This trans man transitioned, detransitioned then transitioned again. What he wants you to know.
Just because someone detransitions doesn’t necessarily make them any less trans. Take it from a man who detransitioned then transitioned again.
Read in USA TODAY: https://apple.news/ATDIntAIlQgay8mCHqYIDAA
Shared from Apple News
Best Wishes and Hugs,Scottie
Scottie's Playtime 
I detransitioned for a while to care for my (now) late wife. It was horrible. But it was right. And no, I am no less trans for it.
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Hi Janet. Thank you for sharing something so personal. Please understand that as a cis man it is hard for me to fully understand the feelings of being … I guess the way to write it is trans. I was trying to figure out how to write it such as … feeling like I was not in the right body for my gender. Let me know if shortening that to being trans is acceptable, as I really do not want to give offense.
I am very sorry for the loss of your wife. I shutter at the horror and pain of losing Ron. My mind recoils and hides from the thought. You have my condolence on your loss.
No you are no less trans as you say. Nor are you less a woman. Maybe more so because in history women often make more scarifies for their loved ones than males. The reason I wanted to post this is that some people think the act of transition, figuring out who you are inside yourself in the modern age is like in first grade you declare your gender and from then on insist everyone accept that despite what your parent’s or birth certificate says. That is what the right wing is pushing to gather support for their anti-trans kids laws. Look my kid goes to school and suddenly thinks they are a different gender so it must be the school’s fault.
The fact as you know far more than I is it is far more complicated and agonizing. I can sort of understand because I was gay, and desperately wanting a consensual relationship with someone my age … unlike what was happening to me at home and my life. I struggled so hard to reconcile my desires against my anger and hate over what was being done to me or I was forced to do. During my abuse the very people forcing me to do it called me horrific names blaming me for it all, I was a fagot, I was gay, I was … yet when I looked at other boys my age I had desire … was I really all those bad names they called me. Then as I started into my teen years came Anita Bryant. Who echoed everything my abusers were saying about gay people … as they were abusing me. Not to be graphic but as they demanded I would give them oral sex, they then would hit me and berated me for being one of those horrible people Bryant talked about.
Sorry, got off topic and wandered into those always ever close memories. But my point was going to be no one knows a child’s sexual orientation but the child, also no one knows the gender a child feels they are but the child. Look gender identity is far more than what is between your legs as you understand. As I understand, it is how you see and feel about yourself. Just as my sexual orientation of being gay, liking men doesn’t mean I want to be female or a woman, it means I have a sexual emotional attraction to males as a male.
Anyway you are a wonderful person and also a grand resource for us all here on Play Time. So many people want to be allies but don’t full understand. I am reminded of all the questions I used to get here in the park when we moved in 2004. So many of the older people used to come up to Ron and me in the rec hall and ask if it was true we were … never saying it, the word. Then when we said yes or affirmed to them we were a gay couple, they got really confused and asked nicely … can I ask … which led to me being invited to their homes so they could in private ask me what it was like to be gay, and were all the bad things said about us true. Most often the first question I got was “So who is the man and who is the woman …” So I had to dispel that first to even find common ground. I got so very used to answering openly and honestly that people were shocked. My view was how will they understand unless they ask questions and I give honest answers. That is how I feel about trans issues. I can read, I can be the best possible ally but … no one can speak for trans people like a trans person.
Wow this got far longer than I meant it to. I guess I shouldn’t do comments late at night when I really should be in bed. But your comment was grand and needed an answer. Hugs
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“Being trans” is a very valid way to refer to the feeling you spoke of. It’s useful shorthand, when the audience is aware of the basics of transgender experience.
Thank you for the condolences. It was over 14vyears ago that she passed. I’ve recently fallen in love again. That fact takes nothing from my love for her. I believe she would want me to be happy, and I am.
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Wonderful Janet. Congratulation on finding someone worth loving again. Hugs
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