Intolerance and Judgmentalism

Why Tolerating Hate Harms Society
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Published by ali redford

I love dogs and people. I want living creatures to thrive. I love to cook, and share the food, but ya gotta get in line in front of the dog.

6 thoughts on “Intolerance and Judgmentalism”

    1. Thank you for yours, Janet! I’m still thinking about it all.
      I wrote here a little while back about going to an art exhibit at the library with a good friend, but when the subject of banned books came up, she spoke up, then I spoke up, and although we may not have been disagreeing, I know which church she attends, and I’m pretty sure we disagree. It didn’t seem to come between us at the time, but we haven’t had contact since; we usually text a couple of times a month. Of course, I haven’t texted yet, either, but every time I go to do it, I worry she won’t answer back, and I don’t know how I feel about that.

      The thing about her is: she worked as a para at the same elementary I did, though she put in years there. She never got moved from the intensely special needs classroom, and her duties were usually the cleaning and tending of the students who weren’t able, and the doing of laundry and cleaning after messes. Although she put in the continuing ed and in-service hours, she never got out of that position. While she was very good at it, never complained, was so gentle and loving with the kiddoes and they loved her, I don’t doubt she wanted to be “promoted”. My friend is Black, and among only a few employees across the district. After Trayvon Martin was killed, I found out at lunch that the majority of paras at that school were very bigoted, thought he had it coming, and really didn’t hide it at all, no matter who was around. My friend had spent years eating lunch in her car, reading her Bible, instead of being with others in the workroom where we ate. The day I learned about the bigotry, I was horrified. The photo of people screaming at black people just trying to get into school kept flashing. I got out of the room as soon as I could, and never ate there again. Most of the time I didn’t have to deal with the others involved, but occasionally I had to work with one of them. It was tough. It also made my decision that I didn’t want to go back to that school to work; the bigotry went beyond the paras, some teachers also exhibiting the “perfect” performance of classroom-to-prison guidance, by isolating children of color (there were many) when they misbehaved, instead of sending them to sit against the wall, as usual. It was appalling, and I couldn’t wait for the end of the year.

      Now, the next year, the after school program came under the purview of the district, rather than running on its own grant. So I could never discuss this stuff, and I didn’t want to quit after school, because I felt like I really did some good work there for the kids and their families. This is only the second time I’ve discussed this since it happened, back in, I think, 2010. Maybe ’09. (Besides with DH, who told me we’re not a sundown town, but it’s pretty close.) Many of those paras have retired, and all the admin is new. There are rules and guidance in place to prevent such things, though personal lunchtime discussion aren’t governed.

      I still kinda wish, after the lunchtime conversation, that I’d have done more than raised an eyebrow and excused myself hurriedly without responding to anyone’s see ya laters. It was the best I felt I could do in that workplace. But my friend and I got closer over that; I told her, and didn’t even have to tell the whole story. She said it was not misunderstanding on their parts, and that they pulled no punches and would not, because she’d received such stuff herself, which was why she ate lunch as she did.
      So I will miss my friend. I reached out to her on her retirement, when she was widowed after her retirement, and now and then since. I don’t think I’m going to actively cut her off over the banned books thing, but I think we’re drifting apart.

      But I am not the 10th Nazi at the table of 9 active Nazis, either. So, we’ll see what pans out. This is why I think the definition of tolerance is subjective. Occasionally people need a bit of a learning curve, and to me, the more people who learn and remember that we’re all humans, the better. That doesn’t mean I tolerate those who won’t learn to stop fearing other humans.

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      1. Ali: Thank you for sharing that. I value that you feel comfortable enough with me to do so. It’s certainly a difficult subject. Clearly, I have my own views on it, and they are certainly informed by being a member of a group currently receiving a lot of hate. I know that the issue is very complicated and I respect your thoughts on it.

        Blessed Be. 💜

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        1. Well, now I don’t want anyone who reads here to feel like this is not their place anymore, because of something I’ve written. Because it’d be better, if it had to be that way, that I be the one to go. But I don’t see that there can’t be communication amongst us here, so I’d prefer that. I reblogged because I was hoping for a robust discussion, not necessarily contentious, but where any- and everyone could say things, and we just ask questions until we know what a person means. I think Scottie and I are working on that on another subject, on another post, and I’m a little nervous about misunderstanding there. Anyway, again, I’d like to see more, though I’m not trying to force anything. I think it’s a worthy conversation, though, and being able to see where the stumbling blocks are makes it easy to remove those.

          I think, anyway?

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