Oklahoma school officials worship at the altar of Trump Read on Substack

(Some blue language within.)

Yes. This is happening.

A knuckle-dragging religious troglodyte Trump cultist in Oklohama disguised as the state superintendent of schools has made Bibles in the classroom a statewide requirement. Oh, it gets worse. Initially, when the requirement was made, only one Bible fit the requirement. I’ll let you guess which one.

The initial requirement was that the Bibles be bound in “leather or leather-like material for durability,” and include the United States Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence, and the Pledge of Allegiance. The only Bible that fits that requirements cost $59.99 and puts the profits directly into the wallet of one Donald J. Trump.

Fortunately for Donald Trump, while the requirement was that the Bibles purchased for schools with state money contain the U.S. documents, there isn’t a requirement that they not be made in a factory using child labor in China.

Fun fact: The “God Bless the USA” Bibles, as they’re called and selling for $59.99, are only made at the cost of $3, and again, in China…the nation Trump claims is bribing President Joe Biden.

I never read the entire Bible but because of a mostly-Southern childhood where I was forced to attend church, Bible school, revivals, a Baptist Halloween, and even a Baptist private school against my will, I am pretty damn familiar with it. I know there’s no mention in the Bible of the Declaration of Independence, the United States Constitution, the United States, or Donald Trump. Also, how was I forced to attend all that Baptist stuff when I was born Catholic? Why?

What fucknut Ryan Walters is trying to do is force his religion on the children of Oklahoma while making a broad appeal to Donald Trump.

Donald Trump is the easiest politician to manipulate because he’s a corrupt narcissist. It’s why Republicans and foreign governments rented his hotel rooms while he was president (sic), even when they didn’t stay at his hotels. There are many ways to purchase Trump’s affection.

William Barr once rented the ballroom at Trump’s Washington hotel. Who the hell goes to a William Barr party? That sounds brutal. You could run into a Cory Lewandowsky or a Stephen Miller at one of those. Scott Pruitt, a member of Trump’s cabinet needed a new mattress and instead of buying a new one at an actual business that sells mattresses, tried to purchase a used one from Trump’s DC Hotel. Why would you want to buy a used mattress that thousands of people got funky on and could possibly contain bedbugs instead of, oh, I don’t know, purchasing a brand new one nobody’s ever shagged on? A mattress that MAGAts got busy on is the worst.

Here, Walters is appealing to Trump’s narcissism and corruption, possibly to win a spot in his administration. Bribing someone is so much easier than working to charm them. And here, Walters, who probably has zero charm, is bribing Trump with taxpayer money.

Just as Louisiana is forcing the Ten Commandments to be displayed in every public classroom in the state despite its abysmal literacy rate, Oklahoma is forcing Bibles in its classrooms when 45 percent of its fourth graders are below the basic reading level. That’s not OK (see what I did there?).

Maybe Oklahoma should use the textbooks it has now to teach its children how to read before sticking unnecessary zealotry bullshit on its walls that they can’t read.

It’s too bad “thou shall not grift,” “thou shall not bribe,” and “thou shall not force its religious fuckery on thy schoolchildren” aren’t part of the Commandments.

Also, Bibles should NOT be in any public school classrooms. The Bible should not be taught in schools. What should be taught in school is math, reading, and history. Maybe if we do a better job at teaching history, we’ll stop being so stupid to repeat it. Current events should also be taught in classrooms as well (not what Beyonce is wearing but news) so people in Oklahoma and Louisiana can see that their Republican officials are trying to turn their states into the Taliban. Don’t do that. Taliban bad.

Because of pressure, the state is backtracking and adjusting the requirements for the Bibles, which they’re taking bids for now. The Constitution, Declaration of Independence, etc, etc, don’t have to be a part of the Bible now, they just gotta come with it. They’ve also adjusted the requirements for Fruity Pebbles to be sold in Oklahoma as the Ten Commandments no longer have to be printed on the label and can now be the toy surprise inside. It’s gotta suck to be a kid in Oklahoma. I’d Sooner live in a blue state. See what I did there? Never mind.

Walters is upset about having to change the requirement and said, “The left-wing media hates Donald Trump so much, and they hate the Bible so much, they will lie and go to any means necessary to stop this initiative from happening.”

Hmmm….if it didn’t have anything to do with Donald Trump, then why are you bringing him up? Walters is having great difficulty in hiding that this was all about buying 55,000 Trump Bibles at $55.99 each.

But, you don’t have to hate Donald Trump or the Bible, which Trump has never read, to not want Bibles in public schools.

Instead of requiring that Bibles and the Ten Commandments be placed in schools, require that the Constitution be placed in schools. Or better yet, before you become the State Superintendent of schools, especially in a yee-haw state, there should be a requirement that you READ the Constitution…and take a test on it.

Ryan Walters would flunk on the First Amendment as it says, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” Now, I know Walters is not Congress but I’m pretty sure the Constitution forbids any government from establishing a religion, which is what Walters is trying to do. He’s not trying to force the Koran or Torah in classrooms.

And by the way, is Walters requiring math and history books to be leather-bound or just the school’s Bibles? Maybe could they use that cheap “leather-like” material the $59.99 Trump Bibles come with.

Hey, shitweasels… When you guys pull this kind of crap, can you find a way to make it appear that it serves the betterment of society, the public, and the greater good instead of just serving Donald Trump and yourself? Hmmm?

Music note: I jammed to Verbena while coloring. (snip)