Enlarge/ Students from Launch Charter School gather for a rally for National Gun Violence Awareness Day at Restoration Plaza on June 2, 2023, in the Crown Heights neighborhood of Brooklyn borough in New York City.
As the COVID-19 pandemic took hold in 2020, so did another grim reality: For the first time, guns became the leading cause of death for American children and teenagers, surpassing car accidents, the long-standing leader.
In 2021, youth firearm death rates did not fall to pre-pandemic levels as hoped, but instead continued a sharp rise to hit a new record high. That’s according to a recent study led by researchers in New York and published in the journal Pediatrics. The study was based on national mortality data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Nationwide, there were 4,752 firearm deaths of American children and teens (ages 0 to 19) in 2021, translating to a rate of 5.8 gun deaths per 100,000 people. The deaths represent a nearly 9 percent increase from 2020 (4,368 or 5.4 deaths per 100,000).
The study looked for disparities and trends in the data. As before, firearm deaths were largely in older teens, with 83 percent of deaths in teens ages 15 to 19. Most were among males, who accounted for 85 percent of the deaths. Black children remained disproportionately affected, with the gap widening—50 percent of the deaths were among Black children. The death rate among Black children and teens increased from 16.6 per 100,000 in 2020 to 18.9 per 100,000, the largest increase among the racial categories.
As for intent, 64 percent of the 2021 firearm deaths were from homicides and 30 percent were from suicides, with the remainder from unintentional shootings. Homicide rates increased across all age groups, which was part of a multi-year trend. Between 2018 and 2021, homicides increased 66 percent in the 0–4 and 5–9 age groups. For kids ages 10–14, homicides increased 100 percent and 62 percent in teens 15–19.
The racial disparity in homicides was stark, with the rate of deaths among Black children being 11 times higher than that of white children. For suicides, white children accounted for 78 percent of the deaths.
Regarding where children and teens had the highest rates of firearm deaths, the study found that places where baseline death rates were already high got worse—namely in the South.
Enlarge/ Pediatric firearm mortality rate by state and year from 2018 to 2021. States with absolute mortalities <20 are grayed out because of unreliable crude death rates (these include Arkansas, Delaware, Hawaii, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, North Dakota, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Vermont, West Virginia, Wyoming, and District of Columbia).
“In 2021, firearm mortalities were largely concentrated in Southern states,” the authors wrote. “Louisiana had the highest death rate per 100,000 persons (17.0), followed by Mississippi (14.8), Alabama (11.4), Montana (11.1), and South Carolina (10.2).”
The authors speculated that this could be due to “variability in social determinants of health, inequity, firearm access, legislation, and access to preventative strategies (violence intervention, suicide prevention, firearm safety).” State poverty levels were also tightly linked with pediatric firearm death rates, the study found.
In all, the authors called for more data to understand the deadly trend and develop prevention strategies.
“These findings highlight the necessity and urgency of real-time epidemiologic surveillance of this epidemic and implementation of evidence-informed strategies to prevent pediatric firearm fatalities among children and adolescents at highest risk,” the authors wrote.
Again Ten Bears has found a great video to watch. This one is shorter than the last and details quickly a bunch of the malfeasance trump committed. Hugs. Scottie
Thanks to Ten Bears for the link. When will the US stop supporting this Apartheid nation? They clearly are not willing to give the Palestine any rights, the Palestine’s live in what is justly called an open air prison. They have no rights, they have no legal remedies but instead of being under the laws of Israel they are under military rule, their treatment is not questioned by the checks and balances of laws. But the US not only supports this corrupt government by billions of dollars, a country that has universal healthcare that the people in the US are told is too expensive for us to have. Does that make sense? This is no different from the US supporting the South African apartheid by white supremacist against black people. Just because this is religious based doesn’t make it right. We are watching the genocide of an entire group of people, and we seem to be OK with it. I AM NOT! Hugs. Scottie
Hundreds of Israeli settlers on Sunday forced their way into the flash point Al-Aqsa Mosque complex in occupied East Jerusalem to celebrate the Jewish New Year, reports Anadolu Agency.
Israeli settlers observe the Rosh Hashanah (New Year) holiday from September 15 to September 17 this year. They will also mark the Sukkot holiday at the end of September and the Simhat Torah holiday on October 6.
