I would like to make a personal post if no one minds

https://gofund.me/5d1def2cc

Ok I know that as soon as most of you read the title you thought I was going to talk again about my childhood abuse.   

No what I need help with is for another abuse victim I have come to care a lot about.  He and I met through the abuse site and we bonded emotionally.  He needed to vent a lot of anger  / hate / why me stuff and I was OK with him doing it on me as long as he never attacked me personally.  He also came to care about me and the kind nature I shared with him.  He is much farther along in his therapy so was able to point things out to me far sooner than everyone here did.  

I think by now everyone who follows here realizes I am talking about Kamyk.  Pronounced Camick.  He got very ill shortly after we were friends and if you look back through the archives I asked and many of you did send him cards in the ICU he was in.  He has told me I can share his medical condition he has suffered from all his life and he blames it on both his childhood abuse and his father’s narcistic behavior he developed cysts on his colon.  One day he was talking to me telling me how much pain he was in and then he was gone.  Rushed to the hospital and placed in an ICU. 

Normally to do a GI surgery they have to void the bowels entirely but they simply did not have time and when they tried he crashed, so they rushed him to surgery and according to the surgeon it was the worst most dirty bowel surgery he ever did. 

 Sadly they had to take a large part of Kamyk’s intestines and his entire colon.  Kamyk wanted to die.  After a year of nearly doing so and many surgeries he was left with a couple stomas and an ileostomy.  He came so close to death that several times I asked people here to send him cards.  I know some did.  

Long story short, after all this time he got the ileostomy reversed and one of the stomas.  He could have gone back to his apartment he had managed to keep paying for … but the first nursing home he was sent to let him get a huge pressure sore on his tailbone that is so deep doctors are saying it would take a year to heal.  I get pressure sores and I know what to do once they developed, the pictures Kamyk sent me were so deep and so gross it is a violation of every medical rule I ever practiced under.  It was criminal. 

Sadly in a depressed area of the country one can’t sue a medical provider as all the other providers close their doors to you.   I mean if you sue a hospital in your area you better hope you never need a hospital again.  Unless you are in the emergency room dying no physician can admit you.  

Against all odds Kamyk has pulled through everything life thrown at him.  He aggressively started learning to walk again after one surgery left one of his legs not working.  He really wanted to get out of there and return to his home and I think we can all understand that.   Through it all on a very limited income Kamyk kept paying the rent on his apartment.  Until just recently tragedy struck in the form of the government and greed.

Kamyk was looking forward to going home from the step down care facility he was in.  But without his knowing the facility he was in made arrangements to transfer him to a nursing home.  The nursing home grabbed his entire SSI payment which meant not only did his rent payment fail but a recent device he had saved up for to buy also defaulted in the payments. 

I understand what he is saying as when Ron’s brother had to be put into a nursing home we had to jump through the same damn situation.  He was only allowed 30 dollars of his SSI payment but Ron had to stop his military disability payment of $100 dollars because that put him over the limit allowed to be in the nursing home.  Everything was so strict that Ron and his sister Diane had to pay what few bills he had, they sold his car, and they had to buy him anything he needed as he was not allowed to have any money build up in his bank account.   The system is designed to keep the person in the home as poor as possible, while letting the home take all the money and assets that person has.   It is the punish the poor republican idea of if they are poor then it is their fault.  

Here is why I am writing all this.  I was going to start a Go Fund Me for Kamyk.  He bought a Steam Deck computer device that would let him keep up with friends around the world and with me in a situation where he couldn’t use voice talk to communicate.  As you can imagine some of the things Kamyk would like to talk abut can’t be voiced loudly in a shared room.   Also he needs it is so he can play games with his friend of a decades Wolfy and escape from the horrid place he is in at least for a while, something every one I really understand.    I have worked in a nursing home for a few weeks and I can tell you that the residents in some homes don’t have much to do all day and don’t get much respect.  The staff is over worked, underpaid, and they are struggling also.  

I care deeply for my friend and have seen how horrendous this time has been for him.  He is in a very depressed area of the country in Ohio and he has no family in a position to help him.   

