I am trying to keep doing today. I have 35 open tabs on the other window, 8 on this one. I am not doing well, both physically and mentally. Ron keeps trying to comfort me, but even that seems not to help. He recommended I try to watch a movie or go to bed, but I think I would tear out of my own skin if I did not try to keep doing what I do.
Earlier at noon I was in such pain every bone in my body seemed to be screaming at me, every muscle seemed to be spasming and causing pain. In the morning, I had done the dishes and did not seem so uncomfortable, but an hour later the hard rain set in, and It changed everything, including my mood.
Recently we had changes in the home. I will be getting my original first office back. It is a room about 10 feet long by 11 feet wide. Ron originally took me out of that room because it was too dark for me during a time when my depression was very bad. He rebuilt the entire front room of the house, colored and decorated it to make it the best for me. I loved it.
When James moved back home, I was going to give up that large open bright room for him to have as his room as he liked it. I was to move into the new family room Ron had built, but the space I was going to move to was much smaller and was totally open with no privacy. But it was the best for everyone.
Then hurricane Ian ripped our home open. It tore my office half open, pealing the roof half off like a can opener with a mean streak, and the neighbors roofs hit our house with the result of pulling the entire south wall of the room out. That was when I was moved into the living room / kitchen. It is cramped, and I have to always wear headphones which hurt my ears when anyone is home or James was sleeping in the room I had originally had as my office, which was now his bedroom. Plus I am unable to do videos which I love and want to do. I really want to do videos. I know some of the people who come here are hearing impaired and I will do what I can but as I have said before typing is painful for me.
The roof and walls have been repaired in the front room. Short story Ron and James rebuilt the wall, fixed anything wrong with the other walls due to water damage, and replaced the first roof, and ran the electric. (we had an AMS metal roof over everything) and it was great going through two decades of hurricanes with no problem, and they are going to replace the entire roof over the home / all attached structures for $15,000. It is worth it, first the roof had a lifetime repair for free on it, and we have had them come fix minor things over the years. James and his friend even moved the hot tub from that room to the new family room Ron built.
James was to move into the rebuilt room as his, but he has other opportunities open to him now. We fully support him and are very glad he is happy. But that left the room he was in which was my first office, and the rebuilt front room which was my last office I was in before the hurricane open. What to do?
After going back and forth, Ron was convinced to use the much larger front room as the house living room, his domain. It took a lot of work on my part, he was all for returning me to that room. I would move back into the smaller room again, it is 10 foot by 11 foot, with some inches on each side. I have a reason for this. Hold on!
When Ron and I bought this house we were very much into the community, we had a lot of friends. Twice or three times or even more a week we had people over to the house for meals or game nights. But Ron was working 12 hour shifts and I am disabled. It was fun and we loved it, but I decided to try to return to the work force. A huge mistake. As anyone who followed my first blog knows, that put me in the hospital after 4 years and cost me my left hip joint.
Ron has since retired and things are different now, and there are still some non-maga people here. Ron and I feel it is time to return to the community again and start to have people over. But we have to have a home presentable for that.
After much medication and time my pain has subsided as has the horrible hard rain with clear skies and lots of sun. Ron has described to me how he wants to make the room brighter and more me. He is wanting to paint it and even have a new skylight put in when the roofing company does the roof.
It is now 7 or more hours since I started this post. I am now have eaten a really good supper Ron has made, I was folding laundry but yes I offered to help. He made a stir-fry of thin beef with veggies, and instead of rice he cubed fresh potatoes / deep-fried them. I am stuffed, and ready to go to bed.
I am not even sure I want to post this. As so often on personal issue posts, so much goes by that I don’t feel or have the issues that I had at the start. Yet it was what I was going through, and may / will go through soon again. So I feel I should share it with the readers / followers.
And just as I wrote this I started moving around after eating at my desk, getting food for Odie and putting it on a plate, then on the floor. My back screamed in pain. I gasped and Ron caught it, he asked me to go lay down or go to bed. He offered to come down and massage those muscles. So I will proofread this, leave the other window with 35 open tabs for another day. So much to read and post every day and now I am checking out early. Oh well, Ron is hovering over me really wanting me to close these computers down. So no real proofread, loves, hugs and all of that.
Oh I had to cancel my pulmonary test, they called today the day before with my costs, it was far too much. The woman on the phone admitted to me it was because my provider who ordered it referred it to be done at the hospital which he was in the same system as, which is much more expensive. So now I have to decided what to do? Hugs and good night. Ron won’t wait, I am on a timeline. Night. Hugs
So here is the photo I quickly took as Ron had taken the heavy stuff he wouldn’t let me handle out, and after I set up the fan. It will be grand to get our room back. But still we have to reapply to FEMA to pay for all the bids we finally got, but now FEMA has closed our account since it has been this long. We have to now start a new account, get a new inspection and hope we get enough money for the 30 grand in home repairs we need after the Hurricane. Hugs
Scottie's Playtime 