Recently I have been suffering, the news is dark and I am again having … triggers of my past. At times when I sleep I am struggling with dreams about my abusers. Not about the abuse so much but just with them in the dreams threatening me. Thankfully after disclosing my full abuse to Ron I could talk to him. He has two solutions. First he thinks the news about the resurgence of tRump is part of the problem because tRump was like my adoptive father, only my adoptive father was far more hands on violent. So Ron wants me to take a couple of days, and ignore the news that day. Instead we have Netflix, HBO, and Amazon Prime Video and he wants me that day to watch videos and not look at any news or even the blog. I think he is correct. The other day I watched 20 minutes of a Picard show on Prime and was so happy, then crashed and went to bed. I am thinking Sunday is the best day to do this. Why. I normally set Sunday morning aside to watch on air broadcasts of the Sunday news shows. But for a long while it has become clear they cater to the republicans and attack the democrats, and the coverage after the debate was so stupid I did not even watch it. All Biden bad, but no mention of the failing tRump.
The question. Days of mental health. Oh had a great visit with my new doctor, when I told him of my abuse he totally understood. Took great pains to explain ever touch and when I flinched stepped back and asked if I needed him to stop. I like him.
So what days and how many should I forget news, forget the blog, and watch fun stuff? I want one, Ron suggests two. Yes he and I tried the after 7 no news or blog … but that did not work when I started getting up at two or three in the morning and going to bed before 7 pm. I have a thing about the ever coming in posts from other people I like, I feel driven to read them, I like them. So I think Sunday. Ron would prefer two days one during the week … But that is the most busy news times. Anyway, I told him I would ask you guys. Yes it seems silly now that I think about it, why ask people online what days I should take off, … but that is the blogging life, right? The truth is the news is depressing, I have a history of abuse that can lead to bad thoughts and so to depression. Ron has seen a decline in me that he wants to stop. He knows I will not stop watching news, but he knows I love movies and Star Trek shows. His solution is one or two days a week … only fun stuff, no blogging or news reading. What do you guys think? Sunday was the first time in weeks I got everything cleared before going to bed, so Instead maybe Saturday. I know if I take a day off or two, I will miss stuff, might lose stuff. But it might be OK. Also I agreed with Ron that we could start going out to eat something that we have not done since 2020. OK I am beating a dead horse here because I don’t want to admit he might be correct. I guess on the other computer I might put … oh heck, more YouTube as I am way behind. So many videos, so little time I can sit in this chair. Hugs. Scottie
Scottie's Playtime 
I want to think about this and come back to it.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I started a message but I think I lost it. What I said was it is hard to have good mental health when one is consuming lots of hours of news. This is especially true when the news is triggering or brings up trauma.
My question for you would be to ask what is the result that you want in spending your days curating and posting news.
Depending on your answer and your thoughts about how the news triggers you and whether you are willing to be triggered, I wonder if it could be a reasonable first step to limit the hours per day spent on consuming news. Perhaps consider only watching the same amount of time that you can spend doing life-affirming, joyful, fun things.
You watch a great, funny movie? 1.6 hours? That’s what you “earn” in news time the next day. Making it a game would be fun. Especially if
you and Ron can do this together.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hi Susan. Ron and I can not watch movies together. First we don’t like the same movies. Second he will get bored after about 15 minutes and want to watch a different show. That is why he has his TV room and I have mine.
As to why I do this. Two reasons. First I give a voice to those that have none. Please see the “why I do this page” link at the top of my blog picture. The one with the computers on the desk. Also I see interesting or important things and I want to share them with others. I know a lot of people don’t have the time I do, so they can quickly scan what I post and see if there is something they need to know or what to watch.
My physical health limits the time I can sit. I have to sit, stand, move around, lay down, repeat all that over and over during the day. Often when I post a news thing from my phone or tablet I am laying down. So it is not like I am constantly sitting at my desk reading news.
But no matter what I am doing I have headphones or earbuds in listening to podcasts of news. So even when not at my desk I have this income stream of news. And lately there has been little good positive news and a lot of horrible news of death, destruction, hate, anger, the end of democracy, the end of LGBTQ+ rights, the end of same-sex marriages, the take over of Christianity, and so on forever it seems.
