Woke Bitches Win Gold. MAGA Losers? Still Losers.

Cope and seethe forever.

Evan Hurst

God, Team USA is amazing.

“They hate to see two woke bitches winning,” said US figure skater Amber Glenn, who got death threats from America’s least important humans when she dared speak her mind about the vile regime running the United States right now.

The word I want you to keep in mind for this entire post is winning, because winning is the word that differentiates Olympians from the vile MAGA pieces of shit who have spent over a week now BITCHING and MOANING and CRYING and COMPLAINING and BELLYACHING and WHINING and WHINING and WHINING, all because a number of our finest athletes have met their Olympic moments by saying Hey, you know what? I’m proud to be here, but it’s not that easy right now to embrace everything this flag currently represents.

They’re already winners because they’re there, every one of them.

And every MAGA American is an absolute fucking loser.

Not long after I started The Moral High Ground, the Paris Olympics happened. During those games the MAGA freakout was over the absolutely wonderful opening ceremonies, which totally murdered white American conservative Christian culture by … we forget how, but we’re pretty sure they still bear the scars of that sexy-ass French opening ceremony with the heavy metal and the gender fludity and the joie de vivre. This month, these whining fucking losers have gotten their culture destroyed by Bad Bunny’s flagrant Spanish-speaking behavior at the Super Bowl, and of course by all these Olympians out here, accomplishing things and some of them not even tonguing Donald Trump’s asshole like a good little obedient Nazis!

MAGA goes into these situations already mad, if you haven’t noticed. They go into every situation already mad, because despite all the years they’ve spent bitching about cancel culture and snowflake liberals needing their safe spaces, the reality is that MAGA Americans are the softest, most pathetic clumps of human detritus ever to waste our fucking time making us listen to their grievances.

Shut Up And Sing/Dance/Skate/Ski!

It is the damnedest thing.

There is this pathological tendency among MAGA Americans to be simultaneously the least valuable players of the entire human race, yet still manage to believe everybody who does things they can’t do is on this earth solely to entertain them. That there’s some unspoken tradeoff wherein God gave all these other people musical brilliance or athletic prowess or [name skill or talent here], therefore they shouldn’t be allowed to have opinions, unless of course those opinions conform with the dominant beliefs of the … least valuable players of the entire human race.

Which they seldom do.

Because winners don’t tend to look at the world the same way losers do.

They’re not eaten up by the same fears, the xenophobia, the hatred, the resentment. They’re not susceptible to politicians who tell them to blame all their problems on people who look different from them, or who are less fortunate.

They’re too busy putting in the work, and then winning. Or putting in the work and coming in second or fourth or really fucking it up, but developing the discipline and the heart to dust themselves off, perhaps heal, and then try again. (My God, bless Lindsey Vonn’s heart.)

I said it during the last Olympics, but it bears repeating that even when MAGA culture wars manage to get close to a place of excellence, it’s remarkable how far from the actual winner’s podium they happen.

(Why is Riley Gaines one of MAGA’s athletic heroes? Because she’s a fucking loser. Maybe if she had been a stronger swimmer she could have taken a better path in life.)

(snip; Substack Note embed that didn’t)

But enough about Riley Gaines, let’s talk more about Olympians!

These Team USA athletes have shown us these past two weeks how they are heroes in their disciplines, but also a number of them by truly representing the best of the USA, speaking calmly, humbly, compassionately, bravely about what it feels like to be competing under the American flag right now, as the nation that’s often been considered the hope of the world is struggling and buckling under a white supremacist, fascist, neo-Nazi regime that seeks to destroy it.

US freestyle skier Hunter Hess said wearing the American flag doesn’t necessarily mean supporting everything that’s happening in the US right now, and that “it brings up mixed emotions.” He continued: “There’s obviously a lot going on that I’m not the biggest fan of, and I think a lot of people aren’t,” and “I just think, if it aligns with my moral values I think I’m representing it.”

Another skier, Chris Lillis: “I feel heartbroken about what’s happening in the United States. I think that as a country we need to focus on respecting everybody’s rights and making sure that we are treating our citizens as well as anybody with love and respect.”

Amber Glenn: “It’s been a hard time for the [LGBTQ] community overall in this administration. It isn’t the first time that we’ve had to come together as a community and try and fight for our human rights.…I hope I can use my platform and my voice throughout these Games to try and encourage people to stay strong in these hard times.”

Rich Ruohonen, Minnesotan, curling team:

“First of all, I’d like to say I’m proud to be here to represent Team USA, and to represent our country,” Ruohonen began his statement. “But we’d be remiss if we didn’t mention what’s going on in Minnesota, and what a tough time it’s been for everybody. This stuff is happening right around where we live.

