Hypocrites. Another fundamentalist ideological right anti-LGBTQIA group caught harboring some members who engage in same-sex relationships while decrying them vehemently. Hugs
Religion News Service reports:
A former vice president of the American Family Association, a Mississippi-based conservative group that promotes “the biblical ethic of decency in American society,” has sued the religious-right group, accusing leaders of firing him after he reported alleged sexual harassment and financial irregularities.
In a complaint filed Tuesday (Sept. 5), Robert Chambers [photo], former vice president of policy and legislative affairs for AFA from 2015 to 2022, alleges that another staffer, Ron Cook, made repeated sexual advances toward him, beginning in January of 2022.
Those advances allegedly included grabbing hold of Chambers’ face and ear and making comments about masturbation, according to the complaint. “I see you’re really good with that wrist action,” the complaint alleges that Cook told Chambers. “You’d really like me to take you and get a hold of you.”
Read the full article. Chambers says that he was fired for reporting the harassment. The firing reportedly came after the daughter of AFA president Tim Wildmon allegedly told others that she’d had a dream in which Chambers kissed her infant child on the lips and that she was afraid to have her children around him.
As a reminder, the AFA is arguably the nation’s largest and most powerful anti-LGBTQ hate group with tens of millions in annual revenue. The AFA is the parent organization of One Million Moms. In the 2016 video below, the alleged victim blames criticism of anti-LGBTQ laws on Satan.
Chambers last appeared on JMG in 2021 when he joined the attack on RNC chair Ronna McDaniel for a proposed partnership with the Log Cabin Republicans.
A former VP at the AFA say another male staffer groped him and sexually harassed him. He alleges that leaders of the group, which promotes "biblical morality" looked the other way then fired him when he complainedhttps://t.co/YuIHVIZ0fS
Four hundred years ago she’d have had a successful career in the Jacobean witch trial industry pointing her fingers at innocent people and screeching “Witch!!!!”
I, for one, am shocked — SHOCKED!! — that one of the nation’s most virulently homophobic organizations is a seething HOTBED of repressed and handsy homothexuals!
So Wildmon’s daughter has a dream about this dude kissing her child and he gets fired. Meanwhile Josh Duggar was fingering his sisters over the course of multiple years and had a phone chock full of kid porn and he’s a superstar.
It’s like the Land that Time Forgot. He’s talking about Satan as a real entity, an actor in everyday affairs. This is pure creepy. No one talks like that. It’s juvenile, from the mouth of a simpleton. I have no idea what the hell this is all about, I just switched on that clip above and fell through the rift in the space -time continuum.
That was my impression, as well. They talk about satan as if it’s a thing everyone accepts as real and true, and not a figment of bronze age (or earlier), illiterate shepherds who had to have something to explain why bad things happen in the world. It’s inconceivable to them that anyone would not have the same view.
Please tell me again how teachers are groomers? Please tell me how books and movies with LGBTQIA characters are sexualizing lids? This guy is showing drawings of a penis complete with hairy balls and sperm droplets labeled my kids, to 12 or 13 year old kids and had to break the rules / laws to get his truck as close to them as possible. Think about this, a teacher can not have a rainbow sticker in the classroom or on the door because of these people, yet this upstanding member of the Republican Party who was a GOP leader can not only show kids dick drawings but take their pictures next to it! WTF. It is a game to these people, they don’t believe it in any way harms kids, in fact they support little girls being forced to marry older men and be forced to have babies. It is all about enraging the base and removing the LGBTQIA from the public, from society. Hugs
Ron Hedlund displayed a massive penis sign with the words, “Biden Sucks” written across it at a youth baseball game at RF&P Park in Henrico County, Virginia.
In a video captured at the event, Hedlund, who is listed as a Virginia GOP Central Committee Representative defended his sign after a community member said it was inappropriate because there were children present.
The man also had a “Fuck Biden” inflatable “air dancer” sign in the back of his pick up truck parked near the field. Hedlund celebrated and posted videos of teenage boys taking selfies with his massive penis sign at the park.
Capitol Police detain two men at the Virginia War Memorial’s Veterans Day ceremony in Richmond. On Nov. 11 after 11 a.m. when the ceremony began, officers noticed a man driving over a sidewalk and around barricades on 2nd Street.
The driver then stopped at the base of the amphitheater, which was blocked off due to the ceremony, with a ‘F*** Biden’ sign in the bed of his truck.
Police say the sign was ‘highly visible’ to the crowd at the ceremony. Members of the Capitol Police approached him and asked him to move. The man was identified as Ronald Hedlund, 60, of Glen Allen. Hedlund refused to move.
Hedlund, who also goes by “Ron Benghazi,” has a YouTube channel full of confrontations with the police. And of course, he has a money beg on the Christian site GiveSendGo:
Living in a free society comes with much responsibility and blood, sweat and tears. It also may involve numerous legal battles as corrupt local governments seek to usurp our rights many take for granted. I have been unlawfully arrested at the Virginia Capitol.
That charge was dropped after hiring an attorney for $2500. I have been charged with loitering and that charge was dropped, as well, after representing myself. Currently, I have been served a Protective Order that required hiring an attorney at $1500 and resulted in a 2 year Permanent Protective Order.
I now find myself needing another $2500 to appeal this travesty of justice whereby I will lose all my firearms for a period of two years unless I am able to overturn this legally unsupported Order. This Order is the result of citizens legally exercising our First and Second Amendement rights on public property in spite of objections of the Henrico County Manager.
Virginia GOP Official Displays 16 Foot Penis Sign at Youth Baseball Game to Protest Wokehttps://t.co/ZaOw9rtn9S
Used in a sentence: "Virginia GOP Central Committee Representative, Ron Hedlund, has teenage boys hold a sign of a giant penis at a youth baseball game. Ron is a text book definition of a groomer." pic.twitter.com/xmtatcMznO
Does the penis at the ballfield bother you, or no, it's okay b/c that book exists? It was also at a playground and other places around town. This is a Virginia GOP Rep doing this. pic.twitter.com/hJx6IjTaAf
We saw nothing on the local news either. BlueVirginia labels them the Gross Old Perverts party – but if not for Bitecofer, Kristol, Meidas, it wouldn’t get covered. Crickets from the Gov. https://bluevirginia.us/202…
Please forgive me, This is not how I wanted to start this post. Earlier I had a great plan and took pictures, and was so happy I was kind of humming to my self. Then as I sat down to do this post when on the other computer screen came a video I shouldn’t have watched, I should have shut down. It was a news station report on two young boys fostered (me adopted) and the physical abuse they suffered. They suffered no sexual abuse, but the descriptions of the physical abuse sent all my former great happy thoughts fleeing as I totally understood their thoughts they might die and their struggles with the pain inflicted on them, I started to cry and shake and then damn it the vortex came. It howled and tried to consume me, I floundered looking for something some handle, anything in my mind to grab so it wouldn’t take me and I could with stand it. Fight it off.
I put music on the other computer, wiping off the abuse video, I have no idea the songs I can not think on them. The screen says the best soft rock of the 70s,80s,90s. But I am calming down, remembering what I wanted to post, the great idea I have. I must stop sobbing, Ron must not come out and see me like this. Such a great day, great week, and yet …
By my dogs that love gravy I wonder how my heart, my body can take these sudden panics, the mental sounds of the vortex coming for me, my body’s desperate attempt to flee or just to curl up in a ball and let it happen. My heart rate is again down to 76. According to my Apple Watch that monitors it, my heart rate went to 158. Anyway. I am calm enough to do the post I wanted to do. But damn, I need to be more careful on the news I see coming across the many web feeds. But I did not select the video, I was watching a new channel on the fires in Hawaii.
