Noem is more interested in her face than in providing assistance to the Texas flood survivors Read on Substack
ICE Barbie, Kristi Noem, the Director of Homeland Security, is failing at her job miserably.
A portrait of Noem is going to be displayed in the South Dakota Capitol building, and there are three options. Who gives a shit, right? Kristi Noem, that’s who. Noem went on Instagram and posted to her creepy followers, “Which one do you like for the official Governor’s portrait to hang in the South Dakota State Capitol? Thank you David Uhl!” She added the three paintings of herself on horseback by artist David Uhl.”
She did this five days ago, during the floods in Texas that have killed at least 120 so far.
Here are the other two portraits.
I wonder how much South Dakota tax money was spent on this.
Before Noem’s survey about herself, Puppy-Killah Kristi did her stupid photo-op in El Salvador with the notorious prison behind her, with Trump deportees as props. She was in full makeup while making sure her shiny $10,000 Rolex was visible, which is probably less than her teeth cost.
She’s done other photos with guns, posing as an ICE agent. In one of them, she wasn’t holding the gun correctly and got roasted for it online. I bet she can’t ride a horse either.
We should be relieved that she didn’t shoot that ICE agent in the face. In her defense, she does know how to shoot a gun because that’s how she murdered her puppy. So there, critics.
Kristi is the kind of person that if you went out to dinner with her, she’d humbly say at some point, “Enough of me talking about myself. Now let’s hear you talk about me.” She can’t get over herself. She might be the female equivalent of Donald Trump. She already has the fake hair, and now she just needs the ridiculous tie, the orange make-up, and an adult diaper that hasn’t been changed since his first flip-flop on tariffs.
Remember, Kristi used to look like this…
…before she looked like this.
She definitely went for the Melania look, which is an improvement over the look for hunting wolves from a helicopter. She even got free dental work while she was governor, on the condition that she make a commercial for the Texas dentist who did her work.
It seems that’s the only time she’s interested in Texas, when she can get free dental work, but not when there’s a disaster.
According to The New York Times, two days after catastrophic floods roared through Central Texas, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) did not answer nearly two-thirds of calls to its disaster assistance line.
An anonymous source close to the issue said the lack of responsiveness happened because the agency had fired hundreds of contractors at call centers.
FEMA, which is a part of Homeland Security (I have to include that because trolls are commenting on this cartoon on Facebook asking, “What’s DHS got to do with FEMA?”), laid off the contractors on July 5 after their contracts expired and were not extended, according to the documents and the person briefed on the matter. Noem, who has instituted a new requirement that she personally approve expenses over $100,000, did not renew the contracts until Thursday, five days after the contracts expired, and about a week after the floods started.
Where was ICE Barbie? She was probably spending her time looking at herself in a mirror, or maybe she confused Texas for one of the seven Native American tribes that banned her from their reservations.
Adam Zyglis: There’s a part of this cartoon that is my standing in solidarity with my colleague Adam Zyglis. So what happened with Adam? Adam, who works for the Buffalo News, drew a cartoon mocking Republican hypocrisy, asking for federal aid after protesting against federal disaster relief for other states. This has upset Republicans, which shows more hypocrisy for the gang that shouts “snowflake” at their political opponents. They even cried on Fox News about it.
Now, an event at the Buffalo History Museum by the Buffalo News Guild, which was to feature Adam among other journalists, has been postponed because of “credible” death threats toward Adam and his family.
And just today, a MAGAt posted on one of my client’s shares of a cartoon of mine about how Democrats are the violent ones. (snip-MORE, and it’s great)
Or, whenever you read this. There are 4 snippets, all important to maintaining visibility of people through representation in history. Language alert, in case you’re at work.
Queer History 847: Sarah Orne Jewett – The Defiant Pen That Refused to Bow by Wendy🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🌈 Read on Substack
Sarah Orne Jewett wasn’t just a writer—she was a goddamn literary revolutionary who told the world to fuck off while she lived her truth in broad daylight. Born in 1849 in South Berwick, Maine, this fierce woman carved out a life that would make modern queer folk weep with recognition and rage at how little has changed. Her “Boston marriage” with Annie Adams Fields wasn’t just a relationship; it was a middle finger raised high to a society that demanded women choose between intellectual fulfillment and emotional intimacy.
