Hello all. Ron has been having some issues with memory, thinking, and staying awake. Last year his doctor sent him to a neuro doctor to see if he had dementia or alzhimors. The tests showed no real issues. Ron has been gone for about three months and when he got home a few weeks ago I noticed a huge change in him. He was struggling with remembering anything, he had no energy, and he was falling asleep in the middle of conversations.
So last week he saw his primary care doctor who is a really good doctor who cares. He sent Ron for a heart and artery CT scan. On Monday he saw the doctor for the scan and on tuesday he had the CT scan. Thursday evening Ron’s doctor called my phone. He knew me as I was once his patient and from my working in the ICU. He was trying to contact Ron and apologized for calling me but Ron was not answering his phone and he really needed to talk to him.
Ron has 4 major blockages in and around his heart. One is the left descending artery and is called the widow maker. The others are the arteries that feed the heart. He is at serious risk of a heart attack and death of at least parts of the heart muscle. As it is a serious blockage / narrowing / hardening of the arteries he is not to exert himself or get upset in any way. It took several days to get the medication he needs to help keep the arteries open. Ron read a bunch of stuff on it but failed to send it to me and is talking to his sister so I can’t ask him. When I know more I will share it with you. As I will need to go with him and drive him to appointments posting will be sporadic at best. Hugs
Scottie's Playtime 
OK.
I’m familiar with this because of my father’s health issues. I know that care has improved greatly since the 90s, when my dad (also named Ron!) had these things, plus a ragged abdominal aortic aneurysm. Anyway, this with your Ron must be primary for you guys, as well as spending good time with together. I’ll do all I can to keep things smooth here on Playtime, so you just do what you feel with it as you feel. If you want me to post something you’ve found, send me an email anytime; I’ll get it done.
You can do this, you and Ron and Tupac. We’ll all be out here sending peaceful comfort, hope, and healing into the universe for you all.
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Hi Ali. Thank you. It is very scary. This is what Ron’s sister had and it caused his death last fall. Ron finally told his sister today and she was very supportive. And he is going to tell James today. James came over the other night and he could see something was very wrong with Ron. Ron was so confused. James has had a promotion and his job is now with the enforcement part of the country sanitation so he has a county truck which means he can quickly divert to help us for an hour or so if we need it. He repeated many times that we were to call him and not to worry about it. This morning Ron got so confused and totally forgot what we talked about and agreed about not 45 minutes before.
Thanks for understanding and offering to keep the blog steady. I will try to post when I can. I am working on today’s cartoons / memes / round up but I doubt I can finish it. I still have to do the dishes and I am doing laundry because every other day I have a full load of pee towels or have to strip the bed and wash all the sheets. I am already taking spare medications. Ron’s sister stepped up when he told her and said when she got here she would help me out and if we needed it, she would help us get and pay for domestic help. I am hoping the heart doctor we see on Wednesday will have some good news or be able to get Ron in for surgery quickly. But again it is hard both physically and emotionally and very scary. I hugged Ron this morning and told him “We have been together for 36 years and I want to see that trend continue”. Hugs
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I’m so sorry to hear this and I am praying for you both. 💗🌺
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Hi Kymber. Thank you. Ron’s sister’s husband had the very same blockages and had to have stents. But he did not call for help in time this fall and he died of a heart attack. That is playing on our minds. Please see the reply I gave Ali for more information. I admit I am scared. Ron is so confused right now. He also is not to exert himself in any way, so I am trying to do more. But I am disabled with bad bone / muscle / nerve damage. Ron and I have been together for 36 years. He is 71, and I am 63. I want to have a lot more years with my husband. Hugs
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I want you to have many, many more years together, too. You deserve to be happy. Hugs
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Thank you Kymber, we appreciate that. Hugs
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Priorities – any job should give you LOA for this situation.
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Hi MDavis. Thank you. I admit it is scary. Ron is so confused and wants to sleep. He will fall asleep in the middle of a conversation. He was gone for three months and when he got back it was clear something was wrong. He was making promises to me and forgetting them within a few minutes. He would tell me he would be right into bed and I would realize he had not come to bed in a reasonable time. I would find him asleep in his shared recliner with the cat. He was sitting in his recliner in the late morning and fell asleep twice as we were talking. I told him while holding him this morning that we had been together for 36 years and I wanted to keep that trend going.
His sister’s husband had these same blockages and he had the stents put in, but they had to keep doing them over and he kept having blockages and this fall while she was in New Hampshire, he called her from the ambulance. He told her that he felt he waited too late this time to call for help. He was correct; he died on the way to the hospital.
The other issue is Ron’s blockages are so bad his doctor called me because Ron never answers his phone. He was adamant that Ron must not exert himself in any way. I am trying to do things around the house to keep everything going. Making meals, cleaning up, doing dishes, and we have a cat that is incontinent, so he pees when he sleeps or even when he stops to eat. We have puppy pads and towels over the bed and all the chairs and places he lies. So every day or two days I have to wash towels or strip the bed and wash all the bed stuff. I am worn out, in a lot of pain, hiding it from Ron, taking extra medications, but he noticed. So today he told his sister. She had planned to fly here on the 28th and then on April 2nd she and Ron would fly out. They would finish her house sale, complete the moving company moving her furniture to Florida /a storage area that she and Ron were to set up while she was here, and then Ron would drive her back here. None of that can happen and she understands. She asked him how I was holding up and Ron told her that I was struggling to do the stuff he was not supposed to do. She said when she got here she would do it and then help us get and pay for someone to help us with the housework.