I want to just add that I was one step from activating the emergency Scottie needs help signal. That is to Randy. For those that never followed my old blog I had a breakdown in 2014. I started self harming again and was trapped in my head by the vortex, reliving my childhood abuse. I won’t and sorry can not describe it, but Randy who was working long night shifts keep his phone on all the time, called me repeatedly if he did not hear from me, texted me, and took hours long phone calls from me desperately trying to stop the nightmares in my head from the memories. He went without sleep so many days just to be there for me. When I say Randy is the best brother ever, I mean it, and that is part of the reason why. It is not an exaggeration to say that after drawing a sharp knife or razor blade across my skin drawing blood instead of doing it again I would reach out to Randy instead. It got to where instead of the blades, I reached for him. Anyway those days are past now. For good I hope. Yet it still gets scary sometimes.
Ok Ron got up, kept asking me what was wrong, I denied anything was wrong and told him my allergies were acting up. He seemed like he was going to pursue it but then dropped it, and I am glad. I just don’t want to deal with all that now at this time. I am trying hard to let the past sink back in to the deep depths of the deepest part of the ocean in a chest wrapped in many layers of big chains, weighted down by as many happier thoughts as I can push against it.
Ok my head is clearing and I want to do the happy bread post I started to do. Hugs to all who want them. Scottie
00:00 Introduction 2:22 Sodom (Genesis 19) 7:48 (NEW) Sodom Additional Commentary 10:20 Romans1:26-27 16:00 Leviticus 18:22; 20:13 21:06 (NEW) Fourth theory on Leviticus 23:22 First Timothy 1:9-11 // First Corinthians 6:9-10 28:41 Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve
During the Fall of 2020, my college course on the “Theologies of Gender and Identity” was forced to go virtual. This video is one of the pre-recorded lectures from that course that I would like to share with a larger audience. Feel free to respectfully comment and question and I will respond in kind.
This lecture explores the traditional “texts of terror” or “clobber passages” that have been used to justify the marginalization of the LGBTQ people — namely Genesis 19 (Sodom); Romans 1:26-27; Leviticus 18:22; 20:13; 1 Timothy 1:9-11 // 1 Corinthians 6:9-10; and Genesis 1-2 (Adam and Eve). For each passage, we’ll apply exegetical tools to determine whether or not this marginalization is justified.
The format of this lecture features a compilation of previous videos from this channel’s Queer Theology series. Most of these videos have been updated and include an additional commentary in between each topic.
Recommended Reading: “Misguided Love: Christians and the Rupture of LGBTQI2+ People” by Charles Fensham; Chapter 4.
Oh clutch my pearls, classical literature is not as pure as today’s fundamentalist Christian nationalist who just don’t want their children to get an education but they demand the right to stop your child or anyone from getting one. This is not about parental control, it is about one minor fundamentalist religious group having complete control over the education of all the children in the entire state. But only for public schools. The schools paid for with tax dollars and that educate the lower incomes. The private schools do not have to follow these stupid bigoted rules. My dogs that love gravy, this has been a Christian Taliban moral police take over. Next girls will only be allowed to attend school until the 8th grade and must wear ankle length dresses, and everyone will be in drab colors. Hugs
School district officials in Hillsborough County, Fla., have implemented a newly designed curriculum guide for English teachers that will see students reading only selections from William Shakespeare plays.
“There’s some raunchiness in Shakespeare. Because that’s what sold tickets during his time,” said Joseph Cool, a reading teacher at Gaither High School.
“I think the rest of the nation — no, the world, is laughing us,” he added. “Taking Shakespeare in its entirety out because the relationship between Romeo and Juliet is somehow exploiting minors is just absurd.”
Schools in Hillsborough County, which includes Tampa Bay and the surrounding area, are mostly assigning excerpts by the English language’s most famous writer. The schools previously required students to read two of Shakespeare’s novels or plays, in their entirety, per year.
The decision comes as educators must prepare students for a new set of state exams that cover a wide variety of subject matter, and also, “in consideration of the law,” according to a school district spokesperson, which means teaching it could open educators up to disciplinary measures if a parent were to file a complaint.
The “law” in question is the new Parental Rights in Education Act, which prohibits teaching any content that is sexual in nature.
Florida high schools are now removing Shakespeare, including the full text of “Romeo and Juliet,” to comply with Republicans’ new law restricting “sexual content.”
“I think the rest of the nation — no, the world, is laughing at us,” a teacher said.
If your kids are go to school in Tampa, thanks to bigly failing @GovRonDeSantis, they will read Shakespeare "while avoiding anything racy or sexual," i.e. "excerpts" from "Romeo & Juliet," "Othello," "A Midsummer Night's Dream," "Macbeth" not full plays https://t.co/jETfpNm6Vy
[Jerusalem] saw this, yet she was more corrupt than [Samaria] in her lusting and in her prostitutions, which were worse than those of her sister. She lusted after the Assyrians, governors and commanders, warriors clothed in full armor, mounted horsemen, all of them handsome young men. And I saw that she was defiled; they both took the same way. But she carried her prostitutions further; she saw male figures carved on the wall, images of the Chaldeans portrayed in vermilion, with belts around their waists, with flowing turbans on their heads, all of them looking like officers—a picture of Babylonians whose native land was Chaldea. When she saw them she lusted after them and sent messengers to them in Chaldea. And the Babylonians came to her into the bed of love, and they defiled her with their lust, and after she defiled herself with them, she turned from them in disgust. When she carried on her prostitutions so openly and flaunted her nakedness, I turned in disgust from her, as I had turned from her sister. Yet she increased her prostitutions, remembering the days of her youth, when she prostituted herself in the land of Egypt and lusted after her paramours there, whose members were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of stallions. Thus you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when the Egyptians fondled your bosom and caressed your young breasts. – Ezekiel 23:11-2
It is happening in Sarasota County too: “Teachers offloading books in DeSantis’ Florida, resellers say,” Aug. 4.
I work in a Sarasota County thrift store. This summer, the store has received thousands of books from schools and classroom libraries. They are marked with the names of teachers or schools.
It is clear from the wide variety of titles that teachers work hard to help every student feel validated and included in a diverse classroom.
I literally cried in the store when I saw the titles: Newbery Award and Honor Books, the highest award a children’s book can receive from the American Library Association, no longer available to children in their schools. Most of the books depict characters from minority and vulnerable populations.
Reading novels with characters that face struggles the reader does not experience develops empathy for others. Perhaps our governor could read a few and develop a little empathy himself.
I feel sorry for all the youngsters in Florida who are being deprived of everything except a selective education which intentionally leaves gigantic holes in their curriculum.
Those who go off to college (esp. out of state) are going to find out they’re years behind their classmates.
Only the public schools. The elite private schools are not bound by the state curriculum and will be able to teach real history, literature, art, etc. Rhonda’s children go to private school.
The ones who are exceptionally smart will find a way to get educated. I’m concerned about the others. Not every child is going to be able to do what Tara Westover did.
Tonight, a judge ruled in favor of the 15 women who sued Texas after the state’s abortion ban put their health and lives at risk. Travis County District Judge Jessica Mangrum issued a temporary injunction that will stop the law from being enforced against doctors who provide abortions using “good faith judgement” that a pregnancy is unsafe for the pregnant person, or that a fetus is unlikely to survive.
Texas will definitely appeal; but for now, people in the state with dangerous or doomed pregnancies should be able to get care.
I am so grateful for the women who laid their pain bear in public for the chance to change this law just a little—but so distressed that they had to fight so hard to be given this bare minimum of humanity. It makes me feel a bit ill, to be honest, that these are the kinds of ‘wins’ we have to hope for.