Kamyk has helped me do this by sending me a blurb and other information. They will be below.  Thanks and hugs.  

Kamyk’s journey has been incredibly tough, and it’s clear that every day presents new challenges. After enduring multiple life-threatening infections and a long recovery, the road ahead still feels uncertain. Living in a nursing home where their needs are often overlooked only adds to the struggle. One thing that could bring Kamyk some much-needed joy and connection is the ability to play games with their best friend in New Zealand. A Steam Deck and a secure backpack would provide a way to escape the pain and trauma, even if just for a little while. This small gesture could make a significant difference in their healing process. If you can, please consider contributing to this cause. Your support would mean the world to Kamyk and help them find moments of happiness during this difficult time. Thank you for your kindness and generosity. Best regards, https://gofund.me/5d1def2cc

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Update:  There was some questions as to the amount and what the situation was.  I wrote kamyk and called him about it.  He was able to respond after I went to bed.  

Gofundme is weird it only starts with a minimum, supposedly to get the ball rolling before showing the full requested amount. My full requested amount is $1000

Steam deck is $700, TSA approved slash resistant locking backpack is $80, a bluetooth headset i can use with the steam deck or my phone is about $40 which would allow me to talk to you, mark, or wolfy semi privately without the issues the earbuds have, and gofundme suggested the additional difference so i could get some more games

I also added further text to my fundraiser page explaining that my ultimate goal is $1000, and that it feels deceptive to me to rely on a marketing technique to get donations, so I clarified

Thanks to everyone that reads this, forwards it, and if possible can help.   I am sorry for the confusion I did not know how Go Fund Me works.   Hugs

Zohran Is Delivering Good Policy AND Selling It

A progressive who ran as a progressive and is governing as a progressive.   This shows how it can and should be done.  It terrifies the corporate democrats.   Hugs

 

Speaking Of The Most Anemic And Weak Democratic Leadership You Can Imagine…

Inside ICE Detention: Stripped, Shackled, Starved

 

ICE Memo: Agents have power to enter homes without a judge’s warrant

 

Minnesota FED UP With Trump’s ICE Terror Campaign

Sadly after. If you will let me post my own feelings. And ask a question

For nearly two days I worried about Tupac, which I call Ron’s cat.  I stayed up, I forced myself to do everything needed to make sure he was OK.  I nearly fell out of bed twice because he was pushed so tight against me, and I was afraid if I pushed back he would be injured that I was right on the edge of the bed.  I fed him in the bed, I let him pee and poop in the bed.  I carried him around the house so he wouldn’t have to put his paw down on the floor.   Yes, I was trying to be a good daddy.   Meanwhile Ron was panicking and crying on the phone that we might have to put the boy down.   

Here is my issue I want to share and ask all of the wonderful people who come here.  It is not critical and if you don’t want to reply it is OK.  

After all of this, All the lack of sleep, and all the effort, as I got home and started to relax, as I started watching other things on one monitor and as I started replying to comments on this monitor … memories started to invade.

I started struggling to deal with Tupac, the kitchen, even the blog.  Memories after memories are flooding over me and through me.  I was answering comments yet even as I write replies I have to delete some of what I wrote.   What is wrong with me!  I should be so happy as my husband’s cat is not got a broken leg and I only need to baby him to get him well.  

Yet the places my mind is going into my past, my childhood is horrific and blocking everything I am trying to do.  I once as a preteen swam out into the middle of a pond to save what would become my only praised love, the black lab and I did not know when I carried her cold shaking form back to the camper my adoptive parents had that I was signing the death warrant of our other dog.  Also I had to bargain my damn body for the dog to live.  I agreed and went into the camper to be raped repeatedly.  Shit why does my mind go to these places they hurt so much?

Why.  Suzy Sunshine asked me that question before admitting she had no way or conception how to help me.   She tried to hide it but she was shocked and horrified by the few minor things I told her. 

Sorry I got so damn distracted.    The question is why now knowing Tupac is OK and everything will work out as I sat here at my computer starting to deal with everything … did my mind flood me with horrific memories of my past and of things I can not change?  That is what I am struggling with.  Please help if you have an idea?