In a statement, the Jordan-run Islamic Waqf Department said Israeli forces had emptied the Al-Aqsa complex from Palestinian worshipers before allowing settlers in.
According to the statement, Palestinians under 50 years old were prevented from entering the site.
A number of Palestinians were arrested by Israeli forces from inside the complex, local sources said.
There was no comment from the Israeli authorities on the report.
For Muslims, Al-Aqsa represents the world’s third-holiest site. Jews, for their part, call the area the Temple Mount, saying it was the site of two ancient Jewish temples.
Israel occupied East Jerusalem, where Al-Aqsa complex is located, during the 1967 Arab-Israeli War. It annexed the entire city in 1980 in a move never recognized by the international community.
Please see the intro to my last three post. I am going to simply copy and paste it here as it is the same thing.
The Christian Taliban moral police strike again. When are people in the US going to get tired of the Christian nationalist trying to take over the country and force everyone to live under the doctrines of their churches. Think about it, this is not religious freedom, this is religious dictatorship. Religious freedom is everyone gets to practice and live their life according to their religion as long as it doesn’t harm others. By the Christians insisting everyone honor their idea of the holy day, they deny the religious freedom of others. What about religious sects and religions that have Saturday as the holy day? What about atheist that don’t have a holy day, and their ability to enjoy each day without the religious entanglements is also part of religious freedom. I know that some fundamental religious leaders like to claim there is no right to not be religious, but that is stupid. To be free to practice one’s personal beliefs, one must be free to have no set religious restrictions. People this is a fringe fundamentalist group of very vocal, very driven people willing to rule over every aspect of other peoples lives. They are the worst busybody nosey neighbors ever in existence. Their goal in life is to make you follow their ways, their ideas of right and wrong no matter what you believe, no matter what you think, in fact you are not important as a person for them. You need to comply so their god is happy, that is it. They don’t care if you’re happy or if things are good for you. They only care if their god is happy and they think they know the secret to making their god happy. Fight back. Hugs
The artists, many of whom were people of color and LGBTQ, left the premises to avoid violence
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Over the weekend, a retreat for Appalachian artists in Bledsoe, Kentucky had to be cut short after a conservative Christian mob invaded the rental space falsely claiming that the participants were desecrating a local chapel.
The event was run byWaymakers Collective, a non-profit group that provides grant money and learning opportunities for artists in the region. They say they’ve given away over $1 million to date and this past weekend was supposed to mark their second annual gathering.
The three-day event took place at Pine Mountain Settlement School (PMSS), an 800-acre campus with dozens of buildings. The school’s website says “We have hosted everything from church retreats to theater conferences to recording sessions.” Given that many of the Waymakers’ members had attended events there in the past and “always felt welcome, safe and had positive experiences,” it seemed like a perfect place for the occasion. The schedule included performances, meals, lectures, and free time for the artists to explore their creativity among like-minded peers.
Importantly, participants also had an option to visit the chapel on campus as a “Healing Space.” Waymakers explained it this way:
The healing space was something we instituted last year when our gathering occurred right after the flood in Eastern Kentucky and we knew many of our participants traveling from Eastern Kentucky were coming off of weeks of relief work and being impacted by the floods themselves. We chose to continue that offering this year… It was a spa-like environment to help facilitate restorativeness, rest, and reflection that we invited people to use how they wanted to: take a nap, sit in quiet meditation, or prayerful reflection within their own religious and spiritual traditions.
Organizers said the chapel was decorated with pillows, “soothing lights,” plants, and a painting that included an “Om” symbol—presumably to facilitate the meditation.
That’s what this controversy is all about.
While the “Om” wasn’t meant to be religious in nature, when some people in the community saw pictures of the painting, they flipped out over the idea that a non-Christian symbol made its way into a supposedly Christian space (even though PMSS isn’t a religious location).
Waymakers organizers said they were told they had use of the entire campus as part of their rental agreement, and the only restriction regarding the chapel involved the pews—they were told not to move them because the floors were recently resurfaced. In other words, there was no reason the painting should have been a concern for anyone.
On Saturday, however, an estimated 8-9 community members took matters into their own hands, barged into the space, and entered the chapel “to make sure the House of The Lord wasn’t being disrespected.”
