I love when the whole poem fits in the title box. I had a different poem I was trying to use but I couldn’t figure out an excerpt that made sense. Go read the whole poem, you’ll see what I mean. Plus, it’s a terrific poem!
(Having only just now (10 PM Sunday) opened the email with this comic, I’m quite late; I’d saved it for a possible post, and it got buried. No matter, though; the message is good for more than one day, IMO. Everyone should be welcome everywhere every day, as they are welcome here. So, enjoy a comic. -A)
It seems Stafford County has always been staunchly conservative, but Joe Biden won the county in 2020 and 2024, barelyβ¦but he won. Blue Northern Virginia stopped at Stafford, but maybe thatβs changing.
Yet, the Board of Supervisors is majority Republican, but it wasnβt that long ago when they held all the seats. But despite the board being majority GOP, taxes are still going up.
Hell, taxes arenβt just going up in Stafford. Donald Trump is raising our taxes while trying to cute them for billionaire assholes, such as himself. Trump is raising taxes while denying theyβre taxes. Theyβre called tariffs, and Trump claims other nations pay them, not US taxpayers. If youβre not an idiot, you know thatβs true.
The Board of Supervisors voted to advertise a one percent increase to the meals tax and a two percent increase to the transient occupancy tax. The three percent tax increase isnβt a bad thing, though, as itβs going to public schools. At least Republicans in Stafford are trying to help public schools, while Trump is trying to destroy them. Well, most of them. Not every member voted for the tax increase.
This three percent increase is a lower hike than the recent hikes to my Cox WiFi service, Netflix, Disney Plus, Peacock, Prime, and the giant increase in YouTube TV.
The County Administrator requested a five percent increase, but he only got three. To keep the increase low, the Board is cutting other things like new cars for the sheriffs department, delaying raises, and cutting $5,000 from the Christmas lights budget. Governments shouldnβt have Christmas budgets. We need more separation of church and state.
Creative note: I usually draw my cartoons for the Advance on Friday evenings or Saturday afternoons. I drew this one Thursday night.
Drawn in 30 seconds (turn up your volume): (Go see and listen!)
===============
Bluto by Clay Jones
The regime wants to make Harvard more like Trump University Read on Substack
Trump has been pushing everyone around, from the courts to law offices to corporations to governors to media outlets to fellow Republicans to world leaders to universities. Many of those, like The Washington Post, CBS, and Facebook, obeyed before he even started pushing. But two that pushed back are Janet Mills, the Governor of Maine, and Harvard.
During a meeting with governors in the White House, Trump asked, βIs Maine here?β He probably forgot her name.
Trumpβs memory for grievances was calling back to a moment during the pandemic in 2020 when he referred to Mills as a βdictator,β and she replied, βI have spent the better part of my career listening to loud men talk tough to disguise their weakness.β Sheβs got his number.
Back to the White House (sic) meeting, Trump bullied Mills to ignore an anti-discrimination law in her state that allows transgender athletes to participate in girlsβ and womenβs sports. Trump threatened to cut off funding for Maine at the White House event with governors if the law persisted. Mills replied, βSee you in court.β
When you listen to Republicans, you would believe that men are intentionally cutting their nuts off to play womenβs volleyball.
Later, Trump claimed her talking back to him wasβ¦wait for itβ¦βillegal.β This is probably the βnastiestβ a woman has talked to him since that time a woman wouldnβt sell him Greenland, or that other time a woman in Puerto Rico told him, βNo, youβre doing a shitty job with hurricane recovery, you bloviating fartknocker,β or that time a female Speaker out-negotiated him, or that time a woman said his penis looked like a cartoon mushroom, or that time a woman dared to run against him, or that other time a woman dared to run against him.
Since then, the federal government has barraged the state with investigations, declared its education system to be in violation of federal law, and frozen some of its funding. Maine sued the Trump administration on April 7, doubling down on its defiance as it began the legal fight that Governor Mills promised at the White House.
Governor Janet Mills has bigger balls than every male governor in this nation combined, and she cracked Trumpβs little nuts like it was a Maine Lobster.
Trump is also waging war with universities, especially Ivy League schools. Heβs demanding that schools ban βwoke,β and the regime is revoking student visas and has sent goons to kidnap foreign students without pressing criminal charges, and holding them in detention facilities in the Deep South.
The Trump regime is accusing Harvard of violating studentsβ civil rights (which is ironic, coming from the regime that violates studentsβ civil and constitutional rights). The regime is also accusing its leaders of breaching Title VI, the federal law that bars federal funding to any school found to violate civil rights.
The regime claims that Harvard was failing to keep Jewish and pro-Israel students safe by allowing antisemitism on campus.
