First I want to acknowledge that I still 11 tabs of comments I did not get to yet today. They are saved for tomorrow. I know Ali and Randy understand my situation so I want to clue the rest in before I go to bed, and yes I am very tired.
I went to bed about 5 PM last night after eating some beef stroganoff that Ron insisted I eat before going to bed. But I couldn’t sleep. So I tossed and turned until Ron came to bed hours later.
Then because we are a couple that love each other and like sleeping together we snuggled, me spooning him first and while he slept I did not. Then he woke and he wanted us to roll over so we did, now he was pressed tight to me … and again he fell asleep. Then about 11:45 he woke up and wanted to stop cuddling which I agreed with. He fell asleep.
Well I fretted but did manage to fall asleep about 11:45 pm or later … only to be woken by our rescue inside outside old cat that need lots of feedings started yellowing at the top of his small lungs. At 12:50 am. I got up. Ron who wakes up if I snort or cry out or hell even turn over wrong, sleeps through his cat’s cries. I feed him, the cat, not Ron. Then I returned to bed. I watched the clock. I was not going to get up, I was not going to get up, I was not going to get up … fuck it I got up. At 1:30 am. No sleep, grumpy.
About 5 am had some sloppy Joe mix Ron made the night before. It is not setting well with me. We have been having trouble finding one that tastes good but doesn’t make me thorw up.
Well I am online answering comments and doing my blogging stuff until Ron gets up at 6:30 am. I ask him if he wants to walk, he says no he wants me to go lay down, I am now two days without sleep. I go lay down at 7 am. I stay there until 7″30 am and can’t sleep, so get up and go to talk to Ron. He says I need to try longer. I do, At 9 am I get up and am determined to start my blogging day.
I am blogging and helping Ron. I do the dishes as Ron has been clearing the Florida Room junked up with stuff after Hurricane Ian we had nowhere else to put. An argument I made for a new shed that no one would listen to me on. We had a huge dresser packed with dishware, and we brought it in to be cleaned. We had a large stand up cabinet we emptied or more dishware and stuff we need so also brought that into the main house to clean.
So all day while I did laundry and helped Ron wash and dry dishes I did some blogging. It was all going great … Until this evening when Ron asked me several uncomfortable questions … Damn it!
Did you eat today he asked? Yes I joyfully told him I had the sloppy Joe mix you made last night, ate two buns so 4 sides. … he looked at me. Did it stay down. Well I stuttered … so far but it is trying hard to come back up. That was when he declared such mix off the menu until I can stomach better despite my counterarguments.
The rest of the afternoon went well, we worked on laundry and even the Florida room and moved / washed the stuff together for their new place in the house.
Then things took an ugly turn. At around 4:45 pm Ron decided I need to eat. I informed him (sounds better than saying I told him) I was not hungry. He got angry. Scottie he tried to sound authoritarian … you have to eat, you are losing too much weight and this is not good for you. I countered with I am not hungry and if I force my self I will be sick … But I relented and said OK how about a small salad. I love salads and in a small bowl even when I am really nauseated I can eat them.
But he had a better idea I liked right away. On the advice of our wonderful brother Randy Ron bought some yogurts for this situation. He gave me one and I did not complain … I knew better. I ate it. Not a flavor I like. I struggled it down anyway or else he was going to make something and watch me while I ate it.
Now it is nearly 6 pm here. I have not gotten to all the comments and pages I have opened … but I keep falling asleep at my desk. Not something I want to have Ron discover me doing. If he finds me asleep he will throw a huge fit that will take a lot more to solve than just going to bed. Plus my eyes keep blurring out and I clear them to realize I typed nonsense or worse. Night all. Hugs and loves. Scottie
Scottie's Playtime 
I hope your rest is refreshing.