Tate Napier, the mob member whose posted about the situation on Facebook, told reporter Jennifer McDaniels of the Tri-City News:
The people in the chapel said they were doing nothing wrong, and I asked if they were in there to worship Jesus, and a few started raising their voices at me, so I told them to just get their stuff – that we weren’t there to argue, and I even helped them gather their things and pack them to their cars. After that all happened, the state police and sheriff deputies showed up, and they agreed to stay out of the chapel, but then, ultimately, they decided to leave because they said they felt unsafe.
…
If they want to do that stuff, they can do it in their own homes or buildings or wherever else, but it’s not happening in Jesus’ house as long as I’m around to defend it…
Napier, aChristianwho wascharged with first-degree sexual abuseafter being caught in bed with a 15-year-old girl, had no business telling anyone to “get their stuff.” He makes it sound like he was merely escorting out people who shouldn’t have been there when, in fact, he’s the one who didn’t have access to the space. Neither did his colleagues. (Two deputies were indeed stationed outside the chapel afterwards, but unlike what his post said, they weren’t necessarily there to keep people from entering.)
One of the artists in attendance didn’t see the mob’s actions as helpful in any way. Referring to them as “yt supremacists,” Kabrea James said the invaders alleged the artists were “desecrating their space” and “demanded that we leave.” The artists left in order to avoid escalating the situation—which was understandable given that a lot of them come from marginalized communities.
Shortly after the conflict began, a PMSS staffer showed up and played mediator (which the Waymakers said they appreciated). Eventually, police were called in by both PMSS and some of the artists who felt like they were in danger. According to Waymakers, “We were also then told that the Executive Director and Board of the PMSS had ordered our group to not return to the chapel during our stay.” (How does that make any sense?!)
In a statement released by Waymakers on Monday, they expressed concern about why their safety wasn’t paramount in this situation and why their contract wasn’t honored:
What was, ultimately, at issue was the safety of our collective. We are a family-friendly community and we had parents at the event who had brought their children. PMSS is a place that has long welcomed children onto its campus, so we ask the PMSS Board and leadership: Why were children, families, and our guests put at risk in this way? Why were outside people who were not part of our gathering allowed to be present on the campus and interrupt our private, paid-for event? Why were there no safety procedures in place that the staff could follow to keep the people who rent PMSS safe?
These were some of the many reasons we made the call to end our event a day early and leave PMSS for the safety of everyone in attendance, including the staff of PMSS that we did not want to be witness to these intense interactions. To ensure the safety of all of those in attendance, we organized caravans out of the property and county so that no members left the property alone. Many of our participants are deeply traumatized by this experience, especially those of us with personal lived experiences of racial and gender-based violence. We are offering access to free therapy as part of our aftercare approach for the participants that were there.
McDaniels, the reporter, said it’s “unclear if the chapel was a part of the Waymakers Collective retreat facility lease agreement or not,” but the Waymakers certainly believed they had access to it. (Hell, their version of the story involves specific advance discussions about using the chapel.) PMSS has not yet issued any statement about the matter.
Meanwhile, Dan Mosley, the Harlan County Judge Executive, offered support for the mob shortly after the conflict occurred:
I have a lot on my mind this evening but I’m going to be brief. I’m proud of the people of Bledsoe and Big Laurel. Your perspective is my perspective, today, and in the days ahead. It’s always better to ask questions than throw stones and civil discourse is always the best pathway to resolution.
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God.” Matthew 5:9
“Your perspective is my perspective,” he said of the intolerant Christians who magically claimed ownership of space that wasn’t theirs.
Mosley added separately that seeing the “Om” symbol in the chapel “made me sick at my stomach”:
He basically praised the mob for taking a stand without resorting to violence, as if they deserved a reward for merely threatening the artists rather than doing something even more insane. The comments on that first post overwhelmingly agreed with that position, as did manyothers in the community. (This is apparently what they do in small towns.)
None of the groups opposing Waymakers’ use of the space has issued any official response yet. They sure as hell haven’t denounced the invaders, who simply don’t believe a chapel should be used by anyone who doesn’t share their conservative Christian faith, even if the space is no longer used as a religious site and even if the artists were contractually allowed to temporarily decorate the chapel as they saw fit.
This is nothing more than an act of white Christian supremacy that thankfully didn’t end with victims who are LGBTQ people and artists of color (including ones who are practicing Christians themselves).
