I do this. I share on this blog. But if trouble I call Randy. I desperately do not want to return to the bad times. But if the nightmares get bad, if I am crying I reach out to him. Does he deserve to be my main support person? No, but he is willing to be so. Just weeks ago I was struggling with self harming again. I called Randy. I did not know but I interrupted his getting supper after a hard time at work. He talked me off the ledge, he calmed me down, and he did not let me off the phone until I assured him I wouldn’t hurt myself. That is the person Randy is. I am so sorry to put my friend through this. Hugs
Scottie's Playtime 
Ooh, mind.org. I’ve explored that site in the past, although seeking info on a different situation. They seem to be a great, practical resource.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi MDavis. It was on one of the meme sites I go to for stuff to post. The author must struggle as I do because they post a lot of stuff like this. Hope you are well. Hugs
LikeLike
I’m doing okay.
I’ll be brave here. I found this site when I was searching on hoarding. I was heading down a dark road of possessions and this helped me start dealing with it.
For one thing it showed me how much worse it can get. I’ve stopped it sort of early. And it showed me I’m not alone. The first thing, though, is that I seem to be on this spectrum. It could be worse, but if I don’t fix it it probably will be.
I do wish I was progressing faster. I think my current spirit animal is a snail, the one from the riddle, the one climbing out of a well. It feels like I’m backsliding a lot but I have pictures. I can look at them and see that I have made progress.
Okay, I don’t want to talk about this any more right now.
(Hugs)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi MDavis. Hording is an issue both Ron and I have. I am sorry you are experiencing it. Ron saves all bits and pieces of wood and even old screws or nails he has to straighten out. His sheds are bursting. I can’t talk I do the same with computer stuff, everything from cables to memory bars that are not used in any modern computer. Ron’s sister when she was here made him get rid of anything he had not used in 20 years.
I had Ron and James go through my first stash of computer stuff back in 2008, and we cleared a lot out. However my office closet has thirty boxes of cables, cards, memory, dozens of the same type of cables, HDMI cables, cables, and adapters not used in 20 years. So much more like two boxes of IWatch covers and wristbands for different causes. I will soon be moving from this room to the new office Ron is building, and that will let me go through all these boxes and throw out what is not needed or never will be. Hugs.
LikeLike
Ugh… throwing stuff out is so much harder than it sounds. I have started bringing stuff to our local thrift store, one box at a time. I can’t tell the difference yet, except when I compare pictures.
I was offered help which I refused because I was pretty sure that my friend throwing stuff away would trigger me replacing it and adding a bit more. I didn’t mean to insult him, but I could almost hear my mind planning on replacements just from it being brought up.
I don’t want it to take this long but don’t know how to go fast without it backfiring. At least I seem to be heading in the right direction, finally.
All good hopes for your success dealing with this.
(hugs)
LikeLike
Hi Scottie. This was a good post. Disheartening thing about mental health [outside of the poor color people put on that word. If you say “heart health” people don’t think you’re having a heart attack, but if we say “mental health” people think ‘crazy’. Secret is, we are all crazy in our own way 🙂 ] is that people are most often really trying to make it through the hurt and hard parts of their life the best they can, and admitting that they need help can seem to them as a weakness. It’s not. It’s absolute wisdom. We have a lot coming at us in life, and frankly it can become overwhelming. It gets too damn heavy, too much to carry. And, often times we have pointed out to us that we are so desperately trying to carry loads that aren’t ours to carry, that aren’t necessary to carry.
Hugs!
randy
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hello Brother. Yes, what you say is so true. I rarely ever admit to being abused, I have only told 3 of my many doctors because of the stigma. One doctor I had seen since 2006, after I told him, thanked me for trusting him enough to share it. He is a grand doctor, he also added that if I needed anything that I was not feeling like I could ask a different doctor about my abuse I could come to him and he would try his best to help.
I post how it is not wrong or something wrong in you to hurt emotionally, mentally. Yet sadly sometimes even I need reasurance. You need the Jedi master badge of honor for how many times you have talked me down, have helped me handle the pain in my mind, emotion, and my body. My first otheropidic surgeon told me after my first scans and tests that I had been badly abused, it was written in my bones. Yet while my doctors may see it I always try to hide it. My body, my emotions, and my mind will always be traumatized by what I went through. According to my last therapist I have PTSD over it all. She also told me I use OCD to try to manage it.
Why because most doctors don’t understand and they use it against you.
I am always amazed that with all you deal with every day you can still find time to talk to me and help me deal with my own demons. You work long hours and are responsible for so much, yet you find time for me and you still post on the blog. I see you posted again which I love, your posts are so grand. But how you have such compassion for others is amazing to me. I wish I could stand the stress you do and still care for people as I do, and I am afraid I couldn’t do it. Thank you for being a role model even though you really are the younger brother. Hugs
LikeLike
I need to add the first doctor who noticed the marks on my arms way back in the 2010s and she questioned me, she had talks with Ron on how to help me. She was the doctor who helped Ron and you bring me out of the 2014 wish to not exist. She is the one that in our last visit noticed something was wrong with me and I was not as I normal was. She asked me what was wrong and she was the one who told me it was time to talk to someone, and when I told her of my betrayal of the last therapist she said then I needed to talk to someone else. She repeated to me it was time. I think right now I am handling it. I can deal with the memories if I can keep my thoughts from them. Yes, I am doing avoidance. Hell, it worked most of my life maybe it will work now.
Besides I have to deal with my PSA shooting up 3 points in 3 months. Hugs
LikeLike