That is wearing a bit on me, and my anxiety over seeing a new doctor who was going to put his hands on me was not helping me.
So the point is I think some time doing fun things, watching movies, playing video games, cooking and baking, that is what I need to do. A few years ago I baked bread and cookies, candies, and other things. I need to get back to that. Just some time refreshing my mind.
But I think you might have a great idea also. I doubt I could go a whole day away from the blog. So maybe a few hours here and there as needed. Anyway, I have to think on it, Hugs. Scottie
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Scottie;
I would like to write this little novel in the process of answering your question, so please bear with me. 🙂
So…. This last weekend I went up to see Mom and Dad. Now, I have a little thing I do – every time I go up to see them, I buy Mom a flower, either a hanging basket or a deck planter pot. I’ll shoot you a pic if you like to see how she does some of them. So, there is this “mom and pop” flower spot near their town, and I’ve watched it grow from a vegetable/flower stand to them now having a big greenhouse, fruit trees on site, decking, and just a really nice place. I went into the greenhouse and asked the worker on hand for their advice on what does better in Mom’s area. Said worker was wearing pink shoes, tight zebra stripe pants, pink shirt, blond braids, and a wispy bit of mustache. I was instantly so proud of that little shop on the outskirts of that podunk town and the greatness of living a genuine life! I so wanted to take a picture of this person and share my joy with you, but that definitely would have been creepy.
So, why did that seem so great? Scottie, there have been people fighting this fight long before I knew it was being fought. Your blog has been demanding rational and peaceful fairness for all people for years, for as long as I’ve known you. You have been a very definite light in the darkness, often forced to face the demons of your past and the horrors of the present, that others may see, may hope. That takes a toll on a warrior, and you deserve your peace.
If I may, I’d definitely say focus on the things that bring you happiness. If I could continue the warrior image, it’s good to put away the shield you have allowed so many of us to shelter behind, to put away the sword you have fought the pompous self-righteous – if not forever, at least for a bit. But, I’d also like to see you take a few moments to take joy, like I did this weekend, in those young people who can be genuine and free because of your’ and others’ fighting that good fight. Post the articles of success and hope, of joy, and know that the demons and jerks lose every time you post such a win.
Well, so goes my 2-cents. Love you big brother!
randy
LikeLike
Hi Scottie;
I would like to write this little novel in the process of answering your question, so please bear with me. 🙂
So…. This last weekend I went up to see Mom and Dad. Now, I have a little thing I do – every time I go up to see them, I buy Mom a flower, either a hanging basket or a deck planter pot. I’ll shoot you a pic if you like to see how she does some of them. So, there is this “mom and pop” flower spot near their town, and I’ve watched it grow from a vegetable/flower stand to them now having a big greenhouse, fruit trees on site, decking, and just a really nice place. I went into the greenhouse and asked the worker on hand for their advice on what does better in Mom’s area. Said worker was wearing pink shoes, tight zebra stripe pants, pink shirt, blond braids, and a wispy bit of mustache. I was instantly so proud of that little shop on the outskirts of that podunk town and the greatness of living a genuine life! I so wanted to take a picture of this person and share my joy with you, but that definitely would have been creepy.
So, why did that seem so great? Scottie, there have been people fighting this fight long before I knew it was being fought. Your blog has been demanding rational and peaceful fairness for all people for years, for as long as I’ve known you. You have been a very definite light in the darkness, often forced to face the demons of your past and the horrors of the present, that others may see, may hope. That takes a toll on a warrior, and you deserve your peace.
If I may, I’d definitely say focus on the things that bring you happiness. If I could continue the warrior image, it’s good to put away the shield you have allowed so many of us to shelter behind, to put away the sword you have fought the pompous self-righteous – if not forever, at least for a bit. But, I’d also like to see you take a few moments to take joy, like I did this weekend, in those young people who can be genuine and free because of your’ and others’ fighting that good fight. Post the articles of success and hope, of joy, and know that the demons and jerks lose every time you post such a win.
