Donald Trump is issuing illegal orders to the military Read on Substack
Article 92 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) addresses the failure to obey orders, stating that service members must obey lawful orders. An order is considered unlawful if it requires a service member to commit a crime, violates the Constitution, or is otherwise illegal. Service members have a duty to refuse an order that is clearly illegal, as disobeying such an order can protect them from criminal liability.
Basically, this means that people in the military do not have to follow illegal orders, no matter who issues them, whether it’s from a sergeant or the president of the United States. Donald Trump and Republicans don’t like that soldiers were reminded of this.
Six democratic lawmakers posted a video to X last week where they said that “threats to our Constitution” are coming “from right here at home,” and repeatedly urged the military and intelligence community to “refuse illegal orders.” Trump and Republicans are calling this reminder “seditious” and that posting it was “treason.”
One could argue that Donald Trump and Republicans believe that exercising free speech is seditious and treasonous. (snip-MORE on the page)
Yeah, I know. Two days in a row with a new cartoon. And, I had a session this morning with my occupational therapist.
I wanted to know if it was OK that I was drawing cartoons, and that it wouldn’t necessarily hurt my shoulder more than it should be hurting. But my therapist told me that drawing was therapy. She even complimented me on my grip on my Apple Pencil.
I figured the hardest part in drawing this cartoon would be the lettering. And I was right. As usual, most of this was drawn with my right hand, and it was colored with my left hand. This is just something I wanted to get out before Thanksgiving.
As you know, I’m not a big fan of conspiracy theories, but I do make predictions based on past events. (snip-MORE on the page)
What did Trump know and when did he know it in regards to Epstein? Read on Substack
This caricature of Trump is the first drawing I have attempted since the stroke. Isn’t it crazy that I haven’t drawn anything in over a month? This was done with my left hand, and it was extremely difficult. I still don’t have enough stability with my right arm. I did hold a guitar pick for a few minutes today while strumming my Taylor 214. I’m not selling my guitars just yet. No, I do not plan to draw in the future with my left hand. Coincidentally enough, I drew it while waiting for an occupational therapist to arrive.
Trump and Epstein
Donald Trump is a horrible person. He is vile, corrupt, petty, mean, narcissistic, immature, greedy, dishonest, selfish, cruel, and evil, so naturally, he would be best friends with a pedophile.
“I have met some very bad people,” Jeffrey Epstein wrote in a 2017 email. “None as bad as Trump. Not one decent cell in his body.”
It’s not Epstein’s opinion of Trump that we should care about. After all, Jeffrey Epstein was a pedophile. Who cares about Trump’s opinion when he disses Joe Biden or Barack Obama? Does anyone really believe Jack Smith is a lunatic just because Trump says it? If we don’t care about Trump’s opinion about people, then we shouldn’t care about Jeffrey Epstein’s. I’m sure people don’t get worse than Jeffrey Epstein. So I don’t care about Epstein’s opinion; I care about his recollections.
Yesterday, House Democrats released emails in which Epstein wrote that Trump had “spent hours at my house” with one of his victims. And another email, Epstein wrote that Trump “knew about the girls.”
Speaker Mike Johnson no longer has a choice, and next week, the House will finally vote on whether or not to release all the investigative material it has on Jeffrey Epstein.
In one email to Ghislaine Maxwell, Epstein wrote, “I want you to realize that that dog that hasn’t barked is Trump.. [VICTIM] spent hours at my house with him.”
Epstein goes on to write that Trump “has never once been mentioned”, including by a “police chief”.
Maxwell replied, “I have been thinking about that.”
I wonder why Trump spent hours at Epstein’s house with one of his victims. But I don’t think it’s a mystery as to why Trump doesn’t want any of the investigative material to be released.
I believe Maxwell will have her sentence commuted when Trump believes it is politically safe to do so. She’s been given treatment for now until Trump feels he can make that commutation. This is an exchange for her not implicating Trump with Epstein’s pedophilia or labeling Trump as a pedophile himself.
Death by Lightning is a four-episode mini-series on Netflix about the assassination of James Garfield. If you are a history buff, such as myself, I believe you will thoroughly enjoy this show.
Did you know that November is Diabetes Awareness Month? Fortunately, for me, I am aware now that I have type 2 diabetes. So far, it’s not really that big of a deal for me. I mean, it’s a big deal that I’ve had to adjust my diet, nothing really tastes good anymore, I have to stick a needle in my stomach every night, I have to reward salt, as if I was a snail, and I may not ever have sushi with soy sauce, ever again, but other than that, it’s not a big deal. My goal at this point is that I do not ever lose a foot to it. But so far, my numbers have been good since I started managing it about a month ago. I am currently wearing a sensor on my arm, and my numbers have been low. I have lost weight since I found out, but that’s mostly because I spent half the month eating hospital food. As soon as I can walk again (and I’m taking baby steps), I will exercise more.
My appeal to you is that if you’re not aware whether or not you have diabetes, please get yourself checked out. I suspected I might be diabetic for a few years, but being the coward that I am, I refused to see a doctor until I had to. It was the same thing with my high blood pressure. I suspected it was bad, but I didn’t see a doctor until a stroke gave me no choice. If you suspect that you have high blood pressure, don’t ignore it like I did. I implore you to see a doctor and do something about it so that you don’t end up where I am right now. However, despite what happened, I am extremely lucky. It could’ve been worse.
Get yourself checked out. (snip-there is MORE on his substack, which deserves the clicks. He drew! *\0/* )
Here’s the latest signature. This was done on my iPad, which was a little sad for me because I hadn’t used it in over a month. I had to reboot my Procreate program, and there was some lag. Don’t worry, baby. Daddy’s coming home.