The lawsuit, brought by the Center for Reproductive Rights, required women to relive the horrors they were forced to endure because of the state’s abortion ban. One woman, Samantha Casiano—who was forced to give birth despite the fact that her baby had anencephaly and was missing parts of her brain and skull—ended up vomiting while recounting her experience. She said that talking about what happened “just makes my body remember and it just reacts.”
Lawyers defending the state, meanwhile, were extraordinarily cruel. One attorney said, “Plaintiffs simply do not like Texas’ restrictions on abortion.” Another not only frequently interrupted as the women spoke about their experiences, she also asked each one individually if Attorney General Ken Paxton had personally denied them an abortion. Plaintiff Amanda Zurawski, who nearly died after being denied an abortion, said, “I survived sepsis and I don’t think today was much less traumatic than that.”
There is a reason Texas tried to stop these women from telling their stories: there is no arguing with their experiences, no turning away from the horror these laws have caused. As happy as I am for the people in Texas who might be able to get the care they need as a result of this decision, I keep thinking about Terry—the young woman I spoke to in June—and how this ruling came too late to help her:
An American Nightmare: Young, pregnant & living in Texas
Very interesting, wonderful calm delivery. Informative. Well reasoned with out a lot of science or medical jargon, just cutting through the bullshit. Towards the end she even addresses those that still claim gametes are the real determining factor of a persons sex. I enjoyed this. Hugs
TERFs say the LGBTQ community is harming women by erasing biological sex. But can they even agree on what biological sex IS?
Two teenagers in a marriage they did not want simply because they had sex and she got pregnant. They are unhappy, her schooling stopped, he was forced to join the military, and they are admitting they are not mature enough to get married or have children. It is a horrifying true tale that the fascist Christian fundamentalist insist must be the only way in an advanced country for kids that have sex. They had sex so it should screw up their entire life. She thought she went to a real clinic, but it was an anti-abortion setup that told her lies to convincer not to get an abortion. They have each talked divorce and I will bet good money in 7 or 8 years they will separate. He talks about how if it were not for the kids, she dropped out of school and she also talks if she had just had an abortion …
Warning when I copied the article it started video audio I couldn’t figure out how to stop. The original site did not have that audio.
Hugs
This is life two years later.
Deep Reads features The Washington Post’s best immersive reporting and narrative writing.
TAMPA — Brooke High was not ready to face her family. Sitting on the edge of her bed, hair dripping wet, the 19-year-old listened to her twin daughters cry in their high chairs on the other side of the door. One hurled what sounded like a plate. Then a bottle.
Her husband, Billy High, also 19, was supposed to be watching them. But Brooke could hear one of his TV shows playing on his phone.
She waited a few minutes, reminding herself of everything their marriage counselor had told her. Treat your partner as you would want to be treated. Soften your tone. Don’t yell.
She heard Billy finally take the girls out of their chairs. Then came a loud splash.
Brooke rushed toward the sound of her daughters, stepping over flecks of scrambled eggs and Pop-Tarts from the girls’ breakfast. One of the twins ran out of the bathroom, crying and drenched in toilet water.
“I told you to put the dishes in the dishwasher, and you stood here for 30 minutes,” Brooke said to Billy. “And then while you weren’t watching the girls they got into the damn toilet.”
“Are you going to give them a bath?” she said.
Brooke vacuums and Billy watches skateboarding videos as their daughters play at home in Tampa in June.
When Brooke met Billy at a skate park in Corpus Christi, Tex., in May 2021, she could not have predicted any piece of the life she was now living. She’d been gearing up for real estate school, enjoying long days at the beach with her new boyfriend. Then she found out she was three months pregnant. And because of a new law, she could no longer get an abortion in Texas. The closest clinic that could see her was in New Mexico, a 13-hour drive away.
She gave birth to Kendall and Olivia six months later.
Brooke, Billy and their baby girls appeared in a story in The Washington Post just days before Roe v. Wade was overturned last summer, thrusting the family into a polarized national debate and turning them into symbols they never imagined they’d become.
For many readers, Brooke and Billy’s story was a Rorschach test, with each side of the abortion debate claiming the teenagers’ experiences as validation of their own views. Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex.) called the story “powerfully pro-life.” Abortionrights advocates decried the Texas law that compelled an ambitious young woman to abandon her education and raise two kids on the $9.75 an hour her then-boyfriend made working at a burrito restaurant. People on both sides of the issue donated more than $80,000 to a GoFundMe account that Brooke created, providing a financial cushion the couple says has kept them out of debt.
At the center of the abortion debate is the question of how an unwanted pregnancy, carried to term, reverberates through the lives of those directly involved. The most prominent study on the subject, conducted by a pro-abortion-rights research group at the University of California at San Francisco, included interviews with nearly 1,000 women over the course of eight years. The study, which was published as a book in 2020, found that women who are denied abortions experience worse financial, health and family outcomes than those who are able to end their pregnancies.
Brooke’s future is still uncertain. After her daughters were born, she and Billy got married and moved into a two-bedroom apartment more than 1,000 miles away from South Texas, the only home they’d ever known.
If they didn’t have the babies, Brooke and Billy both concede that they probably wouldn’t still be together. Their teen romance would have flamed and faded, remembered by a few Instagram posts and the pink-wheeled skateboard Billy chose for Brooke at the skate shop by the bay.
Now, with two children, they are permanently linked.
Brooke and Billy play “rock paper scissors” to decide whose turn it is to change their girls’ diapers.The hours Billy spends playing video games are a point of contention for the couple.Billy and Brooke play with Kendall in their Tampa apartment as Olivia watches.Brooke stays at home with her daughters full time.
Brooke is proud of the decisions she and Billy have made for their family. Billyis now a mechanic for the Air Force, where he enlisted so he could secure a steady income for his family, while Brooke cares for the girls full time. The twins are healthy and happy, absorbed by weekly swim lessons and the bedtime stories Brooke and Billy read aloud every night. At their one-year checkup, Brooke swelled with pride when the doctor called her daughters “really smart.”
But standing in her kitchen one morning in late May, listening to Billy run the bath for the twins,Brooke also recognized how quickly it could all fall apart. She and Billy fought often — about the messes he left her to clean, the hours he spent playing video games — and she knew they couldn’t manage without his $60,000-a-year military salary. She’d dropped out of real estate school without another career plan in mind.
“It’s a little bit scary,” Brooke said. “Billy and I haven’t been together that long.”
She doesn’t understand why some antiabortion activists see them as the ultimate success story.
“It doesn’t make sense to me that we would be that shining example.” Their lives, she said, were “so imperfect.”
In their Tampa apartment,Brooke could hear Billy blowing kisses to Kendall and Oliviaas they sloshed around in the bathtub, shrieking in delight. It was one of the things she loved most about him: He could always make them laugh.
Brooke gave her husband a half-smile when he reappeared in the doorway — a small reminder, she hoped, that she was still the freckle-faced girl he’d fallen for, not just the angry mother always making demands.
Billy picked up his phone without looking at her.
After Billy graduated from basic training for the Air Force last summer, the family moved across the country in the fall for his new job at a Florida military base.
Brooke and Billy made the long journey from Texas to Tampajust after Thanksgiving last year. They packed everything they owned into a U-Haul and drove 18 hours toward the promise of a new life.
Brooke couldn’t imagine a better military assignment. Florida was blue skies and theme parks, long sandy beaches with turquoise waves — far from her mother’s judgment and the same roads she’d driven down thousands of times.
In the passenger seat, she tried to absorb the changing landscapes speeding past her window. The French spellings in Louisiana. A sign that welcomed her to “Sweet Home Alabama.” The towering pine trees she craned her neck to see as they finally crossed into Florida. In 19 years, Brooke had spent just one week outside Texas.
