Published by Scotties Playtime
I am an older gay guy in a long-term wonderful relationship. My spouse and I are in our 33rd year together. I love politics and news. I enjoy civil discussions and have no taboo subjects. My pronouns are he / him / his and my email is scottiesplaytime@gmail.com
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More and more I’m coming to hate this country. Hugs
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Hello Jill. I am not so much at hate as I am at the level of fear. As I just told Nan I lived through the 1970s hate mongering against gays as a gay teenager who knew I was different, knew I was not the monster talked about everywhere, never read a book in the school library with a gay character or seen a movie with a positive or fun gay character, was terrified of being outed, worried about being attacked by the roving gang of thugs looking to bash faggots in the hallways because the teachers wouldn’t help or stop it. I don’t want kids today to live through that and they shouldn’t have to. But that is what the rabid maga fundamentalist religious right is doing in red states. They are removing women’s rights to return to a time when education and job prospects for women were limited, and a woman needed a man in her life if she wanted a decent standard of living. All of this you already know. But Jill I don’t understand why? I can understand the older white men afraid of losing the time when they were automatically thought to be in charge and powerful. And the younger incel’s who are too stupid to realize that you have to appeal to a date not own them. But what do the rest of these misfits and maga’s get out of returning the country to the 1950s or 1910s. Yes the racists get to wipe out equality / civil rights era. But that doesn’t improve any white persons life to make more black people miserable? I guess I don’t see the alure of returning to an oppressive regressive past instead of an inclusive diverse future. Hugs
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Perhaps ‘hate’ was the wrong word, uttered out of frustration and anger. Perhaps ‘disappointment’ would be a better word. ‘Hopelessness’.
You ask a very big “WHY” question, my friend, and one to which I have no answer. The only conclusions I have been able to draw are that humans are deeply flawed, that greed and arrogance are built into the human DNA and will not allow them to believe that somebody else might be their equal. But that can’t be it, for there are some of us who are not like that, who treat everyone we meet with the same level of respect, who do not critique people on their skin colour, religion, gender, or gender identity. Are we, then, the freaks? We certainly seem to be in the minority! I never went through what you did when I was a teen, but throughout my youth I was treated differently because a) I was that “Jew girl”, or b) the kid with the Coke-bottle glasses, or c) the kid that has braces on her legs, or d) the retarded girl.
In short, I don’t know the answer to “why”, my friend, but I know that it isn’t just in our country, and that it isn’t a recent thing but has been around since, I think, the beginning of time. I know that I have lost hope that humans will someday learn to live in peace and harmony with each other. Sigh. Hugs
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I so agree with you, Jill, in that nearly ALL of us go through some kind of pain during our growing up years. Kids can be so cruel … and it makes you wonder where it comes from. The natural answer is via the (bigoted, angry, prejudiced) parents, but don’t you think that many times it could also be peer pressure? What is especially unfortunate is so many never grow out of this selective cruelness.
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Indeed, peer pressure IS a part of it, as is a child’s parentage. I also believe that religious exposure is a large part of it. If you look at materials presented in Sunday school classes, all the little kids and Jesus are lily-white, the girls are wearing dresses and the boys are wearing pants. The churches present a stereotype that sticks in young minds and solidifies as they grow older, then they pass their prejudices on to the next generation in the same manner.
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Hello Jill. Sorry, you were also bullied. What hurts is that the attempts of combating bulling are now not allowed in Florida and other red states. It is infuriating that so many decades of progress in getting kids to treat each other with respect and kindness are being thrown away because some parents insist their kids get to act like thugs, like mini Taliban morality enforcers. It is not enough for these parents to be allowed to tell their children other kids are evil / bad / monsters, but they insist their kids must be allowed to publicly torment and attack those kids based on their parent’s bigotry.
Jill I thank you for your response. I admit I am not in a good place as I see everything I love and my very own existence attacked in ways I thought long gone. There is good news, I got a call from the new heart doctor’s office and I have an appointment for late May. Better than the old heart doctor’s office I had, who simply refused to even give me an appointment because they were too busy for the next 6 months.
I know you went through a very bad health crisis due to your heart. I worried so much about you then. I am better now than when it first went bad for me, I am not having the shortness of breath so much, and I can walk around now. I can do stuff and my heart rates are stable in the 120’s. But it angers me that in the land that has a 900 billion dollar a year military funding and is called the wealthiest nation on earth that when I was forced into my bed with heart rates in the 150s and heart pauses so bad I struggled to breathe I couldn’t even get an appointment with my old heart doctors despite my primary care calling them repeatedly. While the elected officials in my state and the republicans nationwide take steps to save us from the threat of kids being read stories by men in dress up, while those elected officials struggle to stop our kids from learning history or hearing anything not heterosexual, I couldn’t get healthcare to keep me walking, breathing, or even being able to sit at my desk!
I guess what I am saying is for a long while recently I did not want the fight anymore. I felt too tired and overwhelmed. Even though Ron and James kept asking me to let them set up a computer station I could use while in bed, they missed the point. But I think I feel better, but Jill the fight seems bigger now than I can handle? The other side has all the assets, all the power, all the money. I once drove through East Germany at dark driving a van full of visiting brass while under live fire. I drove that van sliding into check point Charley bouncing off the barricades. It did not phase me as much as the situation in Florida right now.
Anyway did not mean to unload on you this way, you do not deserve to shoulder my burdens also. But I am not going to delete it, I have done too much of that lately. Thanks for being the person you are Jill. Our world needs you and the family you have raised inspired with your belief in people. Hugs
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Thanks, Scottie, but no need to be sorry, for out of the early lessons of life (those named here and others I haven’t mentioned), came a strong will, a fighting spirit that has served me well throughout my life. Without it, I would not have survived.
I’m glad to hear you’ll be seeing a new cardiologist! I hear you on the delays … my own cardiologist has a long waiting list, and last time I cancelled an appointment (out of sheer stubborness) I wasn’t able to get another for several months, and my next one is also in early May. I’m still having some serious problems and my body is telling me that it’s about ready to give up the fight, but you know how stubborn I am!!!
I definitely understand your angst, my dear friend. There is so much that is wrong these days, it’s natural for us to wonder if it’s even worth carrying on. And for you, it is a thousand times worse, simply because you live in Florida. Have you and Ron considered leaving the state? I think I would be in prison if I lived in Florida, for I would have hurt someone by now! Sigh. Hang in, please, my friend, for just as you say the world needs me, I think the world needs you too! You have opened my eyes to so many things, mainly the horrific treatment that the LGBTQ community is subject to throughout the nation, but especially in the South. Love and many big hugs, my friend! ❤
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