Most of the claims of antisemitism during the protests from last year are not true. Iβm sure hatred and harassment happened here and there, and from both sides, but it wasnβt widespread or condoned by any university. I donβt believe Muslim students were beating up Jewish students outside a deanβs window at any university, and he said, βEh, kids will be kids.β
The Armed Conflict Location and Event Data Project, an independent non-profit that tracks political violence and political protests around the world, found that 97 percent of campus demonstrations over the war in Gaza have been peaceful. It analyzed 553 US campus demonstrations nationwide and found that fewer than 20 resulted in any serious interpersonal violence or property damage.
Republicans lie about the Gaza protests like they lie about Black Lives Matter protests (who was that who brought a gun to a BLM protest and shot people? Oh, yeah. Kyle Fucking Rittenhouse).
The non-profit also documented at least 70 instances of forceful police intervention against students, including the arrest of demonstrators and the use of physical dispersal tactics, including the deployment of chemical agents, batons, and other kinds of physical force.
Last Monday, Harvard refused to submit to extensive government oversight while overhauling its governance, admissions, and hiring practices, calling the orders illegal and unconstitutional.
According to Harvardβs President, Alan Garber, those demands include requirements to βauditβ the viewpoints of the student body, faculty, staff, and to βreduce the powerβ of certain students, faculty, and administrators targeted because of their ideological views.β
The Trump regime retaliated by freezing $2.2 billion in federal funding to the university and threatened to revoke its tax-exempt status.
This is bullshit. The Trump regime doesnβt care about antisemitism on college campuses any more than they care about it coming from within the Trump regime. When Trump was elected in 2016 (sic), hate crimes increased substantially. We never heard Trump express outrage about that. Instead, he defended it. When tiki-torch Nazis chanted βJews will not replace usβ and βBlood and soilβ shortly before they murdered Heather Heyer, an anti-racism protester in Charlottesville, Trump defended the Nazis (they had a permit!) Maybe he got a free tiki torch out of it. Who knows?
Trump doesnβt hate antisemites. Instead of condemning them, he invites them to lunch at MAGA-Lardo. Trump dined with racists and antisemites Ye and Nick Fuentas at one of his shitty golf resorts. That kinda sets a bad example for Harvard to follow, doesnβt it?
Republicans have always pushed the narrative that education is bad somehow, and people who went to college should be spited, condemned, spit on, and treated like polo-loving foie gras eaters. They push the narrative that people with higher education look down on the rest of America. They often talk about the βEast Coast Elite,β or βelitists.β
Some people do act like that.
I was recently kinda seeing a woman who is as liberal as I am, and during a conversation about how members of both of our families are Trumpers, she mentioned that some of her family members, who live in the Midwest, considered her to be among the βEast Coast Elite.β You know, a snob who looks down on people. When I told her I kinda get the same thing, she became quickly annoyed, and said I couldnβt be considered a member of the βEast Coast Eliteβ because I didnβt have a PhD, which she has. I was just some bum who dropped out of college to go surfing and draw cartoons, and it wasnβt even a snooty college I dropped out of. She started off criticizing the notion that there is an βEast Coast Elite,β and then started acting as if she were a bona fide member of it. Later, she took me to a party and was βcalled out,β as she put it, that it was only for βserious people,β and I havenβt seen her since. As you can tell, I still have a little attitude about that.
Maybe it is all my fault. Someone at the party told me they had season tickets to the orchestra, and I told them that was awesome and to let me know if they make the playoffs. See? Iβm not a serious person.
While I donβt like stuck-up obnoxious boring assholes who look down on people as if theyβre better than them, I also donβt like hypocrites. Who am I talking about?
The vice president (sic), JD CouchFucker Vance, is all in on this attack on Ivy League schools, but it should be noted that heβs a graduate of Yale, an Ivy League school. Another Yale man is Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent. Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth went to Princeton and Harvard. Secretary of the Interior Doug Burgum didnβt go to an Ivy League school, but he did go to Stanford, which is private and snooty enough. Howard Lutnick, Commerce Secretary, also went to a private school, Haverford College. RFK Jr, secretary of health and weird conspiracy theories, also went to Harvard and three other universities. The Secretary of Energy, Chris Wright, went to MIT and Berkeley, which is a hippy school. Right? John Ratcliffe, head of the CIA, went to Notre Dame. Jamieson Greer, Trumpβs trade rep, went to Brigham Young, which is another private school (and founded by a guy with 56 wives and 52 more kids than Donald Trump has).
Where did Donald Trump matriculate? Trump went to the Wharton School, which is not a daycare but the business school of the University of Pennsylvania, and the last time I checked, it is an Ivy League school.
Trump is like one of those people who travels the world and somehow fails to take any of it in, and returns home still a knuckle-dragging moron with an inability to comprehend simple thoughts. Donald Trump went to an Ivy League school and came out still behaving like Donald Trump. That gives me the impression he only βwentβ there. Itβs like that guy who visits France and complains that the croissants arenβt croissandwiches.
Turning a croissant into a croissandwich would be like turning Harvard into Trump University.
Creative note: This cartoon is dedicated to John Belushi. I believe his work is an influence on my cartoons.
