I treat everyone how I want to be treated. Recently the pharmacist at the pharmacy I use took the time to thank me for Ron and mine patience and joyful demeanor when we came to pick up our medications or when we decided to wait for them. He said so many people get irritated that we can’t instantly do what they want but you make us smile and tell us it is OK, as you know we are working as hard as we can. I thanked him but replied I know how hard their job is because from the minute they open the pharmacy until they leave people want something and they want it right now.
Ron and I went in last monday morning and Ron got two vaccines and I got four. We joked around with the staff and waited happily as they got all the required things done on their computers. They were busy and I asked if it would be better if we came back another time. The pharmacist said no, they were busy but we were willing to give them the time needed and they appreciated that. Ron and I don’t even need to give our names when we go to get our medications as they know us. They seem to think that Ron and I are treating them with respect and understanding is a gift when we think it is just simple respect.
It is how I deal with everyone I deal with. I respect everyone until they show me they don’t deserve my respect. Clerks, people behind desks, and others that help you in stores all deserve respect. Again I hope I will be treated as I treat others. When out in the public most people hide their pain, I know I do. Some people can sense when I struggle.
Recently at the nearby Publix grocery store where we get three cases of 2 litter sodas a week, after they were brought to me in a cart the young man noticed my cane. He offered to go out to the car and load them for me. I said it was OK; I was slow and did not want to take up his time. Then he said something I remember. He said I have seen you struggle to lift stuff, I really don’t mind doing it. He then pushed my cart to my car and loaded all of them in the trunk. He asked how I would get them into the house and I said I break them out into two sodas in a reusable grocery bag. He offered to do it for me as the bags were right there. Really nice person. It saved me a lot of effort and pain. I did feel a bit guilty for taking this young person’s time and the effort he was making on my behalf but to tell the truth those cases are really heavy for me and it hurts when I lift them. Hugs
I read a story a few years ago about a couple of girls working at one of those many flavor ice cream shops. No idea if it was true, and it has absolutely nothing to do with your story except that people are in both…
These girls got a grumpy woman one day asking for a quart of some flavor (call it butter pecan) of ice cream and she waited impatiently for them, basically threw money at them, and left. They weren’t very busy at the time and they complained a bit, thinking it’s the only time they’d see her.
She was back the nest day. Same ice cream. Same attitude.
They decided complaining wasn’t making their day so they made a game of getting her ice cream ready for her before she got to the counter. Same gruffness, took the ice cream and left.
One day she didn’t show up and the next day. They kind of missed her.
The third day she came in and thanked them both. Her husband had been in the hospital, very ill, and that ice cream was pretty much all he could eat. He’d died three days before but that customer wanted the girls to know that they’d made a very difficult time easier just by turning an opportunity to complain into a cheerful game.
You never know – could be true, maybe not, but it did make sniffle. And it’s something for me to remember when I really want to complain.
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Hi MDavis. I hope in a way that the story is true. I worked in the surgical ICU. We had a patient who was a miserable asshole. Constantly on the button that summed assistance. He couldn’t be made happy. He was always mean and hateful. After he died his wife told us he had not been like that before he ended up in our ICU. She said that he had before been a kind understanding man. He woke up in our ICU a person she did not recognize. She thanked each of us that cared for her husband and gave the unit a small gift of different flowers we arranged across the desk.
I have always felt that how I am treating people behind the counter or helping me is an important thing regardless of how I feel. I have the idea that no matter how bad I feel it is not the fault of the person behind the counter. Some days I feel like crap or hurt so bad I struggle to breathe but I do not take it out on others and if asked simply say I am fine. Hugs
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I agree with everything you say here, although I don’t always live up to those standards. I like to think I’m getting better at it but when I have bad days I find myself talking about politics and there goes my good streak.
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Scottie, you have to start giving yourself some respect, not just hand it out to others. You did not say if the young man was a store employee, though I suspect he was. No matter whether he was paid for helping you or not, but he was still offering kindness. Accept it as a gift, smile, say thank you. That is what he wants, the recognition of him helping you. When someone offers help, please take it. Do not say you don’t need it or you don’t want it, that could be a rebuff and he/she might never try to anyone else ever again. You are not a superman. You are a person who requires help. Don’t demand help, but when it comes take it.
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Hi Rawgod. Yes I do have an issue with self-worth. It was drummed into me how worthless ect I was by the adpoting adults and their hellspawn. It does affect me to this day. Yes he was a store employee. They hire people who also spend time bagging and if a person appears older or disabled they offer to push the cart to their car and load the groceries. When I have had to use my walker I have let them help me. But normally I say no as I am slow and they are busy. The younger people I think enjoy going outside and chatting with people. The company is very LGBTQ+ and disabled positive. They hire the handicaped people who can still do the job but for example they have one young man with only one hand, and they hire people who are physically able but mentally handicaped. I have only seen one unhappy employee in their stores. Everyone seems happy and eager to help. If you ask where something is the employee doesn’t just tell you, they take you to it or help you search for it if they don’t know exactly. As I said they are very LGBTQ+ positive and as Ron and I are well known at the store if we are alone they always ask about the other one of us. Hugs
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A good place to shop. But not having your walker does not make you healthy. It just (maybe) makes you look healthy.
That is my problem. On the outside I look healthy, but inside my body is my disability. Some people give me dirty looks for using a handicapped parking space, or a handicapped washroom stall. They have no idea that handicaps can be invisible. But such is the nature of being human. Judge on appearances. If one looks healthy, then they must be healthy. And so it goes…
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Hi Tawgod. Yes people do judge on looks. Also people take it on themselves to be authorities they are not and do not have the training for. Some think their job is to police others or try to force others to live by their church doctrines. Live and let live is a good motto I wish these people would learn. If it is not harming them or hurting others than it is not their business snd I feel they should ignore it or keep their opinions to themselves. If those people cross the line and cause harm to others then I feel good decent people need to step in to help the one harmed or hurt. Hugs
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I tried to interfere between
a boxer and a black lab one day. I still have the scars to prove it.
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Damn Jerry I am sorry to hear that. You tried to do the correct thing and suffered for it. Yet you have the knowledge that you did what you could. I would bet you would do it again if needed. Hugs
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