(Cubbies fan here. I’m not Catholic, so it matters not to me which team the Pope prefers.)
Chicago Pope by Clay Jones
The Pope is a Sox fan Read on Substack
I apologize for the lateness of today’s blog, but I had three deadlines today. I’ll explain further in a future blog.
We have the first American pope, and to add to that, he’s from Chicago. How cool is that? I think Chicago all by itself spites Trump, but a pope who’s criticized the administration for its policies on immigration is a nice plus. Also, Pope Leo XIV is against the death penalty, racism (Trump is a racist), and understands that Climate Change is a real thing and not a “hoax” created by China.
One of the first things I was curious about with our Chicago pope was if he is a Cubs fan. The Chicago Cubs posted on their famous marquee above Addison Street at Wrigley Field that Pope Leo is a Cubs fan. They got it wrong. So did some cartoonists.
Henry Payne is already an idiot. That’s not new news. Randy Bish rushed to judgment.
But it didn’t matter to him because he just made a simple swap when he found out he was wrong.
Sorry, Randy, but this is generic cartooning. Plus, nobody should listen to you about Chicago. You’re from Pittsburgh.
What else is from Pittsburgh is this shit.
What is it? It’s ketchup. There’s nothing special about this ketchup. It’s just regular shitty Heinz ketchup, but the company was trying to trick Chicagoans to fuck up their hot dogs with it. It didn’t work, and Eater.com let them know it.
I’m sure the Pope would agree that it’s sacrilege to put ketchup on a hot dog, but since he’s the Pope, he would probably forgive you, but I won’t. How dare you put ketchup on a hot dog? What are you? Five?
I used to have a theory that people who love ketchup had mothers who couldn’t cook. I developed this theory because my ex-wife LOVED ketchup, and her mother could not cook. I hope she doesn’t read this because she’s very nice and my son’s grandmother. My father-in-law, may he rest in peace, made the best fried pork chops I’ve ever had.
I think there are only four acceptable reasons for using ketchup, and they are, for crinkle-cut fries, very bad fries, meatloaf, and if you’re five. I kid, I kid. I know some of you love your ketchup, and none of us is perfect. For example, Donald Trump LOVES ketchup. Let that sink in.
What I learned about Chicago pizza is that most Chicagoans eat more tavern-style than deep dish. Chicagoans like deep dish, but it’s more for special occasions and when they have visitors. Deep dish is more for tourists. I don’t really get deep dish, and I don’t even think it should be considered a pizza.
Do you remember Pizza Rat’s first trip to Chicago last year? He tried the deep dish.
Not a fan.
Today’s cartoon put me in the mood for tavern-style tonight, and Pizza Hut has it as a special. When I picked it up, the manager apologized because they had accidentally cut it into triangles instead of squares. A lot of Chicagoans would not stand for that, but I’m tolerant. I thought of Pope Leo, and I forgave them…this time.
Shout-out and dedication: I dedicate this cartoon to Greg Zaborniak, who introduced me to Old Style beer and tavern-style Chicago pizza last year during the Democratic convention. Thank you again, Greg.
Creative note: I didn’t know what I was going to draw today, and I also had a deadline for the Advance. And then, one of my clients contacted me wanting a cartoon on a local issue, and they wanted it today. So, I was facing three deadlines with zero ideas. But they came to me, one by one, and I knocked ‘em all down.
I deserved that pizza.
There’s a version of this cartoon without Pizza Rat. I didn’t include him because not everyone who will see this cartoon will be a regular reader of mine, and they might think the rat is an aspersion on Catholicism. So I sent it to my clients without Peezy. But then, a reader changed my mind because he thought it was a bigger sin to include a pizza without Pizza Rat. I figured I was going to hear more howls about missing Peezy than I’d hear from angry Catholics. The version at GoComics may not feature Peezy because sometimes a new file won’t override the existing file. I did resend the Peezy version to my clients, but they’ll use the one they want, and maybe not even care.
Drawn in 30 seconds: (snip-go see it!)
Scottie's Playtime 