An update on Ron’s brother and the dryer.

Hi everyone.  First I want to thank the commenters on my first post about this.  I want to get to your comments next but I had to rush through things this morning not to lose older comments.  Plus the home here has been in a bit of turmoil today.  

First Ron’s brother.   Ron and I both woke early.  I woke at 3:30 and he at 4 am.  We both know that is the time a lot of dying people pass in the hospital.  Ron said it has something to do with the body / heart rhythms at that time at night.  But I wonder.  But no call came.   So after hugging each other for a while we got up.   I am trying to be as supportive and understanding as possible, but Ron has slipped in to professional mode on this.  I guess it is because he knew it was coming and made peace with it.   At one point he asked me if he was wrong 3 years ago to have told the friend of his brother who his brother was living with to call the medical emergency services to take his brother to the hospital.   But I reminded him that it saved his brother’s life and once in the nursing home he did get a lot better for a while.  I reminded him then we all knew his brother did not have long to live.  

Ron talked to the hospital hospice staff.  Unlike our hospital system where hospice and the hospital were in separate facilities, where his brother is they have a hospice unit in the hospital itself.   The staff there have been great at keeping Ron and his sister updated on the brother’s condition.  So yesterday I wrote he was breathing once every 3 minutes but the intervals between breaths were increasing.   They have reached the stage of about five minutes apart.   Which means his brother is basically brain dead and his body is running on the brain stem only.    His heart rate is down to 30 beats per minutes.  The staff told Ron that it was only a matter of time, but they did not feel he would last the day and he wouldn’t see the morning if he did.   If this was the ICU I worked in, we would have someone with him as a death watch.  The patient’s bill of rights in Florida says no patient should die along, so we find someone to stay with them.   When no family has been available or other person, I have done that my self.   But I don’t know the rules for hospice.  

Side note.  One of the last functions of the body to go when dying is hearing.   So when I would stay with a person dying I would talk gently to them, saying things like it was OK, they could rest.  I would hold the person’s hand.  I would just be there until they died.  It was the best thing I could do for them at that point.  I am not religious and I believe the dead no nothing, what we are ends.  Others have their own beliefs.  But I do believe that it is a comfort to people dying if someone is there and offering loving comfort.  I once told someone who was holding on “I talked to your family, they are safe, it is ok for you to go”.  The person passed right after I said that.   Coincident?  Well science says so.   Me … Kindness to those in need is its own reward!

The dryer we were able to fix this morning.  Ron went to an appliance parts store.  The person he talked to said the dryer we had was one of three national brands that seem to last forever with only minor things like this 20 dollar switch going bad.  But because both Ron and I struggle these days I had to help him get the new switch in, get the dryer vent hose on, and get the dryer back in place.  It tore me up and I wouldn’t have been able to do it without just having a steroid shot, the spine shot I got.  But after I struggled to breath, my back muscles are so tight I struggle to stand the pain, my legs right now are very shaky and can’t support me more than a few minutes.  I am using my canes in the house, something I don’t always have to do.  When we got done, Ron was very concern, he was thanking me but insisting I sit while he watched me.  He said my breathing sounded like a steam train.  Rapid in and out with difficulty.  That was true, I was struggling to get air into my lungs, my breathing very labored.  He wouldn’t leave me alone until my breathing became more normal.  

But the dryer works including the light which stopped working months ago due to the switch malfunctioning.  But before I can use it to fix / finish the bedding I had been washing, I came out of my Pink Palace to find Ron sound asleep in his recliner and he did not have his C-pap on.  That is very dangerous for Ron.  He has sleep apnea.  He stops breathing in his sleep.  I struggled to wake and then we got him into bed.  It has been a very stressful time for my wonderful 69 year old husband.  

Thank you to everyone who follows my Play Time, to everyone who cares for others and for Ron and me.  To everyone who comments.  And generally I am thankful for people who care about others and show it with kindness.   Best wishes, hugs, and love.  Scottie