A funny thing happened on the way to the airport… by Ann Telnaes
Wow. I won the 2025 Pulitzer Prize for Illustrative Reporting and Commentating. Read on Substack
Thank you so much for all your comments and notes of congratulations!
I feel like I am late to my own party but I’m traveling overseas to to do presentations about Press Freedom and the time zones are really messing with me. Once I head again to the airport for the next leg of my trip, I’ll post some thoughts and photos for paid subscribers. And yes, I was in my lyft heading to the airport when I got the Pulitzer news.
Meanwhile, here’s what my lovely Norwegian hosts had waiting when I checked into my room.
*** and some more great news! Due to you all, my Substack Open Windows has reached 100,000 subscribers!!
The news that we had a new Pope hit just as I was wrapping up this cartoon, so I quickly finished and posted it on social media before the name was announced, even before I sent it to my clients. I don’t know what I was thinking, that the cartoon would have an extra ten minutes of shelf life? As Trump said about the Constitution, I don’t know. Is this cartoon still relevant?
Trump posted an AI-created image of him as Pope. He’s really big about fake photos right now. I think Trump was trying to troll Democrats, but what he ended up doing was insulting Catholics. Catholics can take a joke, but they also know an insult when they see one.
Instead of doing presidential things like lowering egg prices, ending either of the two wars he promised would be over by now, or negotiating tariffs and legislation, Trump was trolling. Later, he denied it.
He said he didn’t know how the AI image ended up being tweeted from his or the White House’s official Twitter accounts. What happened? Did he lose control of his presidency (sic), Twitter account, and bladder all on the same day? Of course not. He lost control of his bladder years ago.
Trump also claimed that the AI image didn’t upset Catholics, but it did, with one priest calling him a “clown.” (snip-MORE)
Kids, I can’t give you the super-long blog that you deserve to go with this cartoon. I have to be at an event in about 30 minutes in Washington, DC, and I haven’t looked to see how many metro stops that is, and I still need to get dressed and make myself smell good.
I started this cartoon at home, worked on it some more on the train, and finished it in my hotel room. After that, I went to Ben’s Chili Bowl, which is an institution in this city and only two stops from my hotel on the green line. And now I kinda want a nap because of those half-smoke dogs.
Anyway, Marco Rubio is currently doing a lot of duties in the Trump regime. He’s the Secretary of State, in charge of the National Archives, director of USAID, and now he’s the National Security Adviser, which was dumped on him after Trump demoted Mike Waltz to the role of Ambassador to the United Nations.
The ambassadorship to the UN would be an important job in any other administration, but not this one. Trump would rather pull out of the UN than participate in it. The ambassadorship to the UN is about as important in the Trump regime as the Secretary of Education.
The last person to be Secretary of State while also serving as National Security Adviser was Henry Kissinger, and Marco Rubio is not Henry Kissinger.
Marco struggles to be Marco. He has no firm commitment to any political position because Trump might tell him to change one, or two, or several.
Marco is not the dumbest Republican in Washington. I wouldn’t put him down with Tommy Tuberville, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert, Marsha Blackburn, or Cindy Hyde-Smith, but he’s no Katie Porter either. Sorry, I couldn’t think of any current Republicans to use an example of a smart person.
Senator Tammy Duckworth said there is “no way he [Rubio] can do that and do it well.” When he was just the Secretary of State, he wasn’t doing that one job well. And who can say he ever did his Senate job well?
Duckworth also said, “There’s no way he can carry … that entire load on his own.”
Marco was in the Signal chat group leaking out war plans, and he didn’t notice there was a stranger in the group.
Trump is just dumping shit off on Marco, who doesn’t even have enough of a backbone to say stop. But I hope he learns how to say stop by the time Trump gives him a fifth job…
Shedeur Sanders, who played quarterback for the University of Colorado, and his father, Deion Sanders, who is the head coach, was predicted by draft experts to be selected in the first round. Many saw him going to the Saints, who had the ninth pick, and who need not just a quarterback to build the franchise around, but also immediately. The concern for Saints fans, which I’m one of, was that he wouldn’t still be around at number nine.
On Thursday night, the Saints were on the board just as I was in line to get on my plane in Chicago. I was able to see who the Saints selected before my plane took off, and it was Kelvin Banks, an offensive tackle from the University of Texas. It will be his job in the near future to protect the Saints quarterback, who will NOT be Shedeur Sanders.