If county leaders and PMSS officials aren’t going to take this seriously, and the invaders face no consequences for barging, uninvited, onto private property, it’s hard to imagine anything will change.
The start of the article doesn’t mention it, but this school is in Ohio. I followed a link in the article and this school also stopped celebrating diversity day and the students protested. Seems the right is again desperately trying to push a primarily white cis straight Christian society. And while they claim that others are not civil enough, these same people use threats, violence, and they mock and insult others. Notice how the anti-diversity anti-LGBTQIA maga republicans act when others are testifying. No respect whatsoever. Fundamentalist Christian racist bigot maga are the most self entitled people ever. Hugs.
Zack Carreon
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WVXU
Parents and students attend the Forest Hills school board meeting on Sept. 20, 2023.
The debate over whether discussions about race, inclusion, and LGBTQ+ issues belong in Forest Hills Schools was reignited after Superintendent Larry Hook made the decision to paint over a student-created mural at the start of the school year.
The mural depicted the hands of people of different races signaling love and solidarity surrounded by symbols of equality and acceptance of various sexual orientations.
Advocate FHSD
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Provided
The mural inside Nagel Middle School before it was covered and painted over.
Students at Nagel Middle School created the mural years ago, but when students returned to the building this year, some were surprised to see it covered by a banner promoting Forest Hills’s new “Culture Blueprint.” That banner was torn down. Shortly after, the mural was completely painted over, sparking outrage from some students and parents.
On the Forest Hills Schools’ website, the Culture Blueprint is described as a reminder to students to do their best and be mindful of others. But some say the superintendent’s actions send a different message.
Dozens showed up to Wednesday’s school board meeting holding signs of the mural. Parents and students spoke during public comment in opposition to the superintendent’s decision.
Forest Hills parent Jeff Nye addressed Hook directly, calling his response to the initial backlash childish.
“A 7th or 8th grade kid — 12- or 13-years-old — damaged that banner and that’s unacceptable and should be punished,” Nye said. “But before that happened, you had an opportunity to reflect and take action, value the feedback you received, to lead by example, to lead with humility, and say ‘I made a mistake, I shouldn’t have put it there,’ but you didn’t. You doubled down. You didn’t act like leader. You acted like a kid. You took your ball and you went home and I’m incredibly disappointed.”
High school student Norah Zellen also had strong words for Hook, saying that permanently covering the mural will have a more negative impact on students than district leaders thought.
“The mural exhibited a safe and inclusive learning environment, yet it was painted over. This action shows thoughtlessness, a lack of authenticity, and calls into question if the school board and superintendent want some students erased,” Zellen told Hook.
Hook was noticeably silent on the issue during the meeting. Each time the superintendent spoke about school matters, audience members held up signs of the mural.
During the meeting, board member Leslie Rasmussen called out the superintendent for his unwillingness to address the elephant in the room.
“Larry, you made a lot of wonderful comments about the awesome work our students are doing. I don’t want that to be overshadowed tonight or any time, but I want to take a moment to make sure you see all these students in the audience. They deserve acknowledgment,” Rasmussen said.
Hook responded, “I see them,” but made no further comments on the matter until questioned by reporters after the meeting.
Hook’s response
The superintendent defended the mural’s removal, saying despite the overwhelming opposition, most people in the Forest Hills community wanted to see it gone.
“I’ve talked to a lot of people who were very upset that it was there,” he said. “So, it’s kind of created this battle that shouldn’t even be in schools. We need to focus on our education. We need to focus on what’s important. That doesn’t mean we marginalize anybody.”
A small collection of adults also spoke during public comment defending Hook’s decision. One attendee, who took offense to parents and students supporting the mural, was removed by law enforcement after getting into a physical interaction with another audience member.
Read the full article. According to posts on social media today, the woman who snatched an audience member’s phone is the mother of Christianist school board member Katie Stewart, whose own children reportedly attend private Catholic school. At last night’s meeting Stewart wore a Gadsden flag t-shirt. The TikTok video below has gone viral.