The term “Boston marriage” itself is a sanitized piece of historical bullshit that literary scholars use to avoid saying what everyone with half a brain knows: these women were lovers, partners, and soulmates who built lives together while the world pretended they were just “very close friends.” Jewett and Fields lived this reality for nearly three decades, creating a partnership that was more authentic and enduring than most heterosexual marriages of their era—or ours, for that matter.
The Making of a Literary Badass
Sarah Orne Jewett emerged from a world that wanted to stuff women into corsets and drawing rooms, but she said “fuck that noise” and became one of America’s most celebrated regional writers. Her father, Theodore Herman Jewett, was a country doctor who took his daughter on his rounds through rural Maine, exposing her to the harsh realities of working-class life that would later infuse her writing with a authenticity that urban literary elites couldn’t fake if they tried.
This early exposure to real people living real lives—not the sanitized version of existence that polite society preferred—shaped Jewett’s understanding that truth was more important than propriety. She watched women struggle to survive in a world that offered them shit options: marriage to men who might abuse them, spinsterhood that meant poverty and social isolation, or the kind of life she would eventually choose—one that required courage, defiance, and the willingness to let people think whatever the hell they wanted. (snip-MORE)
Queer History 594: Alexander Hamilton – The Founding Father Who Loved Hard and Wrote Gay as Fuck Letters by Wendy🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🌈 Read on Substack
In the pantheon of American mythology, Alexander Hamilton has been sanitized, straightened, and scrubbed clean of anything that might challenge the heteronormative fairy tale we tell ourselves about our founding fathers. But here’s the thing about historical whitewashing—it can’t erase the actual fucking words these men wrote to each other. And Alexander Hamilton, that brilliant, passionate, self-destructive bastard who helped birth a nation, wrote letters to John Laurens that were so goddamn romantic, so emotionally intimate, so clearly beyond the bounds of “normal” male friendship that historians have been performing Olympic-level mental gymnastics for centuries to explain them away.
Born in 1755 on the Caribbean island of Nevis, Hamilton clawed his way from bastard orphan to the right hand of George Washington through sheer intellectual brilliance and an intensity that burned like a fucking supernova. But it was his relationship with fellow revolutionary John Laurens that revealed the depth of his capacity for love, passion, and the kind of emotional vulnerability that straight male mythology pretends doesn’t exist. Their correspondence reads like a love affair conducted through the medium of revolutionary politics, and anyone who thinks these men were just “very good friends” has clearly never read a love letter in their goddamn life.
The Making of a Revolutionary Heart
Alexander Hamilton’s early life was a masterclass in how trauma and abandonment can forge either a monster or a revolutionary—and sometimes both. His father abandoned the family when Alexander was ten. His mother died when he was thirteen, leaving him and his brother orphaned and destitute in a world that had no fucking patience for bastard children with no connections.
The psychological impact of this early abandonment cannot be overstated. Hamilton developed the kind of intense, desperate need for connection that would characterize all his relationships—romantic, political, and personal. He threw himself into every relationship with the fervor of someone who had learned early that love was scarce and could disappear without warning. (snip-MORE)
Queer History 673: Renée Vivien – The Sapphic Rebel Who Burned Bright and Fucking Died for Love by Wendy🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🌈 Read on Substack
In the suffocating, corseted world of turn-of-the-century Europe, where women were expected to be seen and not heard, to marry well and breed often, and to suppress any hint of sexual desire that didn’t serve patriarchal ends, Renée Vivien said “fuck that” with every passionate verse she penned. Born Pauline Mary Tarn in 1877, this British-American poet didn’t just write love poetry to women—she set the goddamn literary world on fire with verses so erotically charged, so unapologetically sapphic, that they made Victorian sensibilities spontaneously combust.
Vivien wasn’t just a poet; she was a fucking revolutionary who wielded language like a sword against the heteronormative assumptions of her time. She lived fast, loved hard, and died young at 32, leaving behind a body of work that would make contemporary lesbian poets weep with envy and recognition. Her life was a middle finger to every social convention that tried to cage women’s desires, a testament to the power of living authentically even when the world wants to crush you for it.
