Odie has fallen in thrall of our radiator heater.

Ron is out grocery shopping. I want to start going with him, and have a few times, but lately I am not up to it and there are things I need to take care of while he is shopping. I was doing the dishes so he would have counters to put the groceries on when he got home. Yes, I am tired. But the funniest thing happened while I was doing them.

It has been cold on and off here in Florida during January and February. This last few nights it has been around 46 degrees or lower at sunrise. So before he goes to bed Ron turns the radiator on low with the temp dial about 72. The heater we have in our bedroom bathroom heats both rooms and as I get up about every hour to pee, when it gets cool enough I turn it on. Between the both of them they heat the main space and we keep the other doors closed until it warms up outside. Also the electronics in the Pink Palace keep the room about 74 on the coldest nights so far. I just have to remember to leave the computers up and running with the door closed.

So to the point of the post, while I was doing the dishes Odie wanted food. I gave it to him. But Odie is older, we think at least 12 but more likely older, and not in the best health. So while I went back to doing dishes after he finished eating, he went to the radiator heater that he often lays next to when it is running. We have noticed that when it is active he will lay near it or against it. He clearly loves the warm heat coming off it.

So he finished eating, came out, stretched out next to the heater. But no heat came out. So he got closer. Then he tried hitting it with his paw. Finally, as I was rushing to get my phone, I saw him rubbing his face on the fins. Yes even though the house was warm enough I gave in and turned on the radiator to the lower setting. But that was not working fast enough for him and he was getting upset so I went over and activated the medium 1,600 watt setting. That made it heat up fast enough and he laid back down next to it happy. As he fell asleep, I turned it back to the lower watt setting. Below is the pictures of our really spoiled fat cat. Hugs. Scottie

Memories, Ron, tears.

Short update. When Ron got home from shopping, he sensed something was wrong. He asked me about it. I told him briefly I had some more intrusive memories. He was quiet and then said when we put the groceries away we will talk. After we got done I went and sat down, I was not sure that I wanted to tell him, I had hid so much for so long. He asked if I wanted to talk and could he know what was upsetting me. We sat and talked, I told him the new memories, the details that were flooding my brain, the feelings I was experiencing with them. Every time I got to points where I would be too upset to talk, starting to cry he would tell me to slow down, breathe, take your time. Then when I got it all out, I couldn’t look at him. He softly said I needed to distract myself, and I explained how that was what I was trying to do but that wouldn’t help me heal or get over anything, we both knew from experience. I told him I needed a few minutes alone and he gave me that. When I came out he walked slowly to me and held his arms out, and I grabbed him, I clutched him. He held me back and kept telling me they were gone, they couldn’t hurt me anymore. Finally, I stepped back and said to him, but that is where you’re wrong, the memories don’t stop. The feelings don’t stop. And when I remember the abuse, I also feel the abuse. He pulled me to him and held me tight. He had no words, and I don’t have any either. I know eventually I will share this with all of you who want me too or are able to deal with it. I have learned that talking about it does help in a weird way. Yes it hurts at first, deeply intently, but ignoring it makes the pain build and become much worse.

For some reason at first when I was telling him I thought Ron was going to reject me as he started looking away. Then after I now realize he was struggling not to cry and with his anger, both which would have hurt me had he shown them. He has gone to lay down for a nap, talking to me about it first. I feel weird again. I know he will be watching me, he will be worried. Did I do wrong to tell him? Should I have hidden it, gone back to the days before he really knew much? Now my doubts are creeping in and trying to take root.

