”
It’s difficult to “like” this, but I think many of us appreciate you sharing. It helps people know who is behind the words/memes/videos/etc. that are regularly posted.
For many reasons (some you’ve shared), I think it’s will be good if you and Ron can move. Of course, I realize it’s not something you just decide and do overnight. But the fact you’re starting to work in that direction is, I feel, a good thing.
If for no other reason than to get away from the POLITICS of Florida!! 😣
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I agree with Nan about relocating. I have another friend who recently moved from FL to CO; she’s lived in CO before moving to FL, but could only take FL for a year after her husband passed. Other than being extra cold, she’s very happy with her decision, and not only due to politics, but that has a great deal to do with it.
That said, it’s hard to think about leaving an area where you’ve lived for so many years, and aside from being excited for you guys a new adventure, I also feel sad for you because I can read your sadness in this post. It’s going to work out for your best, I know.
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Hello Ali. I am sad. To see us gay people return to a time when we were not accepted is hard. It is hard to go from being accepted to having new people move in and change the feeling of the place. Many of the people we have known have died or moved away. Many more are talking of it. The people moving down here to be in DeathSantis’s maga paradise are mean and hateful people. They are the minority but in a republican state and republican stronghold the accepting republicans will be changed by the louder bigoted maga republicans. So as DeathSantis and his maga thug base ratchet up the hatred against the gays / trans and anyone that supports them the supporters will melt back into the woodwork. I have seen it happen before and it is very hard to see it happening in my old age when we had made such gains even in red states. Even in Florida in 2015 when we got married here the people involved at the clerk’s office were grand. We were the first same sex couple in Lee County to get married, and the clerks fawned over us. It felt great. But just as the kids in school are going to go from being accepted to being hated and attacked, so will the adults if DeathSantis keeps making us the devil. Hugs
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Hello Nan. Thank you. We have been here for 18 years. And I remember when Ron and I first met and back then gays out at clubs / bars had to watch their backs being often attacked by groups of thugs. Over the years we seen that hate die and be replaced by first tolerance then acceptance. The last two decades seen more and more wiping away of animosity in public life and an interesting sense of equality. But DeathSantis is changing all that. It started with trump and his administration rolling back every government program supporting equality and acceptance possible, including letting doctors ignore LGBTQ+ and their spouses. But it is DeathSantis that has turbo charged the hate. trump was passive in his hate, but DeathSantis is actively driving the hate against gays and trans people. Look at the rhetoric he uses to describe us, and he has demonized any material that shows gays in a positive way in books and movies. He attacked Disney one of the state’s largest taxpayers / employers for the positive way they portray the LGBTQ+. I am disabled and soon to be 60, Ron is 68 and lost a lot of the strength he once had. We are starting to worry about our safety again.
We both want to leave Florida. However it is easier to do when you are young and can work and raise your income. We are on fixed incomes, Social Security. It would have been hard to sell the home for what one needs to buy something in a new area after a move, but now that it needs so many repairs we really have to do now to get any price for the house at all. But Ron is getting more and more insistent we have to find a way. We have a friend in North Carolina that wants us to buy a place near him. I would like to move to New Mexico or Colorado. Maybe the west coast, but again my bones really hurt in the cold. Time will tell. Hugs
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Just a couple of things to think about …
1) My other-half and I were BOTH past the age of you two when we made out last move. I realize your health and income play a major role, but don’t let AGE stop you.
2) Take advantage of all that FEMA has to offer and get that place fixed asap!
3) Things to think about re: future locations:
–Don’t the Carolinas have similar weather problems as Florida along the coast? If the area you’re considering is more inland, you might be OK. Don’t know anything about the temps.
–Some parts of Colorado are COLD! My granddaughter lives in Colorado Springs and they get SNOW!
–Don’t know much about New Mexico. Since it’s more southernly, it’s probably warm.
–California is expensive! And inland is HOT!
–OREGON is a great state … EXCEPT, the best living areas are colored RED!
And totally off topic of this post, here is a thing I ran across today that I thought you may like: https://www.upworthy.com/choir-students-perform-at-gay-teacher-wedding . (Happy) tissue alert!
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Hello Ali. That is grand and wonderful, thank you for sharing. I remember a time when gays had to hide being gay at work or face being fired, attacked, losing promotions and raises. But it got better, it improved with the government and schools pushing equality and fairness. But when government under trump took away the protections the hateful people started to act against the gay people again. Then came DeathSantis who seems to really hate LGBTQ+ demonizing gays / trans and anyone who supports them like teachers. In the article the gay teacher kept his engagement from his students and when asked who the guy was that he hung around with he simply said it was a friend because he was afraid of the parents reactions. But the kids knew I bet. And in truth he had a reason to be afraid if he was in Florida. It is illegal now in Florida for him to have told the students that he was engaged to be married to that man. A straight couple could tell the students as that is the indoctrination that the religious maga cult thugs want the kids to be forced to learn. But gay teachers now can’t tell the students they are gay, nor married same sex gay teachers tell their students or even put up pictures of their spouse like straight couples can. This is not protecting the kids, it is erasing gay teachers, gay couples, gay people. It is not equal or fair. And that is the point, it is a forced return to bigoted times when gays had to remain hidden in society. All pushed by DeathSantis and his religious cult maga thug base who think the white superiority minority inferior treatment was the best society the US ever had. Scary. Hugs
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Awwww Scottie … this is … heartbreaking!!! WHAT THE SAM HELL IS THE MATTER WITH PEOPLE??? You and Ron are among the kindest, most giving people I’ve ever had the honour to know … even though I’ve never met you in person. I am … pissed, furious, heartbroken. Why anybody thinks it is their business who others choose to love is … just beyond my comprehension. Love ‘n hugs to you and Ron, my friend.