The Making of a Sapphic Goddess
Pauline Mary Tarn was born into privilege in London on June 11, 1877, but privilege couldn’t protect her from the psychological warfare that society wages against women who dare to love other women. Her father died when she was eleven, and her mother, perhaps recognizing something unconventional in her daughter, shipped her off to boarding school in Paris. It was there, in the City of Light, that Pauline would transform herself into Renée Vivien—a name that literally means “reborn” and “living,” because sometimes you have to kill your old self to become who you’re meant to be. (snip-MORE)
Queer History 847: Mary Glasspool – Holy Shit, She Actually Did It by Wendy🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🌈 Read on Substack
In the grand fucking theater of religious hypocrisy, where LGBTQIA+ people have been told for millennia that they’re damned, broken, and unwelcome at the altar of God’s love, Mary Glasspool stood up in 2010 and said, “Bullshit.” Not with those exact words, mind you—she’s a bishop, after all—but with something far more powerful: her entire goddamn life.
Born in 1954 in New York, Mary Douglas Glasspool didn’t just break the stained-glass ceiling of the Episcopal Church; she obliterated it with the force of a woman who refused to let anyone else define her relationship with the divine. When she was consecrated as the first openly lesbian bishop in the history of Christianity, she didn’t just make history—she rewrote the fucking rulebook on what it means to serve God while being authentically, unapologetically queer.
The Holy Shit Moment That Changed Everything
Picture this: It’s January 15, 2010, and the religious establishment is losing its collective mind. Conservative bishops are clutching their pearls, traditionalists are having actual conniptions, and somewhere in the background, you can practically hear the sound of centuries-old prejudices cracking like ice on a frozen pond. Mary Glasspool, a 55-year-old woman who had been serving her church and community with distinction for decades, was about to be consecrated as a bishop in the Episcopal Church—and she wasn’t hiding who she was or who she loved.
The consecration ceremony at Christ Cathedral in Los Angeles was a watershed moment that sent shockwaves through the Anglican Communion worldwide. Here was a woman who had spent her life in service to others, who had demonstrated exceptional leadership, theological acumen, and pastoral care, and the fact that she happened to love women was somehow supposed to disqualify her from serving God? Fuck that noise. (snip-MORE)
July 13, 1863 Massive New York City protests decrying the first-ever wartime draft lottery led to bloody rioting over five days as a mob of 50,000 burned buildings (including looting and torching the Colored Orphan Asylum on Fifth Avenue, though the 200+ children were unharmed), stores and draft offices, and attacked police. Some clubbed, lynched, and shot large numbers of blacks, whom they blamed for the war.By the time troops returning from the Battle of Gettysburg finally restored order, 1200 had died over five days. New Yorkers, spurred on by the Democratic leadership of Tammany Hall and tired of the seemingly endless war, had been angered by President Abraham Lincoln’s recent call for 300,000 more troops. In the Shadow of Slavery: African Americans in New York City, 1626-1863 by Leslie M. Harris They especially resented the legal provision allowing a cash payment ($300 commutation fee) as a way for those with the means to avoid military service in the Union Army. Read more about the 1863 draft riots
July 13, 1905 A Declaration of Principles was issued by the Niagara Movement (the precursor to the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People) following their conference in Buffalo, New York. Matters of concern included: realization of suffrage for all black men, as well as other civil liberties; economic opportunities for black Americans, especially in the South; access to education, especially high schools, trade and technical schools, and colleges; fair treatment in the courts and an end to the convict-lease system; fair treatment in employment wherein employers brought in black workers temporarily to keep down wages, and labor unions refused membership to blacks; an end to the color line, particularly in public transporation; fair treatment for black soldiers and access to military training schools; enforcement of the 13th, 14th and 15th amendments to the U.S. Constitution passed in the wake of the Civil War. “The Negro race in America, stolen, ravished and degraded, struggling up through difficulties and oppression, needs sympathy and receives criticism; needs help and is given hindrance, needs protection and is given mob-violence, needs justice and is given charity, needs leadership and is given cowardice and apology, needs bread and is given a stone. This nation will never stand justified before God until these things are changed.” Additionally, they urged upon the African-American community: The duty to vote. The duty to respect the rights of others. The duty to work. The duty to obey the laws. The duty to be clean and orderly. The duty to send our children to school. The duty to respect ourselves, even as we respect others.