“I am a lawyer as you know, and we have a Constitution, and it allows us freedom of the press, freedom of speech, protects us from unreasonable searches and seizures, and makes it that we have to have probable cause to be pulled over. What’s happening in Minnesota is wrong — there’s no shades of grey. It’s clear.”

You’re either with the Nazis or you’re against them. Period.

For speaking out, these Olympians, some of the real champions of this country, have been bullied, abused, received death threats. Amber Glenn has gotten it some of the worst, because MAGA trash always beats up women the hardest. She had to step off social media because of a “scary amount of hate/threats,” but even as the hate messages were rolling in — you know, while she was busy doing something worthwhile with her life — she said, “I know that a lot of people say you’re just an athlete, like, stick to your job, shut up about politics, but politics affect us all. It is something I will not just be quiet about.”

And then “They hate to see woke bitches winning,” she said on TikTok, posing with Alysa Liu and their team gold figure skating medals.

But my God, how the histrionics have flowed forth from MAGA!

The New York Post can’t fucking stop whining. Wrote their editorial board, “If you don’t want to represent your country, stay home from the Olympics. That’s the message that ungrateful athletes need to hear, after they tore into America in front of the international press.”

Ungrateful athletes. Ungrateful to whom, please, bitchass MAGA losers?

In another article, they outsourced the whining to MAGA nobodies and zeroes on the internet:

“This privileged athlete’s comments clearly show that he puts himself far above his country in this competition,” one user on X wrote. “His comments are an insult to Team USA and the spirit of the Olympics.”

“When you wear the Stars and Stripes, you represent ALL of us — not just the parts you like,” another commenter wrote.

“’Mixed emotions?’ Then stay home and let someone who loves this country shine.”

Another fumed that Hess’ “whole purpose in being there is to REPRESENT the USA,” adding that if he has mixed feelings, “there are other skiers that would love to be there.”

But other skiers didn’t make the cut, and guess who else didn’t? Literally every MAGA trash American punching out mad tweets with their diabetes fingers.

Of course, MAGA’s professional whiners, its elected politicians and pundits, have been doing everything they can to goose the culture war outrage for their little piggies.

“YOU chose to wear our flag. YOU chose to represent our country. YOU chose to compete at the @Olympics,” [Rep. Byron] Donalds (R-Fla.) wrote on X. “If that’s too hard for you, then GO HOME. Some things are bigger than politics. You just don’t get it.”

GOP Senator Rick Scott wants athletes caught expressing wrongthink to be “stripped of their USA Olympic uniform.” JD Vance said some shit but we couldn’t hear it over all the people booing him everywhere he went in Milan.

“Shut up and go play in the snow,” said GOP Rep. Tim Burchett, perhaps easily the stupidest member of Congress, at least on the House side. (Can’t definitively call him the stupidest in the whole building, not while Tommy Tuberville and Ron Johnson are still in the Senate.) He was mad about Hunter Hess’s remarks.

And of course, Stupid Hitler, 2016 election popular vote loser, 2020 total election loser, and 2024 couldn’t-even-get-50-percenter, called Hess a “total loser,” lied and said Hess said he “doesn’t represent his Country in the current Winter Olympics,” and whined that he “shouldn’t have tried out for the team.”

Madame Miserable Megyn Kelly referred to Amber Glenn as “another turncoat to root against” on Twitter.

Raymond Arroyo, the little circus-cast-member-looking MAGA milquetoast who goes on Laura Ingraham to say Black guys love Trump because of how they love sneakers and mugshots, told Laura it’s “borderline treason” what Hess said. (He was also really upset that British skier Gus Kenworthy peed in the snow and spelled out “FUCK ICE.”)

Jesse Kelly: “I’m openly rooting against every one of these people. I hope they fall and embarrass themselves and come in dead last. Man, sports sucks now.” So very upset and angry.

Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy’s daughter Evita Duffy-Alonso: “I don’t know why we don’t start vetting these Olympians before they actually start to represent us overseas for their patriotism.”

Sure, Jan.

There is just no shortage of sad, whining, butthurt comments from these brokedicks, messages of hate from America’s Nothings to America’s Somethings, MAGA Cletuses and Karens whose grandchildren don’t call them on Christmas, but who yet sincerely believe they’ve got something valuable to say to our very finest Olympians. My God.

Here are two more, then I will stop giving these creeps airtime:

“I’d rather us lose with patriots, than win with traitors.”

“Hey kid, you’re not doing this Country a ‘favor’ by repping us. In fact, by doing what you’ve done… you’re NOT representing us. Take the uniform off. We don’t need ya.”

