On my other monitor, I have the Star Trek Picard series that Ron bought for me. I watched two episodes and then started to close it out. Yes, I love watching them … but I have so much else to do. So many saved blogs tabs to read, so many comments …
And Ron got a bit angry, which is not normal for him. He looked at my two screens, one with the next episode and the other with windows of tabs to get to. And he got a bit angry. He reminded me I have been awake since 1 am, and it is now 7 Pm. He reminded me I never take time off or do things for me, he reminded me that if the entire internet world went away, I would still really like to watch the show. He really put it this way … who pays you to work this hard, day in and day out … all the time.
When I started to explain my blog, he was not sympathetic like I thought he would be. He stood there in my face and said yes that is the online stuff that will be there forever, but your damn body is here and now and you simply need to let shit go. Watch the DAMN shows! Close the other computer down or ignore it, but “WATCH THE DAMN SHOWS AND RELAX A BIT”!!!
So per my hubby of going on 34 years I am changing focus. I will spend the rest of the night watching the season 3 of Picard on Amazon. I would love to keep these windows open to see if I could sneak in a reply or two. But Ron is standing over my shoulder wanting this monitor shut down. Hugs and loves. Best wishes. Scottie
Scottie's Playtime 
Sometimes your partner know best. Take that piece of wisdom from someone who is still learning to fully appreciate its significance after 52 years of living together 🤣
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Thank you, Barry. You are right. What most people don’t know is I have almost died several times in my life due to my body being over stressed. My body breaks down when I push too hard and try to do too much. Ron is very aware of this, after in 2010 I tried to go back to work. My last year at work I spent more time in the hospital being treated than working. My doctors told me and Ron if I did not quit working I would die, and they couldn’t help me. So when I get manic about the blog and doing stuff on it Ron gets concerned. Lately he thinks I am getting far too stressed and obsessed. That is why last night he did something he rarely does, he insisted I stop, that I watch the fun shows, that I give my mind and body a rest. And I do tend to give into to him. *** but I will admit if he had not insisted I turn off the other computer I would have tried to blog more while watching the movie. He wanted me to disengage and just enjoy the shows. Again Barry, most people don’t realize how delicate my health is, it is so easy for me to overdue on one thing and then be in trouble. Ron is good at keeping me centered and healthy. Thanks again for the comment. Best wishes. Scottie
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Oh Barry. 52 years!!! That is huge. Not to be intrusive, but how old are you and how young when you gave each other to your selves? Ron and I met in 1990, promised our selves to each other on October 12 1990. This starts our 34th year. Congratulations to you and your spouse! 52 years. It is something I almost can not comprehend. Thanks very much for sharing that. Best wishes. Scottie
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I wouldn’t know intrusive if it jumped out and bit me. It’s one of my autistic traits 🙂
I’m 74 (22 when we married) and the wife is 18 months older. I learn’t I was autistic at age 60, and those who know my wife well think she is possibly autistic as well. Females are much less likely to be diagnosed as autistic as they present quite differently from males. Current autistic diagnosis is based on male presentation.
She lived in Japan and I in Aotearoa, and we became penfriends about 18 months before we married. We both decided rationally that we were suited to each other. We both struggled in social situations, and the odds of cupid finding us an ideal mate through dating and romance were very long.
Arranged marriages were the norm in Japan in the 1970s, and even today most marriages are arranged although less formally than in the past. So we saw nothing strange about us arranging our own marriage. I first saw her for real on the day I arrived in Japan and the day we legally became husband and wife. Our wedding was a week later, and that is the day we commemorate.
Her possibly being autistic might explain why we were drawn to each other in the first place and why our relationship has endured even through many difficult times. I’m not sure I know what falling in love really is, but one thing I know for sure is that I grew to love my wife dearly in the first few weeks we were together, and that bond has only increased over the years.
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Hi Barry. Thank you for letting me know your story. I find it wonderful. I find it amazing that so many different ways work for so many different people. If those who want to control people would just let people be, maybe there would be more happy stories like yours and your wife, and Ron and me. You and your wife seem to really be perfect for each other and you both are happy, which is what counts. I think back to all that hard work you recently did on your property and I guess I did not realize you were 74. That makes you 14 years older than me but it appears in much better shape. I wish you and your wife many more years of happiness. Best wishes. Scottie
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You know we’ll all be back tomorrow. Watch the show. Enjoy the show. Tomorrow, tell Ron we say thank you for you guys taking good care of each other and yourselves!
