Opinion | Why do Trump voters have no regrets? Because the people they hate are getting hurt more
Even amid political chaos and rising prices, what matters most to his supporters is a macabre form of payback and vengeance, says Guardian columnist Arwa Mahdawi
Read in The Guardian: https://apple.news/Aow6Z2NCvTIC-EwjcGIeSjg
Shared from Apple News
Best Wishes and Hugs,Scottie
Scottie's Playtime 
That much has been obvious for years now. Ever since they went into shock over an African American being president for 8 years.
It’s a nihilistic very negative thing. All they have is to deconstruct, and live in some dream world where as long as they say so, everything is fine.
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Hi Roger. Anger I understand. Dislike even high dislike I get. Rage and hate … over race and sexuality, over things that did not hurt them personally I do not. And by hurt them I mean physically cause them pain and bodily injury. That amount of emotion over something distant from them personally that they were again not physically harmed by is something I struggle to understand.
Roger not to beat the dead donkey … you know my history. My childhood. I recently wrote of coming home from the Army and being asked by the oldest of my hell spawn sibling abusers to go out on a four day trip with him in his semi truck. He used the excuse that he was seriously tired and needed to make this run and I had driven a semi before in the Army a bit. I thought wow this guy that trafficked me as a child to his friends at parties finally respects me. I agreed. I was 24. When I met him I was 3 and he was 14. I was so stupid.
Boy was I wrong. He picked me up just before dark, and we drove a few hours until he pulled into a truck stop. He drank a bunch of beer which was illegal but he did it all the time. He then took off his clothing and lay down in the bunk of the unit. He had kept pushing the beer on me until I drank one. I settled down in the passenger seat getting ready to sleep. But he demanded I get in the bunk with him. I said I was fine and he angrily replied he couldn’t sleep with me in the seat and he needed rest to drive. I agreed, I took off my shirt, shoes, but kept my pants on and got into the bunk next to him. I felt I was safe, I was an Army vet trained to defend myself. As soon as I relaxed he forced me over on my stomach and yanked my pants down and raped me. I was stunned, I reverted to that little boy who he used since I was three years old when he was 11 years older than me. Then he was 14 and a horny teen. Back to then I weighed about 124 pounds with a 26 inch waist which even then the pants were loose on me, and he was 6.2 and 240 pounds. I reverted and froze just letting him do it with only the first complaints.
When he was done he told me that was what was going to happen from now on. He wanted me to be the child I was when he was a teenager, compliant and needing to please him to keep from being hit or hurt. From that night I rode nude in the bunk and every time the truck parked he raped me. During the trip he told me he and his wife were not having sex and so it was good for me to provide it for him. He talked and acted like it was completely normal to have someone nude that he used … and that is the word … used me when he was not driving. He was stunned when after the trip the next time he called me and demanded I go out with him I refused. He wanted to know why. The last trip had worked great he claimed and he needed me to go with him. I hung up.
You also know about the rage hurt rape I took from a different teen sibling when I was 7 or 8. I told you how I after I got free after he finished and fell asleep, I went and got a gun. I loaded it and put it right next to his temple … and I heard a calm soft voice begging me not to do it, not to pull the trigger. The voice went on for a bit but it seemed longer to the child me with his semen and my blood running down my legs. As you know I did not pull the trigger. I have to admit I wonder because of all the future rapes, forced oral sex, and humiliations with urine I faced after if I should have done it.
OK I wrote all the above to help you understand what I am going to write next. If anyone should be filled with rage and hate along with outright bitterness towards people it should be me. I think I earned that right. I paid for it for with 24 years of dehumanizing abuse. But when I met Ron I quickly realized something. I loved him right away, I cared about him instantly, and I wanted his love. He did feel the same except he saw the anger simmering just under the surface. He looked at my life and seen I was on a course to self destruct. He had spent a month getting close and now he was starting to pull back from me. I really wanted to keep him. When I asked him what was bothering him he said he could see I was angry, struggling, and he feared that as his sister had had an abusive husband that hurt her bad. I promised him I wouldn’t ever hurt him, I would never raise a hand to him. But I could see he was worried. The day two months in when he damaged my new truck he was very worried I would explode, but instead I took him in my arms and hugged him. I told him I was just glad he was safe and the truck could be fixed.
From the time he told me he could see it, could feel I might explode I went to work. Ron was so important to me in my life then … and now. I won’t say it was easy, but over the years I wiped out hate from my body, from my mind, from my emotions. Again I would love to say it was easy or quick but it took a long time. I guess I gave myself an exorcism and removed the demon of hate from me. I even avoid the causal mention of the word. I don’t like to get anywhere near the anger, rage, the mindset I had back then. And it worked. I forget how many decades ago Ron told me he no longer seen that rage in me, that anger, and he told me he was not afraid I would explode. The day he told me he felt entirely safe with me was the best day of my life after the day I met him. Enough for me to take personal care of the dying adult male who abused me with me having to hold the same organ he raped me with while I helped him relieve himself. And wipe the shitty butt hole he often forced me to lick as a child. No he never apologized. But then his mind was already gone and he hated me but did not understand why.
So for these people who hate those different from them, for those who want to hurt the people of different skin color, different sexual attraction, those who feel they are a gender different from their assigned at birth … those people I do not anymore understand. I have to ask them what it is doing to them their hate, what is that drive to hurt doing to their relationships. Their friendships. If I could work through and get beyond what I lived through, they can work through things that really never harm them.
Thank you Roger for reading this. I realize it is long. It is also unfair of me to make this a reply to your comment. But it just flowed from me and I feel you will understand. If the god you worship is there for everyone maybe it was one of his that was the voice I heard in my head while holding that gun. Maybe it was a different pagan goddess. But that voice kept me from possibly a more horrible fate or much shorter life. Again thank you. Hugs
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Sorry for the delay in getting back to you Scottie. Sometimes depending on what part of the day something is written there can be a gap, in addition to the usual daily routine stuff.
You and Ron obviously have a very beautiful and precious love between you that transcends the angers, the pains and the rages and has driven those down.
Even the painful and horrifying abuses which were inflicted upon you, that in many folk could have taken a very different direction. I admire your courage and your forbearance to have come out the other side, and able to talk openly about the most horrid, evil events.
Prejudice, Intolerance and Hate are the toxins in Humanity. Learned folk will write at great length about the Hows and the Whys. Others of tremendous faith and compassion will try to turn people away from dreadful ways.
I guess my own flaws and ‘somethings’ allow me to see into those mindsets because I recognise the motivations and the twists of logic that get someone there. That said, there comes a time when a person should say ‘Woa. This is not right,’, particularly if they claim to embrace a faith.
I have always had a strong repulsion to prejudice and intolerance but it took me a while (like about 60 years) to realise my Intolerance of Intolerance was a bit on the harsh side of solving the problem. I had to step back.
It was necessary to consider folk like yourself Scottie who had to the proverbial hell and back and yet still came out the other side to understand I was one of those who was too often taking one too many sips from the Hate bottle.
Talking of Faith and ending my reply on the theme you were ending with. It is not my way to even suggest to folk to follow in my faith (it’s a complicated outlook- maybe for another time). All I would say, is that within you there is a treasure of the perspective and true Humanity which had you draw back from that deed. You listened and as well as you the world was better for it. That was when you stood as a giant above many. A true Man.
Bless you for that act. That courage.
Take care, both of you. (Say Hi to Ron for us)
Roger & Sheila
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Thank both of you. Hugs
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🙏🙏🙂🙂
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