We don’t need them … for what? Do these people think they’re in some kind of relationship with America’s Olympians? Bless their hearts.

Notice, please, how these human fistulas all seem to think Olympians are there to serve them, to entertain them. All these mouthbreathers, incels and shut-ins, whining on Twitter and on Fox News that these winners refuse to represent them personally.

As if these nutsacks and walking participation trophies pounding out their messages with Cheeto dust on their scaly hands are somehow characters in our Olympians’ stories? LOL.

Here’s a cold hard truth:

They don’t represent you, MAGA, not really. Because they’re winners, and you’re fucking losers.

They’re winners, and you’re stupid, inbred cows, the absolute worst this country has to offer, the most rancid shit that ever lab-leaked out of the back entrance of God’s imagination factory while His little elves were out on a smoke break.

Sure, they technically compete under the same flag these dorks are always humping with their erections whenever that Lee Greenwood song comes on, but that’s about the extent of the connection.

Because they’re winners, and MAGA are fucking losers.

Lord, the New York Post was even forced to admit that in one of its pathetic articles, that Hess has been all over winners’ podiums at the World Cup and the X Games. That Lillis won gold in 2022 in Beijing. That Glenn is the reigning and three-time US figure skating champion.

Whining that these winners should be pulled from the team? Pffffffft. What, so some kind of 176th-place MAGA athletes can take their places? They think these woke Olympians are taking jobs MAGA would get otherwise?

Maybe Secretary Shitfaced Hegseth can teach them some of his Sit And Be Fit kettlebell swings to get their training started.

Whine whine whine whine whine whine whine. That’s all we ever hear from these people.

And to make a picky point here, but no, pedophile-loving MAGA piss troughs, these athletes don’t hate their country. They hate what these MAGA fascists are doing to their country, as they’re trying to seize permanent power and turn the United States into a shithole that only reflects MAGA’s darkest and most perverted shortcomings, and yanks us all away from the light we’re striving for. They hate MAGA’s vile, inferior vision for a United States that’s nothing but a humping blanket all their most pathetic fucking fears, weakness, grievances and hatred, and a vehicle for retribution against all those who don’t have to live that way because they aren’t total fucking losers like MAGA.

So yeah, I guess Olympians really aren’t competing for the MAGA version of America that’s drenched in the piss-stench of failure. Reckon most of ‘em are too nice to say that, though.

One final thing: As Parker Molloy notes, what these Olympians have said is actually pretty tame, comparatively, and you can really see how far the fascism has encroached comparing this year’s statements to past years under Trump. An example is 2017 Lindsey Vonn, who said “absolutely not” to the prospect of visiting Trump’s White House. What about just before these Olympics? “I’m not going to answer that question because, I’m just not going to answer it,” she said. “I want to keep my passport.” Unfortunately not a crazy thing to say.

I am of course sure MAGA is thrilled at how these Olympics have gone for Vonn.

That said, I do think it’s swinging back the other direction. I think six months ago, nine months ago, these athletes might not even have said the things they’ve said. But then ICE started cold-blooded murdering Americans in the streets and building concentration camps and the Epstein Files just kept leaking out and the fascists are trying to ban James Talarico from saying words on Stephen Colbert, and, and, and.

People are fucking pissed. And I think decent Americans have gotten their groove back, and are much more full of the sense these days that we are going to win.

Speaking of winning:

And Then Last Night!

If you saw the women’s free skate on Thursday, you already know. If you didn’t, LA LA LA LA LA SPOILERS.

After one painfully unfortunate mistake in Amber Glenn’s short program — which waddling MAGA spectators also celebrated — she was pretty much out of medal contention in 13th place, but came back to have the free skate of her absolute life, and climbed all the way to fifth in the final standings.

And then it was Alysa Liu’s turn. She was third after the short program, but she just … did something incredible. She skated to “MacArthur Park,” and she just floated and bounced across that ice like she didn’t have a care in the world. She was flawless. You knew you were seeing something special, the way the commentators just shut. up.

More than anything it was so fun. This woman, my God she is cool.

“THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN’ ABOUT!” Liu shouted as she came off the ice. [It has been pointed out in the comments that she actually said “That’s what I’m FUCKIN’ talking about!” and that it was censored in subsequent broadcasts. This makes Liu even cooler. – Ed.] She won the US’s first women’s individual figure skating medal since 2006, the first American gold since Sarah Hughes in 2002.

Two winners.

Oh yeah, and again, the American skaters won the team gold. Which includes Amber Glenn.

“They hate to see two woke bitches winning.”

Fuck yes they do.

Cope forever, losers.