“We’re moving to Florida!” she or Billy would say out loud every few hours, flashing the other a big smile.
They were really leaving, she kept thinking to herself. Even with two babies, she’d made it out.
Four years reporting on people affected by abortion laws
Washington Post reporter Caroline Kitchener has covered abortion for more than four years. She spends a lot of her time traveling across the South, reporting from the states most affected by the fall of Roe v. Wade. In addition to her coverage of abortion-related laws and court cases, she strives to tell the stories of people at the center of it all.
Caroline has made three trips to see Brooke and Billy High in both Texas and Florida since she first met the couple in Corpus Christi in May 2022, following them as they went about their daily lives. She wrote a story about the couple and their twin daughters in June 2022.
Caroline kept in touch with Brooke over the following year. Readers would frequently ask for updates on the young parents — which prompted Caroline to continue her reporting.
1/3
End of carousel
For a few weeks, Tampa was bliss. Brooke made frequent trips to Target, happily selecting items to furnish their first home together — pots and silverware, a shower curtain covered in pink flowers. She felt that she was doing everything right as she chopped vegetables on her granite countertop, preparing a healthy meal for her family.
In the evenings, after Billy got home from the base, they’d sometimes take a picnic to a nearby soccer field, letting the girls run in circles while they lay on their backs and looked up at the sky.
“I love you,” she’d tell him at least once a day.
Billy would respond as he always had: “Love you more.”
Then, slowly, Brooke felt something shift between them. At first, she blamed a change in Billy’s schedule. He switched to working nights, leaving her alone with the babies from 2 p.m. until after 11.
Billy prepares for his shift as a mechanic, working on the KC-135 tanker.Billy checks to see if he needs to shave.Billy gets ready for work. He wasn’t excited to join the military but thought it was the only way he could provide for his family.Olivia and Kendall play with their father’s hat. “I felt more able to take care of them,” Billy said about getting his Air Force job.
Every time he walked out the door in his uniform, she felt crushed by the prospect of the next nine hours. The babies were too mobile to take them almost anywhere without help. At the playground, they would shoot off in different directions — Olivia clawing her way up the jungle gym stairs while Kendall teetered on the edge of the platform — and Brooke couldn’t be in two places at once.
Her life quickly started to feel like an endless cycle of tasks, entirely predictable and stretching out into infinity. Cook lunch. Clean up. Play with the girls. Put the girls down for a nap. Change diapers. Cook dinner. Clean up. Repeat.
To get through it, Brooke would play reruns of “Friends” on the TV in the background, comforted by the voices of characters she felt like she knew in a city where she knew almost no one. In her first twomonths in Tampa, she watched all 10 seasons.
Brooke missed her husband desperately, but as the weeks wore on, she worried he wasn’t missing her back. She tried to keep her texts casual — “hey, how’s your day?” — hoping he would respond with the validation she needed: “I miss you, baby” or “Just a few hours until we’re together again.” Instead, he’d dash off a quick “work’s good” or, “it’s fine.”
Once Billy got home, he was often too tired to talk.
Sometimes she would call her dad, Jeremy Alexander, for advice, worried about how Billy seemed to check out other girls. Just like Billy, Alexander had his first child, Brooke’s older brother, as an 18-year-old skater kid in Corpus.
“Look, boys are boys,” he said he would tell her. “Give him time to be a man.”
Brooke was eager to give her life structure — to put concrete plans on the calendar and break up the long days. She’d thought about going back to school, but it didn’t seem possible with the girls at home. She worried about leaving them with strangers — and they couldn’t afford day care anyway. The GoFundMe money, which they’d used in part to furnish their apartment and pay off Brooke’s car, was already running low.
Eventually, she posted a message on a Facebook group for local military wives.
“My name is Brooke and these are my twin daughters,” she wrote, attaching pictures of her and the girls. “We moved here in December and haven’t had any luck finding friends. If anybody would like to get coffee, workout, or have a play date please let me know!”
Brooke drives to meet a new friend for a walk in Tampa.Brooke stops to rest while out for a walk with her twins and her friend.Brooke knew almost no one in Tampa when her family first moved there. She eventually sought out friends through a Facebook group for military wives.Brooke pushes Kendall and Olivia in a stroller as she and her friend take a walk.
Until she arrived in Tampa, Brooke hadn’t fully appreciated how much support she had in Corpus Christi. They’d lived with Billy’s dad, and her mom was a 10-minute drive away. Someone was always around to watch Kendall and Olivia.
Brooke thought she and Billy needed time to reconnect — a few softly lit hours away from the babies, laughing with each other, lingering long after dessert.
She was thrilled when a new friend volunteered to babysit.
When Brooke arrived at her friend’shouse on the night of the date, she said, she noticed a few extra cars parked outside. Her friend’s husband opened the door with a bottle of tequila in his hand, a group of people drinking in the room behind him.
Brooke recalled handing over the girls, trying to focus on the night ahead. The deep conversation and the romance. She’d spentover an hour getting ready, pulling her hair back with a ribbon and donning the flowery sundress she’d worn the day they got married.
“I think they’re gonna be fine,” Billy recalled assuring her as they drove away.
But Brooke couldn’t shake the image of her baby girls plopped in an unfamiliar place, reaching for their mother.
“I’m just not okay with it,” she said she told him. “We have to turn around.”
Billy takes a break after struggling to land a skateboard trick. The marriage counselor he and Brooke were seeing encouraged each of them to take time for themselves.
Billy put his hands on his knees and looked down at the concrete quarter-pipe, the hot Florida sun beating down on his back.
He’d tried the same skateboard trick at least 30 times already, his phone perched on a nearby ledge, recording every failure.
“Commit or go home,” he said to himself in an empty skate park at 11 o’clock on a Sunday morning. “Commit, right here.”
But it was hard to commit without his friends around him, as they’d always been in Corpus. Sometimes he’d try to zero in on a stranger passing by. “This one’s for you,” he’d say under his breath, telling himself they were watching, even when he knew they weren’t.
Their marriage counselor had encouraged Billy and Brooke to take time for themselves — for him, a trip to the skate park; for her, an hour working out at the gym.
They’d started seeing the counselor in April, after one of their worst fights. And while Billy appreciated the counselor’s advice, he still felt a little guilty every time he came to the park. Especially in moments like this, struggling to land trickshe’d done before, he wondered whether skating was worth the extra hours away.
Back home, Billy had proudly counted himself among the Corpus Christi “park rats,” often heading to the skate park around noon with a tripod and a Tupperware of watermelon. His friends would scream his name when he pulled up in his car, coming over to talk through the tricks they might try together. When the skating was good, they’d stay for eight hours, leaving well after the sun went down.
Billy and Brooke met at a skate park in Corpus Christi, Tex., where they would spend days hanging out with a big group of friends.
Before he met Brooke two years ago, Billy had planned to live in Corpus forever, skating with his friends whenever they weren’t working. Then Brooke got pregnant.
At first, he wanted her to get an abortion. But he wasn’t going to push.
It was Billy’s idea to join the military. He wasn’t excited about it, but he couldn’t see another way to support a wife and twins. Everyone in his life — his parents, his favorite teacher — told him it was the right thing to do. So Billy committed, marrying Brooke at the courthouse last summer and signing an Air Force enlistment contract that would keep him in uniform for the next six years.
That was something he’d learned from skateboarding: You go for it, or you don’t.
Soon Billy was waking up to a loudspeaker at 5 a.m. at a basic-training camp in San Antonio, hustled out of bed with 43 other guys to do push-ups and run circles around a track. Every day he stood at attention, head shaved, right arm outstretched, for what felt like hours, waiting for an instructorto look him over from head to toe.
