Why should I be charitable to people that hurt me?

This video means a lot to me. It explains how I felt and changed. People ask how I could care for my adopting parents and abusers at the end of their lives with all they had done to and caused to be done to me. As he says, I did not want to be them, I did not want to be like them, I did not want to replace them with myself. I am not a religious person, and I have seen no sign of higher beings, but I agree it wouldn’t be bad to be like the Jesus he talks about and the way he treated others. The question I never answered is did I forgive them? Hugs

I am struggling

Hi. I am torn up right now with memories. I am not sure what to do. I wrote one of them to Jill telling her some of my abuse because she has told me it is ok to do that. Still it bothered me. My mind won’t release. I am having one of those times that the vortex of dark despair is hovering me right outside me. I am trying to distract my self. Damn it! I am 61 now, my last rapes happened in my early 20s. I am safe. I am happy. I have a wonderful husband who is even now making ravioli baked in the red sauce I made. Yet the memories come over me in waves. I want to forget, I want to not feel it like I did when it happened. But … but … Oh hell, I am going to do comments to help my mind settle. But today my emotions are raw and I have memories that hurt. At what point in my life do they go away? Really I am 61. I am safe, it is water under the bridge. Yet …. OK hug. Scottie