Stupid, stupid, idiot, I wish I could still get angry at my own stupidity.

I screwed up! Yes, let me say it again louder, I screwed up! What is worse I started this post late last night not having done all the crap I got early this morning and have been working all day with only a few minutes ago finding and fixing the problem that started this that had I had half the brain I had decades ago or even the eyesight I use to have I might have spotted it right away.

Please indulge me this might get really long as it started yesterday at about 4 or 5 PM. Also as Nan can loudly attest I am never short of words but use as many as possible to say what I want. The saga started at with Ron being unable to sit and watch his TV shows including his apple box, Netflix, HBO Max, Amazon Prime, and a subscription to an oriental video channel he loves. But he gets like that … often. So he decided we had to get out the two new monitor arms we bought for when we moved me into the new room … hold on don’t get ahead of me I got a lot of stupids to go through first. He wanted to set one up and that went to wanting to try them on a monitor.

Well the instructions, which I had a real issue with Ron even bothering to look at as he is sure he understands these things, said first we had to put together the base and then to attach it to the desk, forward from there including putting a monitor on the arm which was what Ron really wanted to do. Well I could see where this was going so … I started shutting things down and getting read to unhook everything.

So Ron was all excited, and he thought it was a great time to clean off the desk and move it into the new office, even though he was not finished working in there. So why fight the inevitable that will happen? I agreed.

So after I unhooked everything Ron helped me remove everything from heavy from the desk and I removed the papers and other small stuff scattered all over the desk. The Ron cleaned and washed the desk of all the dust, dirt, food, and cat food pieces that gather on a place where I let cats stay and so much daily work is done.

One thing, I have said and will say many more times that “Ron cleaned …” . And that is because Ron doesn’t mind cleaning stuff, doing the detailed work of getting cat fur and other debris off stuff. I hate it, and Ron understands this. I will wash dishes now that we don’t have the dishwasher, I will clean toilets and showers, I will do the floors until my torn up dying shoulders give out. But detailed cat hair / fur removal and other stuff like that I hate including cleaning, dusting, and wiping stuff down. I have not done it so far in my 60 years except a few years in the military, and if I can keep my wonderful hubby happy I won’t have to.

So I guess now I have to explain what my desk is. In 1998 we bought another new home because Ron insisted for the many times again we move … I now understand why, but then we did not have a diagnosis of his anxiety issues. That would come many decades and a lot of lost money later. The prior owner was selling everything in the house including a wooden table with the ability to expand to about 84 inches and was 31 1/2 wide. I loved it. The owner wanted 100 dollars for it and we paid that. There is a further story about the table, but everything worked out for us after my adoptive father tried to screw me, again.

Long story short, after all the damage to the home and my office from hurricane Ian my desk in my office was destroyed and to get my computer system up online the guys took the eating table we had so they could quickly get me set up. But after using it for a while and having very … large Odie sprawled on it, we realized it was so much better for that than my other desks. It was decided not to buy another desk but I would keep this table as my desk. Fast forward to last night … again.

Last night we cleaned off the desk, removed the middle top, took it into the room and expanded it and put the top back in. Remember this was a sudden decision due to Ron not being able to settle down and wanting to see how the new monitor arms worked, Then we added the arms that we put together haltingly and without any missteps. Added the monitors and adjusted the arms so I could move them. Ron still needs to loosen then some more so it is easier for me to move, right now I have to get up and use a lot of effort to move them. When I told him he was agreeable but said he was only trying to keep the monitors from falling, but remember the arms we bought are for monitors larger and heavy than mine as Ron thinks I might want / need bigger ones in the future. My eyes are still getting worse.

Then after the monitors it was time to put the computers he wiped off and cleaned but that also became a small issue. When I was in this room as my office originally I had each computer up off the floor which keeps them much cleaner and healthier. In the old large front room office Ron was always going to build something to get them off the floor but never did find time to do it, and in that room and the living room my computers sat on the floor. One on each side of the desk, on the side of their monitor. This important as you will see later. The important thing to know is the side of each monitor changed. They are reversed.

With the Logitech program and devices I have I can switch computers with just moving the mouse to the edge of the computer screen and it switches to the other computers. So blogging computer is always computer one and video computer is always computer two with any laptop or other thing I am working on being number three. On the keyboard I use number three for my phone so I can text easier. I never had an issue with changing my set-up before. What I did not realize is they changed the program so simply resetting the flow settings did not change the computer arrangement to match the current set up. That is important as you will see and how I totally became stupid and caused my self two days of extra work.