A hard part about writing my signature is controlling my arm and applying pressure. Someone mentioned that I should strum one of my guitars as physical therapy, but I think there are better exercises. Plus, not being able to strum a guitar only makes me sad. It’s almost as sad as not being able to draw.
So why did six Democrats (one Independent and whatever the fuck Fetterman is) cave in on the government shutdown? They had just overwhelmingly won elections in New York City, New Jersey, and Virginia last week. The public was correctly blaming Donald Trump and Republicans for the shutdown. Proof of that was Donald Trump’s fight with courts to prevent snap benefits from feeding the hungry. Are Democrats upset over flight delays? Are they afraid Thanksgiving would be ruined? What did they get for rolling over?
Michael De Adder correctly has them surrendering.
Fake cartoonists Margolis and Cox have them surrendering, too. I can’t tell what’s going on with the person in the left-hand corner because the artwork is so bad. Why didn’t they finish writing “government?” There is plenty of room.
In the new deal, SNAP and WIC will receive additional funding, and there are a few other modest concessions on spending levels elsewhere in the government. Laid-off federal workers will be rehired, and furloughed federal workers will be given back pay. But remember, this entire fight was over subsidies for the Affordable Care Act being suspended. In exchange for rolling over, Democrats got a promise from Republicans that there would be a vote on healthcare subsidies. Basically, Democrats got a promise from Republicans that they’ll think about it.
Ezra Klein, an opinion columnist for The New York Times, wrote,“This, in the end, is the calculation the defecting Senate Democrats are making: They don’t think a longer shutdown will cause Trump to cave. They just think it will cause more damage.”
I understand why Democrats may get that impression. Donald Trump is flying to Asia, playing golf, traveling to me MAGA-Lardo, going to football games for no fucking reason, and ramping up support to name the new stadium in Washington, DC after him, and it’s obvious he doesn’t care about people starving. So what does Trump care if the government shuts down? And what do Republicans care either? They’re all on vacation. Mike Johnson sent Republicans on vacation. They want Democrats to own the shutdown, but they’re not doing anything to end it.
It is especially frustrating because these Democrats have been in Washington, DC long enough to know better than to trust Republicans. I wouldn’t be surprised if Republicans never even hold a vote on the subsidies for the Affordable Care Act. I mean, House Republicans did not make this deal, so they don’t have to hold a vote on the subsidies. Only Senate Republicans have promised to hold a vote.
Kicking Lucy’s football is a lazy trope, but John Darkow has it right that Democrats are nothing but a bunch of suckers.
Chuck Schumer did not vote for this plan, but do you blame him as the Democratic Senate leader for it happening, as Dave Whamond has cartooned about here? Personally, whether Schumer deserves part of the blame or not, doesn’t matter in concerning his fate, as he has always been a weak leader.
Democrats have the view that Donald Trump is not caving, thus they’re caving into in without even negotiating. Are you telling me that Donald Trump’s strategy of not giving a fuck is working to sway Democrats?
Chris Britt has it right that these eight are nothing but a bunch of chickens.
Mike Luckovich sure this cartoon last week or so, but now I believe it’s the Democrats, who are curving themselves up. If nothing else, they’re serving Obamacare up for the slaughter.
I don’t think anyone has explained the healthcare subsidy situation better than Matt Davies has. As someone who is benefiting from Obamacare and government subsidies, I feel like we’re getting rolled over.
And Steve…
I know you get reprints when you don’t blame anyone specific, but it wasn’t just Congress that was responsible for the shutdown. Maybe someday you’ll be able to cartoon about issues after you understand them.
This was almost as cowardly as…
…when Ramirez was afraid to blame Donald Trump for pardoning George Santos. Seriously, Michael… “they” did not pardon George Santos. Only one person could have pardoned George Santos, and I don’t know if you know how the Constitution works, but it doesn’t say that person is “they.”
Was Rudy Giuliani guilty of trying to help Trump steal the 2020 election? Donald Trump thinks he is. That’s why he got a pardon this week. This isn’t like Joe Biden giving his son and Dr. Anthony Fauci pardons, Fauci being preemptive, because Donald Trump has proved those were necessary as he has turned the entire Justice Department into his personal attack dog, and is ordering it to go after his political enemies and seek revenge. But nobody was really going after Rudy on criminal charges in federal courts. A pardon does not save Rudy from paying out the civil judgment from the Georgia election workers any more than it stops his farts or black shoe dye from running down his skull.
Bill Bramhall, who was a couple of days after Lucko’s turkey, caught that this pardon was in the right season.
Along with Giuliani, Trump pardoned John Eastman, a corrupt lawyer who advised Trump’s 2020 campaign; Mark Meadows, the former White House chief of staff; Boris Epshteyn, a presidential adviser; and Sidney Powell, an insane lawyer who blamed conspiracy theories for Trump’s defeat to Joe Biden. None of these people has been charged in federal courts, though they have been charged in state courts. Trump’s pardons are only symbolic as they don’t protect his friends from state charges.
This is another example of Trump using the presidency to help himself and his friends and not the American people. This is what happens when a felon gets pardon powers.
I’m sick of the new normal, which includes pandering to a 79-year-old toddler. Part of this new normal is naming shit after Trump. There’s talk of renaming the Kennedy Center after Donald Trump. There’s talk of renaming the metro system in Washington, DC after Trump, the $1000 savings account for newborns is called the Trump account, lawmakers had proposed renaming Dulles International Airport after Trump, and now, Trump is demanding that the new football stadium on the old RFK Stadium site be named after him. Donald Trump didn’t have anything to do with securing the stadium deal any more than he did with ending the war between Hamas and Israel.