At 11, hear from the woman who was attacked while filming a Forest Hills school board meeting. Parents and students were speaking out against the removal of a diversity mural. @Local12pic.twitter.com/cNKa0MrnKm
This is the mother of Katie Stewart, @FHSchools Board Member. She also laughed when a parent discussed her child’s suicide attempt and mocked students and other speakers. #classy#niceexamplehttps://t.co/HIaJa5xG1J
Students, parents and community members held a rally ahead of the Forest Hills School board meeting on Wednesday. Attendees say they’re upset about the decision by the Forest Hills School District to paint over a diversity mural. @FOX19pic.twitter.com/OH34kKGOiE
That woman’s DAUGHTER sits on the SCHOOL BOARD. Perhaps Katie STEWART should RETHINK her WARDROBE CHOICE in light of her MOM’S ANTICS. pic.twitter.com/HvYWYCabWG
She also laughed when a parent discussed her child’s suicide attempt and mocked students and other speakers
To me that’s even worse than the assault.
I wonder if it’s time to ressurect ACT UP! techniques? If this woman goes to church, perhaps go to the same church as disrupt the service: “WHAT DOES GOD THINK OF LAUGHING ABOUT SUICIDE ATTEMPTS?’
Shaming on Twitter is considered a badge of honor and they have no shame. But to so in churches or in grocery stores or at their hairdressers, that will perhaps do more?
I’m thinking of the beardy guy that is in DC and always behind (the latest) republican politician accused of wrongdoing.
Right? ACT UP wasn’t afraid to take on the churches. You do that when people are dying. We’ve already had a few killings (RIP, O’Shae Sibley). How many more will it take?
Very true. Back in the 80’s, we stormed Toronto’s St. Micheal’s Cathedral and dumped condoms on the altar because of the Church’s stance regarding their use, especially in preventing HIV/AIDS. We barricaded Conservative Pols Offices and, on more than one occasion, stood toe to toe with cops who wanted to fuck with us during marches…it didn’t end well for them. It was nothing for us to dump pink Jello by the bucket loads onto cop cars, Church steps, etc. We made a ruckus and did so until we were heard.
Long past time to teach society that lesson again. Direct Action Now.
We need to act up for sure and run for school board seats or get allies to run because imagine the lgbtq kids in that school seeing this how humiliating and hurtful. We need to stand up so they know to do the same when it’s their turn.
“Christianist school board member Katie Stewart, whose own children reportedly attend private Catholic school”
So it is none of her business what it happening at the school in question, but still finds herself in a position to dictate terms there. Just waiting for the cries of “I’m being silenced!”
Where i live its practically impossible to find the backstory on school board candidates unless you know somebody who knows somebody who knows them. School board seats are classified as non-partisan, so you cant even go by party affiliation. Their websites & mailers are useless – so generic as to convey no useful info.
This is the comment I left on Barry’s site. You have no idea how much this upset me. We must stop this. Hugs
Hello Barry. I like this only because you are sharing it, not because I like what these bastards did to these children. This is abuse, child abuse, and detestable in every way imaginable. I am trying to write this through the tears running down my face. Barry what are the next steps, what about the appeals? This must be taken to the highest levels of the US government and to the US congress. Are any organizations raising money and fighting to get this changed? When you first mentioned this to me, I had no understanding how bad it was! I doubt many in our community of blog readers do. I am going to reblog this to my Playtime. I know you left the link, that is how I got here, but by my dogs that love gravy this must be fought and stopped. As a person who suffered child abuse, I hate this with every fiber of my being. There has to be better, more humane, more educated ways to care for these children. Shocked for wetting the bed, WTF, there are many reasons people wet the bed even as adults! To be punished for doing it as you’re being punished is sadistic! I belong to a survivors forum and read of sadistic bastards like my childhood was filled with who would get off on doing this to a kid, to me! Sorry Barry, did not mean to get so upset or so … in your comment section. But to do this to children that can not help how they are born … Sorry I have to go, or I will say things you will have to censor. Best wishes, Scottie
I have been distracted and unable to really function online the past week or more of days. I have unfortunately been thinking / remembering / dwelling / reliving the summer of abuse I had when I was shipped off to Canada. I guess the goal was to “make a man of me”. I had a song I had recently learned and sang it to my self constantly along with “Lean on me”, “Bridge over troubled waters”, and a few others. Songs about helping hands or someone willing to help. But the song “Day is done” held a special meaning I created in my head as a small and tiny 12 year old boy desperate for help.