July 13, 1985 The first Live Aid concert raised $75 million for agricultural and technical assistance to Africa, many times what was expected. Described as the Woodstock of the ‘80s, the world’s biggest rock festival (in London, Philadelphia, Moscow and Sydney, Australia, simultaneously and linked by satellite) was organized by Boomtown Rats singer Bob Geldof to raise money for famine relief in Ethiopia. Bob Geldof The Republic of Ireland (Éire) gave the most donations per capita, despite being in the throes of a serious economic depression at the time. The single largest donation (£1m) came from the ruling family of Dubai (Al Maktoum). More about Live Aid ’85 Watch a video about the concert
The Canadian province of Manitoba is suffering through its worst wildfire season in its history, and to add insult to injury, several U.S. lawmakers are complaining that smoke wafting south is making it difficult for Americans to enjoy summer.
Six Republican Congress members shared their concerns in a letter addressed to Canadian Ambassador Kirsten Hillman on Monday, July 7, asking for more information about how the government plans to mitigate wildfires and the smoke that travels south. Since January, over 3,000 wildfires have consumed more than 5 million acres, killed two people, and displaced tens of thousands more in Canada. The lawmakers explain that resulting poor air quality in the U.S. has prevented Americans from partaking in outdoor summer activities. Compared to the devastation Canadians have faced this year, these issues are glaringly trivial.
“This is what turns people off politics. When you’ve got a group of congresspeople trying to trivialise and make hay out of a wildfire season where we’ve lost lives in our province,” Wab Kinew, premier of Manitoba, said during a press conference Thursday, July 10. Manitoba had just declared a state of emergency for the second time this year due to unprecedented wildfire activity. The province’s wildfire service reported 105 active fires burning on Thursday, including 14 that were listed as “out of control” across the eastern, western, and northern parts of the province. (snip-MORE on the page)
And, well-informed Canadians have opinions! We should be aware of this. The comments thread is fine. Go. Read. Comment, if you will.
John Ehrlichman, former top aide to President Richard Nixon, and three others were convicted of conspiring to violate a citizen’s civil rights. Ehrlichman had approved a recommendation for a covert investigation of Daniel Ellsberg in 1971 by writing on a memo: “If done under your assurance that it is not traceable.” Looking for information to discredit Ellsberg, agents of President Nixon’s re-election campaign broke into the office of his psychiatrist.
John Ehrlichman
Ellsberg, a former Defense Department analyst, had been responsible for public release of The Pentagon Papers, a collection of documents outlining the U.S. history and strategy in Vietnam, that had been classified as secret to avoid public scrutiny.The world’s most famous filing cabinet
I see that our recycling center has closed until further notice. International Paper, downsizing, has closed its recycling plant in Wichita, laying off all those employees, I saw on the newscast from the station I linked. Their story links a release from IP about all their closures and their plans for the year. The release is dated Feb. 13, of 2025. There’s another release from the Wichita Business Journal about the Wichita plant, but it says little to nothing. (No link from them; they’re mostly Kansans and Americans For Prosperity, anyway.)
Earlier, I got the idea to search if IP’s downsizing is due to recission of tax cuts and to tariffs. Gemini (who always volunteers though I never ask, preferring to find a link to a known source) says that while it cannot state that those things cause the downsizing in full, it also cannot state that those aren’t in the mix. (Because I do skim Gemini’s stuff.)
So, this hurts a bit: the closing of our recycling facility, as well as the Wichita one. During the first Trump admin, when POTUS began that trade war with China, China reciprocated by, possibly among other things, refusing anymore plastic recycling from the US. Our facility couldn’t find a place that did the recycling; no one else does it. China does it very economically though of course there is the question of what it’s really doing with the plastic, but another story for another time.