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Hi Ali. Thank you. I do understand that and I thank you. What most people don’t know is one of the issues I have is my body can not handle too much stress. That is why Ron got so upset. When my body is stressed it starts to eat itself, my bones, my muscles, and my nerves. It normally is not a problem because I am tired enough to moderate. But the other day I was manic, I couldn’t sleep and kept pushing all day until Ron got worried I would get very ill. I understand what he is saying, and he is correct. But like a kid sometimes I just want to keep going to keep pushing. In 2013 due to me pushing myself too hard, I was hospitalized a lot of the year. Ron doesn’t want that to happen again and I agree with him. That was why we did the Halo rule, which did not last, and why he bought me the Picard Star Trek shows. He wants me to give my mind and body a rest. He is already hinting that after we eat, he is making supper he wants me again off the computers. Damn, I am in a grove, so hard to get things done if he keeps insisting on me stopping. 😀😋😃😅 Hugs. Scottie
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Ron is the best!!! And Ron knows best! We, your blogging friends, will still be here tomorrow and the next day and the next. Sometimes, you just need to take some time for YOU, my friend. I’ve learned this the hard way and still don’t do it often enough, but … do as I say, not as I do! Enjoy your Star Trek! Say “hey” to Dr. Spock and Cap’n Kirk for me!
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P.S. Hugs!
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Hello Jill. As I explained to Barry and Ali, Ron has a reason for being concerned about me pushing my self and getting stressed. See in 2013 I was hospitalized a lot of the year. The reason is my body reacts very badly to me being stressed or taxed. The bone, muscle, nerve degeneracy issue I have accelerates when my body is stressed. In 2013, I was in the third year of trying to go back to work. My doctors told Ron and me if I did not stop trying to work and go to a much more restful way of life, then Ron would be holding my funeral in the next year. They forced me to leave work by simply refusing to sign off on my returning to work. So Ron gets very upset if he thinks I am stressing or pushing my self too hard. I guess in his mind the last few days I was. Which caused his reaction and his wanting me to watch shows and get away from the news and blogging. And it is why now even though it is only a little after 6 pm I am going to go to bed. I did not realize how hard I was pushing but Ron was watching, apparently. So early to bed tonight like a good boy after supper, which was homemade subs and a large salad, and tomorrow is another day. Anyway, I just wanted people to know Ron was not being a jerk the other night, he had a real concern that he was worried I was hurting my self. Hugs, good night. Scottie
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You probably aren’t going to like what I’m about to say/write, but …
You are a grown man. You KNOW what’s going to happen if you push yourself too hard. So to write on your blog about your health problems and then turn around and do the very things that you tell us you should NOT be doing … !!??!
And what if Ron were not around?
PLUS … how fair is it to him that he must be the one to monitor you? You’ve told us he has his own health problems.
Sorry, Scottie. I know I’m being harsh, but sometimes the things you write frustrate me no end!!
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Hello Nan. The answer is simple, I am obsessive and compulsive. I fixated on something and just keep plowing through until I finish it. The answer is I don’t know I am overdoing, because I don’t see me as others do, I don’t see or understand the signs. A couple of weeks ago I did stuff around the house until suddenly I had to have Ron bring me my walker. I had pushed too hard and too far and suddenly found I couldn’t get up out of my chair.
It frustrates you Nan because you seem to have had relatively good health, with fewer current issues than most your age. You have told me that. Often the person who can run a marathon doesn’t understand the issues of someone who struggles to walk. But when you think about it, what I am doing most men get congratulated for.
For example. About a month, maybe more, Ron was mowing the lawn, his foot dropped into a hole dug by an animal, and he couldn’t sop so wrenched his leg. The doctors said 6 weeks off it with rest and wraps. Torn ligaments. But I kept catching Ron getting up and doings stuff when he knew he shouldn’t, like trying to help with launder or doing dishes. A couple of weeks ago we were at the Publix when an older man was checking us out and another middle-aged man was bagging the groceries. The two men were supportive of Ron not being willing to rest and stay off his leg. I couldn’t do it they both claimed, got to be up and moving. One of the older women cashier at the next line that we know chastised them and said she often has to sit and take the time to stay off her legs. She agreed with me.
