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From SBTB, some NSFW language within. Like, I don’t even know what having a dump-truck tushie means. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“Heated Rivalry: The Unbearable Lightness of Having a Dump-Truck Ass“

by Candy

So right now I have a number of non-romance community friends coming up to me and saying stuff like:

“Oh hey sounds like some hockey fic finally made it onto TV, huh?”

“Yo Candy have you heard of the gay hockey romance TV show?”

“How excited are you about the gay hockey smut on TV?”

“Candy why is your entire Tumblr dashboard filled with naked asses?”

To which I say: excuse me, these are not just “naked asses.”

These are triple-platinum certified, AAA grade dumptrucks. Can dumptruck butts even be certified platinum, Sisqo hit notwithstanding?

Fuck you, they can now. These asses can do anything. These asses can fly you to the fucking moon. These asses were sculpted by the hand of God, after which God cut their own hand off because it had achieved perfection, so why sculpt anything else ever. Connor Storrie’s ass in particular is a mesmerizingly perfect hemisphere. He could never sneak into an enemy base because he is dummy thicc and the thunderclap of those asscheeks would absolutely alert the guards for miles around. Do you understand what I’m saying?

A | BN | K | ABBut the thing is, you need to watch the show — I can’t believe I’m saying this after what I’ve just said above — not for the asses, but because the actors are a delight to watch. It’s not that they’re beautiful, or at least, not only because of that.

It’s because they inhabit their characters to a degree that is frankly eerie.

Like: the way Connor Storrie holds his body as Ilya Rozanov in every scene. Man doesn’t stand like an American, though he very much is. (Storrie is a Texan. A Texan.) And what does “doesn’t stand like an American” even mean? Look, I can’t fuckin’ explain it, OK, but white American dudes tend to hold themselves A Way, and he doesn’t do it. It’s like porn (which this show delivers on, by the way). I just know it when I see it.

That’s not even going into Storrie’s near-impeccable Russian (which he apparently acquired over three weeks), or the things he’s able to do with his eyes, or the curl of an upper lip, or a flick of his eyebrow.

What, you think there wouldn’t be gifs? Come on now.

And then there’s Hudson Williams as Shane Hollander. Shane, the lawful good muppet to Ilya’s chaos gremlin freak. Williams nails every microexpression, especially in the scenes in which he’s texting Ilya: vulnerability, frustration, reluctant amusement, endearment—they all flicker across his face. He’s stiff and awkward, which you might initially mistake for bad acting, except no, that’s Shane: Shane is an awkward motherfucker! Shane Hollander has zero grace until you strap skates on him, or until he’s confronted by Ilya Rozanov’s dick.

Sure, sure, my friends say. Watch it for the acting. That’s what you say. That’s not what you’re reblogging on Tumblr, you thirsty bitch.

I mean, yeah. I’m mostly posting gifsets of dumptruck butts because I need everyone I know to watch this show, and while I honestly find this image of Ilya giving Shane the once-over when they first meet theee actual hottest thing, who the fuck cares about that who hasn’t seen the show already?

It’s pretty hot

That’s not going to grab people’s attention. Oh, look at this attractive white dude giving someone the ole bedroom eyes. Boh-ring. NEXT.

Ilya Rozanov, naked and glistening with water, jorkin’ it in the locker room showers while maintaining hideously uncomfortable eye contact with Shane? That’s an attention-grabber. And I’ve sold three different people into watching this show because of it.

Speaking for all of us…

So anyway, I’ve had to talk to several friends about this show, and about why I, a person who has worked hard all their life to achieve the perfect body (potato-shaped) care about sports romance, and I’ve come up with this Heated Rivalry explainer of sorts. Maybe you’ll find this helpful as you navigate conversations with other people in your life who are like, hey, I hear you like smut! What do you think of that smutty hockey show? Or, like, if you haven’t checked out either the book or the show, and somehow have avoided learning anything about either of them, maybe this will finally push you over the edge? In fact, I hope it does. Consider this me kicking you down a well lined with bare chests and fake team logos of dubious quality and screaming This! Is! Heated Rivalry!

What the hell is Heated Rivalry?

It’s not a fic, it’s a hockey romance novel by Rachel Reid. The two main characters are Ilya Rozanov, Russian hockey wunderkind, and Shane Hollander, Canadian hockey wunderkind. (And yeah, Shane bears a physical resemblance to Sid Crosby, and Ilya being Russian and playing for a rival team immediately raises the spectre of Alexander Ovechkin, but as far as I know, this isn’t scrubbed Sid/Ovi fic, even if, uh, the inspiration seems pretty clear.)

Shane and Ilya meet rookie year, find each other infuriating yet irresistible, rapidly hook up, and then continue to hook up over many, many years, only to slowly, excruciatingly, fall in love. It’s somehow both slow-burn and bangs immediately. You know U-Haul lesbians? These guys are the exact opposite. (Move-away gays? I’ll have to workshop that more.)