Anyway, in those days, I was an active BPW member. One of the things we worked hard on was getting a recycling collection facility here in town. We lobbied hard, both the public and the council, for use of an unused building (the former firehouse,) and possibly the use of a big truck for hauling the recycling collected to the recycler. We asked for no funding, we had willing volunteers; all the civic organizations set up volunteer schedules. We just needed the facility and a way to haul. Before the facility came about, I became a member of the city Planning Commission, so I couldn’t continue in that effort until after it was decided by the council. But, it was a happy circumstance that there was a plan for recycling in the existing Strategic Plan, even then! That’s always a big help, when something’s in the Strat Plan.
So, this was not a thing that came before the Planning Commission. I was not on Zoning Appeals at that time, so I have no idea if they got it, but as it came to reality, that wouldn’t have been necessary. It was decided that that firehouse building would become the collection facility, it would be staffed with volunteers but with a city worker or two there because it’s city property and insurance insists on that, and a city worker would do the hauling. Yay! It was open each Saturday from 9 until noon, and people needed to bring their recycling, preferably sorted, to the facility where volunteers then helped getting things where they went.
Eventually it grew, and there weren’t enough volunteers every Saturday to keep the lines moving reasonably. It went before the council to staff another one or two. There would still be volunteers there to keep things moving without too much staff. (People here in town like nice things, but don’t like paying for them.) The council approved, and the facility also opened on Mondays from 11 AM to 1 PM. That way, downtown business, who go through a lot of corrugated cardboard and bubble wrap, could get theirs done without as many of the public. Also, the staffers could actually get the stuff loaded in time for it to go to the recycler.
I just went there last week to drop recycling. We usually accrue enough corrugated cardboard and chipboard to unload at least once per month. We’ve cut paper back a lot, and again, plastic hasn’t been accepted since Trump p.o.’d China last term, so that’s not so much. Even so, where we usually have a single trash bag to go out for pickup, I think we’re going to have more that now has to go to the landfill.
I may be taking it too seriously, but I feel the way I did when the SCOTUS overturned their own decision in Roe v. Wade. We worked hard for it, we had it, it was good for all, and now it’s gone.
I hope this hasn’t bored anyone very much. It’s more sentimental than I usually am when posting such stuff. Still, our recycling collection facilities closing, or really, any big companies downsizing, is happening everywhere, and is affecting many, many people. I feel for all the Wichita workers who will have no jobs just in time for school shopping. So, I thought I’d post, because we all have to keep our eyes open for this happening around us everywhere. Thanks for your time! 🌞
When Jason Collins came out in a 2013 Sports Illustrated cover story, he broke down the long-sealed closet in men’s sports by becoming the first openly gay active player in any major league sport. President Barack Obama called him to offer his support, saying he “couldn’t be prouder,” and Oprah Winfrey called him “a pioneer.”
“By not having to hide who I am, just being able to live an authentic life, there’s something powerful about being the one to out yourself and step forward and speak your truth,” Collins told Uncloseted Media. “There’s no greater feeling.”
Many thought that Collins’ announcement would lead to a slew of men coming out in professional sports; commentators called it a “tipping point” and the moment “when things really changed.” But 12 years later, the silence is deafening. Today, there are zero active openly gay or bisexual players in the NFL, NBA, NHL, MLB, MLS, PGA and ATP.
What makes these numbers particularly shocking is that more than 1 in 5 Gen Z adults in the United States identify as LGBTQ+. “It is a legit claim that the last closet for men is sports, especially in the North American context,” says Charlene Weaving, a professor of gender studies at St. Francis Xavier University. “If you look at sport[s], it’s as if what’s happening in society is amplified. Sports is the worst place for sexism and homophobia. … There’s so much pressure to adhere to a heterosexual persona.”
So what’s keeping the closet door shut?
Coaching can help or hurt
Brian Burke participates in the 2025 Toronto Pride Parade on June 29, 2025 in Toronto, Ontario. (Harold Feng/Getty Images)
One key element in men’s sports that can help or hinder someone from coming out is the mentors who surround them.