As for the Metro, a Republican introduced a bill that threatened to withhold federal funding for Washington’s rail system unless the name was changed to the Trump train. Why? There’s no fucking reason given for this fealty to Trump. Republicans want to hold funding hostage, not for any policies or improvement, but just to name the system after Donald Trump. I seriously doubt Donald Trump has ever taken a ride on the Metro.
As you may know from reading this blog, I love Subway systems. I use the Metro more than any other train system, and it’s one I know very well. I will take it as a personal insult if the name is officially changed to the fucking Trump Train. This will be an insult to the entire city of Washington, and no longtime resident of the city will ever refer to it as the goddamn Trump Train.
I have said it before, and I will say it again. This is some Saddam Hussein-level bullshit. Of course, Republicans don’t care about the optics anymore.
I’m very surprised the Supreme Court refused to revisit gay marriage. You know if zealots Clarence Thomas and Amy Coney Barrett had their way, they would try to overturn it the same way they did with Roe. Precedent doesn’t mean anything to the Supreme Court anymore. Neither does the Constitution nor the law. SCOTUS would rather go by the Old Testament than by the United States Constitution.
Donald Trump is promising tariff payments to middle-income Americans. He said, “We’re going to issue a dividend to our middle-income people and lower-income people of about $2,000. And we’re going to use the remaining tariffs to lower our debt.”
Two things: this contradicts his argument that tariffs are not taxes being paid by American consumers, and his tariffs aren’t bringing in enough revenue to give everyone $2,000. If you make Americans pay these tariff dividends from the budget, then aren’t Americans paying for the dividends just like they’re paying for the tariffs? Donald Trump doesn’t even have any details for this new plan. He thinks it’s magic money that’s going to appear out of thin air.
Donald Trump wants the tariffs to pay off the deficit. American consumers are paying the tariffs. Donald Trump wants to pay American consumers out of the debt for paying for the tariffs. You don’t need to be an economics major to know that this is madness.
As Bill points out, it’s the tariff, stupid. If Democrats do come out winning over Trump’s tariff policy, I’m sure they will find a way to blow it.
Donald Trump is now demanding that the BBC apologize to him for editing part of a video of his speech before the January 6 attack, and to pay him lots of money, or he will sue them for $1 billion. This sounds like Dr. Evil threatening the BBC.
As Jack points out, ethics are lapsing with the American media. Now, when 60 Minutes interviews him (after CBS allowed him to bribe them), it’s about as ethical as when Fox News does not give him follow-up questions.
Trump believes the video made him sound more violent than he really was, ignoring that the attack on January 6 was violent and an attempt to overturn the 2020 election. But as usual, Donald Trump is demanding to be bribed. The American press has failed to stand firm against Donald Trump and his threats, so I hope the British press does not give in. I need to believe in something.
Joel Pett points out what Donald Trump wants edited out.
This is one reason why I like to have the BBC as one of the four channels in the multiview feature.
Have you heard of Mar-a-Lago face? Usually, people who have a little work done don’t want to advertise it. Most people lie about it when questioned. But now it seems that they’re all going the Kristi Noem route, and going for the Melania. Having your lips filled and being proud of it is very much a Palm Beach thing, but now it’s extending to Washington, DC. Now there are MAGAts in Washington who are having work done, and they’re proud of it. They want everyone to know, which means their faces look fucking stupid. It seems the facelift of Washington isn’t just going to be in the city. I guess collagen-filled lips are better for kissing Donald Trump’s ass with. Dammit, that’s a political cartoon.
If I see a bunch of Kristie Noems on the “Trump Train,” I’m going to lose my shit. Last June, during Trump’s birthday parade, I did tell some MAGAts on the metro to fuck Trump. A MAGAt’s right to free speech to wear that ugly cap on the Metro also applies to my free speech to tell them to go fuck themselves.
Let’s talk about some stroke stuff. I am currently wearing a temporary heart sensor. I hate it. Since I got out of the hospital, it’s been the bane of my existence.
I recently transferred to the rehab center, which is just across the street from the hospital. Today I took a cognitive test, I took a speech pattern test, and I took a physical test. Every day from here on out, I will be taking a physical test, which we call PT. They usually wanna work people till they wanna quit, but they haven’t had that problem with me yet, not because I’m super amazing or awesome, but because I really want to beat this shit as quickly as I can.
My friend Melissa Colombo came by and brought me some clothes. Nobody can go on Facebook and ask people to bring them shorts, T-shirts, and underwear while they’re in a rehab center, but I can. Hell, I once got people to send me self-addressed stamped envelopes for messed-up business cards. But I sent out a request on Facebook for someone to bring me some shorts and T-shirts to the rehab center. All I had this morning was just a road in the hospital, and my ass was hanging out.
A few people offered to ship me stuff, but that wasn’t the issue. I have money. I could easily order something. But I need something now because, let me put that again, my ass was hanging out. So my friend Melissa brought me some clothes. Funny thing is, someone else went ahead and quickly ordered me some stuff, and that was Leslie Elliott.
I want to thank Melissa and Leslie for literally saving my ass.
The next 10 days are going to be more PT. I am expected to be in this place for at least 10 days. After that, I’m expected to go home. The thing is, I live in a second-level apartment, and I want to be able to walk into my apartment and take care of myself again. Unfortunately, I’m nowhere close to that yet. Walking, taking steps, things are extremely difficult right now, and even grabbing things is impossible, but I am further today than I was yesterday.