At night, Billy would lie in his cot and think of his girls back in Corpus Christi. Kendall and Olivia had just turned four months, old enough to wrap their tiny hands around his index finger. He would imagine Brooke’s blond curls, wishing he could get her advice on whatever he’d struggled with that day. His wife, he said, was one of the smartest people he knew.
“I miss you and our beautiful girls so much to the point that whenever I think of y’all, my eyes water or it feels like I need to cry,” he wrote in a letter after his first week of basic training. “I think about you every day and I wonder what you’re thinking of.”
Before he left to go back to Corpus, Billy got Kendall’s and Olivia’s names tattooed on his chest.
Billy adjusts a hand-painted skateboard with the twins’ names on it at home in Tampa.After several attempts, Billy completes a trick at a skate park in St. Petersburg, Fla.
Returning home in his military fatigues, he wasn’t the kid at the skate park anymore. He was the man ready to show his commitment.
“I felt more able to take care of them,” he said. “I felt like I could do anything if I wanted to.”
Six months into his life in Florida, Billy felt proud to flash his credentials at the base gates. As an airman first class, he spent hours every day burrowed deep inside his assigned plane — the KC-135 aerial refueling tanker — inspecting the electrical and hydraulic systems. After two months of technical school, he could help fix most problems and send the plane on its way. (Billy was careful to say that his views do not represent the Department of Defense.)
But as much as Billy appreciated his new job, there were moments when he allowed himself to imagine a different life. If he didn’t have kids, he might be sharing an apartment with a few friends from the skate park, he said, moving on from the burrito place to Walmart, where the pay was better. Skating every day. Partying at night. No worries.
Those thoughts usually surfaced after Brooke yelled at him. Sometimes Billy knew he deserved it — he acknowledged that he probably did play too many video games — but other times he really felt like he didn’t. They would fight about money, especially toward the end of the month when they had to dip into savings for groceries. Most often, he said, they would fight about the babies, with Brooke accusing him of not doing his fair share.
“Once you’re put under all that pressure, you don’t want to be there anymore,” Billy said.
Kendall eats a cookie at home.Kendall reaches for her father as he tries to clean her face after a meal.Brooke and Billy rest in bed while their girls nap.Billy puts his daughters down for a nap; he says he loves being a dad.
Some nights, he would go sit in his hot car, the lights and the engine turned off so Brooke couldn’t see him. There, he would consider the logistics of leaving, where the girls would go. To keep them with him, he’d have to switch to a day shift and figure out a way to pay for day care.
More likely, Brooke would take the girls back to Corpus. She would be miserable, he thought, probably living with her mom and resenting her lack of freedom, raising two babies alone.
And he would be without them.
Billy said he loved being a dad. He liked to lie on the floor of the girls’ room and feel the weight of his daughters as they climbed on his chest. When he threw them up in the air and caught them in his arms, they looked at him like he was the most important person in the world.
Kendall and Olivia made him feel good about himself and the choices he’d made. Walking through the aisles at the grocery store, tattooed arms holding two baby girls, he knew people were looking at him, impressed. He was proud of all the ways he defied their expectations.
After an hour at the empty skate park, Billy was ready to head home. His daughters met him at the door, holding up their arms for him to lift them up.
“Billy, will you put them to bed?” Brooke asked.
Of all the chores in his new life, this was one of his favorites.
One at a time, he held his daughters to his chest, kissed them on the cheek and laid them down.
Brooke goes underwater for a moment at a pool. She often thinks others are judging her when she’s out with her daughters.
When Brooke arrived for the girls’ weekly swim lesson, the other mothers were already in the pool. No matter how much extra time she allotted, somehow she and Billy were always late.
“I’m so sorry,” Brooke said, holding Olivia as she lowered herself into four feet of tepid water.
Brooke nodded vigorously as the swim coach rehashed the first round of instructions, eager to do exactly as she was told. She was acutely aware of the three other moms in black one-pieces, who all looked around 30. Between activities, they would chat among themselves, discussing their favorite jewelry stores and the habits of their doctor husbands.
Brooke wanted to impress them — to prove to them that the 19-year-old in a white bikini was actually a great mom.
While Billy had grown accustomed to approving smiles, Brooke knew to expect judgment everywhere she went. Receptionists whispered to each other when she walked in for medical appointments, wide eyes shifting from her to the twins. She’d always wonder whether they could tell how young she was, if they somehow knew she dropped out of high school.
Even her own mother, who helped convince her to have the babies, still seemed to judge the way Brooke was raising them, Brooke said. When they spoke on FaceTime, her mom would sometimes criticize the clothes Brooke chose for them or the way she did their hair.
Just once, Brooke wished she could be brave enough to say out loud the words she rehearsed when she was alone:
“Regardless of how I look, I’m f—ing doing it. So think whatever the f— you want.”
Brooke’s mother, Terri Thomas, said she is “very proud” of Brooke and Billy.
“They are doing an amazing job as parents and as young adults,” she wrote in a text message.
Brooke was determined to do a better job than her own parents, who she said sometimes left her to care for herself.Her dad gave her a cellphone at age 10, she and her father recalled, allowing her to hole up in her room for hours, staring at a screen. Soon after that, she said, she got a Facebook message from a much older guy who seemed friendly. A few days later, when he asked for a naked picture, Brooke sent him one.
“I’ll never forget about that,” she said. “I saw a lot of things I shouldn’t have seen, things I never want them to see.”
More than almost anything else from her childhood, Brooke said, she remembered the arguments — people throwing things through windows and punching walls. Someone was always yelling.
Brooke and Billy go swimming with Kendall and Olivia in Tampa.At the end of basic training for the Air Force, Billy got his daughters’ names tattooed on his chest.One thing Brooke says she wants for her girls: parents who stay together.
As she watched the girls sleep, Brooke would think through the promises she’d made to them. Kendall and Olivia would always feel safe in their own home. They would wake up every day and know, without a doubt, how much they were loved.
But there were other things Brooke wanted for her daughters that she could not control or guarantee. At the top of the list: two parents who loved each other — or, at the very least, parents who stayed together.
Brooke still thought about the night, back in March, when Billy suggested they split up.
The fight had started at the beach, when Brooke saw Billy’s eyes lingering on a girl in a bikini. He denied looking at the girl, promising he wasn’t interested in anyone else — which just made Brooke angrier.
“You’re not going to gaslight me when I saw you doing it,” Brooke remembered saying as they drove home, twins in the back seat.
Brooke had worried about other girls ever since they got together. Anxious about losing Billy, she fixated on every pretty girl he knew from work or messaged on Snapchat. Especially now that she and her daughters relied on him completely, her deepest fear was that he might find someone he liked better.
Back at their apartment, Brooke wasn’t interested in hearing Billy’s apologies.
“I don’t want to see you,” she remembered saying. “I don’t want to sleep next to you.”
Then Billy came right out with it: “I think we should get a divorce.”
They both froze as soon as he said it, they each recalled, absorbing the shock of hearing something they’d both privately considered but assumed they’d never say out loud.
“How is that even an option at this point?” Brooke said. “Where am I going to go? What’s going to happen to us?”
Billy got quiet, then left to go sit in his car.
Billy does a backflip as he and Brooke play with Kendall and Olivia at a playground in Tampa.
Brooke and Billy rarely think about the new laws that led them to this moment. Even on June 24, the first anniversary of the Supreme Court ruling that overturned Roe v. Wade, the abortion issue was just a passing thought.
“If I see it on the news, I’m like, ‘Yeah, that’s why I have two kids today,’” Billy said. “I think that for like a split second, then I move on.”
“Me too,” Brooke said. “I don’t really dwell on it.”
“If you’re not planning on having a kid,” Billy said, “abortion is much cheaper than raising people.” The new laws, he added, “create not a good situation to be in.”
