It is 2 pm and I am stressed.

Hi all.  I know I have 4 open windows with so many open tabs of comments and stories on blogs to get to.  But please remember I woke at 3 and was informed by my love of going on 34 years that he was in pain and worried he couldn’t breathe, and maybe in trouble.  Forget coffee, that is an instant wake-up signal.  I already told you all about that.  

So about 10:30 the pharmacy tells up the penicillin prescription was ready. Yes the other was delayed, but I did not care Ron needed that antibiotic and pain relievers, … well we have those in the house right.  

I went to the pharmacy and they were already busy as they always are.  I respect these people so much, they are often understaffed and always over worked.  As I stood in the line, the lady at the desk wanted the pharmacy clerk to do something impossible for them to do, as he patiently explained to her.  Finally she left.  I stepped up.

As I asked him how he was doing and said he should just take a few moments to breathe, he recognized me.  His facial expression and demander changed.  He smiled broadly and took a breath.  Then told me he was OK and that it had just been a hard morning.  By my dogs that love gravy it was about 10:45 and they only opened at 9.  But I have stood in line and seen the abuse heaped on them.  I understood.  

Side note.   I called in one day as it was the day to fill my morphine and the state of Florida on the war of opioid addictions made safe drugs like morphine so hard to get as they made it a top tier drug for restrictions.  So for a simply well known drug given out to World War 2 soldiers, they treat it like heroin or other illegal substances.  I personally think that is because it is so inexpensive compared to newer medications, and big pharma doesn’t like that.  

So I was talking to Daniel and explained I was there to pick up Ron’s new antibiotic penicillin prescription because at 4 am I was in the ER with him.  The Pharmacist heard that and stopped what he was doing and came over to ask me if Ron was ok and what happened.  I explained it.  Then Daniel showed the pharmacist that the doctor had also ordered a pin medication that had yet to be filled, it had been pushed back in their Que to much later.  I jumped to say that was OK, I would come back but Ron really need the other medications, at which point the pharmacist told me he would fill it right then.  I said I did not want him to go to extra trouble, at which point he looked me right in the eyes and said “Scottie for you it is no trouble, give me a minute and I will get it ready”.   Wow, treating people nice really works out.  I moved over and sat in one of the waiting area seats but in about one minute the pharmacist came back with both prescriptions.   

We chatted, I told them how I appreciated them and said I wished I could do more for them, and they all were happy.  But as I turned around to leave, the older woman next inline did something unexpected.  I had thought she would have been upset about my taking their time to talk.  But instead she said to me as she stepped up to the window. “Your kindness to them means far more than you can know.  I do, as I was once on the other side of that counter and you gave them a great gift.”

Wow, what to say.  I am just an old poor crippled man trying to navigate life.  I nodded to her, not sure if I even said anything as she passed me to the counter.  On my way out at the front check out was a tall large woman.   She had a unique and rather colorful tattoo from her chin down to her chest, which the bottom showed a beautiful butterfly.  No one was in her line, and I couldn’t resist complementing her on it.  It is my way.  

I stopped and we got talking.  I told her I loved the butterfly at the bottom and how beautiful it was.  As we talked, I suddenly realized she went from a bored hello thank you for shopping to an open happy explanation to the complicated tattoo.     I said I could see the wonderful butterfly, but I did not understand the rest of the large tattoo.  She explained the symbolism and all the aspects.  I asked if it was painful, to which she said yes.  I told her she was braver than me.  Then I noticed her finger nails.  They were long bright white with tassels and other objects embedded in them and hanging off of her fingers.  Each one was a different spiritual symbol.  I was delighted and we talked for another five minutes about them, with me being very appreciative of the work and her ability to use them in daily life.  

As I was walking out, I turned and looked back.  That lady that seemed so bored and down cast when I first started near her now shined, her head was up and … how do I describe it … well she radiated a light and happiness around her.  I am not a person to believe in woo and the supernatural like my spouse does.  But I sure do believe in emotions and in people.  You treat them bad in public, that changes them and it affects the rest of their day.  You treat someone meanly and they will react that way for a while to others, it is simply how humans are built, when we are unhappy we pass it on.   But by the same measure if we are happy we also pass that on.  

I really loved that woman’s tattoo and her finger nails.  I can not imagine the pain and discipline to let someone around your throat that way with my background.  And the work and patience it must have taken for those fingernails is incredible.  And all so people like me could enjoy them.  Seriously, she wouldn’t have gone through all that if she did not want people to see them.  Anyway, those that can not see the beauty in those things I have little time for.  

Which leads me to the reason I am writing this long post on a normal part of my day.  Something I am sure others do all the time.  It is because I have 4 open windows with so many open tabs of posts, comments, and other things I really want to get to.  But after watching four videos of the Israeli bombing of a captive public in Gaza, I really feel for my own health I need to leave the computers / internet news and instead move my TV out and play Halo.   Really sorry but today my mental health won’t let me work on the open tabs, the comments, the stories, the other things.   And the fear of needing to take my aging 68-year-old lover of 34 years to the ER is still resonating in side me.  I just need a break, something to get away from it all.  It took me so long to do the dishes because he kept offering to help, but he can hardly stand.  

If this is the last post I do today, loves and hugs, and lots of respect and best wishes for all.  I am off to pretend land where I am the Master Chief fighting the forces of evil that want to kill all humans and make the universe bad. In that universe I can stop them and make things better.    Hugs, best wishes.  Scottie