This was interesting: Last night, I ran into an ex (of sorts) who is involved in the local theater scene. She invited me to audition for a part in an upcoming play, saying she thinks I would be a good fit for it. I havenβt acted since the sixth grade, but I was the lead (there hasnβt been a better Pecos Bill since). I was intrigued and wanted to audition this morning, but not to get the part, but just to see if I could do it. I didnβt go because I had to draw this cartoon.
I just want you readers to know that I gave up being the next Brad Pitt for you.
At 1 a.m. today, the Supreme Court paused the deportation of immigrants who are subject Donald Trumpβs abuse of the Alien Enemies Act (a measure thatβs only supposed to be used during an invasion or times of war), just as the Trump regime was on the verge of flying a group of Venezuelans from Texas to El Salvador to rot in that nationβs hellhole of a prison.
Breaking news at 1 a.m. is usually about an explosion, an invasion, a tsunami, a tweet from Trump containing an incomprehensible new word, but rarely a Supreme Court ruling.
SCOTUS had previously told the regime that itβd be OK if they used the illegal Alien Enemies Act, just so long as each immigrant (and maybe US citizen) received due process first. The regime apparently ignored that last part about due process and was about to go all-skippy with deporting more Venezuelans.
The court ordered the Trump administration to respond to the emergency appeal once a federal appeals court in Louisiana takes action in the case. The court said, βThe government is directed not to remove any member of the putative class of detainees from the United States until further order of this court.β That means the regime will probably go ahead and do it.
SCOTUS did not explain the ruling, maybe because it was 1 a.m. and a rumor started that Dennyβs was about to close, and Sotomayor is a real grouch if she doesnβt get her Moons Over My Hammy.
But we probably donβt need an explanation for why the only two dissenters were (be ready to be surprised) Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito (OK, that wasnβt surprising).
Why would those two oppose delaying the deportation of immigrants without due process and support the regime violating the last order from SCOTUS? There are several possible reasons, and Iβm sure none of them are good.
The first reason could, theyβre fascist goons.
The second one could be that they just donβt give a shit about the Constitution and know this is the side theyβre supposed to be on.
The third reason could be that they donβt care what the issue is and all they need is to be pointed in the direction Trumpβs going, and they will follow.
The fourth reason could be that itβs booty night, Clarence doesnβt want to upset Ginny Thomas, and Samuel is hoping Mrs. Alito will help raise his flag.
The fifth reason could be that theyβre both corrupt and were bought off to vote this way.
Even Trumpβs justices, Neil Gorsuch, Brett Kavanaugh, and Amy Coney Barrett, voted for this delay.
These guys would deport Jesus, especially since heβs not a blue-eyed blonde like White Christians make him out to be.
This part of the blog is short because I want to clean my apartment before I fly to Chicago on Monday. I like coming home to a clean apartment.
I have a beef, and itβs not the Italian beef sandwich Iβm planning to try in Chicago: I may be starting a fight I donβt want to fight, but dammit. Somebody has to.
A caption contest is where a cartoonist draws a cartoon, but doesnβt finish writing it. He creates an image and leaves a blank speech bubble/balloon. He then invites the readers to fill in the bubble and makes a contest out of it. Itβs fun for the readers, gets them to engage with the cartoonist and the publication, and brings more hits and views to the publicationβs website. I always felt it was a cheap way to make readers come back to look at other same page, and I openly admitted that when I did a caption contest for The Free Lance-Star. I hated the caption contest, but knew my readers loved it and my editors liked the views. I donβt see anything wrong ethically with the caption contest because I donβt see it as political cartooning. I saw it as a newspaper feature similar to the crossword puzzle, the jumble, or todayβs Wordle. Iβll occasionally bump into a reader whoβll bring up the caption contestβ¦that I hated.
My friend Walt Handelsman is doing a caption contest, and he does it well.
I saw something similar last night thatβs kinda similar to the caption contest, but itβs entirely unethical, diminishes political cartooning, lazy, and is screwing readers over.
This is what I saw, and itβs by Daryl Cagle, who operates the largest syndication company for political cartoons.
If this were just a game for his website, Iβd think nothing of it, but itβs not a game.
Daryl is shopping for his reader to write his ideas, and then he plans to sell them. If he does manage to sell them, they wonβt be next to a crossword puzzle, but on the opinion page. Itβs not like editors will care if they suck, and they will. And if he sells them, heβs not sharing the money with the person who wrote the idea. Theyβll just get an βattribution.β
Remember my blog about why I donβt use cartoon ideas I didnβt write? The reason boils down to ethics, which Daryl doesnβt have. Even though I might be the goofiest guy in this industry, I take this industry seriously. I care about my work. Obviously, Daryl doesnβt care about his. He once drew two versions of a cartoon, one version from the Right and the other from the Left. It was a total hack job. He doesnβt care.