If you have donated to me either by becoming a paid subscriber to my Substack, or donated through PayPal, or donated through Venmo, or donated through Zelle, and I have not sent you a message, please accept my apologies. I want to thank everybody who has supported me through this. The outpouring of support has blown me away. In fact, it’s blown away the entire cartooning community. We are all very impressed and overwhelmed by your support, especially me. I just wanna say thank you. I’m never going to stop saying thank you.
And on that note, I was just visited by a former photographer from the Free Lance-Star, Suzanne Carr Rossi. She brought me pants.
And now the Facebook updates from the past few days.
Today, October 16, 2025
Remember when Donald Trump took that cognitive test and bragged about it? Remember that he had to repeat “person, woman, man, camera, TV”. Trump said. “They said nobody gets it in order, it’s actually not that easy. But for me it was easy. And that’s not an easy question.” He is right.
It’s not an easy question when you have to answer five minutes later.
It’s not easy when the question is “bridge, Sarah, justice, banana.” It’s not easy when you have to remember photos that include car keys, a comb, and a helicopter five minutes later.
It’s not easy when you have to remember letters and numbers in the sequence of 1, A, 2, B, 3, C, 4, D, etc, to ten.
It’s not easy to count backwards from 20.
It’s not easy to have to draw a clock and other shapes with your left hand when you’re handed and your right hand is kind of dead from a stroke.
It’s not easy to do any of the stuff after having a stroke, but I did it. The thing is, nobody told me I was great or amazing for it. Sicophants didn’t fawn over me for it. Nobody threw a parade for me because I remembered five words. Idiots didn’t go until late-night TV to tell me I was a genius for it.
Donald Trump wants you to treat him like a baby for remembering five words.
Donald Trump never suffered from a stroke.
So why was Donald Trump given this cognitive test?
Who knew that my stroke would become part of my research?
October 16, 2025
Ok, Peezeheads!!! Who wants to volunteer to help out a stroke victim, and possibly an opportunity to see my ass?
I am at Encompass in Fredericksburg. I need someone to bring me a few button-up shirts. I can’t use a T-shirt because my shoulder is messed up from the stroke. I also need a pair of shorts. I just need athletic shorts, nothing with buttons or belts, or zippers. 
I could also use some underwear.
At this time, I am still wearing the gown from the hospital, and my ass is hanging out. Fortunately, the entire nursing staff has told me that my butt is not too hairy, but maybe they’re just being nice. 
Update: I am only asking local people to help. I need this stuff today, not delivered by Amazon. Thank you.
Update update: Melissa Colomboto the rescue, and then Leslie Elliott, and my friend Suzanne.
October 15, 2025
So many people have touched me this week, and I’ll never be able to you how much it means to me.
As I was being rolled out on a gurney to be taken to the rehab center, an old friend I hadn’t seen in nearly a decade was waiting outside my hospital room to see me.
I want to cry. I love you, Rhonda.
October 15, 2025
I had an MRI this morning after the procedure scan my heart. They were looking to see if there was a hole or any other abnormalities in my heart that may have caused the stroke. As it turns out, there’s nothing wrong with it.
But the MRI was brutal. You can’t move, your back hurts, you don’t know when it’s going to end, you are continuously being asked to hold your breath, and they’re playing 90s music made by other people. Instead of Pearl Jam, you’re getting Pearl lame.
It’s time to go. They want more blood.
October 15, 2025
I am being moved tonight to a rehab facility. I think this is good news. 
October 15, 2025
One of my nurses was training another nurse this morning. Just as the trainee was applying alcohol to my skin, in order for me to inject myself with insulin (yes they are making me inject myself), I decided let out a little scream. AAAAAGH! The trainee jumped, and the other nurse laughed her ass off, and said that was great.
They both said that they’re going to remember me.
Damn straight.
This is the GoFundMe set up by Kevin Necessary and Jack Ohman
This is a cartoon drawn by John Buss.
How to draw Peezy by Dave Whammond, and he’s trying to get more cartoonists to join in. I hope it happens because I would love to see more of my colleagues’ renditions of our favorite pizza.
I haven’t posted Clay Jones’s work in a while, though I’ve read it on Substack. His work is important, but I haven’t had the heart to post it; we all know what’s happening all around us, and I’d rather post solutions and mental health minutes. Anyway, this is news that is not good, though it could be so much worse. sigh
Unfortunately, this week I had a stroke and my right side is partially paralyzed. This means the streak is over, and I have to relearn how to use my hand and my voice.
Please bear with me until I figure this out. I appreciate everyone’s love and concern. I will see you when I see you.
This post was made with great difficulty using voice messaging. Please do not call or message me.
I love you all,
Clay Jones
Oh yeah. They also discovered I am diabetic, and of course, the Eurotrip is off. (snip)
Trump has tried several deflections from the Epstein Files, including revoking Rosie O’Donnell’s citizenship, forcing the Washington Commanders to change its name back to the racist one, claiming President Obama committed treason by ordering an investigation into Russia’s election meddling in 2016, and now Mexican Coca-Cola.
The Coca-Cola available in the USA is made with corn syrup. The Coca-Cola made in Mexico is made with cane sugar. A lot of people claim the soft drink made with sugar tastes better than the version made with corn syrup. I’m sure I had it when I was younger, but I don’t remember if it was better.
I do love Coca-Cola. I do think Coke in a glass bottle tastes better than it does in plastic. Sometimes, fountain Cokes, depending on where you get them, taste better than all of them. I grew up drinking Coca-Cola. (snip-MORE)
And a reminder since there will be people who try to change the narrative of this cartoon: Criticizing the Israeli government and its policies is not antisemitic.