See the rest I have been dealing with all my life.  I watched librarians when I was 7 or 8 years old put the books I was reading behind their desk for me tomorrow while only touching me on my head as if they patted me on the back I cried out in pain.  But my mind knew this.  So why flood my memories with it when I realized Tupac was OK.  Why is my mind sending me these memories?

Maybe you all have abilities I don’t.  I am sorry if this post upset anyone.  I am going back to replying to the wonderful comments.  I just wanted everyone to understand  what I am dealing with.  Hugs

 

$534 to find out the cat is a drama queen who may get it from his two gay dads.

I am home and decompressing.   I had a very bad night.  But I guess I should start at the beginning.  

Ron left the morning of Saturday the 17th for Texas because his sister fell and broke her wrist.  This after her husband died and she needed Ron’s help to get her large home ready for sale.  She had returned here with him and I was so grateful for her being here as she let me get back to what I love, blogging.  But Ron being gone for three weeks was traumatic for Tupac who has seen the humans he loves go away never to come back so he clung to me the entire time Ron was gone.  He had already been coming to  me before Ron when he wanted something and at night he would sleep either on the pillow I put in the middle of the bed so he could lay on it and be made of by both of us or what he started to do while Ron was gone the first time he would lay between that middle pillow and my body.

So Ron left for Texas and I noticed that Tupac was staying much closer to me and to the house when outside.  He also did not want to go out as much.  Ron had noticed that there was a very large orange cat that was coming around to lay near the house and also a back long hair cat that was very vocal screaming at Tupac.  While the orange cat was trying to find friendship the black long hair seemed to want to provoke a fight or at least scare Tupac.  So I figured Tupac was staying close to home or inside since Ron left because of that.  Also since Ron left Tupac who is a bit incontinent leaking a bit on the places he sleeps and stuff started urinating on the floor as he was walking or eating, or even just sitting somewhere.  Now let’s get to the drama queen stuff and the big scare.

Yesterday the 20th Tupac stayed on the new daybed Diane gave us that was in the new living room all morning sleeping.   I heard him thump onto the floor.  I was in the kitchen getting ready to do dishes.   As he walked into the room I noticed he was limping on his right front paw.  But he seemed to be walking it out as he moved I just figured he slept too long on his right front shoulder.  So I gave it no more thought.   Then during the later part of the day he got up on my desk as he has gotten to love doing.  It is one way I have bonded with all our cats, they love the warmth the monitors put off and enjoy rubbing on them and other things on the desk.  I put a towel down and the cat sits next to the keyboard enjoying the pets and warmth along with companionship while I work.  It took a while for Tupac to understand that joy but he took to it once he did.  

So back to yesterday he was on the desk and I went to get a soda.   I heard a thump / bang and came back to find Tupac on the floor with his right front paw held high.   He was very upset and when I reached for him he hobbled away from me to the bedroom.   Then he stopped and let me put him on the bed.  He hobbled to my pillows and lay down.  I reached out to him and he swatted my hand away with no claws.  I started envisioning the worst. 

Yes maybe he gets his drama queen honestly.  I figured he either broke his leg or did damage to his shoulder like dislocating it.  He pressed hard into my side pillow very upset.  I let him be for a bit then went back to him.  He then accepted my petting him.  Still thinking he broke his leg / paw I brought him supper in bed.  Then I went to bed with him.  I did not try to push him over but tried hard to lay down on my side of the bed next to him.  He loved it.  He slept pushed hard against me as I laid on the edge of the bed worried to try to move him and hurt his broken leg / paw.  He never got up once which was not normal, but he did change position pressing harder into me each time, each time I woke and couldn’t sleep because I worried he would try to jump down from the bed.  I figure I got two and half broken hours of sleep.

This morning I again brought him breakfast in bed which he loved.  I tried putting him on the floor but he wouldn’t walk or put the paw down and I got even more worried.  I put him back up on the bed near the pillows and he settled back into them while I went and got my shower.  After all I had to take him to the vet’s office as soon as they opened.  After my shower I got two shirts out, one that he could claw if he needed as I put him in his carrier and one to wear out to the vet’s office.  