Then Sanders started falling and was even available to the Saints when their next pick came up, number 40 in the second round. And they did select a quarterback in the second…who was NOT Shedeur Sanders. They selected Tyler Shough from Louisville. The Saints selected four more players before Shedeur was taken in the fifth round by the Cleveland Browns.
During Shedeur’s free fall to the fifth round before the Browns ended his suffering, he got a phone call. He received a call during the second round from someone claiming to be Mickey Loomis, the general manager of the Saints, who said he was about to draft him.
Shedeur later said he knew it was a prank because no one is supposed to have his number, but he didn’t know. You see in the video that he’s clearly distressed from it while having a draft party with his friends and family. So, how did the prankster get the number? (snip-MORE)
If they weren’t so pathetic, you might could possibly be sad for some MAGAts. Take Juanita Broaddrick as an example, whose entire national profile is built upon debunked claims she was raped by Bill Clinton in the 1970s and who is now a full-fledged lying MAGAt.
After Canada’s Conservative Party Leader Pierre Poilievre distanced himself from Donald Trump, Broaddrick claimed he would lose the election because Canada loved Trump so much, which didn’t make any sense.
If Canadians loved Trump so much, then why did they just elect Liberal Mark Carney to become their new Prime Minister? That’s like denying Trump’s current favorability numbers. They suck.
There’s also the fact that Trump lost this election for the Conservatives. The Conservatives were ahead by double digits when Trump entered office last January, then he started barking at Canada, waged a tariff war, and repeatedly insulted them by claiming they should be America’s 51st state.
If Donald Trump had kept his mouth shut and had waited at least 100 days for his stupid tariff war, Poilievre would be Prime Minister today.
Yesterday, thanks to Donald Trump, Canadian Liberals won. Trump is now internationally toxic. Everything Trump touches…dies. Super Bowl champion running back Sequon Barkley played golf with Trump a few days ago, and now I expect his knees to give out during the preseason. Trump is poison. I would tell you to ask Elon, but he hasn’t figured it out yet.
Pierre didn’t just lose his race for Prime Minister, he also lost his seat in parliament. (snip-MORE)
A four-year old cancer patient deported by Ann Telnaes
The boy and his sister, both U.S. citizens, were deported to Honduras with their undocumented mother Read on Substack
On Tuesday, the Department of Health and Human Services and the Food and Drug Administration announced a series of measures to phase out eight artificial food dyes and colorings from America’s food supply by the end of next year. Get ready for boring Cheetos.
RFK Jr, the nation’s laughingstock of a Health Secretary, said, to a crowd of “Make America Health Again” supporters (that’s a thing?), “I just want to urge all of you, it’s not the time to stop; it’s the time to redouble your efforts, because we have them on the run now, and we are going to win this battle.” Who do we have on the run? Food colorers? The Easter Bunny? He also said, “And four years from now, we’re going to have most of these products off the market, or you will know about them when you go to the grocery store.”
Are they sure that brain worm is dead?
FDA Commissioner Dr. Marty Makary said the agencies are looking to revoke authorization for two synthetic food colorings and to work with the food industry to eliminate six remaining synthetic dyes used in cereal, ice cream, snacks, yogurts, and more. They’re going to fuck up ice cream.
He said, “Today, the FDA is taking action to remove petroleum-based food dyes from the U.S. food supply and medications. For the last 50 years, American children have increasingly been living in a toxic soup of synthetic chemicals.”
Now get this. These bans will be voluntary with the food companies. RFK Jr. said, “We don’t have an agreement; we have an understanding.” Good luck with that, Mr. Wormy Bear Killer.
The food companies would like an agreement, and that is for there to be one federal regulation on food dyes, and regulations from every state. Remember state rights? That will be the case for abortions but not for the color in Cheetos. (Snip-MORE + Chicago trip stuff)
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The three branches of government, 2025 by Ann Telnaes
At 1 a.m. today, the Supreme Court paused the deportation of immigrants who are subject Donald Trump’s abuse of the Alien Enemies Act (a measure that’s only supposed to be used during an invasion or times of war), just as the Trump regime was on the verge of flying a group of Venezuelans from Texas to El Salvador to rot in that nation’s hellhole of a prison.