I sent a request to Jill asking her to play the song without mentioning why. She was kind enough to do so. I had hoped the song being given Jill’s loving treatment of songs when she posts them would stop the intrusion of the memories of that summer from invading my life. It did not. So I wrote to Jill and explained why the song meant so much to me. She was very gracious and we had conversations about it. Again I hoped it would stop the memories. It has not. They are interfering with my interactions on the computer, I can not focus on stuff. I get lost in my memories and emotions. I want to hide in videos but I can’t even remember what I am seeing / hearing.
I had mentioned to Jill that before on my other blog I use to talk a lot about my abuse when I felt the need to and that it helped me deal with it. I also mentioned that I got attacked there for sharing my abuse on my blog because a couple of complainers felt it was upsetting, disturbing, and they got too upset reading it. They complained it was turning off my readers but only a coubple said anything to me about not making the posts. I think someone on this blog commented almost something similar when I wrote about the angry hurt rape I experienced by my teenage hell spawn sibling. I asked Jill if I could share parts of the letter I wrote her detailing some of that summer. She agreed and offered me comfort but also warned me of what I had told her of the complainters. I think she did not want that to happen and upset me further.
I took her advice and gave it a lot of thought. Jill is a very smart compassionate woman who I admire. But the memories won’t stop. I even mentioned some of it to Ron in hopes that expressing that small amount would make the memories stop. I try not to tell Ron too much of my abuse. He is a wonderful loving man who knows I was abused physically, sexually, and emotionally, and he tries hard to comfort me when I have the nightmares and am in distress at night, when I thrash about, or wake screaming. But again it is something I had never planned to share with him. But when on a trip in 2007 I shared some of my childhood he had already had figured out I was abused, he just did not know how bad it was.
So in hopes it will help as my prior therapists have said it will, I will post what I shared with Jill, but I will edit it as needed. ***Warning below is the story of the physical and sexual abuse I endured the summer I spent in Canada as a child. *** If you do not want to know what I suffered, please skip the rest of this post. Hugs
———————————————————————
This is a picture of me that summer. The picture was labeled 11 or 12. But it was the summer after my 6th grade so I must have been 12 years old. My birthday is in March. I told Jill I was not sure if I was 12 or 13 but I must have been 12. The dog is three-legged, named Prince, and was one of my only other comforts of that summer. The woman watching me is the mother of my adoptive father. I was always watched I guess to see if I broke a rule so I could be further punished. To me the picture shows me still standing and being a normal boy despite what they were doing to me. Hugs
As best I can figure out, I was adopted around the age three. I don’t know if I had just turned three or how long I had been three but that is when the papers I found say I was, 3 years old when I was taken from the state of NY by bus to Vermont. I have very vague memories of the trip. The story about the song begins below.
I was 12 years old. I was about to move into the Junior high school from our local small town school where the elementary school principal knew something was wrong and did what he could to protect me, to the joint JR / SR high school for the area in a nearby large town. That summer my adoptive parents decided I should go live in Canada all summer from the end of school until start of the next, living with the adoptive father’s mother and her second husband.
The adoptive father was the oldest of 9 children. His father was an abusive drunk who died when the adoptive father was starting the 8th grade. He quit school to provide for his 8 siblings and mother. He became an extremely well-muscled arrogant bruiser who loved bar fights and was well feared. He hated the world and was very jealous of those that had an education and faired better than he did in life. It was that kind of anger at learning that caused him to ban me from having books including schoolbooks in the house for years because he felt I was not manly enough. But unlike his hell spawn boys he never showed me the secrets of the skills he did have, he was a master wood worker / carpenter with the certifications to prove it, a millwright, a skilled wielder, and other building construction related fields. He was very talented with what he did, but his arrogant angry willing to fight attitude combined with his inability to understand math (other than tape measure measurements and basic addition / subtraction) kept him from ever advancing to the place in society he felt he deserved. He also did not read very well and talked in an uneducated manner. He would be a proud maga today. He got the adoptive mother pregnant when she was 14 and, while she had very good intelligence something the adoptive father lacked, her schooling ended at that point.
