Hoax With Sprinkles by Clay Jones
Trump should shut his donut hole Read on Substack

A group of Epstein abuse survivors held a press conference on Capitol Hill yesterday, calling for the release of all the documents related to the investigation into Jeffrey Epstein. Donald Trump replied to this, calling it a βDemocrat hoax,β which was weird since his name didnβt even come up, other than pleas to help release the files. So, what exactly is the βhoaxβ heβs speaking of?
This is like a case where someone ran a bus full of nuns off a cliff, and then a friend says to you, βHey, did you hear about that bus full ofβ¦β And you interrupt, shouting, βI didnβt do it! Those nuns are lying!β
Has Donald Trump ever sexually assaulted a nun?
Bipartisan lawmakers and Survivors of Epsteinβs abuse gathered on the steps of the Capitol to demand that Congress vote to release all the files related to the investigation. These are files that Speaker Mike Johnson, who told his colleagues to ignore the petition, does not want released. Today on GoComics, one of the trolls said that the Epstein Files wonβt implicate Trump. If thatβs the case, then Trump should release them.
This is weird because MAGAts are either demanding the release of the files or helping Trump with the cover-up. Is that what Watergate was like, with Republicans stating that nobody needs to hear the missing 18 minutes?
Iβve never said the Epstein Files would implicate Trump, but Iβm all for pressuring the regime to release them. Thereβs a reason why the regime wonβt release them. What is that reason? (snip-MORE, and it’s excellent)
Trump Revamps the Smithsonian Art Collection by Ann Telnaes Read on Substack
WASHINGTONβDenouncing the Smithsonian Institutionβs art collection for being βtoxically wokeβ, Donald J. Trump announced today that he is replacing it with newly commissioned works depicting himself and members of his inner circle: Melania Trump, Pam Bondi, Stephen Miller, JD Vance, and Kristi Noem.

Deep Dish Homicide by Clay Jones
I’ve been known to murder a few pizzas Read on Substack

Describing the city as the βmurder capital of the world, Donald Trump said yesterday that heβs going to send the National Guard into Chicago, saying, βWeβre going in.β Actually, Memphis is the βmurder capitalβ of the United States, but itβs in Tennessee, which is a red state. These are all photo-ops, you know.
Trump reversed course today while entertaining Polandβs new president, who, like Putin, got a military flyover. A lot of DC residents didnβt appreciate the flyover, as those things tend to be loud, and they shake things off shelves, like cats do.
I canβt tell you how many times Iβve been to the District, and Iβve never gotten a military flyover.
Trump said that now heβd like for the military to be invited by governors before he sends the military into their cities for photo-ops, like he did with DC.
Trump said, βWe are making a determination now. Do we go to Chicago? Or do we go to a place like New Orleans where we have a great governor, Jeff Landry, who wants us to come in and straighten out a very nice section of this country that has become quite β quite tough, quite bad?β Make up your mind, Trump. Is it nice or is it bad?
Someone must have told Trump that itβs illegal to send the military into cities without formal requests by governors. DC is a different situation as it is under the exclusive constitutional authority of Congress, which has the power to directly intervene in local governance. This arrangement is due to the city’s status as a federal district, not a state, and gives DC residents limited self-government and no voting representation in Congress. The citizens of Washington, DC have taxation without representation.
But other cities are different, and a judge just ruled that Trump broke the law when he sent Marines into Los Angeles to break up anti-ICE protests. Trump can probably expect the same verdict if he invades Chicago, which the city will reject. (snip-MORE)