But then he thought about Kendall and Olivia, and shook his head.
“I don’t know,” he said. “I’m tired.”
In the almost two years since Brooke and Billy ran up against the Texas abortion law — a novel statute that circumvented Roe months before it was overturned — more than a dozenother states have halted all or most abortions. The Texas law, which banned the procedure after about six weeks of pregnancy, has likely resulted in at least 9,000 extra live births, according to a recent study, making Brooke and Billy an early example of a family compelled into existence by an abortion ban. It’s too early to know how many babies were born becauseof the fall of Roe.
Back in August 2021, Brooke called an abortion clinic as soon as she found out she was pregnant. But it had no open slots, overwhelmed with patients racing to end their pregnancies before the new law took effect less than 48 hours later. Instead, Brooke got an ultrasound at a local crisis pregnancy center, not knowing that it was an antiabortion organization. There, employees told her she was 12 weeks along — far enough into her pregnancy, they said, that the babies had“heartbeats.”
She decided not to make the drive to New Mexico.
Now, at home in Tampa, Brooke stared at the wall, clutching a pillow to her chest.
“If I would have had the abortion …”
She stopped.
“I can’t even think of it that way now,” she said. “Those are our babies, and they’re people.”
Still, Brooke said, she felt sick thinking of all the young girls forced to carry pregnancies they didn’t want.
“If you really didn’t want something, and then you’re forced to go through with it … it’s still really very hard,” she said.
Kendall and Olivia run around at the playground.Brooke plays with her daughters.Billy has started to talk about having a son. Brooke says she wants to first make sure their relationship is strong.
Lately, Billy had started to talk about having a son. He wanted a little boy he could teach to change a tire, he said — a sidekick for what he called “boy things.”
When Brooke thought about it, sometimes the idea of another kid didn’t seem so crazy.
After their fight in March, Brooke and Billy had started weekly marriage counseling sessions. With the girls asleep in the next room, they’d sit in bed and FaceTime with the counselor, Brooke’s phone propped up on a plastic bin.
The counselor offered concrete suggestions for how to work through their conflict and move forward. Billy should try to be more communicative; Brooke, more trusting.
The sessions seemed to be helping, Brooke said. She and Billy were talking more, laying plans for their future. They would live in a blue house with a white fence one day, they’d recently decided — with a porch swing and a skate ramp in the backyard. The twins would follow their dad outside with pink skateboards and matching pink helmets.
But it was too early to be sure of any of that. Before Brooke brought another child into their family, she said, she needed to know their foundation was strong.
As soon as the girls were born, she’d gone to her doctor to get an IUD.
She had no plans to remove it.
Brooke listens on a call with a career coach at home in Tampa.
Brooke sat cross-legged on her bed and stared at her phone. Any second, it would light up with an unknown number. She’d been rehearsing what she would say all day.
“Be confident,” she’d written in her Notes app that morning. “Call within two minutes if they don’t call.”
The call was with a career coach, one of the final steps required to sign up for an online education program for military spouses. If she completed therecommended20 hours of work every week, Brooke learned, she could become a licensed personal trainer and nutritionist in less than five months — and then start earning $25 an hour.
Since she moved to Tampa, she’d seen the same advertisement pop up on her phone again and again: a photo of a man in uniform, lifting up a woman in Keds and skinny jeans. “No cost for education,” the ad said.
For months, Brooke had stopped herself from clicking on it. Why get all excited if she couldn’t make it work?
Butlately she had started to think about school differently: less as a luxury, more as a way to reclaim power over her life.
She attributed at least some of her newfound resolve to Judge Judy, whom she’d watched regularly since she was a kid. Sometimes, after a fight with Billy, she would hear the judge’s voice in her head, as she remembered it: “Always make sure you can support yourself,” Brooke recalled her saying to women who appeared in her courtroom. “Do not put yourself in a vulnerable position.”
As optimistic as Brooke felt after each counseling session with Billy, she knew there were still no guarantees.
While Billy is at work, Brooke reads the twins a story.Brooke washes Olivia, who got dirty during a diaper change.Brooke comforts Kendall after playtime with Olivia got too rough.Brooke said she remembered advice that Judge Judy would give to women in her TV courtroom: “Always make sure you can support yourself.”
When the call came, Brooke picked up on the second ring. She told the coach why she wanted to be a personal trainer, just as she’d practiced.
“I think it would be a good fit for me,” she said. “As for goals, I’d love to complete the program, pass my exam and just learn a whole bunch of new things I didn’t know before.”
The program would help her find a job, the career coach promised. But when he walked her through a preliminary search for personal-trainer positions in Tampa, nothing came up.
“No, I don’t see …” the coach said. “There’s hairstylist, personal assistance provider …”
Brooke tried not to feel discouraged. When she hung up, and Billy asked her how the call went, she smiled.
“It’s really exciting,” she said. “It was a little scary, but I feel like I did good.”
As her husband kissed her goodbye and walked out the door in his uniform, Brooke imagined what it would be like to leave the house on her own every day — to drive to her own job and get her own paycheck.
She opened an email from the career coach and started filling out her forms.
The medical science is in, the debate is over. Yes it is hard for some people to understand or change. All their lives they really thought biology of sex, who was male or female came down to if your part was an outtie or an innie. If it dangled outside the body or if you could put something in it. That is not how biologists classify male and female anymore. The notion that sex is not strictly binary is not even scientifically controversial. Among experts it is a given, an unavoidable conclusion derived from actually understanding the biology of sex. It is more accurate to describe biological sex in humans as bimodal, but not strictly binary. In order for sex to be binary there would need to be two non-overlapping and unambiguous ends to that continuum, but there clearly isn’t. There is every conceivable type of overlap in the middle – hence bimodal, but not binary.
There are two paraghraps that address the question of gametes and of sexual organs, again proving that they are not binary. Also the article address differences in sexual organs and how they are not the rare differences they once were thought to be. They are in fact much more common. This article is very informative and easy to read. It is a bit longer than some want to read but if you want to know the truth about sex, trans gender, and biology you will read it. If not you will repeat and stick to the same failed incorrect talking points. Hugs
What does the science actually say about biological sex?
The debate over how best to approach people who identify as transgender or non-binary is many-layered and can be complex. Medical questions about the evidence for the safety and efficacy of specific interventions, and the ethics of treating minors, deserve thoughtful and open discussion. The optimal way to incorporate transgender athletes into competition also could benefit from a good faith debate.
Unfortunately, discussion around transgender issues suffers from at least two sources. First, it has been coopted as part of a politically-motivated culture war. This reality is exactly the opposite of thoughtful good-faith discussion. Second, for most people wrapping their head around a reality that may not conform to traditional notions of strictly binary sex and gender takes a lot or processing. Misconceptions about the basic science are rampant, and are, in fact, encouraged by the culture warriors.
Many of those who are pushing back against trans healthcare and broader acceptance are explicitly premising their position on the claim that biological sex is strictly and obviously binary. They portray themselves as taking the scientific high ground, and anyone who questions this obvious biological fact are the ones engaged in pseudoscience.
Most of us are born male or female. This is not our “assigned gender”: it’s our biological sex. An individuals’s sex is determined in animals (and plants) via the chromosomes one is born with.
Wrong, right out of the gate (as I will detail below). He goes on:
For most of us, we ARE male, or we ARE female. Unfortunately, early scientific articles conflated “gender” and “sex”, and much of society conflate them this as well. Depending on context, someone might need to know your sex (karyotype).
He is saying that sex is strictly binary, it is entirely determined by karyotype, and it is completely distinct from gender. While these views are common, especially among those who are critical of the trans identity, they are also demonstrably scientifically wrong.