I am not going to proofread this for errors. Sorry, I do need to step back. Please overlook them or if they are important call me out in comments. I have spine shots tomorrow at 10. I have to get my mind in a better place, I have to find peace. Hugs. Scottie

Apartheid is alive and well in the land. A Comment by Suze Hartline

I am way behind in reading and replying to comments. But I am supper glad I saved them for getting to when I could. This comment from Suze is outstanding. I will first post the link she left it on, then her comment. Hugs. Scottie

NBC NEWS: WATCH: Kids sell food and drink on the streets of Rafah to help support families

SUZE HARTLINE

January 12, 2024 at 5:18 pm

I have visited Palestine twice….both in the early 2000’s. Kids were on the streets of Ramallah and Raffa everyday selling whatever they could for tourists spare change. I bought street food (falafel) for about ten kids one day…garnered a LOT of interest from Israeli police who seemed to think it was a strange activity. Those kids watched out for me though and led me to some truly wonderful shops where I could easily bargain. I made it a priority to purchase food every day in a Palestinian area to bring back to my hostel or hotel. On my last day in Rafah I was saying goodbye to a few kids and a funeral procession started down the street. One of the kids, a boy of about six, grabbed my hand and pulled me into a shop. I asked if he was okay and he said “missy, you stay off street, men are angry. I keep you safe” That little boy, if he has survived is a man now and I wonder about him every day. I get that Israel is all about their “homeland” but frankly it is the Arabs homeland too and they are treated like fourth class citizens. Apartheid is alive and well in the land.

Need good people to help like this one

I never seen or heard this, and I love it

Glynis Johns has died at 100. She appeared in many different things, but probably most notably as Mrs Banks in Mary Poppins. Stephen Sondheim wrote Send in the Clowns with her in mind.

Glynis Johns and Len Cariou recreate the “Send in the Clowns” scene and song from the end of A Little Night Music.

The Secrets of Homosexual History in America

The True History of Male Gay Brothels

Same sex relationships and male gay brothels were normal until Christianity took hold. Then the bigotry started. Sexual activity was an accepted part of everyday life, until regressive repressive Christians ruined it for everyone. And they are still at it today. Hugs

Welcome back to 🤪Crazy Histories🤪
As long as humanity has existed, there have been physical and romantic relationships between people of the same gender. And like straight people, those of varying sexualities have also looked for release in more promiscuous places. They say the oldest job in the world is prostitution, and these gay brothels that date from antiquity to modern day certainly prove that… #ancienthistory #historydocumentary #homosexual

LGBTQ Award winning short film – IN A MOMENT (w/ subtitles)

This is not the serious stuff I normally post. But in a way it is. It is a wonderful story of a high school boy not sure of himself, a father that talks only about girlfriends to the boy, and about overcoming fears of not being accepted or fitting in. It is only 17 minutes long, wonderfully subtitled. Just click the watch on YouTube. Hugs. Scottie

Max isn’t sure about his sexual orientation until he meets Leon, his openly gay classmate at his new school. When Max is singing an original song at a school concert something beautiful happens.

My Shadow is Pink by Scott Stuart – Official Read Along

Earlier I posted the version that had no words. I wished I had known this version was out there. It is about the same except this one has the words in the book, which are also on the screen for you to read along. Plus the CC is really good. Again this is based on real life. His young boy knew in his heart who he was and was not. In real life as in the book, the dad helped his son by accepting who he is, not trying to make him what he is not. I don’t know if the boy is trans, but I have seen him dressed in princess outfits with more boyish style hair and no real makeup. So he maybe gender fluid or nonbinary. It doesn’t matter, accepting young people even children for who they are and giving them the chance to grow and be, to learn for themselves who they are is what is important. Oh, I should mention this inoffensive book about a dad’s love helping him accept his son is one of the most banned books and a constant target of the fundamentalist Christians and maga right wing crowd. Mom’s for liberty and Mom’s of TikTok hate this book and claim it is porn and teaches sexualization of little kids. Hugs. Scottie

My Shadow Is Pink, by Scott Stuart, is a beautifully written rhyming story that touches on the subjects of gender identity, self acceptance, equality and diversity.

Watch more at amebatv.com!

Kian Lilien as: Boy Ryan Andes as: Dad Music: Celebration by Stephen Keech (license: YHDSPSYOVPCDAOSJ)

“Out” Full SparkShort | Celebrate Pride Month | Pixar

In honor of Pride Month, Director and Writer Steven Hunter and Producer Max Sachar present their Pixar SparkShort, Out. A short film in celebration of family, love, a rambunctious little dog, and so much more. Out is now streaming on #DisneyPlus. #DisneyPlusPride