Published by Scotties Playtime
I am an older gay guy in a long-term wonderful relationship. My spouse and I are in our 36th year together. I love politics and news. I enjoy civil discussions and have no taboo subjects. My pronouns are he / him / his and my email is Scottiestoybox@gmail.com
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Hi Suze. I agree. I should be ashamed to watch such things. But sometimes my personal life overwhelms me and all I can do is watch videos, and it has to be not really thinking videos as my mind is trying hard to reset from my memories of abuse. I hate it, I wish I could figure out how to stop these periods or the memories from destroying me for days. On the plus side now when they hit so hard it is only days, when I totally broke in 2014 when the memories came back so strong I couldn’t ignore them. I spent nearly two years in my bedroom. I was again self harming like I did in the past, my doctors advised Ron to give me something to keep my mind busy and off it. So in our bedroom Ron not only had my computers, but he set up a candle making setup. He bought pounds of wax and supplies. He worked nights and during the day slept while I made candles and was on the web with my first blog. All day, every day. He would take the candles I made, box them up, and supply me with more stuff I needed. Later when I was able to join the world again, we figured I made more than a couple of thousand candles. And my grand friend Randy, my online brother who worked long night shifts, would call me on and off during the day to make sure I was OK and not harming myself. If I felt I would, I could call him and that long-suffering man would talk to me for hours when he should have been sleeping.
I had a bad period this last holiday season, it is always a bad time for me. I sort of checked out mentally, I couldn’t deal with the blog or comments. But I struggled through it. The memories are there, they always are, but they are controllable with a lot of effort. I am getting back on track, I think.
Suze I tell you all this mostly to explain why I was so late responding to your grand comments. I love comments and I enjoy the interaction with readers. But I left you hanging, and that is not something I normally do. Thank you for the comments you leave, and I look forward to your input and opinions in the future. Hugs. Scottie
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sweetheart…NEVER worry about how long it takes you to respond to anything I write. There is NO time limit for friends. I will listen when you need to vent, talk or cry…just as you have been there for so many others. You are safe here. always.
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Hi Suze. You are grand. As I read your comments, I see how much you have to offer all of us from your life experience. Please feel free to share your thoughts here on my Playtime, and if you like you can send me something you want to have as a post, and I will post it with you as the guest author. I do that for my wonderful friend / brother Randy.
I think the viewers here would love to hear more of what you have to offer. Thanks. Hugs. Scottie
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