Back in 2000, the guys from South Park, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, created a new TV series titled That’s My Bush. Guess who it was about. While the series included topics like abortion, the death penalty, drugs, drilling in the Arctic Wildlife Refuge, and gun control, it was mostly a hit on family-based sitcoms, except this family just so happened to live in the White House. It came complete with an annoying neighbor. The main character, George W. Bush, would say to his wife, Laura Bush, “One of these days, Laura, I’m gonna punch you in the face!”
You would expect a show from the South Park guys about George W. Bush to rip the president apart. While it did make him out to be an idiot, he was also a lovable oaf with good intentions. He was not hateful, evil, or mean. Though it did hit Dick Cheney pretty good, and showed him commit a hostile takeover in one episode, and Bush temporarily became a Luchadore professional wrestler until he was restored to office. Critics loved the show, but it was too expensive for a small network like Comedy Central. It only lasted eight episodes. Even if it had been renewed, I’m sure 9/11, which occurred five months after the last episode aired, would have killed it.
The show was planned to be about a President Al Gore, but surprising Parker and Stone, Florida happened, so the entire thing had to be rewritten.
One thing that did not happen was outrage expressed by the Bush administration. I’m sure there were people in the White House who were aware of it, and either snickered at it or were outraged, but these were the days when most people in government were adults.
President Bush never stood in the driveway howling to reporters about the losers lampooning him on TV, or talked about low ratings, or how they were the stupid ones, not him, etc, etc. These were the days before social media, but I still don’t think Bush would have cried to his base on Twitter. The Bush administration ignored it. (snip-MORE)
Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche, who used to be Donald Trump’s criminal defense lawyer, spent nine hours over two days interviewing Jeffrey Epstein associate Ghislaine Maxwell about the Epstein case.
Maxwell is serving a 20-year prison sentence for aiding Epstein in the sex trafficking of minors. As you know, the deceased pedophile committed suicide in a New York jail while waiting to stand trial.
The Justice Department has granted Maxwell “limited immunity,” just so long as she tells the truth. That “truth” will be what the Trump administration wants to hear. Trump’s name is in the Epstein Files…a lot. Attorney General Pam Bondi warned Trump before she announced the files wouldn’t be released.
Maxwell’s attorney, David Markus, told ABC News on Friday that Maxwell was asked about “maybe 100 different people” and “She didn’t hold anything back.” I’m sure she and her attorney have figured out what they need to say, which is what Trump’s criminal attorney needs to hear.
Maxwell’s attorney also said, “This is not a situation where we are asking for anything in return for testimony or anything like that. Of course, everybody knows Ms. Maxwell would welcome any relief.” Wink-wink, nudge-nudge, pardon-pardon.
When asked if he was considering giving Mazwell a pardon or commuting her sentence, right before he jumped on Air Force One at our expense to play golf in Scotland, Trump said he hasn’t thought about it, but he does have the “power” to do it.
Trump also said he trusts Todd Blanche. This is the setup. This is what will happen. (snip-MORE)
Elon Musk got into a little tiffy-tiff with Peter Navarro, and I have to say, I like seeing these guys destroy each other.
You can’t choose a side between Elon and Navarro. You can only hope both lose. It’s like trying to choose a side during the war between Iraq and Iran (the US picked Iraq), or when the Dallas Cowboys play the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, or when the Atlanta Braves plays of the two baseball teams in Florida, or a fight between the insurance emu or Flo from Progressive, or Ice T in Carshield commercials vs gutter filter commercials, or a contest between Nickelback and the Kars4Kids song, or a battle between ketchup on hotdogs and Domino’s Pizza.
Side note: I just Googled to make sure it is Ice T in those stupid Carshield commercials, and just because I’m trying to be accurate and informative to serve you, I’m going to get thousand of Carshield ads in all my shit now. You’re welcome.
If you see two fucknuts in MAGA caps in a slap fight, you don’t choose a side, and for the love of god, you don’t break it up. You should get some popcorn and encourage each fighter. “Kick him in the nuts! Yeah, that’s how you do it. Hey, other guy. Are you going to let him get away with kicking you in the nuts like that?”
In case you don’t remember, Peter Navarro is a lying sack of turds. He was the director of the National Trade Council in the first Trump administration (sic), then director of the Office of Trade and Manufacturing Policy. Now, in Trump 2.0 (sic), he’s senior counselor for Trade and Manufacturing. He’s also the first official from Trump’s White House (sic) to serve time in prison for trying to steal the 2020 election. Now, there are at least two felons in the White House.
This week, Navarro “guaranteed” the Trump tariff war will not bring a recession, just like he guaranteed there wouldn’t be a pandemic from COVID-19. Instead of investing in stocks, I’d rather place wagers on Peter Navarro being wrong about things.
But what’s going on between him and Elon?
Last Saturday, a poster on Twitter/X defended Navarro’s intellect as a voice on trade. This is like when a MAGAt tries to tell us that Trump knows what he’s doing. Navarro is a big part of Trump’s trade policies. Musk replied that Navarro’s Harvard Ph.D. suggested he had more ego than brains and that he “ain’t built shit.”
Musk has criticized Trump’s tariff war, and the two-day stock market crash, before coming back and crashing again, cost Elon at least $18 billion in Tesla stock. It’s kinda difficult to tell someone the tariffs are working when that someone just lost $18 billion because of the tariffs.
