Dems didn’t get good coverage by larger named media outlets; larger names presented it all as awkwardly as possible for Democrats. As they have for most of my lifetime. Leave it to God-FAIR coverage!🤣 A
THE LORD’S STATE OF THE UNION: Because the president is a psychopath, because the vice president hath the spine of a jellyfish, because the people of this nation are terrorized, the state of the union is strong…ly fucked up.
1. Al Green Shows The Way
Lo, the air was thick with lies, the ground shook with deranged threats, and the halls of power reeked of cowardice. But only one man in that chamber understood the moment and had the courage to stand up to the bully, right to his bloated orange face.
And that man was Al Green. Al Green shouted the truth, he stood against the madness, and he got kicked out for it. He is also unrepentant for this righteous trouble, which I fully support.
God bless Representative Al Green. This is the kind of fire and leadership that people are looking for. PUT HIM IN CHARGE!
2. Little Roadrunner Signs Are Not The Way
On the other end of the protest spectrum, we have Little Roadrunner Signs. What the hell were those sad little signs supposed to accomplish?
“MUSK STEALS.” “PROTECT VETERANS.” “SAVE MEDICAID.” Ooooo, so scary. They might as well have held up “PLEASE DON’T HURT US, SIR” for all the good it did.
The fascists stood and roared, grinning ear to ear like morons, while Democrats meekly raised their tiny placards.
God proclaims this tactic to be WEAK SAUCE.
That said, maybe the signs could have worked if they had better phrases. Here are some other phrases they should have used instead:
“Go to Mars and stay there.”
“Deport Elon Musk.”
“Billionaires shouldn’t exist.”
“Fuck you, Donald!”
“Burn in hell, fascist.”
Ya know, that sort of thing. HARSHER. Keep it going in the comments.
3. God’s Final Word
FOR THE RECORD, despite what he says, Donold was NOT saved by God to make America great again. Also, I categorically reject Donold’s request for Me to “bless America.” I will not be doing that until he is long gone.
Fuck you, Donold!
4. We’re Fighting Back—And It’s Working
How many good people have been fired? How many voices silenced? How many innocent people deported?
About a third of Project 2025 has already been implemented. They’re getting away with it.
You know what’s coming. You’ve seen what they do with power. But you don’t have to sit back and watch.
Here’s how we fight:
Expose corruption that corporate media won’t touch.
Keep people engaged & informed—with truth, hope and laughter.
Rally thousands of voices to push back against fascism.
Build an independent platform where truth can’t be silenced.
My website had some outages that have now been repaired. You can see my three finished independent films and the animatic (storyboard script) for the fourth, OLD TRICKS, here.
It took me three years to make YOUR FEETS TOO BIG, eight weeks to make THE OTHER EDEN, six months to make A SHORT HISTORY OF INDIANS IN CANADA.
Digital technology made the last three films possible. THE OTHER EDEN and the SHORT HISTORY were entirely paperless while YOUR FEETS TOO BIG was made with traditional cels, backgrounds, and magnetic/optical soundtrack technology.
Virginia is one the states being hit the hardest by the DOGE cuts, you know…Elon’s Department of Government Efficiency, which isn’t an official department.
Virginia has more federal employees than any other state except California, which has maybe around 2,000 more. In case you suck at geography, Virginia borders Washington, DC. Virginia, along with Maryland, donated land to form DC…and then took it back many years later. But a lot of federal workers live in NoVA (Northern Virginia) because as expensive as it is there, it’s even more expensive in DC.
It’s cheaper to live in Fairfax, Arlington, Falls Church, Manassas, and even Fredericksburg for federal workers. People in Fredericksburg don’t like to admit they’re a part of Northern Virginia, and there are arguments for and against, but we’re definitely a commuter town. We have a commuter train that runs several times a day.
Do you remember a few weeks ago when I did a cartoon about housing and commuting in the Burg? The issue in the cartoon was about the housing problem in the area, and the only way to afford the newly-built homes was to work in NoVa or DC. Now, a lot of people won’t be able to do that, thanks to Elon Musk.
Right about now is when you need your governor to swoop in and fight for you. Since our governor is a Republican and has always supported Trump, he may have some sway in easing or even ending the layoffs of Virginians. Oh, boy….here comes our governor, red-vest-wearing Glenn Youngkin. Where are the horns announcing our champion’s arrival? Here, I’ll do a. mouth trumpet for it. DOO-DA-Doo!
What’s your message, Gov? Let’s hear it! Here it is! Youngkin said, “Listen. We have a federal government that is inefficient, and we have an administration that is taking on that challenge of rooting out waste, fraud, and abuse and driving efficiency in our federal government. It needed to happen.”