Well, so goes my 2-cents. Love you big brother!
randy
LikeLiked by 3 people
Hello Rand. Brother you have some wonderful way with words. I wish you had time to write posts, I love posting what you write. Again I would love to have you as an author on the blog, so that you could post as you wish.
I think what I am going to do is when I start to feel I need a break, that my spirit is worn, I am going to bake like I use to, I am going to watch movies or TV shows. I have several comedians in my YouTube lists, I can watch. I got too anxious lately. Now that I have seen my new doctor and like him, and seem how careful he was with me I mind is clearer. Plus for a while I was not sleeping. As you said the demons of the past were warring to burst free from the containment I put them in.
Ron and I both love the description of the worker you talked to. By dogs that love gravy that is wonderful they can live as themselves and express themselves even in the area you mentioned. It seems hate of the LGBTQ+ is not spread everywhere yet. I wonder if they were a family member? Anyway I love the picture, I wish I could add it to the comment.
Don’t worry too much about me little brother. I took some hit recently but feel good and ready to step up again. Hugs and loves, always. Scottie
LikeLike
The simple answer is whatever works best for you. Of course that’s easier said than done.
If I speak from a selfish perspective, I would say do whatever it takes so that you and I can be blogging buddies for a long time. I’ve suffered from burnout – not being able to cope with extreme stress, and I can understand how the slide (in the US perhaps it’s more like freefall) to right wing authoritarianism across much of the so called Free world contributes significantly to that.
I used to be a news hog, devouring news from multiple sources. But as critical news reporting and analysis is on its deathbed, and all we get is “balanced news” where both the rational and irrational are given equal airing, I no longer have the stomach to consume it as I once did. And as for politics in America, that’s now restricted to reading liberal blogs that retain a critical eye.
But even here in Aotearoa, the newsdesks of the two major television networks, the non-commercial radio network and two of the national newspapers/news websites have been gutted and in some cases closed down completely and in depth reporting has gone the way of the dodo (or in NZ’s case, the way of the moa).
But enough of that. Personally I do believe that you need at least two days per week away from online activities such as gathering news, posting blogs etc, and on those days do whatever gives you the most pleasure with the least stress.
But even at other times place a limit on your online activities, and prioritise your various activities. For example I know that reading and responding to comments is very important to you, and you stress out when you fall behind. Why not prioritise this part of your blogging activity, and only when you’re done with that go out and gather what you need for your next blog post. If you prioritise commenting over posting, the two different activities will quickly reach a state of comfortable equilibrium.
Currently I’m not able to keep up with all your posts, and I for one would prefer fewer posts so that I can absorb them, and then make meaningful comments. For me, the comments are a form of conversation that I can actually take part in as an equal – something that rarely occurs in “normal” face to face communication.
I like Susan’s suggestion of “earning” news gathering and other triggering activities based on the amount of “fun time” online. Another possible setup might be to consider curating and posting news as your employment and you get “paid” in entertainment time. Chatting with fellow bloggers is leisure time, much as time chatting with friends and family is.
I’m nearly 20 years your senior but my health is less fragile than yours. I regard you as an online friend. Over the 10 years I’ve been blogging, I’ve lost a number of blogging friends – including two I regarded as mentors. It took me until I was 60 years old and discovering I’m autistic before I realised how important it is to “stop and smell the roses”. Don’t leave it as long as I did. You won’t regret it.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hi Barry. Your comment is wonderful. I also want to stay blogging buddies as long as possible. Burn out was what I was experiencing.
I agree with you the major news networks in the US are not really interested in reporting news as they are claiming both sides do it so they keep as many eyes, ears, clicks as possible on their sites.
As for the amount I post, I do that on purpose. I don’t expect everyone to watch every video or read every post. My view is my viewers have far ranging interests that might now always be the same as mine. I want to share everything that interests me, but also understand that some will be interested in it, some will not. I look at my blog as a buffet of information. Something for everyone, but no one is going to eat / enjoy it all.