Then, Elon addressed an Italian political party (think of Nazis with risotto) by video and said, “Both Europe and the United States should move, ideally, in my view, to a zero-tariff situation, effectively creating a free trade zone between Europe and North America.” That goes against Trump’s stance (for now), whose trade policy is wildly going in the opposite direction.
Navarro, who has been defending Trump’s tariffs, has said Trump’s tariffs will bring in over $600 billion in new annual revenue. That can’t be true at all because Trump is calling on other nations to negotiate, so these tariffs will eventually be reduced, either by negotiations or Trump chickening out because his balls dropped off again. If that is Trump’s intention (not his balls dropping off but reducing the tariffs), then we won’t be getting new revenue every year of $600 billion. But, if we do get $600 billion revenue from these Trump tariffs, it will be from American consumers. Navarro should be capable of understanding this because he has a PhD in economics from Harvard.
Navarro has written a dozen books which most economists call bullshit. Despite Navarro’s PhD from Harvard in economics, he believes a trade war with higher tariffs will allow us to cut more taxes. I don’t have a PhD in economics from Harvard, but I still know that tariffs are taxes on American consumers. Duh.
Navarro and Musk don’t agree on trade. So, after an insult from Elon, Navarro sent one back, saying Elon wasn’t a car manufacturer, just an assembler of parts. Uh oh.
Elon responded to the video (which we don’t need to watch), saying, “Navarro is truly a moron.” He also said Navarro is “dumber than a sack of bricks.”
And then Elon tweeted about 20 more times to defend himself and his shitty cars.
Elon is right about this. Peter Navarro is a moron who is dumber than a sack of bricks, but Elon is a moron, too. Elon is a lying Nazi-supporting moron.
But Elon got the better of this since he told Navarro to consult with economist Ron Vara. Who? Ron Vara is an economist Navarro has quoted in several of his stupid books. The only thing wrong with that is Ron Vara doesn’t exist. It’s an anagram of “Navarro.” Peter Navarro has to quote a fictional economist because he can’t find a real economist who shares his dumbasseconomic beliefs, probably because they’re fucking insane. Navarro is that one guy in the office who’ll advise that today’s lunch should be from Blimpies (I just finished 30 Rock).
Even Elon’s brother, Kimbal, said, “Who would have thought that Trump was actually the most high tax American President in generations?” He also said, “Through his tariff strategy, Trump has implemented a structural, permanent tax on the American consumer.”
This is like Rob Gronkowski knowing FTX cryptocurrency wasn’t real money before Tom Brady lost $30 million in it.
White House spokesgoon Karoline Leavitt was asked about the sparring between Elon and Navarro, and she explained it with, “Boys will be boys, and we will let their public sparring continue.”
Oh, yeah. Leavitt is also a moron.
Maybe Trump is getting all of his trade advice from Gronk.
By the way, this is what inspired this cartoon.
Creative note: I have five ideas in my folder to choose from for the next few days. I felt this would be the best for today. This cartoon was so quick to draw that the files of it that I sent to my clients may be the smallest I’ve ever sent. The files with crowd scenes and lots of Easter eggs are huge.
Music note: I listened to Queens of the Stone Age.
Trump is putting tariffs on places where there are no exports…or humans. Read on Substack
The two major things about tariffs that Donald Trump doesn’t know are that tariffs are taxes and trade wars don’t work.
Trump may finally be starting to understand it’s American consumers who pay for tariffs, as he said in February that we may feel a little “disturbance” from them, and the “ultimate fruits of tariffs will be worth the pain.” In Trumpese, that means there’s going to be a HUGE disturbance (like living next door to a frat house) and pain, similar to a barbed wire catheter.
The people who don’t feel pain from tariffs are rich people, especially billionaire assholes like Trump and Elon Musk. Dickless fucos don’t have to worry about barbed wire catheters.
Trump called yesterday “Liberation Day,” which doesn’t make sense at all when it leads to Americans paying higher prices. By the way, I was in a grocery store last night, and the cheapest dozen of eggs was $5.35, and they got as high as $7 plus.
In yesterday’s announcement, Trump said, “For years, hardworking American citizens who were forced to sit on the sidelines as other nations got rich and powerful, much of it at our expense. But now it’s our turn to prosper and in so doing, use trillions and trillions of dollars to reduce our taxes and pay down our national debt.”
This is bullshit because the United States has the largest Gross Domestic Product (GDP). We have the largest economy in the world (thanks, Joe Biden). Our GDP is $90,000. By comparison with another rich nation, Germany’s is $58,000. This is also how Trump acts at tax time, crying that his buildings aren’t worth the amount he claims on loan applications.
Tariffs don’t reduce our taxes. It’s an additional tax. For the dunderheads who may be reading this, let’s say you increase tariffs on products coming from Heard Island, where only penguins live. Since penguins don’t actually export anything, we’ll have to make something up. Let’s say they export shiny rocks because I think I read somewhere that before a dude penguin can shag a nice lady penguin, he has to give her a shiny rock. So, these penguins are exporting shiny impressive rocks for wooing, and suddenly they have to pay a ten percent export tax to sell in the United States. The importer, NOT the exporting penguins, has to pay this tax. Do you think Walmart eats this ten percent? Of course not. You do, or whoever shops where they sell shiny penguin rocks from Heard Island (and McDonald Island.
Also, you can’t pay off the national debt with tariffs. The tariffs are designed to discourage Americans from purchasing foreign goods. If that works, then nobody’s going to pay those tariffs. The other idea is to force other nations to lower their tariffs, and if that works, then we lower ours again, and nobody’s paying for those high tariffs.