“The coaches create the culture, right? What you say, what you allow [in] your locker room, that’s all on us,” says Anthony Nicodemo, a gay high school basketball coach in Westchester, New York.
He says he intentionally uses LGBTQ-inclusive language with his team to signal that there’s nothing wrong with being gay. “If we had a game on Saturday morning and it’s Friday night, I’d say, ‘Hey go home with your boyfriend or girlfriend tonight, stay in.’ My kids would laugh, of course, but then after I said it a couple times, they didn’t even blink,” he says. “If there was a gay kid on my team, that gay kid knows that he’s welcome.”
A 2016 study by the Journal of Sport and Health Science found that gay and bisexual male teen athletes feel particularly unwelcome when playing in formal sporting environments where there are coaches. The study also found that they were more likely to play on an informal team without a coach, which would lessen their chances of becoming a professional athlete.
“The hope is that you’re going to create inclusive environments that are ultimately going to allow those kids to get to the point in society where we feel comfortable with them coming out and eventually playing at the professional level,” says Nicodemo, who worked with Collins at the Pride Center’s LGBTQ+ inclusion basketball clinic in San Antonio this March.
Nicodemo says we need more role models like Brian Burke, the former president of hockey operations for the Pittsburgh Penguins. After Burke’s gay son passed away in a car accident in 2010, he made it his mission to explicitly advocate for gay men competing in pro hockey. “If you’re a member of the LGBTQ+ community, you are welcome with the Pittsburgh Penguins,” he said at a 2021 Pittsburgh Pride Revolution March. “You’re welcome to come to our games, you’re welcome to play for our team, you’re welcome to work on our staff. You are welcome.”
Research suggests all players want to participate in more inclusive environments. A 2021 study evaluated college coaches who identified as LGBTQ+, as allies, or as anti-LGBTQ+. In every context, students preferred coaches who embraced nondiscrimination, choosing the ally and the LGBTQ+ coach over the anti-LGBTQ+ coach.
Despite this, Nicodemo says he may be an anomaly when it comes to LGBTQ-inclusive coaches. In fact, a 2015 study concluded that the United States was the most homophobic country in the world when it comes to sports and 80 percent of the study’s participants reported witnessing or experiencing homophobia in U.S. sports.
Just this week, the Wake Forest men’s baseball coach Tom Walter issued an apology after cameras caught him using an apparent homophobic slur during an NCAA game.
“There’s a lot of homophobia in our society. There is a lot of homophobia still in sports, in particular, male sports,” says Collins. “We still have a lot of work to do as far as creating those environments that those athletes do feel comfortable to step forward [in] and share who they are. It’s about education and letting them know it’s okay to say, ‘I am gay,’ ‘I am bisexual.’ You know, you name it, but it’s okay. It’s okay to speak your truth.”
Are the leagues pulling their weight?
Beyond the coaches are the leagues. While some of them have taken steps to create inclusive environments, others have gone in a different direction by rolling back their LGBTQ-inclusive policies amid attacks on Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI). In March, the MLB removed references to their “Diversity Pipeline Program,” which outlined their diversity-focused hiring initiatives, from their website.
This may have been in response to external pressure. In October 2023, the conservative public interest organization America First Legal, which was founded by Trump’s Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller, filed a formal complaint against the MLB, blasting the league’s diversity pipeline and related initiatives as blatant examples of racial and sexist discrimination against white men.
And in 2023, the NHL banned all LGBTQ+ symbols from uniforms after a handful of players refused to participate in Pride Nights.
While the ban was lifted after pushback from sponsors, players and fans, Nicodemo believes it sent the wrong message to young male players. “I believe wholeheartedly that Pride nights save lives. I think [about] a gay kid that is watching hockey at home and seeing the rainbow flag and how important that is,” he says. “Gay kids need to see people representing pride. When I was coaching before COVID, when we used to actually wear suits when we coached, I wore a rainbow lapel in every game just to show it was okay.”
Some men’s leagues have done more to promote inclusivity. NBA Cares, the social justice arm of the league’s charitable programming, has prioritized including gay youth and men in their initiatives. Nicodemo has worked with NBA Cares, and Collins has contributed as an ambassador.