When it came ten minutes from the time to leave, I went out, started the van let it warm up, and then moved it into position to be more able to move him into it.  I then picked him up from the recliner I have put him in and he seemed fine with staying in.  He did not really fight or struggle to stop going into the carrier.  So I closed the door and went to change my shirt to the one I wanted to wear in the veterinarian’s office.  Remember I was on an emergency walk in so the bill was $150 to walk into the door.  

I have to admit the young woman behind the counter was very much sympathetic and on the ball.   Seeing my cane she carried the pet carrier to a chair for me.  She was very sympathetic.  Then who I would in the hospital say was a medical assistance who came to get me and Tupac.  Again seeing my cane she came and offered to carry Tupac into the room and set his carrier on the table.  She took all the information.  Again very caring person.  I explained my fears and how Ron was in Texas.  She was very understanding through it all.   I thought of my time in the hospital and how many of the people there had far less empathy and concern for the feelings of the patients or their families.  

The doctor came in and talked with me, heard my fears and concerns.  They took Tupac and did X-Rays and other checks.  After 30 minutes the doctor came back.   She showed me the two X-Rays they were able to get before old man Tupac got too grumpy to let them do anymore.  I guess veterinarians are used to that and let him calm down while the doctor came to talk to me. 

The X-Rays showed that he had no breaks in his leg or wrist bones.  They did show great swelling in his paw near the first two digits.  The doctor suggested he got his claw caught and wrenched it while jumping down from the day bed.  But she was not sure.  I asked about his shoulder and she told me he was too grumpy then but if I wanted they could try again.   I asked her to if she could as I needed reassurance he did not damage his shoulder.   She told me she also was going to look closely at his claws on that paw to see if he ripped one.  

Well letting the old grumpy moocher calm down worked.   They got the X-ray, no damage to the shoulder.   She was able to look closely at his paw and claws.  And it explained what the issue was.  He had what she felt was an infected first digit and slightly his thumb on that paw.  That was why his paw was so swollen.  She said it looked like a puncture such as a bite from another cat that did it.  I asked if it could be a puncture from a plant or other thing and she said yes, but she felt it was another cat that did it.  

So for an entire night of staying awake watching to make sure he did not jump down and hurt his broken leg / wrist / shoulder and feeding him in bed then carrying him to the recliner this morning and packing pillows around him while putting them on the floor in case he jumped down, to find out he had an infected swollen very painful paw.  The doctor gave me three pain pills to give him one a day, and they gave him an antibiotic shot to help with the infection.  

But who would have figured that two old gay guys, one who owned / ran a bar for gay people in the 1980s would have a furry drama queen child who milked a painful paw into getting supper and breakfast in bed and carried around like a little prince … Oh I give up.  Hugs

 

Let’s talk about Europe’s alliance, Greenland, and Americans….

What is shocking is how ill informed some people in the US are.   This is part of the dumbing down of the US education system.   So many right wing / or maga people are so uneducated and wrong because they believe the misinformation fed them along with the hyper US is always correct and never wrong they are fed by the right wing media that is designed to mislead the maga public ready to accept / follow an authoritarian government meant to make their lives harder while making the lives of the very wealthy even more wealthy.  Just listen to the arrogance the person asking the question has even though they are totally incorrect on everything they claim / write to Belle.  Hugs

 

Some Bernie Sanders clips from The Late Show. This is how democrats need to get air time

 

 

 

 

USA TODAY: Los Angeles school policy discriminates against White students, lawsuit says

The white nationalist racist think anything that equals the playing field for minorities is some how harmful to them. They see any reduction of their white privilege as oppression and reverse racism. They want all civil rights gains since the 1950s rolled back returning white males to assume positions of power/ privilege. Just like they think the bible says they deserve to be treated. Everyone else are servant class. Hugs

Los Angeles school policy discriminates against White students, lawsuit says
The lawsuit, filed Jan. 20, argues that students at “non-PHBAO” schools receive “inferior treatment and calculated disadvantages.”

Read in USA TODAY: https://apple.news/AXBwSS5TqSDm7LLYmyt53Wg

Shared from Apple News

Best Wishes and Hugs,Scottie