I commented on Darylβs Facebook page, telling him to write his own cartoons. He replied, βAccording to the Pulitzer people, we’re all just illustrators now, Clay.β Thatβs pretty much true as the Pulitzers have taken away the contest category for political cartoons and combined it with βillustrated reportingβ or some shit like that, but I wasnβt going to let Daryl use it as an excuse.
I replied to Daylβs reply, saying, βThen why are you helping the Pulitzers diminish us? You already used the anonymous cartoonist to tell editors and publishers that we’re not journalists. Most political cartoonists have too much integrity to take ideas submitted by readers, and here you are shopping for them. Do you not care about your work? If you don’t want to be a political cartoonist, then get out of the political cartoon business. And then on top of all that, you’re not going to pay the person who writes the cartoon you’re going to sell.β
Daryl previously syndicated an anonymous cartoonist who signed his work as Rivers. Rivers is a lying racist idiot MAGAt in Canada (that was a secret too). By syndicating Rivers, Daryl was telling editors and publishers that political cartoons didnβt have to abide by their ethics policies, thus cartoonists arenβt journalists anymore. Thatβs a weird position for a cartoonist to take. Even letters to the editor must be signed. When asked to justify this a couple of years ago, Daryl replied to me, βI donβt see a problem with this,β which wasnβt answering the question.
I first met Daryl in 1997 when I was in Hawaii. He flew out and bought me a burrito. I liked him. Heβs a nice guy personally, and I thought at the time with his website, that he was a huge advocate for our entire industry, but over the years, he started doing shit like this, shit I canβt remain silent about. Other cartoonists have told me to shut up and not make noise, but you know Iβm not good at that. Iβm a noisy motherfucker. I rock a Gibson. And then others send me private messages encouraging me on, but wonβt add their voices to my one-man protest. Those cartoonists are smarter than I am.
I would rather support other cartoonists than criticize them. I try to make any criticism about the message in it, like if itβs lying or racist, never just because I think it sucks. I donβt want to go after Daryl, but here I am.
Daryl could come after all my clients and try to chase me out of the business, but thereβs no sign heβs ever tried that, though I have lost newspapers to his syndicate, which sells dozens of cartoons in one package for a flat fee. Itβs hard to compete against that. Once, every cartoonist could submit to USA Today, but then Daryl made a deal with Gannett that shut out every cartoonist from their entire chain except for his cartoonists. Now, Gannett doesnβt publish political cartoons at all.
But he canβt come after my Substack. To all you paid subscribers, this is one of the things youβre helping me fight, and youβre giving me more freedom to speak out. So I thank you again.
Iβm going to open the comments today to be fair, to give Daryl a chance to respond to this. I donβt think he will, but Iβm trying to be fair.
Iβm not going to fight a war or carry a torch for this. Iβm going to move on and focus on my work, but somebody had to say something. Iβll end this with one more message to Daryl: Write your own fucking cartoons.
Creative note: I already did one Easter cartoon, which has a higher chance of being published than this one. I wanted to do something like this cartoon just to rouse up the conservatives on Easter Sunday. Itβs so much better than the he-has-risen bullshit from the fake Christians like Gary Varvel.
How Crocodile Ancestors Survived The Dinosaur Extinction
Evrim Yazgin Cosmos science journalist
Crocodiles are often thought of as living fossils β unchanged over millions of years. New research has shown that their evolutionary history is a lot more complicated than that.
Crocodilia is the surviving family of a lineage which emerged about 230 million years ago (mya) called crocodylomorphs. This group split from other reptilian species including those that eventually became dinosaurs. Today, the crocodilia include crocodiles, alligators, caiman and gharials.
Ancestors of modern crocodilians survived through 2 mass extinctions, including the one which spelled the end of the βAge of Dinosaursβ 66 mya.
The teeth of this fossil Borealosuchus skull typify the toothy grin of semi-aquatic generalist predators that survived the end-Cretaceous mass extinction. Credit: Jack Rodgers/Natural History Museum of Utah.
The new study, published in the journal Palaeontology, shows that the secret to success of crocodylomorphs was their adaptability to new food sources and habitats.
βLots of groups closely related to crocodilians were more diverse, more abundant, and exhibited different ecologies, yet they all disappeared except these few generalist crocodilians alive today,β says lead author Keegan Melstrom from the University of Central Oklahoma.
Todayβs crocodilians are semi-aquatic generalists. The thrive in different habitats and arenβt picky eaters.
It was a different story with ancient crocodylomorphs.
Skulls of Araripesuchus gomesii (left), a Late Cretacious terrestrial predator and Cricosaurus suevicus (right), a Late Jurassic aquatic predator. Credit: University of Central Oklahoma.
The palaeontologists visited museum collections in 7 countries, across 4 continents to understand the evolution of crocodilian ancestors. They examined the skulls of 99 extinct crocodylomorph species and 20 living crocodilians.
Crocodylomorphs exploded after the end-Triassic mass extinction 201 mya which killed off ancient lineages of hypercarnivores and land-based predators.