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Hello Jill. Thank you. It is hard to see the gains of a lifetime erode away. We still have friends and supporters here; it is a new minority that is hostile to “the gays”. Another gay couple who used to be big into the community scene told Ron the other day they are tired of the stabs in the back and dealing with the new assholes and their hate. I guess it has been building for over a couple years as DeathSantis got more and more popular. We just had not noticed it until now. Florida is seen as a maga paradise now. The hard right cult thugs are moving here in droves. I just read and will post tomorrow a maga diehard just got elected to the school board ousting a 30 year teacher. He lied about what he wanted to do to get in and as soon as he won announced his goals, strict corporal punishments, disable kids are out of control being allowed to get away with too much and should be thrown out or physically reprimanded and restrained. He wants basically to tie them up. He is talking kids with mental / emotional disabilities, and he thinks kids with physical disabilities shouldn’t be in the school system but taught at home. He wants LGBTQ+ rights removed as he feels the school do far too much for them and instead he is insisting on bible stickers with “saved zones” printed on them and mandatory bible readings / instruction. He says he is going through all the school history books as the kids are being taught revisionist history from the liberals so he wants them removed and books used that teach how the nation is a Christian only founded nation and the rest of that garbage about how slavery was not that bad, good for the blacks really, the entire trope of the current maga right. His last point was to make sure no vaccines or masks can ever be required as that is against the rights of the students, but making other students sick is a right, I guess. There were two others like him elected and all three were pushed by a republican religious group. That is Florida today. This is not the Florida of even two years ago. In 2015 Ron and I were the first gay couple married in this county. The clerk’s office was great, with everyone wanting to be involved and help us. They offer a package with the ceremony, 15 minutes and like a dozen pictures. We couldn’t get out of there as every staff member wanted a picture with us, we were there for nearly an hour, we had hundreds of pictures. It was grand, so loving and warm. To think now we have a governor demonizing us, turning the communities against gay / trans people, and terrifying teachers and school kids. The governor is trying to follow Russia in erasing us from society and the maga are willing to use violence to do it. How is this possible to roll back 70 years of gains so quickly? How is it possible in the US to make the LGBTQ+ into a hated class of people again, with no rights or protections. Sorry Jill, I am discouraged these day. I am going to bed, try to get up early in the morning with the goal of just answering comments until I get caught up. Hugs
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I wish I had an answer to that question, Scottie. I don’t understand the sudden increase in hatred and bigotry in all forms, but particularly in anti-LGBTQ sentiment. I did read just this evening about Jerry Rutherford, his election to the school board, and his perverted ideas! How the hell a man like that got elected I will never understand! I have, among my friends, at least four LGBTQ married couples who live in Florida, so it really surprises me to find the hatred and bigotry that seems to be increasing exponentially. I know that Horty and her spouse, MJ, are hoping to get out of Florida and live in Puerto Rico. I hate to say it, but perhaps it is time for you and Ron to leave, too. You cannot fight that sort of irrational hatred.
I know it’s discouraging, Scottie, but please hang in there and don’t let the idiots get you down. Love ‘n hugs to you and Ron!
This is both saddening and maddening, Scottie. It’s difficult enough to feel you have to relocate without the reason being growing hostility. But your decision seems wise: DeSantis—whom I consider evil incarnate—is determined to make your beautiful state a hotbed of hate against all but white Christians, it seems. I think in time karma will swoop in, but by then you and Ron will be comfortably settled in a much more hospitable environment. Best wishes!
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I’d like to second Annie this is so well-said!
Hello Annie. I agree with you. The problem is our age and our income. We no longer are free to just move and start over as we have been before. So with the house being damaged we need to put serious money into it before we can sell it. The housing bubble is bursting so we might not be able to get enough to move. We need a new roof, new wall, new siding, we may need to have the home releveled. Plus the floors need a total redo. The water came in around the windows and it caused the floors in that area to lose support and in other areas to swell. Then there is a bunch of cosmetic work like new ceiling tiles where water came in from the damage roof. So basically, we are stuck until we fix it, and then we would need to sell it for enough that with our savings we could get a decent place elsewhere. Ron likes the idea of North Carolina as he thinks we could get a good deal there, but I am tired of living in a red state. Anyway it will all work out. I just cannot believe how fast Florida changed, how quickly the governor and other republicans were able to stir up such hate against us when we were gaining such social acceptance here and across the country. But the right here has learned from Putin / Russia how to make the gays / trans people disappear. Make any positive mention of them illegal while letting all the negative slurs / demonizing stuff be talked about and published unrefuted. And claim to be doing it to protect the children. Hugs
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