I am angry.

I have not been well.   I have heart rates in the high 140’s.  Twice I have gone into serious atrial fibrillation territory.  Yes heart attack or heart shut down.   The doctors are changing my medications to get my heart rate, my pain, my other issues under control.   I get very few hours right now on the computer to read what I think is worth reading and even less to share it.   Now I am hearing that because I have not been able to get to comments due to my health and thinking the people who come here would be science based reasonable people who would understand the majority of the medical community agrees with trans affirmative care I could rest while my doctors find ways to help me.   

Turns out I was wrong.   Decent people would have understood the situation I am under, how some days I struggle to breathe with my heart rate so high, how sitting in my desk chair causes me to feel ever building pain and yet I don’t have the money to buy / build the things I need to keep doing what I did.   

Turns out the anti- trans trolls who I already fully debunked moved in in my absence and tried to full spread their lies, their myths.  In the process they have sucked in normally reasonable people.  All because I was not feeling up to getting to the comments something I have been struggling with for the last year.  

I thank those that contacted me with the situation.  I do my blog to counter the misinformation and hate put out by the regressive religious right.  My side is backed up by science and peer reviewed studies, something the other side cannot claim.   They want to hold on to tradition, to the way it always was in their lifetime, not realizing before that it was different also.  I am done and angry.   

Let me say that again.   I am pissed off and angry.   For now until I can go back threw all the comments and correct the misinformation and hate I am shutting comment off on things I post, if I manage to find time to post anything at all.   

Last night I went to bed about 7 PM, my pulse was racing, my pain high and due to my medications and my supper I was very tired.   I had a good blood sugar before supper of only 104, but I knew to cover more than that with my insulin.  I had more tabs open and things I wanted to get to on both computers than I can describe.   I would love to share that news with everyone, but the regressive haters seem not to want that.   OK then if it is a constant fight on FACTS you want to have I guess I have to divert what energy I have to that.   

The truth is on the progressive accepting side!   The regressive traditional side is wrong.  Just as it has always been for all of history!  The earth is not flat, the sun doesn’t rotate around the earth!  Black people are not less than whites, Jews are not evil as a group.  Grow the fuck up all you people who say that it was not that way before.   Yes I am angry.   I don’t feel well and I must now deal with people that think the Florida administration that claims vaccines are bad and dangerous to your health has the right take on teaching.   Dogs that love gravy do you people ever get out of your bubbles and look around the world.  The rest of the world is leaving the US behind on how to treat people, education, healthcare including child / mother death during childhood.  The last bastion of resistance in a capitalist society is centered in the US while the rest of the developed nations soar above us in how they treat their people.   But you in the US just keep worrying about who uses the bathroom and be suspicious if they don’t look how you think they should.   Oh crap those undeserving people might get enough government assistance to eat a full meal today.  Keep watching so the corporations can steal everything you have with the government supporting them!

So to those that sent me messages of the mess my comment sections have become I thank you.   To those assholes who wanted to abuse my faith in humanity I am going to deal with you.   And I am angry!    Hugs

9 thoughts on “I am angry.

  1. Scottie, your health is the primary thing for you. I feel like I’ve fallen down as a friend for not saying anything, though the 1st I saw anything negative was last night. I’m at the hospital 3 nights a week with a family member (Do Not Worry, just explaining,) reading only on my phone. My apologies for not acting, but I hope I left a good message with what I did and didn’t like, FWIW. You just take care of you, all right? Even trolls want you back here in fine fighting form so they can provoke you! (If you giggled at that, my work is done.) Hugs!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hey-I sent you 2 emails with links to a bit I think you’ll find very interesting! As they used to say on Hogan’s Heroes.
    I sure hope if you pick up comments, that you start with current ones! And take good care.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Ali. Sorry to hear about your family member being in the hospital. I have not even looked at comments because of my health issues which include due to a change in medications I have a really high heart rate that is running from middle 120s to the middle 130s with spikes into the 140s. That is sitting at my desk or just getting up to get a soda. The heart rate can make it hard to breathe and I feel short of breath. I wrote my primary this morning to say the medication change is not working. On top of that my allergist cannot start my daily shots / testing until the end of may so I feel like I have a cold all the time and am taking medications to keep them under control. Everything is making me feel crappy and my head foggy so thinking is hard for me right now. Reading is hard. Watching videos is about the most I really can do right now.