βAfter that, it goes bananas,β says Melstrom. βAquatichypercarnivores, terrestrial generalists, terrestrial hypercarnivores, terrestrial herbivores β crocodylomorphs evolved a massive number of ecological roles throughout the time of the dinosaurs.β
Toward the end of the time of the dinosaurs, however, crocodylomorphs started to decline.
Most of the specialised crocodylomorphs had died off by the end of the Cretaceous. Almost all 26 remaining species today are semi-aquatic generalists.
Some 215 million years ago in what is now northwestern Argentina, the terrestrial crocodylomorph Hemiprotosuchus leali prepares to devour the early mammal relative Chaliminia musteloides. Credit: Jorge Gonzalez.
βWhen we see living crocodiles and alligators, rather than thinking of ferocious beasts or expensive handbags, I hope people appreciate their amazing 200+ million years of evolution, and how theyβve survived so many tumultuous events in Earth history,β says co-author Randy Irmis from the Natural History Museum of Utah. βCrocodilians are equipped to survive many future changes β if weβre willing to help preserve their habitats.β
βExtinction and survivorship are 2 sides of the same coin,β Melstrom says. βThrough all mass extinctions, some groups manage to persist and diversify. What can we learn by studying the deeper evolutionary patterns imparted by these events?β (snip-More)
US officials claim move was to curb drug trafficking while Quebec town says it βweakens collaborationβ among nations
View image in fullscreen A young girl walks over the Canada-US border line from the Haskell Free Library and Opera House in Derby Line, Vermont, on Friday.Β Photograph: Christinne Muschi/The Canadian Press via AP
The US has blocked Canadian access to a library straddling the Canada-US border, drawing criticism from a Quebec town where people have long enjoyed easy entry to the space.
The Haskell Free Library and Opera House is located between Stanstead, Quebec, and Derby Line,Β Vermont. It was built deliberately to straddle the frontier between the two countries β a symbol of cooperation and friendship betweenΒ CanadaΒ and the US. (snip)
A nonprofit says it has raised enough money for Fairhope Public Library to cover state funds that the Alabama Public Library Service Board cut off last week.
Read Freely Alabama, a grassroots free speech advocacy organization that has fought restrictions on library content, said it had collected almost $39,000 from about 550 donors through Tuesday morning. Read Freely is organizing the campaign with EveryLibrary, an Illinois-based organization that promotes library funding and fights restrictions.
βWe were trying to figure out what was the amount that they were pausing,β said Cheryl Corvo, a member of Read Freely Alabama and Fairhope resident. βThen, we found out it was $42,000 that they were pausing, and how it would affect our library.β
The Fairhope Public Library said it will have access to funding without interference from the state or any outside groups.
βWe had a meeting with EveryLibrary, which is the group that has control of this particular fundraiser, and they take 10% and 90% of it comes to us,β said Randal Wright, a board member of the Fairhope Public Library.
The amount was not enough to severely debilitate the libraryβs operations, Corvo said. But it is enough to affect βsome very vital resources that the library provided.β Corvo said the campaign should also make APLS aware of the magnitude of local support for the library.
Wright said that if the state continues to withhold money, the funds will go toward computers, books for the collection and paying for guest speakers. (snip)
Letβs make one thing clear. The immigrants the Trump regime seized off the street and sent to a Salvadoran prison were NOT deported. To be deported, you have to go through due process. Immigrants who are deported usually have to face a judge. The people sent to the prison in El Salvador never faced a judge before being shipped off or received due process. They were not deported. They were kidnapped.
And this prison in El Salvador, where the president referred to himself as the βcoolestβ dictator, isnβt so much a prison as it is a concentration camp or a gulag.
Mona Charen wrote, βWe are outsourcing torture and murder. What kind of president, what kind of political party, can look at that with satisfaction?” And what American can not at least wonder about their own security?β
Speaking to the βcoolβ dictator while he was visiting the White House yesterday (and you thought it got weird when Zelensky visited), Donald Trump told President Nayib Bukele (He deserves a βsicβ too. Sic) that βhome grownsβ should be next. He said, βThe home growns. You gotta build about five more places. It’s not big enough.β By the way, the cool dictator didnβt wear a suit and tie either. See what you started, Elon?
But what does Trump mean by βhome growns?β Heβs referencing American citizens, even those born in the United States, that he deems to be criminals, and they should be sent to rot in a Salvadoran super-max prison where human rights are not a thing.
Then Trump told reporters, βI just asked the president β itβs this massive complex that he built, jail complex β I said, βCan you build some more of them please?β As many as we can get out of our country.β
He added, βIf they’re criminals, and if they hit people with baseball bats over the head that happen to be 90 years old, if they rape 87-year-old women in Coney Island, Brooklyn, yeah, yeah that includes them.β Or, if they testify against you, or do their jobs in the Justice Department in prosecuting people who start insurrections and steal classified documents, or they draw mean cartoons about you, yeah, yeah, that includes them.