Ya see, kids, if the shiny rocks become too expensive for American consumers, then they stop buying them, and then the penguins will stop exporting them. That’s called supply and demand.
By the way, the shiny-rock trick works with humans, too. The rocks are just more expensive.
I’m not an expert on tariffs (nor shiny rocks), but it seems I understand it a lot better than the President (sic) of the United States. Feel free to correct me in the comments if I’m wrong on any of this.
Trump also said during his announcement, “The United States charges other countries only a 2.4 percent tariff on motorcycles. Meanwhile, Thailand and others are charging much higher prices, like 60 percent. India charges 70 percent, Vietnam charges 75 percent, and others are even higher than that. Likewise, until today, the United States has for decades charged a 2.5 tariff. Think of that 2.5 percent on foreign-made automobiles. The European Union charges us more than 10 percent tariffs.”
All that’s complicated as tariffs from a specific nation aren’t usually a flat rate, but are different per product. First, Trump’s numbers are wrong. Secondly, while we have low tariffs for imported cars, we charge a 25 percent tariff on pickup trucks, which is higher than what Europe charges for imported cars.
Trump ignores that Europe is our largest trading partner, and if they retaliate with “reciprocal” tariffs, then that hurts American manufacturers, and then DOGE won’t be the only one firing American workers.
Trump said, “Toyota sells 1 million foreign-made automobiles into the United States, and General Motors sells almost none. Ford sells very little. None of our companies are allowed to go into other countries.”
More lies. Our cars can go into other countries. China loves large American cars while Japan, which is a smaller nation geographically, does not. It’s not that our cars can’t be sold in Japan, but it’s that Japanese drivers don’t want them. Until two years ago, General Motors sold more cars in China than they did in the United States.
Trump said, “And with countries like Canada, you know, we subsidize a lot of countries and keep them going and keep them in business. In the case of Mexico, it’s $300 billion a year. In the case of Canada, it’s close to $200 billion a year.”
Lies. Our trade deficit with Mexico is NOT $300 billion but instead, it’s $172 billion. With Canada, it’s NOT $200 billion, but instead, $45 billion. These numbers are extremely easy to look up.
Trump said, “Canada, by the way, imposes a 250 to 300 percent tariff on many of our dairy products. They do the first, the first can of milk, they do the first little carton of milk at a very low price. But after that it gets bad, and then it gets up to 275, 300 percent.”
The truth is, this was the case, but it was renegotiated in the North American Free Trade Agreement during Trump’s first term (sic).
Trump also gave a history lesson. “Then in 1913, for reasons unknown to mankind, they established the income tax so that citizens, rather than foreign countries, would start paying the money necessary to run our government. Then, in 1929, it all came to a very abrupt end with the Great Depression, and it would have never happened if they had stayed with the tariff policy; it would have been a much different story.”
Trump sucks at history because the reasons are known. Lower-income people pay tariffs, so an income tax was added with the expectation wealthier Americans would take more of the burden, but as we have learned since 1913, Billionaire assholes aren’t all that ethical. I heard about one billionaire who doesn’t pay his contractors, lawyers, or taxes.
Trump says the Great Depression wouldn’t have hit if America “had stayed with the tariff policy,” yet it’s the tariff policy, the Smoot-Hawley Act, that raised tariffs, started a trade war that decreased world trade by 66 percent, and contributed to the Great Depression and World War II. Herbert Hoover signed Smoot-Hawley into law. The Northwest Progressive Institute ranks Hoover as our 39th best president. It ranks Trump dead last, and he hasn’t even started his depression and World War III yet.
Bragging about tariffs from his first term (sic), Trump said, “If you look at China, I took in hundreds of billions of dollars in my term.”
Lies. He took in $75 billion from China, paid by American consumers, and had to bail out American farmers at the cost of $28 billion to American taxpayers after China retaliated. What you wanna bet those farmers voted for Trump? Yee-haw, fuckers.
Now, what do penguins have to do with any of this?
Heard Island and McDonald Islands are among several “external territories” of Australia that Trump has hit with ten percent tariffs. The World Bank’s data says the United States imported $1.4 million of products from Heard Island and McDonald Island in 2022, nearly all of which were “machinery and electrical” imports.
What makes those numbers suspect is that it’s believed no human has set foot on either island in the past decade. With the islands closer to Antartica than to Perth, it takes a two-week boat ride to get to the islands (they don’t have airports). The life you find on these islands are seals and birds, and the birds are mostly four species of penguins. Those penguins are king, gentoo, macaroni, and eastern rockhopper. I did not know there was a macaroni penguin. That’s the kind of shit that distracts me from finishing a blog because I have to Google “macaroni penguins.” Holy crap, they have huge yellow eyebrows.
The tariffs on two of the most remote islands in the world where no products are exported from, or where humans don’t even visit, proves that the Trump administration hasn’t fully studied tariffs. If they’re placing tariffs on penguins, then how much have they studied the tariffs they’re placing on the French or British? How high are the tariffs on Thighland and Yo-Semite? Shit, don’t steal that for a cartoon, my political-cartooning colleagues!
Also, these tariffs are NOT reciprocal, as Trump claims. It’s not like those penguins were charging us a ten percent tariff to start this trade war.
Penguins are notorious for not paying their debts. If you loan a penguin ten bucks, you will never see that ten bucks again, and he’ll probably waste it all on anchovies. How are we supposed to collect tariff taxes from freeloading flightless birds? All those penguins in zoos are on welfare and don’t pay for food or housing. And I hear the seals aren’t much better. They do more arfing than tariff-paying. The Internal Australian Revenue Service has reported it has never received a payment from penguins, and not even in shiny rocks. Penguins are almost as bad at paying their bills as Donald Trump.