Breaking news at 1 a.m. is usually about an explosion, an invasion, a tsunami, a tweet from Trump containing an incomprehensible new word, but rarely a Supreme Court ruling.
SCOTUS had previously told the regime that it’d be OK if they used the illegal Alien Enemies Act, just so long as each immigrant (and maybe US citizen) received due process first. The regime apparently ignored that last part about due process and was about to go all-skippy with deporting more Venezuelans.
The court ordered the Trump administration to respond to the emergency appeal once a federal appeals court in Louisiana takes action in the case. The court said, “The government is directed not to remove any member of the putative class of detainees from the United States until further order of this court.” That means the regime will probably go ahead and do it.
SCOTUS did not explain the ruling, maybe because it was 1 a.m. and a rumor started that Denny’s was about to close, and Sotomayor is a real grouch if she doesn’t get her Moons Over My Hammy.
But we probably don’t need an explanation for why the only two dissenters were (be ready to be surprised) Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito (OK, that wasn’t surprising).
Why would those two oppose delaying the deportation of immigrants without due process and support the regime violating the last order from SCOTUS? There are several possible reasons, and I’m sure none of them are good.
The first reason could, they’re fascist goons.
The second one could be that they just don’t give a shit about the Constitution and know this is the side they’re supposed to be on.
The third reason could be that they don’t care what the issue is and all they need is to be pointed in the direction Trump’s going, and they will follow.
The fourth reason could be that it’s booty night, Clarence doesn’t want to upset Ginny Thomas, and Samuel is hoping Mrs. Alito will help raise his flag.
The fifth reason could be that they’re both corrupt and were bought off to vote this way.
Even Trump’s justices, Neil Gorsuch, Brett Kavanaugh, and Amy Coney Barrett, voted for this delay.
These guys would deport Jesus, especially since he’s not a blue-eyed blonde like White Christians make him out to be.
This part of the blog is short because I want to clean my apartment before I fly to Chicago on Monday. I like coming home to a clean apartment.
I have a beef, and it’s not the Italian beef sandwich I’m planning to try in Chicago: I may be starting a fight I don’t want to fight, but dammit. Somebody has to.
A caption contest is where a cartoonist draws a cartoon, but doesn’t finish writing it. He creates an image and leaves a blank speech bubble/balloon. He then invites the readers to fill in the bubble and makes a contest out of it. It’s fun for the readers, gets them to engage with the cartoonist and the publication, and brings more hits and views to the publication’s website. I always felt it was a cheap way to make readers come back to look at other same page, and I openly admitted that when I did a caption contest for The Free Lance-Star. I hated the caption contest, but knew my readers loved it and my editors liked the views. I don’t see anything wrong ethically with the caption contest because I don’t see it as political cartooning. I saw it as a newspaper feature similar to the crossword puzzle, the jumble, or today’s Wordle. I’ll occasionally bump into a reader who’ll bring up the caption contest…that I hated.
My friend Walt Handelsman is doing a caption contest, and he does it well.
I saw something similar last night that’s kinda similar to the caption contest, but it’s entirely unethical, diminishes political cartooning, lazy, and is screwing readers over.
This is what I saw, and it’s by Daryl Cagle, who operates the largest syndication company for political cartoons.
If this were just a game for his website, I’d think nothing of it, but it’s not a game.
Daryl is shopping for his reader to write his ideas, and then he plans to sell them. If he does manage to sell them, they won’t be next to a crossword puzzle, but on the opinion page. It’s not like editors will care if they suck, and they will. And if he sells them, he’s not sharing the money with the person who wrote the idea. They’ll just get an “attribution.”
Remember my blog about why I don’t use cartoon ideas I didn’t write? The reason boils down to ethics, which Daryl doesn’t have. Even though I might be the goofiest guy in this industry, I take this industry seriously. I care about my work. Obviously, Daryl doesn’t care about his. He once drew two versions of a cartoon, one version from the Right and the other from the Left. It was a total hack job. He doesn’t care.
I commented on Daryl’s Facebook page, telling him to write his own cartoons. He replied, “According to the Pulitzer people, we’re all just illustrators now, Clay.” That’s pretty much true as the Pulitzers have taken away the contest category for political cartoons and combined it with “illustrated reporting” or some shit like that, but I wasn’t going to let Daryl use it as an excuse.