Back to the summer I was sent off to Canada because the adoptive father did not want me around. Please remember he had taken his anger and frustrations on me all my life to this point. To say I was mistreated would be a huge understatement. I was physically and sexually assaulted not only by him, but he made it clear to his hell spawn of two girls and two boys, all older than me by at least five years, they were free to use me or do to what they wished to me. I knew not to complain. But when I was in 1st grade as a very bruised slight boy in torn clothes who would put his head down on my desk and get some much needed sleep, the school investigated and the adoptive parents were accused of child abuse. A story I will tell you if you wish, but not important to the song. It caused the adoptive parents to move us three times in less than half a year to another state, back then to the same state, then again but a much smaller town. The moved caused the charges to never be followed up on. After that the beatings grew less and less severe, but the sexual abuse got much worse.
So at first I looked at the trip as an escape, not realizing what was instore for me. The adoptive fathers mother married a man with a farm, it was a good farm but not great. He had a married son that will become central to this. After the adoptive parents left, I was sat down and explained the rules. I was to do as I was told, no argument or back talk, speak only to ask a question or when addressed, but otherwise keep my mouth shut, I would work as long as told, I would rest when given permission, I would obey all the time. They explained that they were going to make a man of me. I can only think that was the adoptive father’s directions, as it would happen outside the US so I would not have any help. At first I thought it would be ok, I was used to mistreatment. I figured I just needed to be good and work hard and it would be OK. After all this was only for the summer. It got farther than I imagined very fast.
I will fast forward through most of the daily routine, the early morning being pulled out of bed, the working until I couldn’t stand up in the evening. But here comes the point of this email and the song. Sorry but to understand why it is so important to me I had to give you the background.
*** trigger warnings the worst of the abuse there ***
Almost every afternoon I would be ordered to the barn. The worst part may have been I knew why and what was coming. The son and wife of the adoptive fathers mother’s second husband would have canes. Sometimes to be extra cruel they would make me pick them up and hand them to them. Remember these people controlled my life so there was no way not to go or to disobey.The barn doors were closed and locked as I stood there shaking. I was positioned facing a wall only inches from it. Then when they were ready and positioned, I was told to “Run you little fucking bastard”! As I turned and tried to run to find safety, they started to hit me with the wooden canes they used on the cattle. (one reason I refuse to use or have simple wooden crooked handle canes) They would chase me around until they had little slight tiny me cornered and beat me until I was on the ground. I was ordered to my knees, ordered to undo Carl’s pants. Open his belt, undo his pants button, pull the zipper down, and pull down his pants and underwear. Then I was ordered to either lick his balls or take his penis into my mouth.He was almost always hard by now but sometimes not. I would suck him, give him oral sex, occasionally being directed by him or his watching wife to stop and suck or lick his balls, then return to giving him oral sex until he finished in my mouth. When he came, I was to swallow and keep sucking his cock so that I got every drop. If any drippled out of my mouth I would be beaten more with the canes, if I stopped before told I could, I would be hit with the canes. During all the sex act part if they felt I was not trying hard enough to please him or for any reason she, the wife, would hit me with her cane. During all this sex act time they both would be insulting me, calling me degrading names, threatening me with more beatings if I did not do better.The worst was the times when after I had made him finish in my mouth and swallowed as commanded, pulled back up his underwear and pants, closed them up, sometimes I would be ordered to remain on my knees and not move. By then my knees hurt so bad from kneeling on the concrete floor of the barn. They would leave or move around the barn doing stuff, sometimes they would order me to follow them which was better for me as I could get off my knees. Soon they would return or order me to get back on my knees, always with the threat of cane hits. After the first couple times I knew what was to follow and I hated it more than all the rest. I would be ordered to unzip Carl and take out his penis. Then put it in my mouth. Then he would pee. He would piss in my mouth. I would be ordered repeatedly to swallow more, do it more quickly as it swelled out of my mouth as I franticly gulped down his pee. If I did not drink as much as they thought I should I after I again put his cock back in his pants and zipped him up I would be beaten with the canes. During all this time I would be told that I was a cum swallowing piss drinking worthless bastard and so much worse. After they had their fun I was given free time until it was evening milking time when I was required to work again. I often begged just to give him a blow job to avoid the beatings and the pissing but that would have denied them a lot of their fun I guess. Sorry to put you through this but most people have no idea of what my damned childhood was like. Ron says it is an incredible miracle I am as sane or mentally, emotionally, physically stable as I am.And he doesn’t know this fuller account of that summer nor a lot of my childhood abuse, I cannot bring myself to tell him. It is enough he must hear me screaming in pain or fear at night and try to help me, without burdening him with this knowledge. And I struggle every day, and at night the nightmares come.
