Yes I did this

OK Ron has said if I don’t tell everyone I did this he will.  He is still cackling nearly an hour later.  In my defense, I was really trying to be nice and not complain as we are trying to keep the grocery budget down.  Just not to this amount.

So we decided to have burgers for supper.  Ron normally has some frozen for when we want them but don’t want to go out to the store to get hamburger.  But Ron had gone shopping today filling the cupboards and cabinets with food stuffs.  He bought two packages of new hamburger as that seems to be are new meat of choice in hard times.

So as supper neared, we talked about what to have, and we both agreed on hamburgers and salad.  We used to have french fries with meals such as this, but both of us have lost the taste for such heavy meals and we are both diabetics.  As Ron got the meat ready I got all the salad stuff and burger fixings out.  I take great pride in how I build a hamburger.  

For me I take the thinnest part of the bun, and set it aside.  I take the thickest part and add a bit of mustard to it.  It might be brown mustard or yellow depending on mood.  Then I add several large pickle slices, normally I trim them to just beyond the shape of the bun.  Then I add a few lettuce leaves, torn to fit but not shredded.  I always like a lot of lettuce so a use a few instead of one.  

Then I add the meat and season to taste, closing the bun and enjoying a well-built tasty burger.  However I missed a step this time that caused Ron no amount of amusement and me a bunch of red-faced oh crap.  

In my defense I was trying to listen to a podcast on the current political situation and was not really paying attention to what I was doing, but Ron is correct, it was hilarious what happened next.  Just don’t tell him I agree, I am trying to maintain my innocence with subterfuge and obstruction, you know the republican way.

As I was eating the first burger and enjoying my bowl of salad I noticed the burger was lacking a burger taste.  I looked at it and thought “Wow Ron really made these burgers thin”.  But I figured that was all he had in the package and as we are on a budget I thought why complain when he is doing the best he can.  After all the bun and stuff tasted great, just less than burgerish. 

 I got to the last three bits when I took a look at the bun in my hand.  I thought the burger was really skimpy, in fact I couldn’t see it.  I went over to Ron and mentioned I knew we were on a budget but why make burgers so skimpy as to hardly taste them.

As we were talking and he seemed confused, I looked over at the counter … and there were my two hamburgers sitting on the plate Ron had brought them in from the grill on.  Oh shit!  Talk about foot in mouth eating crow!  I had made two perfect burgers with no hamburgers in them, and ate most all of the one without stopping to investigate or complain why it seemed burger less tasting.  

Ron is still laughing and I know he will not let this go, he will use this against me for the next dozen times I point out something I think he may have been mistaken on.  He is still gloating even though I gave him my second well dressed bun, this time with a hamburger in it hoping that would sooth his need to take glee at my discomfort and small unfortunate once in a long time misstep.  Sadly that is not to be, he informed me that if I did not write this for all my viewers to see how utterly clueless and goofy I can be, he would.  I prefer my version to his so I am taking my lumps with grace and going off to bed.   Hugs