I replied to Dayl’s reply, saying, “Then why are you helping the Pulitzers diminish us? You already used the anonymous cartoonist to tell editors and publishers that we’re not journalists. Most political cartoonists have too much integrity to take ideas submitted by readers, and here you are shopping for them. Do you not care about your work? If you don’t want to be a political cartoonist, then get out of the political cartoon business. And then on top of all that, you’re not going to pay the person who writes the cartoon you’re going to sell.”
Daryl previously syndicated an anonymous cartoonist who signed his work as Rivers. Rivers is a lying racist idiot MAGAt in Canada (that was a secret too). By syndicating Rivers, Daryl was telling editors and publishers that political cartoons didn’t have to abide by their ethics policies, thus cartoonists aren’t journalists anymore. That’s a weird position for a cartoonist to take. Even letters to the editor must be signed. When asked to justify this a couple of years ago, Daryl replied to me, “I don’t see a problem with this,” which wasn’t answering the question.
I first met Daryl in 1997 when I was in Hawaii. He flew out and bought me a burrito. I liked him. He’s a nice guy personally, and I thought at the time with his website, that he was a huge advocate for our entire industry, but over the years, he started doing shit like this, shit I can’t remain silent about. Other cartoonists have told me to shut up and not make noise, but you know I’m not good at that. I’m a noisy motherfucker. I rock a Gibson. And then others send me private messages encouraging me on, but won’t add their voices to my one-man protest. Those cartoonists are smarter than I am.
I would rather support other cartoonists than criticize them. I try to make any criticism about the message in it, like if it’s lying or racist, never just because I think it sucks. I don’t want to go after Daryl, but here I am.
Daryl could come after all my clients and try to chase me out of the business, but there’s no sign he’s ever tried that, though I have lost newspapers to his syndicate, which sells dozens of cartoons in one package for a flat fee. It’s hard to compete against that. Once, every cartoonist could submit to USA Today, but then Daryl made a deal with Gannett that shut out every cartoonist from their entire chain except for his cartoonists. Now, Gannett doesn’t publish political cartoons at all.
But he can’t come after my Substack. To all you paid subscribers, this is one of the things you’re helping me fight, and you’re giving me more freedom to speak out. So I thank you again.
I’m going to open the comments today to be fair, to give Daryl a chance to respond to this. I don’t think he will, but I’m trying to be fair.
I’m not going to fight a war or carry a torch for this. I’m going to move on and focus on my work, but somebody had to say something. I’ll end this with one more message to Daryl: Write your own fucking cartoons.
Creative note: I already did one Easter cartoon, which has a higher chance of being published than this one. I wanted to do something like this cartoon just to rouse up the conservatives on Easter Sunday. It’s so much better than the he-has-risen bullshit from the fake Christians like Gary Varvel.
(As a person who mostly does smile, but is occasionally still told to do so, I appreciate this comic. Meanwhile, as to the bagel, see the first comment just now; or HuckleberryHiroshima’s comment.)
Elon Musk got into a little tiffy-tiff with Peter Navarro, and I have to say, I like seeing these guys destroy each other.
You can’t choose a side between Elon and Navarro. You can only hope both lose. It’s like trying to choose a side during the war between Iraq and Iran (the US picked Iraq), or when the Dallas Cowboys play the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, or when the Atlanta Braves plays of the two baseball teams in Florida, or a fight between the insurance emu or Flo from Progressive, or Ice T in Carshield commercials vs gutter filter commercials, or a contest between Nickelback and the Kars4Kids song, or a battle between ketchup on hotdogs and Domino’s Pizza.
Side note: I just Googled to make sure it is Ice T in those stupid Carshield commercials, and just because I’m trying to be accurate and informative to serve you, I’m going to get thousand of Carshield ads in all my shit now. You’re welcome.
If you see two fucknuts in MAGA caps in a slap fight, you don’t choose a side, and for the love of god, you don’t break it up. You should get some popcorn and encourage each fighter. “Kick him in the nuts! Yeah, that’s how you do it. Hey, other guy. Are you going to let him get away with kicking you in the nuts like that?”
