Hello everyone. I have put off writing this all day. First I have not felt well and second I wanted to do it without sounding overdramatic. But Ron’s panic when he saw the EKG’s and his insistence that if it ever happens again I must wake him right away, I think a little drama is warranted.
Last night, I had a dream unlike any dream I have had before. Something to keep in mind is that other than my nightmares about my childhood abuse, I have the ability to gain superpowers in my dreams. Even in dreams dealing with my adoptive father lately I have seen my self trying to stand up to him, even if I am unable to get the words out that I want to shout and instead being woken / waking up with Ron trying hard to help me and telling me I am either shouting or making guttural sounds at a large volume.
Last night was different, I had no powers, and in my dream I knew I was about to die. The dream took place in the front yard facing the street in a home we use to own. One of my favorite homes. It was very dark, no moon, and was slightly raining. We also had rain last night. In my dream as I twisted and danced to avoid stepping in a large puddle on our walkway to the street, (I did not have and did not seem to need my ever present canes) a black car pulled up in the street next to me. A woman was in the car and gesturing to me, I could see this because she had the inside car dome light on. As I approached the street she pulled up to the curb in the next door home.
As I walked toward the car she pulled into the driveway of the home. I was not sure what to do so I stood there in the yard. The woman got out of the car and had a large double barrel shot gun and pointed it at me as she walked towards me. I turned to run but tripped and fell on the ground.
As I rolled over she was less than five feet from me with the gun pointed at me. In my mind / dream I knew she was going to shoot me. In the dream I remember thinking she is going to kill me and I cannot do anything to stop her. Then I woke up with my Apple watch buzzing like crazy on my wrist. Unlike Ron or James, I wear my watch all night. The watch was displaying a red alert saying I was in AFIB. I really couldn’t process what the watch said as I did not have my glasses on and I was struggling to breathe.
After a while I calmed down and got my glasses and ran an EKG from my phone. That also came back bad with AFIB. I laid in bed for another 45 minutes cuddling with Ron before doing it again. The reason I did it again was I was again having shortness of breath. It again came back with AFIB. My chest hurt so I got up.
When I did so I woke Ron and that is normal. He asked what was going on and I stupidly said my heart was in AFIB and I stupidly told him the truth, that I was having trouble breathing and my watch was saying I was in AFIB. Ron worked 16 years in the Open Heart ICU and I don’t think I have ever seen him out of bed that quickly. He demanded to see the EKGs, so I gave him my phone. That started a morning of checks, repeat checks, lots of me being told to do this, don’t do that, and being watched like a toddler around open live electrical wires. After I had my coffee and breakfast, my heart rate returned to sinus rhythm. It has stayed that way all day. The breathing problem is much worse at night when I am laying down in bed. Anyway, that is what happened. I was not scared until Ron seemed to be so upset. I never had a dream where I was in danger and couldn’t save myself that was not related to my childhood abuse. This time I knew she was going to shoot me and I was going to die. Weird. Hugs
Scottie's Playtime 
Hugs, Scottie
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Well, that was a dangerous dream all around. Sheesh. Hugs to you, too, Scottie.
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You know, also hugs to Ron. I know you bless him for being such a great husband, and I know that’s reciprocated.
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