“This is very important for coaches, for those people in leadership positions, to think about as far as, ‘How do I get the best possible version of my athlete?’ … One way you do that is by creating a team environment where everyone feels safe,” says Collins.
Homophobia and misogyny in the men’s locker room
A player with a ball his hand sits in a locker room. (Jacob Wackerhausen/Getty Images)
Unlike men’s leagues, women’s leagues are more accepting of LGBTQ+ players. Billie Jean King, Brittney Griner and Abby Wambach are some of the many women who have thrived while competing as openly gay athletes.
Homophobia is more common among men. And in the locker room, it isn’t always easy to spot, as it often masks itself in homoeroticism.
“Two male athletes will kiss each other on the lips. And that’s considered to be love and appreciation that you scored that big goal. ‘I’m gonna kiss you and it’s not at all viewed to be perceived to be gay and the grabbing of the bums or the testicle area.’ This idea of showering together, slapping towels, that’s all considered to be like part of men’s sport,” says Weaving. “So it’s this idea where players can be as ‘gay’ as they want and in the context of the field or the locker room, they’re not perceived to be gay. But if they were to act that way outside of that sporting context, then they’re considered to be.”
Collins says this gender divide may be because of sexism and toxic masculinity. This kind of performative homoeroticism is only socially acceptable because it’s understood to be ironic—a joke that relies on not actually being gay. When the behavior slips beyond the bounds of “just joking,” it exposes an undercurrent of homophobia masked as camaraderie.
The financial cost of coming out: something to gain or lose?
Beyond all these pressures lies a monetary component for athletes who are considering opening the closet door while still in uniform. Cyd Zeigler, the cofounder of Outsports, wrote in a 2024 article that he knows “for a fact that agents have told gay athletes to stay in the closet” and that his “best answer has pointed to the agents and managers whose livelihoods depend on athletes maximizing their earning potential in just a few years.”
Weaving agrees. “The general managers and the owners have more traditionally homophobic, sexist thinking. They believe [LGBTQ+ players] will harm viewership,” she says. “It’s still taboo where athletes fear repercussions, predominantly, around sponsorships.”
The fear of losing out on money may be misguided. The first day Jason Collins’ number 98 jersey became available on the NBA website, one year after he came out, it was the top seller of all active NBA players. Carl Nassib’s jersey became a top seller on the NFL’s official online marketplace when he came out in 2021. And Michael Sam, the first gay NFL player, had the second-highest selling jersey in his 2014 rookie class of more than 250 draftees.
The Trump effect on the last closet
Perhaps the biggest factor keeping men in the closet is America’s current political climate, where the Trump administration and corporate America have abandoned DEI and so-called “woke” initiatives.
“The Trump administration asks districts to sign attestations to say that they’re not going to do DEI work in schools. That could be a pride flag hanging in the classroom,” says Nicodemo. “If you’re not creating an inclusive environment for these kids, then these kids are never going to feel comfortable coming out.”
What can be done?
As all these factors create a challenging environment for men to feel safe coming out in sports.
Collins says what could move the needle the most is an increase in role models who will make young athletes feel like they’re competing in a safe environment. “It definitely got to very dark, lonely places because I felt like I was going through this alone,” he says. “When I was younger, I was constantly looking for those role models, of people who have sort of been down this path,” he says.
Weaving agrees and says that a lack of LGBTQ-inclusive coaches can be more than just a deterrent for student-athletes seeking to grow their career.
“For many children, it doesn’t only make things uncomfortable, it can push them out of sports altogether,” she says. “Coaches play a big role. Youth sport is the starting point. If you can create positive environments, inclusive cultures at that level, it continues and helps to shift the pro culture.”
Collins remains hopeful that there will be more visibility of gay men in professional sports but underscores the need for role models to step up.
“If you’re a coach or if you’re an athletic director or even a headmaster out of school, you have to seek out help. You have to bring other organizations who have expertise. And it can be as simple as a 30- to 60-minute conversation, but at least you’re laying the groundwork down for educating those players, educating those athletes,” says Collins, a two-time NBA championship finalist who married his partner last month.
Scottie's Playtime 