So it is a mindset driven into guys at a young age, push through even if it kills you. But again Nan the fact is I don’t even realize I am doing it, how caught up in it, I am getting. Until it is far too late. Hugs. Scottie
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So now we add obsessive-compulsive to your list. Sheesh, Scottie!
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Hello Nan. 😀😂😃😆🤩😋😉
My therapist and head doctors say it is my abuse that made me this way, it is my way of trying to take control over my environment when I had no control. I could line up my stuff, keep it in what my mind held to be order and control.
Really, you have known me online how long … ten years now, maybe? And you don’t find me obsessive and compulsive about things? Really. You should see my linen closet and how I freak out if Ron starts putting towels in wrong places or not folded neatly enough. When Ron first moved in with me, I had recently left the military. He was stunned by my closet. Every thing arranged by item, color, length, and sorted neatly. I believe everything has its place and you put it back when you are done using it. Every cupboard in my house was perfectly spaced and arranged.
Ron lives like a frat boy, like his mom still picks up after him.
I has caused huge problems over the 33 plus years we have been together. I have learned to look the other way at a lot of stuff, and Ron has learned to laugh off my screams and rages at his shoes where he last wore them / took them off, his socks same, his clothing thrown everywhere, every flat surface covered with stuff he did not put back, his not being able to find stuff because it did not get returned to where it belongs, his “borrowing” my stuff and then not returning it … and the list is endless. I have learned to not let him put stuff in my closet because he just puts stuff everywhere, and I don’t let him do the towels or linens unless I have to do so. On the other hand, he cleans stuff, including my stuff like my computers because he is meticulous on that, but is hit-and-miss on the dishes, so I tend to do them.
I find it funny you did not catch that part of me. Remember how stressed I was over finding a theme for my last blog and how I hate to change it. You had to take over doing that because it was so upsetting to me.
But I get your point, I am a real case study in a badly made body. Anyone claiming intelligent design or god did not make mistakes needs to study me. The running joke I tell people is my body was built on a Monday after all the builders spent a four-day weekend in the bars getting hammered and were severely hung over making me. Hugs. Scottie
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Well, I also believe there’s a place for everything and everything in its place … BUT I don’t see myself as being obsessive-compulsive. Sure, I get rattled when the other-half leaves things laying around, but I’ve pretty much learned to just swallow it down and do what needs to be done.
My point being … I believe it CAN be controlled. But it takes effort and perhaps a sore tongue from biting it.
One difference I see between you and me is I have no problem walking away from a task. I may spend a longer time on it than most, but I’ve learned that sometimes you just have to STOP! After a certain point, you’re simply spinning your wheels.
And besides, there are those socks and shoes and clothes that need to be picked up! 😄
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Hi Nan. He needs to pick them up, I do not leave my clothing all over the house! My stuff is always in the spot it belongs, including when I take off my clothing at night, it gets put in a spot assigned for it and then in the morning if I wish to put the same pants on or put the rest in the hamper I can. But I do get your point. But there is something’s my mind screams at Nan. I doubt I will ever be able to explain how it is. It seems to actually cause me pain, when things are not the way it should be. I must wash my hands dozens or more times a day as if I feel anything of any kind on them, I must wash them. I hate to have dirty hands and when I did plant work, I would rush to clean my hands as soon as possible. I know I am not normal in that way, but again it is what the doctors tell me was a way for me to control an environment I otherwise had no control over. It is part of me I can not stop, but I do try to moderate it to accommodate Ron. But I get so frustrated and angry, and he gets upset that I get upset over what he sees as no problem. He takes the Windex out from under the sink and never puts it back, he … oh never mind, I think you get the point. Hugs. Scottie
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Psst. Hey Scottie, I just left a message, I know you can see the message icon, you know you have to look. You just must respond!
You can pause the movie thing, it’ll be fine.
I’m a terrible friend 😉
Listen to Ron Scottie!
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Hi Shelldigger. Just the kind of friend I love. Come watch a movie with me, I will provide the popcorn. 😀😂😁😄🤩 Hugs
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I truly do wish I could visit my WP friends. It’s always a pleasure hanging with likeminded friends.
…and they are scarce in red hat moron territory.
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