So we set up monitors, computers on the desk moving their position to better salve my OCD about size and placements, we put the battery backups on the floor, ran the new power cables and plugged stuff in, and started to hook the other stuff up. Then came the last part, the ethernet cables. We had not moved the modem or router so the cat cables I was using before were too short. I dug boxes out of my closet of older cables and stuff. I found a few that are more than long enough and ran them along the walls and into the room to the computers. But they are not cat 6 such as the ones I was using, so when everything gets put into the room I will take the measurements of the lengths I need and order them at that time.

I should mention that somewhere at this point Friday night I still did not know what was keeping my mouse and keyboard from switching / working properly as I had written about so much of this much of this post. I closed it down to go to bed at like 9:15 PM which is very late for me only to find that this morning I had lost the entire post. I had not yet dumped either computer which I was planning to do and then reinstall all the programs hoping that cleaned up what every was keeping the issue. Remember the point is to move the mouse to the edge of the monitor and the cursor jumps to the next monitor. To be continued tomorrow morning.

Writting this on Sunday morning!

So Saturday morning I got up early and wanted to dump the computers because I was still sure the problem was a registry issue. So instead of just running the registry cleaners I thought to dump them, that way cleaning them up really well. But I had a major problem. I still had 61 open tabs saved for comments and websites I want to get to. If I dumped both computers I would forever lose them. So I was stuck doing them one at a time dragging the process out and maybe keeping the same issue with the mouse / keyboard program switching monitors / computers. I decided to do the video computer first.

I had done all the prep work yesterday so all I had to do Saturday morning was to run the recovery program telling the computer to clean all the drives and redownload and install the Windows 10 OS. Then after about 20 minutes or less I started the tedious work of going through and adjusting all the settings, renaming the computers, setting things up to give me the max privacy and performance mix. That takes far longer than doing the recovery. Then I started with the programs reinstall. I do Chrome first, then Nortons security and utilities, then NordVPN, and lastly I install Ashampoo Winoptimizer 26. I set all of them to give the max security and max privacy. Also Both NordVPN and Adblock Plus in Chrome stops any advertisements except those I allow. Plus NordVPN and Nortons both work to prevent malware and scan for viruses. Then I add in the sound programs, camera programs and other odds and ends programs I use. That takes hours, but I can still use the computer while doing it.

Next I used the history of devices on Chrome to open all 61 of the saved open tabs that my blogging computer had open. I then did all the recovery steps on the blogging computer that I had just done on the video computer. During this Ron got up so I started up his computer and used it to also load the 61 open tabs so I would be sure not to lose them.

During this time I was checking to see if the newly installed Logi Options+ to see if it seen the computers in the right order and would work by moving the mouse to the left edge of the right screen moving the mouse cursor to the left screen and to go back to the right screen I would move the mouse cursor to the right edge of the left monitor. It wouldn’t switch, still not working. But in frustration I moved the cursor all the way to the right edge of the right monitor and suddenly the cursor showed up on the left monitor. Wait how did that happen. I did a few more times, and it worked like it should. Except to the program the monitors were in the possitions they were before the move. I did not make sence to me. I open the program on both computers and reset the flow part of the program. Same thing. I was getting so frustrated! Then know I needed a break I left my mouse cursor on one of the monitors in the open flow part of the program and went to get a soda.

When I returned I noticed a tip message I never seen or had appear before because I never left the cursor on one of the monitors on the program that names the monitor / computer for each ones connect with the program.

The message said “Drag to rearrange”. WTF

By my dogs that love gravy could it really be that easy? Could it be the solution was to simply move the monitors in the program. Then I looked at the names on the monitors displayed in the program. I had not bothered because I knew both of mine were there so why take the effort to really look closely at the names on the monitors displayed. Son of a deer tick, on the screen the monitors were PlayBlogger on the left and PlayVideo on the right. But I had switched the order in the move. Now the monitor for the PlayBogger was on the right and Play Video on the left. I dragged the displayed monitors in the program to show the current positions of the monitors. Then I moved the cursor to the left edge of the right monitor and it jumped to the left monitor. It worked! Just the way it is supposed to. All that work, and two days lost from blogging and read blogs / news. All because I did not know that I could change the monitors on the screen and I DID NOT LOOK AT WHAT THE DISPLAY SAID THE MONITOR ORDER WAS.