The prison Trump is referring to and that he wants duplicated several times over is a so-called βterrorism confinement centerβ (CECOT). Prisoners are kept in their cells for at least 23-and-a-half hours a day. They are starved and beaten. Thereβs no fresh water. People are tortured. There have been 368 deaths in the prison, and itβs only been around since 2022.
Trump said, βThey’re great facilities. Very strong facilities. They don’t play games.β You know, games like due process, civil rights, and human rightsβ¦βgamesβ like that.
Trump claims all the bad people he sent there without due process are gang members. Still, thereβs a new report that claims 90 percent are not gang members, including Abrego Garcia, 29, a Maryland father who was sent to El Salvador on March 15, despite a 2019 court order prohibiting the return to his home country for fear of persecution by a gang there.
The Supreme Court has ordered the Trump regime to bring Garcia back home. The regime has admitted Garcia was mistakenly sent to this gulag, but the regime doesnβt want to bring him back. The dictator, El Salvadorβs dictator, not ours, refuses to send Garcia back to the US. The decision by SCOTUS was unanimous. In case youβre a Republican, βunanimousβ means all of them. Do you know how rare it is for all nine members of the Supreme Court to agree on anything? They canβt agree on lunch. There was a near revolt the time it was Clarenceβs turn to choose, and he picked Blimpies.
So, if the regime can snatch legal residents off the street, then why canβt they do the same to US citizens? You may believe the Constitution protects you, and yeahβ¦itβs supposed to. But the Constitution didnβt protect Abrego Garcia, Rumeysa Ozturk, Mahmoud Khalil, or Mohsen Mahdawi, who was arrested yesterday during an interview as part of his application for US citizenship. Ozturk, Khalil, and Mahdawi were arrested and then detained in Louisiana for protesting Israelβs bombardment of Gaza.
If you do get snatched up and sent away, you wonβt be able to argue for your constitutional rights from a concentration camp in Central America that doesnβt even have toilets. The people who would argue for your rights may not even know youβre missing until youβre swatting at flying buzzy stingy things in a gulag in a Salvadoran mangrove swamp. They have jungles, snakes, giant spiders, crocodiles, gang bangers, and Blimpies down there. You wonβt like it. I have two friends from El Salvador, and neither wants to go backβ¦ever. And they werenβt in a concentration camp.
You know how people look at Indiana and say, βI donβt wanna be stuck there.β Itβs kinda the same with Latin America and El Salvador. Itβs the Indiana of the Americas.
Douglas Dunn, a friend of mine, posted on this cartoon at Facebook, βYou are only as legal β you are only as much a U.S. citizen β as the nearest ICE agent (or his boss) says you are, if they can take you WITHOUT DUE PROCESS so you never get the chance to prove you are a citizen.β Doug is a great writer. He writes gooder than I do.
Trump has made it clear that he wonβt bring you back, even if a federal court orders it, even if that court is the Supreme Court voting 9-0. Even Clarence and Sammy ordered Trump to bring Garcia backβ¦with some Blimpies.
They canβt really start deporting American citizens, can they?
Last Friday, Nicole Micheroni, an American immigration lawyer born in Massachusetts, received a letter from the Department of Homeland Security (dog-killer Kristi Noemβs agency), saying her parole status has been revoked and she must self-deport within seven days. The letter (which was snail-mailed with a legal stamp and everything, so you know theyβre serious) also said if she doesnβt self deport, then the government will take action. The letter ended with, βAgain, DHS is terminating your parole. Do not attempt to remain in the United States – the federal government will find you. Please depart the United States immediately.β
Micheroni made calls and found out the letter was legitimate but intended for someone else. Maybe DHS is practicing for when they do start kicking Americans out of America. But still, if I was Ms. Micheroni, Iβd sleep with one eye open for the next seven days, or four years, give or take.
Creative note: Iβm never comfortable drawing myself, so consider this kinda-sorta me. When I put myself in a cartoon, Iβm afraid Iβll come off as having delusions of grandeur, as though I think Iβm important enough that the regime is paying attention to me. I also donβt want to be too kind to myself or even make myself too ugly. Iβm still not happy with the self-caricature GoComics is using now (and I never sent this to them. I sent it to Cartooning for Peace. But maybe I should leave it alone in case the regime uses it like a mugshot when they come looking to snatch me off the street and send me to El Salvador.
Music note: I listened to The Beatles and The Rolling Stones. Are you a Beatles or Stones person? Tell me in the comments. Iβm more Beatles than Stones.
Drawn in 30 seconds (Sorry for the earworm): (snip-Go see)
Rep. Jack Kimble tweeted that βPresident Trump is now 6β3β 224 pounds with 4.8% body fat. We might lose him to the NFL draft.β
Captain Barbarella, the physician to the president (sic), failed to hide in his memorandum about Donald Trumpβs physical that heβs a Trump sycophant. Or at least he failed to hide that he was controlled by a member of the cult.