Doing comments first. Yes that is what I am doing, in fact what I am doing now. I have the comments up and have spent all morning answering them. You are correct. I love them. To me it feels like a conversation, a discussion. I love the sharing with others.
I am not so in favor of Susan’s idea as I like just trying to moderate my news / computer time via my feelings. I decided that when I feel myself getting too depressed, too just overwhelmed I have decided to go back to things I loved doing like baking, watching a comedy show, or TV / movie. Basically I have decided that when I start to stressed I will move to doing something that relieves that. Thanks for the input, for your thought on this Barry. Best wishes. Scottie
LikeLike
Mine’s gonna be long, too.
When tfg and his missus came down that escalator before 2016, and he started talking, a thing happened to me. There was fluttering in my chest area. It took a long time and several medical tests to determine that it was anxiety, for which I was medicated for about a year and a half, then successfully came off of it. I think I told you earlier that I began stress eating when tfg was nominated, then elected. The diagnosis came after that. Over the course of the time that I used medicine, I lost many pounds (including pounds that had nothing to do with anxiety, just never dropping what I’d gain over holidays/whatever.) Anyway, I did that, lowered my blood pressure, and basically came out the other side. I even figured out that it was tfg and his voice-he’s an abusing bully-that’d triggered my anxiety, which before meds, also produced 2 full-fledged-worse-than-when-a-toddler-rides-his-trike-from-in-front-of-a-parked-car-then-in-front-of-my-moving-car panic attacks. I gained some management tools outside of meds, I use/d them, I stopped listening to news at all, preferring to read it (which is what I actually preferred, anyway, and still do.) And if the news was very bad, I took the headlines, left the rest for a day or two, and just read blogs on WordPress for my coverage. While I’ve got some anxiety again with recent occurrences and news, I’m taking it as I can/will, no more, no less. It works for me. We simply have got to take care of ourselves, each and every one of us.
I, personally, like the 2-day plan. I take 2 fitness rest days, where I do no strength work at all unless it’s naturally occurring during housework or something, and achieve the minimum of my FitWitch goals. You could look at a 2-day-off blog plan in a similar fashion. Maybe you can even prevail upon commenters here to do a guest post or two during your days off, or you only post uplifting things that make you happy: truly happy, like the kitties and cooking, etc., or gaming posts. Or simply don’t post at all for 2 days, similar to how many comics writers attend their strips.
But I am not the boss of you. This is simply what I think would help, and I don’t truly know what is best for you. I trust Ron’s judgment, though, and I posted all of the above stuff so you know you aren’t the only one here in the Playtime blog who needs to take a health break in the interest of self-preservation and self care.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hello Ali. I platonically love you. I am so sorry the tRump stuff did that to you. I knew tRump from when Ron worked from him. Everything said about him is true, he has no anger control, is a horrible business person, and such a complete ego maniac.
I don’t think I can go an entire day away from the blog, and I am already bouncing back. Part of my stress was not so much the news but … my new doctor and was he going to want to touch me below the waist. Once I talked to him about it and he understood. He was very good. He talked me through every touch he made on me. One of the best doctors I have had for that. The one time he touched me without warning and I jumped … he immediately backed off and apologized, and asked if he could continue. I liked him and his approach. As I said after my meeting with him, my stress went way down. It is hard for those not abused to understand how meeting a new doctor who may ask to touch you, to have you remove clothing … One of my worst memories is having the principal and teachers demanding I take off my clothing in first grade. I understand now why they did it, but then I cried and pleaded I wouldn’t tell, please don’t hurt me. That really is hard for me unless I have known the doctor for a while. I know several abuse survivors on MS that went to a new doctor and … well were abused. It happens with some who were conditioned to give in when demanded as children. I won’t, I will not be one of those. So yes, my stress was high.
I have decided the thing I need to do is when I feel very stressed, very unhappy, very wanting to run from it all. I am going to bake, watch comedy, watch movies or TV shows, basically anything to relieve stress. It will be OK. I will be getting out of the house more often, doing stuff away from the blog. But an entire day. No way I could stand that.