But by the time I figured it out it was far too late in the day and I was very tired. I decided to get a shower and go to bed. Ron had acid reflux again in the early part of the night and was up most of the night. I couldn’t sleep either so we got up about 3:30 AM and while having coffee I am finishing writing this post. Before the morning news shows I have to move my rolling TV entertainment stand into the new office so I can watch the Sunday news shows that are on broadcast. And I have to now go open and save all the last few days of comments and blogs I missed. Hugs

A post I was going to make that took a horrible side step.

Please forgive me, This is not how I wanted to start this post. Earlier I had a great plan and took pictures, and was so happy I was kind of humming to my self. Then as I sat down to do this post when on the other computer screen came a video I shouldn’t have watched, I should have shut down. It was a news station report on two young boys fostered (me adopted) and the physical abuse they suffered. They suffered no sexual abuse, but the descriptions of the physical abuse sent all my former great happy thoughts fleeing as I totally understood their thoughts they might die and their struggles with the pain inflicted on them, I started to cry and shake and then damn it the vortex came. It howled and tried to consume me, I floundered looking for something some handle, anything in my mind to grab so it wouldn’t take me and I could with stand it. Fight it off.

I put music on the other computer, wiping off the abuse video, I have no idea the songs I can not think on them. The screen says the best soft rock of the 70s,80s,90s. But I am calming down, remembering what I wanted to post, the great idea I have. I must stop sobbing, Ron must not come out and see me like this. Such a great day, great week, and yet …

By my dogs that love gravy I wonder how my heart, my body can take these sudden panics, the mental sounds of the vortex coming for me, my body’s desperate attempt to flee or just to curl up in a ball and let it happen. My heart rate is again down to 76. According to my Apple Watch that monitors it, my heart rate went to 158. Anyway. I am calm enough to do the post I wanted to do. But damn, I need to be more careful on the news I see coming across the many web feeds. But I did not select the video, I was watching a new channel on the fires in Hawaii.

I want to just add that I was one step from activating the emergency Scottie needs help signal. That is to Randy. For those that never followed my old blog I had a breakdown in 2014. I started self harming again and was trapped in my head by the vortex, reliving my childhood abuse. I won’t and sorry can not describe it, but Randy who was working long night shifts keep his phone on all the time, called me repeatedly if he did not hear from me, texted me, and took hours long phone calls from me desperately trying to stop the nightmares in my head from the memories. He went without sleep so many days just to be there for me. When I say Randy is the best brother ever, I mean it, and that is part of the reason why. It is not an exaggeration to say that after drawing a sharp knife or razor blade across my skin drawing blood instead of doing it again I would reach out to Randy instead. It got to where instead of the blades, I reached for him. Anyway those days are past now. For good I hope. Yet it still gets scary sometimes.

Ok Ron got up, kept asking me what was wrong, I denied anything was wrong and told him my allergies were acting up. He seemed like he was going to pursue it but then dropped it, and I am glad. I just don’t want to deal with all that now at this time. I am trying hard to let the past sink back in to the deep depths of the deepest part of the ocean in a chest wrapped in many layers of big chains, weighted down by as many happier thoughts as I can push against it.

Ok my head is clearing and I want to do the happy bread post I started to do. Hugs to all who want them. Scottie

And this is what we are thinking for supper

Today for the second day I had another doctor’s appointments. Yesterday I got my allergy shots, today I saw my endocrinologist. He was thrilled with my labs, he also was thrilled with my weight loss from a little over 200 to now 185. It may not seem like a lot but it has made a big difference for me, as I recently said my A1C is down to 6.2. He also was shocked when I told him my Janumet medication went from $122 for three months to $431 for one month. He changed that to Metformin which the pharmacy informed me right after the visit would cost me … Wait for it … $1.30 for three months.

Ron and I came up with an idea for supper that we think is neat and cool. Ron had bought yesterday a French bread baguette and some garlic spread we like. So we got out a large electric grill out we have, sliced the bread on an angle about a little less than one 1 inch thick, Ron sliced the big ham we had the other day into small slices, and we have trimmed cheese slices to use. I prefer Munster and Ron likes Swiss.