*** abuse part over ****
Now to the part about, the song. Why it is an important part of my childhood and especially during what I just revealed to you. See my adoptive mother revealed to me just before I left (as she laid on top of me … another story you might not want to know …) that my real father was alive and in NY state. She described him or what she claimed he looked like and gave me a few small tantalizing things I was desperate for. She gave me very little more than that but promised if I was a good boy while gone and pleased her more when I got home, she would tell me who he was. I so badly wanted to know more, but she told me I had to earn that information. I knew what that meant. But if … the hope …! I had recently learned the Day is Done song lyrics and music. I could sing it from memory. Every line seemed to be my unknown dad talking to me.As I cried in the barn, in my bed, and all the time I was in Canada I dreamed of my unknown dad. I knew if I thought of him hard enough he would know I was being hurt, that I needed him, and he would come to rescue me. In my head I created so many dreams of him showing up, defeating everyone hurting me, saving me and taking me to a wonderful new life with him, my dad. Every day many times a day, especially after the afternoon abuse, I sang that song to myself and dreamed of my savior dad coming to get me.
Sadly as an abused kid, I did not stop to think why I was up for adoption in the first place. It did not occur to me that my dad simply gave me up because he was a man who couldn’t stop fucking every woman he met and already had a bunch of kids at home and more elsewhere. From what I have found out much later he may have been paid to do so by the adoptive mother’s father for some reason, at least the adoptive mother’s father paid for the adoption costs. The adoptive parents never came clean with me and as you can imagine I long ago stopped believing anything they told me.
So that is the story of why the song is so important to me. During that summer of abuse it was the lifeline I clung to thinking it was something my dad was asking me, thinking if I believed hard enough my real dad would save me. Like all such beliefs without facts to back them up, it was a lie and false hope. No one showed up to save me. At one point I was allowed to call my adoptive parents while the adoptive grandparents sat there and listened, and I begged to be allowed to come back home. I promised to be a good boy, promised to everything asked of me, promised to never complain … but they already knew what was happening to me and felt it was good for me I guess, would make me more compliant as a teenager in their home.
During the email conversations with Jill, I shared some more of the physical abuse I suffered. Below is some of that, again edited. Hugs
As a 4 or 5 year old I was taken to have my leg bone put back in the hip socket due to being “tossed to see how far I could fly” down the stairs for an afternoon. The doctors think that one of the reasons I have hip and spine damage so bad relates to those … fun times by the hell spawn siblings. I remember my adoptive mother once laughing with friends as she described how my hell spawn sisters were holding me by the arms and legs throwing me into the air to let me land … sometimes on their bed. But they suddenly went out to play and after a while she went to their room where she found me unconscious crumpled up on the floor and couldn’t wake me up. Seems the hell spawn had thrown me into a closed closet door.But no, I was not taken to any medical place to be examined and no the hell spawn did not get into trouble. When you described me as something they could take out and play with and throw me into a closet when they were done you were more correct than you could know. For the first nearly 7 years I slept in a hallway as they did not feel the need to provide me with a bed or even a room. When my older hell spawn siblings would take me into their beds I would enjoy the comfort, after paying the price for it.
If dear readers you made it this I thank you, and you have a far better understanding of me and my childhood than you did before. Now friends I must, I really have to go do something, watch something, a funny video or a m ovie I can totally immerse myself in. I so desperatly need to get the things in this letter out of my mind. Hugs
Anyone who has followed me for a while or seen what I posted on Ark’s blog knows I am terrified of spiders. Have been from my first memorizes. But I still like good documentaries, and this goes under know your enemy. I don’t have a category labeled “scary” but I am thinking I might need one. Hugs
Meet a family of hairy, scary eight-legged beasts of all shapes and sizes. This bizarre creature showcase is as fascinating as it is frightening, featuring spiders that walk on water, cartwheel across deserts, shoot hairs at predators, and delivery venom 15 times deadlier than a rattlesnake’s.
Advocate FHSD/Provided
Scottie's Playtime 