His doctorβs name is actually Captain Sean Barbabella and NOT Barbarella, the title of the 1968 Jane Fonda space sex movie (Iβve never seen it). If congressman Kimble can accidentally refer to the El Salvadore President Nayib Bukele as President Bukake, I can use Barbarella. Also, I donβt know what βbukakeβ means because Iβm a good boy.
While the report of the exam looks like it was written by a real doctor in most of the details, there are still little bits included to make it political and cultist.
For example, when the memorandum mentions his hearing, it mentions βscarring on the right ear from a gunshot wound,β reminding us that Trump was shot is a superhero to survive it (unlike that sucker standing behind him). The doc also wrote that Trumpβs βactive lifestyle continues to contribute significantly to his well-being,β with one of those activities being his βfrequent victories in golf events,β which makes him βfully fitβ to be president (sic).
So itβs not the golfing that makes him physically fit to be president, but the golf victories. See what he did there? Itβs like the champion is a Greek Adonis, but all the losers are donut-eating hose beasts. Have you seen John Daly? He also claims heβs 215 pounds.
Just how physically active is golfing when you donβt walk the course? Trump doesnβt even like stairs. Yes, there are elevators in the White House, and fortunately for Trump, one of them is a freight elevator. That brings us to Trumpβs weight.
Captain Barbarella reports that Captain Big Mac only weighs 224 pounds. He also reports that Trump is 75 inches tall, which is six feet and three inches. I call bullshit.
Hereβs what the White House released:
Unless you care about the presidentβs (sic) health (and I do not), it doesnβt matter to you or me what he weighs or how tall he is. What is important is that theyβre dishonest. Whatβs important is the depth into which this regime sinks the cult into the government.
Trump, who is 78, needs to appear as a Superman to his cult. Iβm shocked the memo mentions he takes aspirin for cardiac prevention. As weβve learned, they lie about everything.
Right now, the regime is lying to the Supreme Court by claiming they canβt have a man they illegally snatched off the street and sent to a prison in El Salvador brought back to this country.
When Trump was running for president in 2016, Dr. Harold Bornstein stated that Trump would be the βhealthiest individual ever elected to the presidency.β A couple of years later, we learned that Trump had dictated that letter, which didnβt surprise anyone. A doctor should lose his medical license over that. And it wouldnβt surprise us to learn he dictated β224β and β75 inchesβ to Captain Barbarella and wouldnβt allow him to mention that Trumpβs cholesterol is just Big Mac Secret Sauce. His first White House physician was a lying alcoholic lunatic, Dr. Ronny Jackson, who doesnβt practice medicine anymore and is now in a place where he canβt hurt anybody, Congress.
Ronny Jackson claimed that Trump could live to be 200, and judging from the way our luck works, that might be true.
The memo does show that despite spreading debunked lies about vaccines, like his Health Secretary does, Trump is up to date on vaccines.
The part we should care about, and is more absurd than claiming he weighs 224 pounds, is the claim he scored 30 out of 30 on a cognitive test. I checked to be sure the memo didnβt state that he also has hands that are not tiny.
Anyone who believes Trump, the shark boat battery guy, scored 30 out of 30 on a cognitive test needs to take a cognitive test. I donβt believe this doctor would let us know if Trump scored less than 30.
Trumpβs last presidential physical had him at 244 pounds. His 2023 arrest in Georgia listed him at 215 (they donβt weigh the prisoners but take their word for how much they weigh), and this exam says heβs 224.
If Trump does weigh 224 pounds, then thatβs 224 pounds of walking/talking bullshit.
The one number thatβs accurate about Trump is 34, as in 34 felony convictions.
Creative note: I still have a few other ideas I wrote last week that I want to get to, but I knew last night that I needed to cover this today. This idea hit me shortly after I woke up.
Music Note: I listened to The Beatles.
Drawn in 30 Seconds (with music):Β Sorry for the earworm. (Snip-go see/listen!)
(As a person who mostly does smile, but is occasionally still told to do so, I appreciate this comic. Meanwhile, as to the bagel, see the first comment just now; or HuckleberryHiroshima’s comment.)
Elon Musk got into a little tiffy-tiff with Peter Navarro, and I have to say, I like seeing these guys destroy each other.
You canβt choose a side between Elon and Navarro. You can only hope both lose. Itβs like trying to choose a side during the war between Iraq and Iran (the US picked Iraq), or when the Dallas Cowboys play the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, or when the Atlanta Braves plays of the two baseball teams in Florida, or a fight between the insurance emu or Flo from Progressive, or Ice T in Carshield commercials vs gutter filter commercials, or a contest between Nickelback and the Kars4Kids song, or a battle between ketchup on hotdogs and Dominoβs Pizza.