I opened two cans of Campbell’s tomato soup and got out crackers. I got out paper plates but real bowls. Yes I do not like paper bowls for soup. Ron has called me over several times to see if I thought something done this way or that would be OK. I love it, no matter how this turns out we have had fun experimenting, we will enjoy eating it, and we will have the memory of doing it together. Hugs.

Oh one of the windows I have been carrying forward the last few days is 78 tabs large. I have finally managed to get all the other tabs handled, but this one is one of the largest, and it may take me the weekend to deal with. My plan now is to get up in the middle of the night and try to respond to them all. Hugs and loves to all, if you have not gotten a reply to your comment and you really think I should, please send it in again, write a new one. Sometimes older comments go away before I can get to them. Best to all. Scottie

Yes I did this

OK Ron has said if I don’t tell everyone I did this he will. He is still cackling nearly an hour later. In my defense, I was really trying to be nice and not complain as we are trying to keep the grocery budget down. Just not to this amount.

So we decided to have burgers for supper. Ron normally has some frozen for when we want them but don’t want to go out to the store to get hamburger. But Ron had gone shopping today filling the cupboards and cabinets with food stuffs. He bought two packages of new hamburger as that seems to be are new meat of choice in hard times.

So as supper neared, we talked about what to have, and we both agreed on hamburgers and salad. We used to have french fries with meals such as this, but both of us have lost the taste for such heavy meals and we are both diabetics. As Ron got the meat ready I got all the salad stuff and burger fixings out. I take great pride in how I build a hamburger.

For me I take the thinnest part of the bun, and set it aside. I take the thickest part and add a bit of mustard to it. It might be brown mustard or yellow depending on mood. Then I add several large pickle slices, normally I trim them to just beyond the shape of the bun. Then I add a few lettuce leaves, torn to fit but not shredded. I always like a lot of lettuce so a use a few instead of one.

Then I add the meat and season to taste, closing the bun and enjoying a well-built tasty burger. However I missed a step this time that caused Ron no amount of amusement and me a bunch of red-faced oh crap.

In my defense I was trying to listen to a podcast on the current political situation and was not really paying attention to what I was doing, but Ron is correct, it was hilarious what happened next. Just don’t tell him I agree, I am trying to maintain my innocence with subterfuge and obstruction, you know the republican way.

As I was eating the first burger and enjoying my bowl of salad I noticed the burger was lacking a burger taste. I looked at it and thought “Wow Ron really made these burgers thin”. But I figured that was all he had in the package and as we are on a budget I thought why complain when he is doing the best he can. After all the bun and stuff tasted great, just less than burgerish.

I got to the last three bits when I took a look at the bun in my hand. I thought the burger was really skimpy, in fact I couldn’t see it. I went over to Ron and mentioned I knew we were on a budget but why make burgers so skimpy as to hardly taste them.

As we were talking and he seemed confused, I looked over at the counter … and there were my two hamburgers sitting on the plate Ron had brought them in from the grill on. Oh shit! Talk about foot in mouth eating crow! I had made two perfect burgers with no hamburgers in them, and ate most all of the one without stopping to investigate or complain why it seemed burger less tasting.

Ron is still laughing and I know he will not let this go, he will use this against me for the next dozen times I point out something I think he may have been mistaken on. He is still gloating even though I gave him my second well dressed bun, this time with a hamburger in it hoping that would sooth his need to take glee at my discomfort and small unfortunate once in a long time misstep. Sadly that is not to be, he informed me that if I did not write this for all my viewers to see how utterly clueless and goofy I can be, he would. I prefer my version to his so I am taking my lumps with grace and going off to bed. Hugs

I am so sorry

I got up this morning a bit late, on purpose. I wanted to get my blood drawn for my endocrinologist doctor’s appointment this week. So that is what I did. But, when I got home, I tried to get back to blogging. Everything sort of fell apart. Good news is my labs all came back great, but … Oh all labs are great and my A1C is down to 6.2

I started doing dishes and other housework. I got terrible shivers and shakes. I almost needed to go to bed I felt so bad. Ron continued to work on my new office room, he is painting everything the two pink colors I chose so there won’t be any white. Even the formerly white shelf boards he is painting the camo rose, which is so close to the wall pink Chablis I can not tell the difference. I have not even asked Ron to do all this, but he painted the new white outlets, switch covers, and also the brackets for the shelves. He understands how important this is for me not to have glaring white in my soft pink new office, he is just going to the max on it himself. He asked me yesterday to look on Amazon for the pink Venetian blinds, and he was OK with ordering them, even though they were more expensive than white ones in places like Walmart.

