“Orange Ya Glad She’s Not In Heaven? by Clay Jones”

Anita Bryant was famous for being a singer and had several hits way back in the day. Then she was known for orange juice as she became a spokesperson for the Florida Citrus Commission. Finally, she was known for being a bigot.

Bryant conducted herself as a wholesome Christian years before she campaigned against gay rights. Among her endorsements and products was a cookbook with a Jesus theme. It’s just not breakfast without orange juice and Jesus. Bless this bacon.

In 1979, she tarnished her image and her endorsements started to evaporate. What happened?

Dade County, Florida passed an ordinance that prohibited discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. This upset many bigots, one of them being Anita Bryant. Her fear was that LGBTQ people would be treated like human beings and the nation would stop discriminating and spitting on them. Bigots gotta spit. She led a highly publicized campaign against gay rights and gay people as part of a homophobic organization called Save Our Children. The organization later had to change its name as there was another group that had the name first, and who really wanted to save children and not just use them to push a homophobic agenda.

Bryant and her fellow homophobes feared gay meant pedophilia and LGBTQ people having equal rights would teach children to grow up and treat them like equal human beings. Bryant was against LGBTQ people working in schools and becoming role models. She believed gays were recruiting, which was true. Men all over the country were given free toasters in exchange for sleeping with other men, attending Broadway musicals, and being all-around fabulous.

Bryant said at the time, “What these people really want, hidden behind obscure legal phrases, is the legal right to propose to our children that theirs is an acceptable alternate way of life. I will lead such a crusade to stop it as this country has not seen before.”

During her anti-LGBTQ campaign, she said, “The recruitment of our children is absolutely necessary for the survival and growth of homosexuality… for since homosexuals cannot reproduce, they must recruit, must freshen their ranks.”

Here’s a fun fact: LGBTQ people are mostly born from straight parents.

She also said, probably while Jerry Falwell was standing beside her, “As a mother, I know that homosexuals cannot biologically reproduce children; therefore, they must recruit our children” and “If gays are granted rights, next we’ll have to give rights to prostitutes and to people who sleep with St. Bernards and to nail biters.” Nail biting is a sin? Was that the rejected 11th Commandment?

Also, the government needs to take my rights away because I used to sleep with a Beagle, and I’m not gonna lie. I miss sleeping with a Beagle.

Bryant was able to overturn the ordinance and continued her hate campaign throughout the nation. She galvanized America’s bigots but the LGBTQ community along with hetero friends conducted a campaign against Bryant and orange juice. Eventually, Bryant got pied. A civil rights supporter threw a banana cream pie right into Bryant’s face. Bryant responded with a homophobic slur, saying, “At least it was a fruit pie.”

I don’t know if I can condone or condemn the pieing as I’ve never had a banana cream pie.

Bryant said she loved homosexuals but hated their sins, which is bullshit.

Bryant eventually lost all her endorsements as she became toxic. Even other fundamentalist Christian organizations shunned her and stopped inviting her to their events. she stopped getting invites to singing events and even had a planned variety show canceled. Bryant eventually had to declare bankruptcy.

During the campaign against Bryant, bars stopped serving screwdrivers because of the orange juice and instead served Anita Bryant specials, which were made from vodka and apple juice which were hopefully served with a side of banana cream pie. Drag queens started impersonating Anita Bryant.

One of Bryant’s granddaughters came out and wasn’t sure about inviting her grandmother to her marriage to another woman. She should have invited her and not told her beforehand what was happening. That would have been fun.

Today, there are still bigots in government targeting the LGBTQ community and trying to suppress their rights. There are laws in places like Tennessee and Florida discriminating against drag shows. The should all be pied with banana cream pies.

I hope Anita Bryant, Ron DeSantis, that Duck Dynasty asshole, and every bigoted Republican likes pulp in their orange juice.

Thank you: To everyone who’s a subscriber, especially those who are PAID subscribers. You’re keeping me alive and free to focus on drawing cartoons, writing blogs, making videos, and creating my usual chaos for MAGAts. You rock! If you’re not a paid subscriber yet, please consider becoming one at $8 a month.

Music note: I listened to The Beatles’s Sgt. Pepper while coloring.

Drawn in 30 seconds: (snip-go see)