Yogurt is a miracle food for stomach upset; oddly, so is oatmeal.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hi Ali. Yes I like yogurt and used to eat it often I also used to eat instant oatmeal for breakfast but I have not been eating that either. I can not emphasize how little I eat right now. Yesterday I had one hot dog with chili on it for breakfast and a small salad for supper, and this morning I have only eaten one hot dog with chili on it and have no desire to eat. In fact the idea of eating bothers me. I only have hunger when I get my steroid shots which I get tomorrow. Maybe then I will want to eat. Ron has stopped making big dinners. The last time he made me a steak and baked potato I was able to eat half a potato and half the small steak. But what has Ron really upset is the possibility of my being badly anemic again. The last time it was really bad I was in the hospital for a few days and he worried I might die. He is frantic not to have it get that bad. But him offering me more food is not the way to fix it. I think the doctor might be able to give me medication to boost my blood cell production. Anyway at least the steroids will give me energy again. Hugs
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know it, I’ve been paying attention and just keeping my lip zipped because it’s not my place to say anything. But there is something going on, and a human body cannot live off of what you eat. It can, but you need much more of what you eat.
And there I went and did it, anyway. I’m sorry; it’s not my business. But, lack of appetite in humans as well as doggies is always a sign that something’s happening, and it’s never good. I was relieved to read you saw an endocrinologist, though. And I hope your shots help out tomorrow, even as I recall that frequently, you have more pain afterward until they kick in.
Ah, well. You will eat all you can, I’m sure, even if it’s just a few bites every hour. Every little bit helps.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ali, dear wonderful Ail. You are my friend. It is your place to speak your mind anytime and any way you think it is needed or I should hear. I know something is wrong. As of yet no one has mentioned why. It doesn’t help I have not seen my doctors on time. It has been a year since I saw my endocrinologist but his scheduling conflicts kept me from getting an appointment. That is why this month I have my primary and next month him. But the fact is that for two years the fact I can not grow fingernails most of the time, normally they are so short, thin, brittle, and break down deep into the skin at the slightest pressure. I have tried to find answers and every specialist doctor blames the other. The only way I can grow them so that they are not so painful is to stop taking the vitamins the Endo doctor wants me on, the dermatologist in charge of nails says it is my thyroid. It is right on the edge of being OK. Again when I take the vitamins my thyroid goes bad. So it is a catch 22. But add into this the anemia and … ? Plus my other doctor diagnosed me with crps (complete regional pain syndrome) in my left arm causing all sorts of weird shit from over heating to sweating when the rest of me is not, to other things,
But I am really happy. I worried the results would show a cancer. Ron is still thinking something bad, but I feel a lot better. Hey I am 172 pounds now down from 210 pounds. I can afford to lose another 20 pounds right? Hugs.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t know if you can afford to lose more weight; I don’t really know how tall you are, and all that stuff. I just know that when people don’t eat, their hearts get weak (along with the other muscles, but the heart gets overlooked as a muscle.) So, yes, I’ve been concerned you would join Karen Carpenter, but also, yes, I’ve been concerned about some form of cancer, and that maybe organ swelling is causing your discomfort with eating.
Peoples’s minds work on things, don’t they? 🙂
But, Ron’s there and he knows these things, and it really isn’t my place to state all that, at least until now when it’s come up in conversation. And, even over time, you’re getting it all looked at. Up here, it’s at least 2 weeks before a person can get an appt., by which time symptoms are gone or have changed, but it’s the price patients pay in a for-profit system, so it isn’t as if you’re putting off going to get things checked out. You’re doing all you can. I just hope you will try harder to squeeze down food. Anyway, we do understand friendship!
LikeLike
Writing this at 9.20am uk time. Hope you are sleeping well and will be feeling better when you get up Scottie.
Best wishes
Roger
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Roger. Thank you. Well the blood work is back and it seems I am anemic again. I have bone damage so my large bones don’t always make enough blood cells for my body. Thank the abuse of my childhood for the lifelong gift my abusers gave me. The last time it was getting this bad I ended up in the hospital for a few days as they scrambled to stabilize me. I have a steroid shot tomorrow so I will have more appetite after for a few weeks. I think one reason is it also boosts my red blood cell production. But the other thing is the doctor can put me on medication to push my body to make more blood cells for me. Thank you for caring.
Have a grand Christmas holiday and I hope you and Sheila along with all the family members and I hope many can be with you. I value your friendship and always want the best for you and your family. The world desperately needs more people as you and yours. May your future generations carry your feelings and idea forward. Hugs
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for your kind remarks Scottie, I value these in particular at this time, when your own health issues must be uppermost in your mind.
Wishing you and Ron the Christmas holidays you are hoping most for.
And a better New Year than all the pundits (self included) are suggesting might happen. You never know.
Roger & Sheila.
🙏🙏
LikeLiked by 1 person