Side note: I just Googled to make sure it is Ice T in those stupid Carshield commercials, and just because Iβm trying to be accurate and informative to serve you, Iβm going to get thousand of Carshield ads in all my shit now. Youβre welcome.
If you see two fucknuts in MAGA caps in a slap fight, you donβt choose a side, and for the love of god, you donβt break it up. You should get some popcorn and encourage each fighter. βKick him in the nuts! Yeah, thatβs how you do it. Hey, other guy. Are you going to let him get away with kicking you in the nuts like that?β
In case you donβt remember, Peter Navarro is a lying sack of turds. He was the director of the National Trade Council in the first Trump administration (sic), then director of the Office of Trade and Manufacturing Policy. Now, in Trump 2.0 (sic), heβs senior counselor for Trade and Manufacturing. Heβs also the first official from Trumpβs White House (sic) to serve time in prison for trying to steal the 2020 election. Now, there are at least two felons in the White House.
This week, Navarro βguaranteedβ the Trump tariff war will not bring a recession, just like he guaranteed there wouldnβt be a pandemic from COVID-19. Instead of investing in stocks, Iβd rather place wagers on Peter Navarro being wrong about things.
But whatβs going on between him and Elon?
Last Saturday, a poster on Twitter/X defended Navarro’s intellect as a voice on trade. This is like when a MAGAt tries to tell us that Trump knows what heβs doing. Navarro is a big part of Trumpβs trade policies. Musk replied that Navarro’s Harvard Ph.D. suggested he had more ego than brains and that he βain’t built shit.β
Musk has criticized Trumpβs tariff war, and the two-day stock market crash, before coming back and crashing again, cost Elon at least $18 billion in Tesla stock. Itβs kinda difficult to tell someone the tariffs are working when that someone just lost $18 billion because of the tariffs.
Then, Elon addressed an Italian political party (think of Nazis with risotto) by video and said, βBoth Europe and the United States should move, ideally, in my view, to a zero-tariff situation, effectively creating a free trade zone between Europe and North America.β That goes against Trumpβs stance (for now), whose trade policy is wildly going in the opposite direction.
Navarro, who has been defending Trumpβs tariffs, has said Trumpβs tariffs will bring in over $600 billion in new annual revenue. That canβt be true at all because Trump is calling on other nations to negotiate, so these tariffs will eventually be reduced, either by negotiations or Trump chickening out because his balls dropped off again. If that is Trumpβs intention (not his balls dropping off but reducing the tariffs), then we wonβt be getting new revenue every year of $600 billion. But, if we do get $600 billion revenue from these Trump tariffs, it will be from American consumers. Navarro should be capable of understanding this because he has a PhD in economics from Harvard.
Navarro has written a dozen books which most economists call bullshit. Despite Navarroβs PhD from Harvard in economics, he believes a trade war with higher tariffs will allow us to cut more taxes. I donβt have a PhD in economics from Harvard, but I still know that tariffs are taxes on American consumers. Duh.
Navarro and Musk donβt agree on trade. So, after an insult from Elon, Navarro sent one back, saying Elon wasn’t a car manufacturer, just an assembler of parts. Uh oh.
Elon responded to the video (which we donβt need to watch), saying, βNavarro is truly a moron.β He also said Navarro is βdumber than a sack of bricks.β
And then Elon tweeted about 20 more times to defend himself and his shitty cars.
Elon is right about this. Peter Navarro is a moron who is dumber than a sack of bricks, but Elon is a moron, too. Elon is a lying Nazi-supporting moron.
But Elon got the better of this since he told Navarro to consult with economist Ron Vara. Who? Ron Vara is an economist Navarro has quoted in several of his stupid books. The only thing wrong with that is Ron Vara doesnβt exist. Itβs an anagram of βNavarro.β Peter Navarro has to quote a fictional economist because he canβt find a real economist who shares his dumbasseconomic beliefs, probably because theyβre fucking insane. Navarro is that one guy in the office whoβll advise that todayβs lunch should be from Blimpies (I just finished 30 Rock).
Even Elonβs brother, Kimbal, said, βWho would have thought that Trump was actually the most high tax American President in generations?β He also said, βThrough his tariff strategy, Trump has implemented a structural, permanent tax on the American consumer.β
This is like Rob Gronkowski knowing FTX cryptocurrency wasnβt real money before Tom Brady lost $30 million in it.
White House spokesgoon Karoline Leavitt was asked about the sparring between Elon and Navarro, and she explained it with, βBoys will be boys, and we will let their public sparring continue.β
Oh, yeah. Leavitt is also a moron.
Maybe Trump is getting all of his trade advice from Gronk.
By the way, this is what inspired this cartoon.
Creative note: I have five ideas in my folder to choose from for the next few days. I felt this would be the best for today. This cartoon was so quick to draw that the files of it that I sent to my clients may be the smallest Iβve ever sent. The files with crowd scenes and lots of Easter eggs are huge.
Music note: I listened to Queens of the Stone Age.