Anyway. The book is mostly sex scenes by volume, and not a single one is repetitive or wasted, because it’s how the character and relationship development happen.

It’s now a TV show, adapted by Jacob Tierney. That’s the same guy who brought you Letterkenny and Shoresy, neither of which I’ve watched, but which I’ve been aware of for years now because people whose tastes I trust have watched them and loved them and told me I should watch them. Sorry, guys, it took the power of gay hockey idiots to drag me into the Tierney-verse. I’m here now, and I love it!

The thing you need to know about this show is: it leans in. It fully commits to the bit. Look, I know I keep talking about how this show is worth watching above and beyond the sex and the beefcake, but the fact of the matter is, you can’t extricate the show from the sex and the beefcake, because it’s a show. About hockey players. Who fall in love because they fuck. A lot. Over many years. So yes, I’m going to talk about the sex.

OK! (snip-I can’t copy-paste their whole post; go read it, it’s great!)

Maybe Some New Reads for the New Year

The Best Queer Books of 2024, According to All the Lists

Here are the queer books mentioned on the most Best Books of 2024 lists, from graphic novels to literary fiction, romance, fantasy, and more.

Danika Ellis Dec 31, 2024

During the “Best Books of the Year” season, I’ve been going through and picking out which queer books get featured on the biggest lists. My plan was to mash all this information together into a Frankensteined spreadsheet and then share with you the queer books included on the most “best of” lists. Luckily, I was saved a step, because LitHub already made an Ultimate Best Books of 2024 List that includes best-of lists from 39 outlets. I just went through that and pulled out the queer books.

I am limited to the books I recognize, so please let me know if I missed any! As far as I could tell, though, here are the nine queer books mentioned on the most Best Books of 2024 lists, from horror graphic novels to literary fiction to historical sports romance to poetry, biography, fantasy, and more.

If you’ve been paying attention to the best of lists at all, I bet you can guess which titles are tied at #1. Regardless, this makes for a great reading list if you want to catch up on the best queer books that came out in 2024 that you may have missed!

#5 (Tied), Mentioned on Five Lists

My Favorite Thing Is Monsters, Book 2 by Emil Ferris

We finally have the sequel to this celebrated graphic novel, and it was worth the wait. Intricately etched with full, exciting pages and a bold story, it picks up where the last left off: Karen, a young monster, is investigating her neighbor’s murder in the Uptown apartment where she’s grown up. But the secrets she’s discovered aren’t the ones she was looking for, and in this book, she’ll have to fight hard to avoid coming apart at the seams. This bold coming-of-age tale about queerness, difference, family, and the city of Chicago is impactful, emotional, and bold, and I was both overjoyed and very sad to see the story of Karen Reyes come to its conclusion. —Leah Rachel von Essen

Greta & Valdin by Rebecca K Reilly

This award-winning book follows siblings Greta and Valdin as they contend with an eccentric, multiracial family, queerness, and just trying to figure it all out. Valdin is doing superficially well after having been dumped by his boyfriend a year ago—his colleagues are only occasionally weird about his Maaori heritage, and he has intermittent sad sex with a friend—when work sends him from New Zealand to Argentina, where his ex is. Meanwhile, Greta has her own bubbling sadness. She’s experiencing unrequited pining, and her family is in a state made even more perplexing by her brother’s sudden, secretive move to South America. —Erica Ezeifedi

You Should Be So Lucky by Cat Sebastian

In this M/M historical baseball romance, Mark is a reporter in the 1960s who’s stuck interviewing the obnoxious New York shortstop for his whole first season. Eddie is having a tough enough time on the team, so he’s also reluctant, but neither of them is exactly given a choice. Mark is still mourning the death of his partner, the one no one knew about. He’s vowed never to have a secret relationship again—but now Mark and Eddie are falling for each other…

#4, Mentioned on Six Lists

Survival Is a Promise: The Eternal Life of Audre Lorde by Alexis Pauline Gumbs

If you’re looking for a dry, birth-to-death, “here’s an accounting of the events of this person’s life” biography, this book is not for you. If you’re looking for a biographical poem, a multilayered close read of Audre Lorde’s poetry, a book that centers her relationships, an exploration of the ongoing legacy of her liberation work, an ode to complexity and nuance—then you’re going to want to run to this astounding, prismatic work of nonfiction. —Laura Sackton

#3 (Tied), Mentioned on Seven Lists

Bluff: Poems by Danez Smith

Danez Smith is a must-read poet who has been recommended in countless Book Riot lists. This is their newest, and I’ll let the publisher’s description summarize it: “Bluff is a kind of manifesto about artistic resilience, even when time and will can seem fleeting, when the places we most love—those given and made—are burning. In this soaring collection, Smith turns to honesty, hope, rage, and imagination to envision futures that seem possible.”