Anyway, all good, Ali thank you for posting your own issues. We can get through this together. We are going to win … I think. Hugs. Scottie
LikeLiked by 1 person
I didn’t want you to feel alone, though I know you don’t, but it doesn’t hurt to know others are around. Many of us, actually, from things I’ve read since all that happened. Anyway, you do what you gotta do, OK?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Ali. Thank you. I just made a post here and on Male Survivor about something that has been in my nightmares and keeping me awake at night. I hate I have these and yet when I get them out it helps. Hugs. Scottie
LikeLiked by 1 person
My dear Scottie,
I am going to sound like a bossy jerk, so please take it with a grain and read the last line if nothing else.
I would listen to Ron on this. He knows you best. He sees you in health jeopardy. If he suggests taking two days a week off from the news it’s because he sees a connection between news and your reactions that are concerning.
Two days a week. Take two days in this next week and the one after as a trial run. Just try two days a week for only fun and happy activities – or at least for avoiding news and giving your cats extra pets. You mentioned movies – if you’ve got them queued up you’ll have a chance to watch. I tend to watch Disney plus type of shows, but Amphibia and The Owl House aren’t to everyone’s taste. I’ve also been enjoying Bluey, which usually has a literal laugh out loud moment every episode. That one is notable for two things I’ve learned about it – 1) the color palette is all dog-recognizable colors and 2) the child voice actors are all anonymous.
Well, that took a detour. Get back on topic, MD…
Please take Ron’s advice and give yourself two news-free days a week for the next two weeks or at least a week on a trial basis. It will give you a chance to see if you feel better and re-evaluate if you don’t.
You don’t have to stick to the first thing you try but I truly hope you will try two news free days this week, just to see how it goes.
All the best X hugs X
MDavis
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hi MDavis. I like your movie choices. I don’t know any of them personally but I have heard of Bluey which has great reviews.
As you say we don’t have to stick to the first thing. Ron and I realize an entire day away from news or my blog would drive me crazy. So what we have decided to try is when I feel overwhelmed or getting too sad I simply back off and do other things like baking with or without Ron, Ron wants to start going out to eat again, and that will pull me away from the blog. We have lots of plans, but they include me understanding my own emotional health not depending on others to figure out I am in distress. Thanks for the comment.
Ron made a great supper on my suggestion, put a beef roast in the crock pot with beef broth, beef bullion, and peppers and onions. Season it with Fajita and other steak seasonings. It comes out so tender and tasty. Next time we will add mushrooms. But after eating I am tired, so off to bed. Hugs. Scottie
LikeLiked by 1 person
We all have to find our happy place. I can watch news for 10-15 minutes a day, by then I’m getting fucking irritated, and can’t take it anymore. So I look for a baseball game, or go to Pluto (free tv app) where I can find old episodes of darn near everything. I spend a lot of time watching MST3K, Rifftrax, Stand Up, Star Trek TOS, Farscape, The Twilight Zone, anything that gets me away from the daily bullshit about that orange fucker, corrupt SCOTUS, corrupt R’s, and every sorry mf’er out there who has put party over country, and money over integrity.
Then the cycle starts all over again… Just keep the 24/7 news to knowing what happened today, and fuck the talking heads who go on and on and on speculating on everything. That’s my prescription.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hi Shelldigger. I agree with you. I couldn’t watch the Sunday shows this last weekend. For the first time in years I turned them off and went back to YouTube. They were over the top attacking Biden, but they never mentioned tRump’s constant lies and how as the night went on he wilted, while Biden got stronger as the night went on. They had three republicans on defending tRump and denying reality but only one had a democrat on and they hammered him about how bad Biden was. All because they demand a horse race for ratings and money. I like the Star Trek shows, loved Farscape, the Twilight Zone. Have you ever watched Firefly? Great show, never had a chance. The movie was also good.
For me if I start to get too stressed out or depressed, I am going to go bake or cook. I used to love cooking and baking. Or watch the new seasons of Piccard which I find really great. Hugs. Scottie
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love Firefly! Watched the entire series a time or two. I found The Expanse a good series as well.
Wife is in the living room watching news, I left after 5 minutes, disgusted. That’s why I’m here 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people