Cheeto Benito by Clay Jones
Cheetos and Cheatahs Read on Substack
On Tuesday, the Department of Health and Human Services and the Food and Drug Administration announced a series of measures to phase out eight artificial food dyes and colorings from America’s food supply by the end of next year. Get ready for boring Cheetos.
RFK Jr, the nation’s laughingstock of a Health Secretary, said, to a crowd of “Make America Health Again” supporters (that’s a thing?), “I just want to urge all of you, it’s not the time to stop; it’s the time to redouble your efforts, because we have them on the run now, and we are going to win this battle.” Who do we have on the run? Food colorers? The Easter Bunny? He also said, “And four years from now, we’re going to have most of these products off the market, or you will know about them when you go to the grocery store.”
Are they sure that brain worm is dead?
FDA Commissioner Dr. Marty Makary said the agencies are looking to revoke authorization for two synthetic food colorings and to work with the food industry to eliminate six remaining synthetic dyes used in cereal, ice cream, snacks, yogurts, and more. They’re going to fuck up ice cream.
He said, “Today, the FDA is taking action to remove petroleum-based food dyes from the U.S. food supply and medications. For the last 50 years, American children have increasingly been living in a toxic soup of synthetic chemicals.”
Now get this. These bans will be voluntary with the food companies. RFK Jr. said, “We don’t have an agreement; we have an understanding.” Good luck with that, Mr. Wormy Bear Killer.
The food companies would like an agreement, and that is for there to be one federal regulation on food dyes, and regulations from every state. Remember state rights? That will be the case for abortions but not for the color in Cheetos. (Snip-MORE + Chicago trip stuff)
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The three branches of government, 2025 by Ann Telnaes
Dictators, defenders, and dysfunction Read on Substack
Scottie's Playtime 