Ali offered in her comment to step up her posts and even offered to have me send her by email things I would like her to post like I do. She understands and agrees the blog should give a voice to those that have none and champion the oppressed. I really have tried MDavis but I struggle to keep up and get the many news articles I have saved posted. The post that gets the most hits and highest rating is the cartoons / memes / and news roundup. I try so hard to keep the posts going because people like it and it gets so much of what is happening to everyone. But I can’t do it every day now. And I regret that. I got up at 2:45 to feed the cat. I had hoped Ron was sleeping and when I got back I quietly started to get dressed. My goal was to get up and work on today’s roundup.
But Ron spoke up; he was awake and wanted to get up. So I helped him, then made us coffee. Then for the next four hours as I tried to do the post for this morning, He talked to me, called out to tell me things, came to my office door, and bassicly was a child wanting daddy’s attention. And it has been that way since he got home; only it was getting worse. Last week I was really struggling not to get irritable. But after the call from his doctor and us both reading the results of his heart CT scan it is understandable. His heart cannot move the blood around as needed so his mind / emotions are affected. He feels comfort being near me and having interactions with me even though it is on a subconscious level. He is seeking comfort because he is struggling. That translates to wanting to be near and engaged with me. I want to give him that. But I started the post that was to go out this morning at 3 am and it is now 2 pm and it is nowhere near ready to be posted. I have dishes to do so he won’t feel the need to do them. I have been doing the laundry because of the incontinent cat. Please read the other comments replies to get that.
Friend I can’t get tired or down. I do not have that luxury right now. When I was self harming and locked into the vortex of memories of abuse Randy my internet brother was my savior. Working 12 hour night shifts he would talk to me for hours during the day when he should be sleeping. He would set his alarm to wake up and call me; he would take my calls no matter what the time. Now he is ill just having had sinus mouth surgery. His parents are ill and his dad has been in and out of the hospital, and Ron is now seriously in danger. Kamyk the other friend I worry so much about is in deep depression. He did not tell me but an apartment opened up to take him but the first / last / security came to $900. His sister set up a GoFundMe based on the success we had with his last one.
But he did not tell me until a few days before it was too late because the people here had done so much for him before. He felt it would be asking too much and would make him seem greedy and like he was milking our community. Damn his morals. He has lost everything. He lost his SSI which is now going to the nursing home, and he lost his physical therapy which was helping him learn to walk again after the nerve damage. His best friend who has been his constant online companion for nearly 20 years has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s dementia.
When he told me he had five days left. I asked him if he did get the apartment how soon he would get his SSI again; he had no clue. I asked how with no money he could buy groceries and needed bathroom stuff to stay healthy; he again said he did not know. I asked how he would get supplies. Could a family member bring them to him? He said no.
He told me he was tired and asked if we could talk about it later, that he was really just very depressed and wanted to sleep a lot. It was then that I realized why he did not want me to know or me to tell my wonderful community here. He knew he couldn’t care for himself in an apartment, couldn’t care for it, but he was unable to face not trying. He has one overstressed sibling trying to take care of a dozen disabled or in nursing homes family members. He knew what I was figuring out. He wrote me several long letters telling me he felt he was being warehoused, fed, clothed, cleaned, and let be so the home kept his SSI coming in to them. He felt his abilities draining away every day. He did not want to burden me with his issues knowing the ones I was facing. I went to bed and cried that evening for my friend. And hate for our system. He is only 56 and has so much life ahead of him if he could have been born with a family or enough money to make people care. He is in Youngstown, Ohio. He knew if I had time I would have found the money somehow and he knew he couldn’t live on his own at this time. The place he is in he likes; it is very good to him, he gets his meals, it has friendly staff, and he has his medications, which the staff at the last one were stealing from him.
Ron went for a nap as he was tired, he is tired a lot. I checked on him 6 times. 5 times his breathing was normal. This last time he was gulping for air even with his C-Pap on. His belly was heaving. I gently woke him up and helped him up, dressed, and out to his recliner that the cat claims as his. He took his pulse and it was 40. That is far too low. I got him to take a caffeine tablet. The problem when dealing with Ron now is when he is not tracking / confused he is like a too tired child who has to be coaxed along.
After I finish these comments, I will take more pain medication, go deal with the laundry, and then come back to the kitchen and deal with last night’s / today’s dishes. I simply have so little time to get to the blog much less read the news. There is so much I want to share, but so little time. But I worry more about the little time I may have with my husband if we cannot get these blockages fixed. Diane and her husband thought they had it all handled. He waited too late to call for help with no one there, and he died. She had her brother to help her deal with the loss and all the rest.
Wow I am so sorry MDavis! I did it again. I abused a blog commenter to pour my fears and feelings on. You did not deserve this information dump. I hope you won’t mind if I leave it in? I just so desperately needed someone to share this with. I am going to do a bit of light spell-checking and make sure I did not ramble like an idiot. But thank you for being a friend.
I do feel lighter and a bit better for all I shared. I often wonder if I am doing the right thing. I spent the first 23 years of my life being told how bad and horrible I was and how I wouldn’t be anything but a sex toy and slave. It was a long time ago but every accomplishment I made was in my mind sabotaged by the lessons beaten and raped into me as a kid. You helped me by just letting me tell you what was happening and how I felt. I am sorry if it was too much or I upset you. Best wishes and hugs.
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