We’ll see penguins fly before we ever see a check.
Creative note: I would have done something on a McDonald’s tariff, Trump’s favorite food, if penguins weren’t a part of the story.
This is a local cartoon drawn for the FXBG Advance, which is looking into the ways Trump’s Executive Orders will affect the 540 region.
I think it’s funny when readers of mine who don’t live here mention Gary the Goose. A lot of people were making Gary the Goose the region’s mascot, but I wasn’t aware of that until he disappeared. Maybe he didn’t want the job and that’s why he left. Or, maybe he heard about Trump’s tariffs and planning to make Canada the 51st state, so he protested by flying back to Canada. Or, maybe when the otters came back, they said, “Beat it, Goose.”
Or maybe Gary, who got used to being around humans, paddled too close to the Stafford side of the river, which is full of yee-haw fuckers, and Gary the Goose’s goose got cooked.
Creative note: I was thinking last week that I needed to get the train bridge into a local cartoon. I also got a Rappahannock Otter into a cartoon. I asked my editor, Martin, if Gary was starting to get a little long in the tooth. Is he still relevant? He’s been missing for about a year, I think. We decided that if it’s funny, then we still go with it.
Also, a proofer didn’t get the cartoon and neither did a friend. I was like, whaaaaat?
Dear Laura: I got your check for a paid membership (anyone can do that), but I can’t find your email address. Please email me at clayjonz@gmail.com so I can get you up and running. We want your comments. I’m starting to think Gary the Goose will be found before we find Laura.
Another update: When I publish these cartoons for the Advance, I make sure to state on social media that they’re on local issues. I don’t get upset when readers who don’t live here don’t get the local cartoons. Why should you understand it? What does make me pull my hair out is when readers complain they don’t understand it even though I left a comment with the cartoon on social media that it’s on a local issue. Sheesh. Now if you do live here and don’t get it, that’s on me.
Tomorrow is the fourth anniversary of Donald Trump’s white nationalist insurrection, when he called MAGA terrorists to come to Washington, DC on January 6, 2021, to stop the certification of Joe Biden’s election victory over him.
Trump lost the 2020 election fair and square.
Trump is the first president to refuse a peaceful transfer of power. He refused to cooperate with Biden’s transition team, a courtesy President Barack Obama extended in 2016 and after Trump’s victory last November (gag), President Biden extended to him as well. Both Democratic presidents hosted President-Elect (sic) Trump in the White House.
Trump ordered his MAGAts to attempt the insurrection after failing to overturn the election through court challenges, installing fake electors, calling election officials to intimidate them into giving him extra votes that didn’t exist, and even having his goons harass and intimidate election workers.
Trump’s white nationalist terrorists assaulted at least 174 Capitol Police officers on January 6, 2021, with 15 hospitalized. There was one death from a stroke and four suicides afterward. They also caused over $30 million in damages which Trump should pay for.
Two of the terrorists died from natural causes, one died from a drug overdose, and another, Ashley Babbit, died from a gunshot wound.
Over 1,500 were arrested, including Donald Trump. This nation has forgotten about the insurrection and has returned Trump to the presidency (sic). After January 20, Donald Trump plans to pardon all of the white nationalist terrorists who attacked our nation.
These people were looking to murder Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Vice President Mike Pence. Now, they will be rewarded.
I had a Lyft driver on New Year’s Eve ask me why I don’t support Donald Trump and I answered, “Because I love my country.” The elderly white driver (surprise) replied, “Donald Trump does too.” I have a serious inability to tolerate bullshit and I probably got a one-star rating from him after I replied to his response, “Donald Trump does too.” Thankfully, he made his dumbass ignorant comment near the end of the ride, where a guy ambushed me with Jesus pamphlets. I went straight from Trump freak to Jesus freak. I was glad I was getting out of town.
That’s our country for you today. Half this nation believes Donald Trump was right to send white nationalist terrorists to attack the Capitol to make him an unelected dictator or they don’t care.
Marjorie Taylor Greene doesn’t just want to ignore January 6, but she wants to make it a national holiday. Hey, we’ll all get a day off. MTG is also concerned that a snowstorm tomorrow will “disrupt” Trump’s certification. That’s rich.
Speaker-hanging-by-a-thread Mike Johnson doesn’t want to investigate January 6 but investigate the investigators. The new Department of Justice under Donald Trump and Pam Bondi will be looking to prosecute people like Rep. Bennie Thompson, who chaired the J6 Committee, and former GOP Rep. Liz Cheney, who co-chaired the committee. The DOJ may also be weaponized against people like Special Counsel Jack Smith, Attorney General Merrick Garland, and even President Joe Biden.
Other Republicans encouraged J6, attempted to dox Speaker Pelosi’s location, gave them pre-insurrection tours, and later called the attackers “protesters” and “tourists.” Goons gotta goon.
On January 6, some will celebrate. I will encourage you to remember that our incoming president (sic) is a terrorist and a national security threat.
Two days that will make me sick to my stomach this month is tomorrow, January 6, and January 20.
I’m gonna get drunk.
Creative note: Both of my proofers had disgusted reactions to this cartoon which is exactly what I was going for. Also, I hate layers in Procreate. This cartoon has nearly 40 of them. I would usually just write “pardon” over and over again, but I thought the placement would work better with the layers, but that’s just as much of a PITA to me as lettering. My layer-loving friend and colleague Phil Hands should be happy.
Scottie's Playtime 