The Bright Sword by Lev Grossman

Like a lot of fantasy lovers, I’ve read my fair share of King Arthur-related novels. So many of them take themselves very seriously, portraying these majestic and austere knights as the fierce protectors of the land. But Grossman’s version of Camelot is different. It’s funny, delightfully ridiculous in so many ways. Like his take on magical schools in the magicians, The Bright Sword pokes fun at stories of Arthurian legend as much as it also celebrates it. But we, the readers, are in on the joke, understanding that this story is in conversation with the many previous tales of King Arthur and his knights.

If you’re looking for a humorous yet simultaneously heartfelt, funny, and queer-inclusive story from the world of Camelot, The Bright Sword may be the pick for you. —Kendra Winchester

#2, Mentioned on 11 Lists

Our Evenings by Alan Hollinghurst

Alan Hollinghurst is the Booker Prize-winning author of The Line of Beauty, The Swimming-Pool Library, and many other acclaimed novels. Our Evenings is about Dave, a mixed-race queer child who receives a scholarship to a prestigious boarding school and experiences the opportunities and cruelties of this turn of fate. We follow him from the 1960s through his coming of age, including first love affairs, a career on stage, and a late-in-life marriage.

#1 (Tied), Mentioned on 21 Lists

Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar

It’s always nice when one of the biggest literary fiction titles of the year is queer. This is a bestseller that comes highly recommended by authors like Tommy Orange, Lauren Groff, John Green, Clint Smith, and more. It follows Cyrus, a twentysomething queer poet who has been numbing his pain with drugs and alcohol. His mother was killed when her plane was shot down over Tehran in a senseless act of violence by the U.S. military. His father recently died of a heart attack. As he becomes sober, Cyrus goes looking for meaning, and he finds it by researching martyrs. When he hears about an artist dying of cancer in an exhibition at a museum, he is determined to meet her.

All Fours by Miranda July

In The New York Times Notable list, they categorize this literary fiction title with a bisexual main character as “Sexy Perimenopause Fiction” and recommend it for fans of Big Swiss by Jen Beagin. The top 10 list describes it as “the talk of every group text — at least every group text composed of women over 40” and “the first great perimenopause novel.”

JKR is back with yet another trans complaint, but I saw this to post instead-

Positive news, instead of the other. If you click through to read, roam around a little. There are some other interesting bits to read.

KAOS Star Misia Butler Says Elliot Page Is His “Biggest Queer Role Model”

Butler plays the romantic lead in a new Netflix show that retells Greek mythology stories with a modern twist.

By Quispe López August 30, 2024

Misia Butler never thought that, as a tranmasc person, he would be cast as a romantic lead. And yet that’s exactly what happened. In an as-told-to essay for Yahoo U.K. for Queer Voices, Butler opened up about playing Caeneus in Netflix’s new show KAOS, which retells stories from Greek mythology with a modern twist. Among other topics, the young actor touched on the inherent queerness of Greek mythology and his biggest role model: Elliot Page.

Butler wrote in the essay that Page, the original transmasculine heartthrob, has been an important inspiration for breaking down boundaries for trans people in film. From his early roles in Juno and Whip It to his latest work on Netflix’s The Umbrella Academy, Butler says Page has in many ways paved the way for trans actors like him to continue shattering onscreen stereotypes.

“Elliot Page is probably my biggest queer role model, him coming out was such a moving thing for me because I’ve always felt this draw to him ever since I was a kid,” Butler recalled. “When The Umbrella Academy came out I was bingeing that, so when he came out as trans that felt like an almost earth shattering moment.”

But when Butler was growing up, before there was fuller representation for transmasculine people in television and film, he said he felt resigned to never being cast as a romantic lead. Because he hadn’t seen any transmasculine people play characters who were romantically sought after, he didn’t think it would be possible for him.

“For a long time I never asked anyone out, I never talked to people I was attracted to, because I thought, ‘Well, they’re never gonna view me that way because why would they? I don’t exist in that sphere,’” the actor wrote. “So I really hope that seeing Caeneus in that light helps other people.”

Through his romance with Riddy (played by Aurora Perrineau), Caeneus will become the primary romantic interest in the show. The actor described how his character Caeneus will explore his transness with subtlety, as his identity is organically embedded in the plot. Butler noted that Greek myths are already so queer, making KAOS the perfect setting for this kind of nuanced storytelling.

“The Greek myths are such a queer group of stories, so KAOS’s approach to inclusivity is amazing and the fact that it’s so understated is a real power,” he wrote. “I think it just naturally brings in the diversity of us as humans and, especially as a Greek myths nerd myself, I love how it brings out the diversity of the original myths in such a natural way.”

Butler’s work on KAOS will only expand the ever-growing canon of transmasculine representation on screen (Queer Percy Jackson and the Olympians fans, rejoice!), this time with some romance and flair that only a Greek mythological backdrop can bring. For those of you who are scrambling to add the series to your watch list, it’s currently available to stream on Netflix.

https://www.them.us/story/misia-butler-elliot-page-netflix-kaos-role-model