      But enough of my whining. I will feel better soon. I have not gotten the results of the EMG test (I call it the electrocution test.) but the pain clinic has scheduled a set of spine shots in March. That should help some. The increase in morphine has helped pain wise but the added morphine makes me sleepy also. Again with the brain fog. I am going to start with the latest comments. I am doing these on this post first, then going to clear my tabs, then try to do more comments.

      It is now 1 PM and Ron is making my lunch. I started writing the reply to your comment around 8:30 this morning. See how hard it is for me to address comments in any kind of normal time frame? It has taken me nearly five hours to write this. This is not normal for me. Something happened a couple months ago that totally changed my abilities. But I am determined to fix it and get back to my A game. Thank you Ali for all you have done, all the comments, and all the emails. I will go look for the ones you sent now. The email automatically sorts for me and it will be under your name. Best wishes and hugs.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey Scottie! I have not visited your blog or any others much lately due to my own ongoing health issues, so I was not aware that someone or multiple someones were harassing you. Let me just say that I am so sorry for EVERYTHING you are going through, but please, my friend, don’t let the assholes get you down. Letting them make you so angry only puts greater stress on your heart, so … take a deep breath and find a way to de-stress as much as possible. You’re a good man and the world needs you … more now than ever. Love ‘n hugs, dear friend.

    P.S. Please email me if you feel up to it.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hello Jill. I am very sorry to hear about your own health issues coming back. As you know you I greatly admire you and value your opinions. I will email you tomorrow, sorry I just don’t feel up to it right now. My primary says my heart issues are beyond what he can do and has referred me back to a heart specialist group. I used this group before but the doctor I had in 2018 has since retired. I have had heart issues all my life but I thought they were under control. Anyway I would love to hear from you and how things are in your life, your family and the inclusive diverse friends you have in the building you live. Until tomorrow, hugs, Best Wishes, and lots of love. Scottie

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for your kind words, dear friend. Don’t push yourself to email me … whenever you feel up to it and have a few minutes, I’ll be more than happy to hear from you. Just hang in there, and I shall try to do the same. Huge HUGS and much love, dear friend.


  4. Is everybody gonna’ be sick together!? I too have been distracted with not only my spouse’s usual maladies but a bit of discomfort in the downend, as it were, for me I and haven’t been in the basement in a while.

    Of course, my treatment of trolls tends to be unpopular and I don’t step into that pile as often as I used to. Twenty-two years I’ve been trying to get one ~ any one ~ to step outside, I just don’t think any of ’em have what it takes, and to be honest I’m a little fearful for what I might do to one if they did. And I’m just a scrawny little fuck, five and half foot and a stone and a half, if they were such badasses they shouldn’t have any trouble at all.

    Though as we have discussed in the past, I turned comments off years ago … sucks, but you don’t that aggravation.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Ten Bears. I love your comment. The truth is some of the most powerful people in a physical altercation are the ones most people dismiss. When I was in the navy back in the 1980s a woman I was working with was a small compact person. What most people did not know was she had transferred in from the shore patrol and her skill with a baton was very impressive to an 18 year old me. I made the mistake of getting rude and mouthy about the ability of females and she gave me a quick attitude adjustment I really needed. She was not angry or mean about it, she simply showed 18 year old just out of high school me that maturity and skill mattered more than what was between our legs. For the rest of the time we served together we were good friends. I needed the adjustment she gave me, and I always felt she could have gone much further / much more painful if she had wanted, but she did not need to as she proved her point very very clearly. I did learn quickly back then.

      That said my miserable childhood was spent in a home of abusive thugs. That gave me a real hate for the idea that might makes right. I have always enjoyed my online engagements with the “rabid” right and the trolls that came to my blogs. I especially enjoyed the people coming here that I could change their views by showing them facts. I loved that discourse and discussion until now.

      Right now the current problems I have are too much to ignore. But as much as the capitalist like to claim that countries that have governments that fund a universal healthcare for their people they have to wait long times for doctors, I am also doing that in a country that profit is king. Back in the 2010s I waited 9 months for a primary doctor appointment. I lost my left hip in 2014 and had to wait for three years for a replacement because I couldn’t afford the co-pays. And the fact I got my hip replacement was because for a couple years I had both government and private employer supplied medical insurance. If I had not had that small window I would still be in a wheelchair. I have to wait until the end of May for an appointment for the allergy clinic that is part of a major hospital system to simply give me my skin test to continue my allergy shots. The healthcare system for profit is failing in the US.

      Wow this reply went well beyond your comment, sorry. Best Wishes and Hugs


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