So the point is here at nearly 4 PM in the afternoon Ron is still working on the new room, Tupac is sleeping on our bed after being out all night scaring Ron half to death, and I am just starting to get to answering comments because I have felt so crappy. Hugs and loves.

It happened again

Hello wonderful people. I have to admit, it all got away from me again. Due to doctor’s appointments, health issues, and other things I was unable to get to the comments at the beginning of the week. Now the way I normally access both posts and comments is again blocked by WordPress. This morning I could use the bell and go back only three days, yet this afternoon I can only go back a day and half. I am trying to open and save every comment page, so I can reply to all the wonderful comments. Here is what I need to ask of you wonderful people. If you added your thoughts to a post and I did not reply in a reasonable amount of time, please, please alert me by adding a reminder on the post or linking to your comment on a newer post. I do want to reply to you, I love it and think it is important. But for a while I simply was not able due to my health. They still think I had a tia or other brain hiccup along with the other breathing / heart issues. It was scary for a while, my head was so cloudy and I struggled so to function. But I feel so much better now with the treatments from the heart doctor and the allergist. Anyway please if you did not get a reply to your comment and you would like one try to let me know. Thank you. Hugs

Struggling

I am trying to keep doing today. I have 35 open tabs on the other window, 8 on this one. I am not doing well, both physically and mentally. Ron keeps trying to comfort me, but even that seems not to help. He recommended I try to watch a movie or go to bed, but I think I would tear out of my own skin if I did not try to keep doing what I do.

Earlier at noon I was in such pain every bone in my body seemed to be screaming at me, every muscle seemed to be spasming and causing pain. In the morning, I had done the dishes and did not seem so uncomfortable, but an hour later the hard rain set in, and It changed everything, including my mood.

Recently we had changes in the home. I will be getting my original first office back. It is a room about 10 feet long by 11 feet wide. Ron originally took me out of that room because it was too dark for me during a time when my depression was very bad. He rebuilt the entire front room of the house, colored and decorated it to make it the best for me. I loved it.

When James moved back home, I was going to give up that large open bright room for him to have as his room as he liked it. I was to move into the new family room Ron had built, but the space I was going to move to was much smaller and was totally open with no privacy. But it was the best for everyone.

Then hurricane Ian ripped our home open. It tore my office half open, pealing the roof half off like a can opener with a mean streak, and the neighbors roofs hit our house with the result of pulling the entire south wall of the room out. That was when I was moved into the living room / kitchen. It is cramped, and I have to always wear headphones which hurt my ears when anyone is home or James was sleeping in the room I had originally had as my office, which was now his bedroom. Plus I am unable to do videos which I love and want to do. I really want to do videos. I know some of the people who come here are hearing impaired and I will do what I can but as I have said before typing is painful for me.

The roof and walls have been repaired in the front room. Short story Ron and James rebuilt the wall, fixed anything wrong with the other walls due to water damage, and replaced the first roof, and ran the electric. (we had an AMS metal roof over everything) and it was great going through two decades of hurricanes with no problem, and they are going to replace the entire roof over the home / all attached structures for $15,000. It is worth it, first the roof had a lifetime repair for free on it, and we have had them come fix minor things over the years. James and his friend even moved the hot tub from that room to the new family room Ron built.

James was to move into the rebuilt room as his, but he has other opportunities open to him now. We fully support him and are very glad he is happy. But that left the room he was in which was my first office, and the rebuilt front room which was my last office I was in before the hurricane open. What to do?

After going back and forth, Ron was convinced to use the much larger front room as the house living room, his domain. It took a lot of work on my part, he was all for returning me to that room. I would move back into the smaller room again, it is 10 foot by 11 foot, with some inches on each side. I have a reason for this. Hold on!

When Ron and I bought this house we were very much into the community, we had a lot of friends. Twice or three times or even more a week we had people over to the house for meals or game nights. But Ron was working 12 hour shifts and I am disabled. It was fun and we loved it, but I decided to try to return to the work force. A huge mistake. As anyone who followed my first blog knows, that put me in the hospital after 4 years and cost me my left hip joint.