Biological sex is not binary
The notion that sex is not strictly binary is not even scientifically controversial. Among experts it is a given, an unavoidable conclusion derived from actually understanding the biology of sex. It is more accurate to describe biological sex in humans as bimodal, but not strictly binary. Bimodal means that there are essentially two dimensions to the continuum of biological sex. In order for sex to be binary there would need to be two non-overlapping and unambiguous ends to that continuum, but there clearly isn’t. There is every conceivable type of overlap in the middle – hence bimodal, but not binary.
This matters, and in fact it is the overlapping middle that is the very point of the discussion. Denying a trans identity is denying that overlapping middle. Let’s review the biology of sex to see what I mean.
It is absolutely true that humans display sexual dimorphism, with a typical male and typical female set of traits. There is no third sex, or pole, or sexual archetype. This can be distinguished, for example, from body type which is understood as trimodal – ectomorphic, endomorphic, and mesomorphic – forming a triangle with individuals falling somewhere between the three poles. Biological sex has only two poles, with one axis of variation between them. (See the main image for a good visual representation of binary vs bimodal.)
It is also true that most people tend to cluster around one of the two poles of biological sex. At first glance, looking superficially at the human population, it may seem binary. This is because binary and bimodal can look very similar if you don’t dig down into the details – so let’s do that.
First we need to consider all the traits relevant to sex that vary along this bimodal distribution. The language and concepts for these traits have been evolving too, but here is a current generally accepted scheme for organizing these traits:
Genetic sex
Morphological sex, which includes reproductive organs, external genitalia, gametes and secondary morphological sexual characteristics (sometimes these and genetic sex are referred to collectively as biological sex, but this is problematic for reasons I will go over)
Sexual orientation (sexual attraction)
Gender identity (how one understands and feels about their own gender)
Gender expression (how one expresses their gender to the world)
Let’s start with genetic sex. This may seem like a home run for binary sex, with females being XX and males XY, but on closer inspection this is not true. Again, yes, most people fall into one of these two chromosomal patterns, but we also see other patterns, such as XXY, XYY, XXX, etc. Further, some people can be mosaics, with some cells having XX and others XY.
But I think even more important than these chromosomal states is the fact that chromosomes alone do not fully tell the story of the genetics of sexual dimorphism. There are a number of genes involved in sexual characteristics (not all located on the sex chromosomes), and they can vary dramatically within chromosomal sex types, and even among the cells in an individual person, and throughout one’s life. John Achermann, who studies sex development and endocrinology at University College London’s Institute of Child Health, characterizes the situation this way:
I think there’s much greater diversity within male or female, and there is certainly an area of overlap where some people can’t easily define themselves within the binary structure.
Another layer of genetic complexity is gene copy number. For example, XY individuals with extra copies of the WNT4 gene can develop atypical genitals and gonads, and a rudimentary uterus and Fallopian tubes.
Further still, genes alone are not the whole picture of biological sex. There are a host of epigenetic factors at play, including hormone levels at different stages of development, hormone receptor sensitivity, and metabolic factors. All of these influence the development of sexual characteristics, which can vary along a spectrum. For example, there are XY females who are chromosomal males but develop mostly or entirely female because of androgen insensitivity. There are, essentially, women walking around who have no idea they have XY chromosomes.
Let’s move on to the primary sexual characteristics, which are essentially the internal reproductive organs and external genitalia; for females that is ovaries, uterus, and vagina, for males it is testes, prostate and penis. Do these characteristics vary in a strictly binary or bimodal way? When it comes to gametes, these are strictly binary – egg or sperm. However, even here there are intersex individuals with “ovotestes”, some of which can make both eggs and sperm. It is fair to say when it comes to reproduction the system is binary, but sex is about more than reproduction.
This is another concept that many people get caught up on, thinking in evolutionarily simplistic ways. The argument often goes that “sex is only about reproduction”, and since gametes are binary, sex in total is binary. This is incredibly reductionist, and misses the fact that traits often simultaneously serve multiple evolutionary ends. Sex, for example, is also about bonding, social relationships, power, and dominance. Think about this – what percentage of the time that humans have sex is the express purpose reproduction? How many people have no desire to ever have children, but still have an active sex life? Can there be romance without sex? Why are there so many aspects of sex that are not strictly reproductive?
Beyond gametes, other primary sexual characteristics are clearly bimodal but not strictly binary. Developmentally, the penis is the male correlate of the female clitoris. Both vary significantly in size, in rare cases meeting in the middle in what is called “ambiguous genitalia”. Some labia may partially fuse into a scrotum. There is also no sharp demarcation for how large a clitoris has to be or how small a penis has to be in order to be considered “ambiguous”. Such conditions are also not uncommon. A 2000 review found:
We surveyed the medical literature from 1955 to the present for studies of the frequency of deviation from the ideal male or female. We conclude that this frequency may be as high as 2% of live births. The frequency of individuals receiving “corrective” genital surgery, however, probably runs between 1 and 2 per 1,000 live births (0.1-0.2%).
A 2015 review puts the estimate at 1.7%. Still, some may argue, this is all not relevant to the question of, for example, gender identity. However, it establishes the complexity of sexual development, which results from not only chromosomes but a host of genetic and epigenetic factors, hormone levels, hormone receptor sensitivity, and metabolic factors. There is no one measure that by itself determines biological sex. And, most importantly, even within the subpopulation who have unambiguously male or female chromosomes, gametes, and genitals, there is considerable variation in their secondary sexual characteristics, which also vary in a bimodal and not strictly binary pattern.
Some secondary sexual characteristics are present from a young age while others emerge during puberty, and include bone structure, fat distribution, shape of the pelvis, muscular development, height, pitch of voice, and degree and pattern of hairiness. For all of these characteristics there are clusters of typically male or typically female, but these are statistical with great variation within groups. For example, if the only thing you knew about someone was how tall they were, or how hairy they were, you would likely not be able to determine their sex. Men are statistically taller and stronger than women, but many men are shorter than or weaker than many women. I have less body hair than many women I know.
If what I have discussed up to this point were all there were to sex, I honestly don’t think the topic would be that controversial. All biological traits vary in a complex and messy way, and sexual characteristics are no exception (why would they be?). Most of the controversy surrounds sexual dimorphism and the brain. Again, here we see that there are statistical differences only, with greater variation within the sexes than between them.
One brain feature that gets a lot of attention, however, is sexual orientation. I know I am framing this with a conclusion that some people contest, that sexual orientation is essentially determined by brain development, but that is the current consensus of scientific evidence and opinion. People are generally born with their sexual orientation, even if it is not fully realized until they go through puberty. In fact, I would consider sexual orientation to be part of biological sex (which is why I divided up sexuality as I did above).
Especially before the science dealing with this issue was more mature, this was a controversial question. Those who opposed gay rights claimed (and some still claim) that homosexuality is a choice, or a product of social influences, perhaps even a mental disorder or pathology. Years of research has lead to the conclusion that sexual orientation among humans is simply more fluid than old-school strictly binary concepts. People are heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual (romantic feelings are blind to sex or gender), asexual, and everything in between. I don’t think that anyone can reasonable defend today the position that sexual orientation is strictly binary, and any deviation is pathological.
If, then (as seems clear), sexual orientation is a brain function largely determined by genes, hormones, receptor sensitivity, and other epigenetic factors all affecting brain development and physiology, then it’s reasonable to consider sexual orientation an aspect of biological sex also. In a 2018 commentary published in PNAS, neurobiologist Dick F. Swaab begins:
Current evidence indicates that sexual differentiation of the human brain occurs during fetal and neonatal development and programs our gender identity—our feeling of being male or female and our sexual orientation as hetero-, homo-, or bisexual.
