I was born Catholic and then dragged into Baptist churches after my father bailed on us. Later, my mom married a guy in the Chicago suburbs and I was dragged back into Catholic churches. After they divorced, I was forced to move to the deep south and once again attend Baptist churches. So naturally, I’m an atheist. During the 90s, my wife at the time wanted us to be churchgoers and me having my fill of Baptist churches, told her yes but only if we were Catholic. So, we gave that a spin for a year or so. Baptist church…Catholic church…it didn’t matter. We were still always the last family to arrive and would enter during the sermon. I don’t think my wife ever fully understood how bad it was to have an entire church of Catholics angrily looking down their noses at you. While we’re at it, let’s go…

Russian figure skater Kamila Valieva, who is only 15, failed a drug test but will be allowed to compete anyway. Sure, the medication was a performance-enhancing drug, but it’s not like she’s a black athlete caught smoking pot.

Valieva may not be the bad guy in this as it’s possible she wasn’t even aware she was doped, but she may have wondered where all the new and sudden-found stamina and increase in her heart rate came from. Doping is common practice with the Russian Olympic team, so who knows. The defense here is that Valieva accidentally took her grandfather’s heart medication. I had to live with my grandmother for a few months when I was a child but I don’t recall ever accidentally taking Milk of Magnesia.

The skater is expected to take gold and if she does, there won’t be a medal ceremony…because that would just be embarrassing. What’s…