Ron has since retired and things are different now, and there are still some non-maga people here. Ron and I feel it is time to return to the community again and start to have people over. But we have to have a home presentable for that.

After much medication and time my pain has subsided as has the horrible hard rain with clear skies and lots of sun. Ron has described to me how he wants to make the room brighter and more me. He is wanting to paint it and even have a new skylight put in when the roofing company does the roof.

It is now 7 or more hours since I started this post. I am now have eaten a really good supper Ron has made, I was folding laundry but yes I offered to help. He made a stir-fry of thin beef with veggies, and instead of rice he cubed fresh potatoes / deep-fried them. I am stuffed, and ready to go to bed.

I am not even sure I want to post this. As so often on personal issue posts, so much goes by that I don’t feel or have the issues that I had at the start. Yet it was what I was going through, and may / will go through soon again. So I feel I should share it with the readers / followers.

And just as I wrote this I started moving around after eating at my desk, getting food for Odie and putting it on a plate, then on the floor. My back screamed in pain. I gasped and Ron caught it, he asked me to go lay down or go to bed. He offered to come down and massage those muscles. So I will proofread this, leave the other window with 35 open tabs for another day. So much to read and post every day and now I am checking out early. Oh well, Ron is hovering over me really wanting me to close these computers down. So no real proofread, loves, hugs and all of that.

Oh I had to cancel my pulmonary test, they called today the day before with my costs, it was far too much. The woman on the phone admitted to me it was because my provider who ordered it referred it to be done at the hospital which he was in the same system as, which is much more expensive. So now I have to decided what to do? Hugs and good night. Ron won’t wait, I am on a timeline. Night. Hugs

How I looked four years ago

me for years ago

It’s that time again.

Yes it is time to change my avatar. I had to wait until my very sensitive skin was not chemical burned, well at least my face. So I took these this morning before leaving for my allergy shots appointment. Enjoy and if you have a favorite you think would make a great avatar, leave it in the comments below. BTW I am enjoying the long hair, it would destroy the hateful adoptive parents that abused me and insisted I have extremely short hair, almost skinhead style that was against the norms of the time. They did that to hurt and embarrass me, but now I can wear my hair anyway I want. Yes it is a pain in the butt sometimes, a lot of times actually. But I am not yet ready to cut it shorter. Ron who was a hairdresser and had his own salon tells me he absolutely must trim it up to keep it healthy and I trust him. I remember one time he cut my hair before I told him of my abuse and what was done / demanded of me, and he cut it shorter than I was wearing my hair at the time thinking it would be cute / easier for me. I sat there and cried but what was most horrible was I couldn’t tell him why. He never did that again. He now always shows me how much he might cut and is very careful to not trigger me. Dogs that love gravy he is a grand person! Oh but I have lost 15 pounds this year. Hugs

Allergy update

I start my allergy shots this week, and the sooner the better. All the troubles I have had with my heart, breathing, and with thinking came from needing my allergy shots and needing to stop the medications keeping my heart rate in check.

Here is the list of things I am allergic too, some at life-threatening levels, which is why I have EpiPens. Positive allergy test for Australian pine, Bermuda grass, dust mites, cat, cockroach, dog, cedar, nettle, short ragweed. Also food allergy test was positive for crab, lobster, and shrimp. Total IgE was 102 KU/L. But that was not all. Also there was this second set of testing. Positive allergy test for fire ant, wasp, yellow hornet, yellow jacket, and white faced hornet.

Interesting thing is to be allergic you have to react greater than the normal range of <0.10 and on most of the panels I was higher than that, some by a lot. For cats, I was not that bad, just 0.14 instead of <0.10. For dogs, I was 0.17 instead of <0.10. Most things like mite house dust I am 8.90 and to the house dust mites I am 10.70.

We long ago took steps to get rid of carpets and other things that trap the pollen. I stay inside most of the time. Ron cuts the grass. The only plant we have is in the family room and is a big friendship bamboo randy sent me. I have been taking allergy shots on and off since the 1990s. Every time I get to a maintenance dose and they think I have stopped reacting, they tell me I can stop the shots. But I gradually get sick again. Testing confirms my allergies have come back and some stronger. My allergist says he thinks I will just have to stay on the maintenance dose forever to have relief. Hugs