What does this mean for our binary vs bimodal sex question? I think it makes it pretty clear that biological sex is not strictly binary, because we can see any combination of morphological sexual characteristics and sexual orientation – you can’t know someone’s sexual orientation by looking at their genitals.
This is where communicating these ideas gets tricky, because some experts might express this reality by saying that there are more than two sexes. I think this may be counterproductive conceptually. I prefer the “bimodal but not binary” approach. But understand the real point – a strictly binary definition of biological sex cannot possibly capture all of the actual variation, which includes many possible states of sexual orientation. You can also see, on the other side, that claiming there are only two sexes because “gametes” is hopelessly reductionist and poorly informed.
And now gender
The situation gets more complex when we turn to gender identity. All the old arguments that were marshalled against homosexuality (that it is deviant, pathological, a choice, a social contagion) are now being applied to those with a non-traditional gender identity, and with just as little scientific basis. The scientific research is not as well developed as it is for sexual orientation, but what we have so far strongly suggests (just as it did in previous decades for orientation) that people are essentially born with their gender identity. Many people who identify as trans knew their gender identity from a very young age, similar to sexual orientation. The principle of parsimony would suggest gender identity is also a brain phenomenon, and therefore just another aspect of biological sex.
What researchers find when they simply describe gender in the population are people who display pretty much every combination of morphological sex, gender identity, expression, and sexual orientation. Gender identity does not appear to be binary at all, and does not even fall into categories as cleanly as sexual orientation. What we know is that a small percentage of the population does not identify with the sex that they were assigned at birth. Why would I say it that way? This too has become an issue of controversy, as if sex is an opinion. However, given everything I reviewed above, what is the alternative? “Biological sex” doesn’t work, because it probably includes gender identity, so that becomes self-contradictory. Sex is assigned at birth based entirely (in most cases – unless for some reason there was a genetic test) on examination of the external genitalia. Sure, because we are a bimodal species, this is a reasonable marker for biological sex for many people. But of course it does not capture all of the biological aspects of sex we reviewed (such as genetics and hormone levels), does not capture sexual characteristics that do not emerge until puberty, and does not capture anything to do with brain development and function.
To take the position that the gender assigned at birth is completely objective and unambiguous, the beginning and ending of biological sex, is to also believe that external genitalia as manifested at birth are 100% determinative of every other aspect of biological sex. But we know this not to be true. It’s definitely not true for secondary sexual characteristics, which can vary significantly, it’s not true for sexual orientation, and it’s not true for gender identity.
In practice, therefore, someone who is trans (or gender non-binary or gender queer) does not have a gender identity that traditionally aligns with their external genitalia (as it is apparent shortly after birth). This is no different than people who have a sexual orientation that does not traditionally align with their external genitalia. This is not at all surprising once we understand the complex messiness of sexual development. In my opinion, a reasonably thorough and objective review of the current scientific understanding of biological sex results in the unavoidable conclusion that human sex is bimodal but not strictly binary.
Denying difference out of existence
Some people, however, may accept the specific arguments but reject the conclusion with what I consider to be dubious logic. One approach is to say – what is the practical difference between bimodal and binary? Why should sexuality in any way be defined by the 2% (to use a representative round figure) rather than the 98%? But this misses the actual issue, which is how we think about the 2% – are they part of biological diversity or can we define them out of existence?
The point of promoting the fiction of strictly binary sex is that it eliminates the middle ground. There are two sexes and nothing in between. Anyone who does, in some way, fall in between is clearly an “aberration”. Further (and this is often the point) they claim that any conflict between genitals and sexuality must be a mental disorder. Given all the biological evidence, however, it seems unavoidable to conclude that human sexuality is bimodal, with lots of variation in the middle. From this perspective trans individuals are just one more manifestation of the full and demonstrably biological diversity that is human sexuality.
The other related approach is to pathologize the trans identity. Just as with homosexuality in decades past, this view holds that a trans identity must be pathological, because there are only two “correct” gender identities, the ones that traditionally align with one’s external genitalia. This position ultimately rests on either circular reasoning or a flawed appeal to nature (again, “because gametes”).
With homosexuality, the question of “nature” is easier to answer. Homosexuality exists pretty much in every animal species we examine and to similar levels. Some (like bonobos) have extremely high rates of homosexual and/or bisexual behavior. So it’s hard to argue that homosexuality is “unnatural”. There is no equivalent to gender among non-human animals, however. Because gender expression is so cultural, it is hard to scientifically examine what an animal’s gender identity might be. Attempts to infer from sexual behavior would be confounded with sexual orientation. (There is some interest in researching this question among primates, however.)
It is also possible to argue that sexual orientation, which is pretty clearly biological, may be phenomenologically different in nature from gender identity – that while sexual orientation is biological, gender identity is not. This is not impossible, and we do need further research to have a confident answer. But given what we do know the simplest answer is that gender identity is a brain function as much as sexual orientation is. Gender identity awareness is usually established by age 2-3, which itself is strong evidence it is biological. Further, the position that “gender identity is all psychocultural” should not be treated as the default answer, and it is not reasonable to place the burden of proof entirely on the biological side of the question.
We could also approach this question scientifically by looking at the brains of cis vs trans individuals to see if there is a difference. This research is preliminary, with mixed findings, but is trending in the direction of showing some differences between cis and trans brains. Overall studies do find differences in some measured features, with trans brains looking more like the identified gender than the apparent biological sex (even prior to any medical interventions). A 2015 review found:
A difference in brain phenotype of people with GI compared to natal sex controls in various brain measures suggests a sex-atypical development of the brain. However, it remains unclear whether these changes originate from prenatal organization alone. Knowledge of the development of the brain during adolescence (Giedd et al., 2012), and the importance of puberty in the clinical presentation of GI (Steensma et al., 2013), suggest that this period is pivotal in understanding the development of GI. Recent work that found subtle deviations in GM volume (Hoekzema et al., 2015), and brain activation during executive functioning from their natal sex (Staphorsius et al., 2015), as well as a response to a pheromone-like substance that was similar to their experienced gender in transgender adolescents (Burke et al., 2014), underscores the need to determine the timing and nature of sex-atypical organization.
These results on brain structure are thus partially in line with a sex-atypical differentiation of the brain during early development in individuals with GD (gender dysphoria), but might also suggest that other mechanisms are involved. Indeed, using resting state MRI, we observed GD-specific functional connectivity in the visual network in adolescent girls with GD. The latter is in support of a more recent hypothesis on alterations in brain networks important for own body perception and self-referential processing in individuals with GD.
Overall it’s too early to form a confident conclusion, but the data is trending in the exact same direction as similar research into sexual orientation – the brains of trans individuals appear to be different than their cis counterparts.
All things considered, I think an objective look at the science of biological sex indicates that humans are sexually dimorphic and bimodal, but that biological sex is much more complicated than it may at first appear and is not strictly binary. While we still need to do a lot more research to fully understand the trans / gender non-binary phenomenon, it seems that variations in gender identity are just one more manifestation of biological sexual variability. There is also no one system to categorize all of biological sex (do we use chromosomes, genes, hormone levels, genitalia, gametes?), and certainly humanity cannot be placed entirely into two categories. The binary system breaks down in the middle.
Author
Steven NovellaFounder and currently Executive Editor of Science-Based Medicine Steven Novella, MD is an academic clinical neurologist at the Yale University School of Medicine. He is also the host and producer of the popular weekly science podcast, The Skeptics’ Guide to the Universe, and the author of the NeuroLogicaBlog, a daily blog that covers news and issues in neuroscience, but also general science, scientific skepticism, philosophy of science, critical thinking, and the intersection of science with the media and society. Dr. Novella also has produced two courses with The Great Courses, and published a book on critical thinking – also called The Skeptics Guide to the Universe.View all posts