In case you don’t remember, Peter Navarro is a lying sack of turds. He was the director of the National Trade Council in the first Trump administration (sic), then director of the Office of Trade and Manufacturing Policy. Now, in Trump 2.0 (sic), he’s senior counselor for Trade and Manufacturing. He’s also the first official from Trump’s White House (sic) to serve time in prison for trying to steal the 2020 election. Now, there are at least two felons in the White House.
This week, Navarro “guaranteed” the Trump tariff war will not bring a recession, just like he guaranteed there wouldn’t be a pandemic from COVID-19. Instead of investing in stocks, I’d rather place wagers on Peter Navarro being wrong about things.
But what’s going on between him and Elon?
Last Saturday, a poster on Twitter/X defended Navarro’s intellect as a voice on trade. This is like when a MAGAt tries to tell us that Trump knows what he’s doing. Navarro is a big part of Trump’s trade policies. Musk replied that Navarro’s Harvard Ph.D. suggested he had more ego than brains and that he “ain’t built shit.”
Musk has criticized Trump’s tariff war, and the two-day stock market crash, before coming back and crashing again, cost Elon at least $18 billion in Tesla stock. It’s kinda difficult to tell someone the tariffs are working when that someone just lost $18 billion because of the tariffs.
Then, Elon addressed an Italian political party (think of Nazis with risotto) by video and said, “Both Europe and the United States should move, ideally, in my view, to a zero-tariff situation, effectively creating a free trade zone between Europe and North America.” That goes against Trump’s stance (for now), whose trade policy is wildly going in the opposite direction.
Navarro, who has been defending Trump’s tariffs, has said Trump’s tariffs will bring in over $600 billion in new annual revenue. That can’t be true at all because Trump is calling on other nations to negotiate, so these tariffs will eventually be reduced, either by negotiations or Trump chickening out because his balls dropped off again. If that is Trump’s intention (not his balls dropping off but reducing the tariffs), then we won’t be getting new revenue every year of $600 billion. But, if we do get $600 billion revenue from these Trump tariffs, it will be from American consumers. Navarro should be capable of understanding this because he has a PhD in economics from Harvard.
Navarro has written a dozen books which most economists call bullshit. Despite Navarro’s PhD from Harvard in economics, he believes a trade war with higher tariffs will allow us to cut more taxes. I don’t have a PhD in economics from Harvard, but I still know that tariffs are taxes on American consumers. Duh.
Navarro and Musk don’t agree on trade. So, after an insult from Elon, Navarro sent one back, saying Elon wasn’t a car manufacturer, just an assembler of parts. Uh oh.
Elon responded to the video (which we don’t need to watch), saying, “Navarro is truly a moron.” He also said Navarro is “dumber than a sack of bricks.”
And then Elon tweeted about 20 more times to defend himself and his shitty cars.
Elon is right about this. Peter Navarro is a moron who is dumber than a sack of bricks, but Elon is a moron, too. Elon is a lying Nazi-supporting moron.
But Elon got the better of this since he told Navarro to consult with economist Ron Vara. Who? Ron Vara is an economist Navarro has quoted in several of his stupid books. The only thing wrong with that is Ron Vara doesn’t exist. It’s an anagram of “Navarro.” Peter Navarro has to quote a fictional economist because he can’t find a real economist who shares his dumbasseconomic beliefs, probably because they’re fucking insane. Navarro is that one guy in the office who’ll advise that today’s lunch should be from Blimpies (I just finished 30 Rock).
Even Elon’s brother, Kimbal, said, “Who would have thought that Trump was actually the most high tax American President in generations?” He also said, “Through his tariff strategy, Trump has implemented a structural, permanent tax on the American consumer.”
This is like Rob Gronkowski knowing FTX cryptocurrency wasn’t real money before Tom Brady lost $30 million in it.
White House spokesgoon Karoline Leavitt was asked about the sparring between Elon and Navarro, and she explained it with, “Boys will be boys, and we will let their public sparring continue.”
Oh, yeah. Leavitt is also a moron.
Maybe Trump is getting all of his trade advice from Gronk.
By the way, this is what inspired this cartoon.
Creative note: I have five ideas in my folder to choose from for the next few days. I felt this would be the best for today. This cartoon was so quick to draw that the files of it that I sent to my clients may be the smallest I’ve ever sent. The files with crowd scenes and lots of Easter eggs are huge.
Music note: I listened to Queens of the Stone Age.