Uhhhh….what?
Our “champion” just said that many Virginians are wasteful, fraudulent, abusive, and inefficient. Youngkin is taking the side of DOGE over Virginias, but he doesn’t care. Most of those federal workers live in NoVA, and NoVA didn’t vote for Youngkin. But, he’s still gonna help us out.
Youngkin said, “We have a lot of federal workers in the Commonwealth, and I want to make sure that they know we care about them and we value them and we want them to find that next chapter.”
Dawwww, thank you, Mr. Red Vest. We’re so happy you care. Now, lay it on us.
Youngkin announced a new “resource package” at an event hosted by Capital One and introduced a new government website, VirginiaHasJobs.com, for fired federal employees. The site has information for recently fired federal workers that includes information on “virtual job fairs,” advice on how to apply for unemployment, and helpful tips on updating their resumes.
The next time your car doesn’t start, maybe Mr. Red Vest will come along and helpfully say, “Try kicking the tires.”
You would think Youngkin would have more sympathy since he was once a commuter when he was co-CEO of the Carlyle Group, an investment firm that helped make Youngkin a multimillionaire with a net worth of around $440 million. No wonder he doesn’t give a shit about you.
And I wouldn’t care about you either if I was a Republican worth $440 million. I’d be in an ivory tower penthouse somewhere, smoking huge cigars while laughing evilly, Bwa-ha-ha-ha-cough-cough-cough-hack-hack-hack-gag-gag-gag. I just remembered that I don’t like cigars.
Anyway, the new website includes an incomplete list (is Enron still around?) of some of the state’s largest employers (a Youngkin staffer did some googling), including Capital One (the Capitol One Cafes are nice. Maybe you can get a job there if you can’t land a position in offering predatory loans). Basically, the governor is telling you to search LinkedIn and Indeed and make sure you smile during your job interviews. Thanks, Governor.
Thank God there’s a one-term limit on governors in Virginia.
Hey, speaking of that. The governor is about to be unemployed himself. Since I have as much empathy for him as he has for his constituents, I’ll give him some job-hunting advice.
Governor, update your resume and make sure to include you’re an orange Kool-Aid-swilling MAGAt, and maybe you can get a job in the Trump administration (sic). After all, you have chosen Trump and Elon Musk over your constituents.
Make sure you include that you like Nazis in your resume because that can get you in good with Elon Musk, who is a Nazi. Don’t get your hopes up too much because word is, Elon favors young boys for those positions. I’m not insinuating anything nasty here, but it’s true. Elon favors young, inexperienced men still in the Clearasil demographic for jobs in DOGE.
During your campaign for governor, you spread lies about the FBI tracking and intimidating parents of students in public schools. Mention that, too. Say something hateful about Biden. They love that shit.
Since you don’t have any accomplishments from your time as governor, you might have to start as an intern. Just crawl up Trump’s ass and wait for your call. What? You’ve already done that? Good job thinking ahead.
Also, tell them you really really really really really wanted to ban abortion in the state, but those commie socialist woke Democrats in the General Assembly wouldn’t let you.
Just hang in there because there will be an opening in the Trump cabinet soon. Which cabinet? Who knows, but this is Trump. He’ll fire someone soon, or perhaps one of them will discover he or she has a couple of ounces of dignity left and will quit after the next international shameful embarrassment. No, it won’t be Rubio.
Also, if you do get inside the Oval Office, be cautious about sitting on any couches. JD’s been in there.
You could also apply for a job at Fox News. Perhaps you can get Pete Hegseth’s former seat on the couch (I’m not sure if JD’s been on that one). What? You don’t have any journalism experience? HAHAHAHA. You’re funny, Gov. This is Fox News, not an actual news outlet.
Ya know, Gov…I think you’re going to be fine (you can probably scrape by with your $440 million), at least for the first three years after you leave office, but it could be close to four years if you leave now.
Nudge, nudge. Hint, hint.
Lieutenant Gov. Winsome Sears made a direct-to-camera video acknowledging “concern about the federal government workforce transition” and shared five links to “additional resources to assist.” All five links led to “404 Page Not Found” website errors. Sears is going to have a lot of fun running to replace Youngkin in this year’s gubernatorial election. Winsome, make sure to constantly mention these firings “needed to happen.” It’ll be a real winner of a message in NoVA, Richmond, Norfolk, etc, ect.
(I put a new theme on the phone for March; it’s called “Four Leaf Spring.” I thought it would be seasonable. I noticed on the thumbnail that the four leaved clover had 5 leaves, so kept looking, then decided to go back and just take it because other than the extra leaf, I like it, and it’s free. It did strike me that that theme artist used AI. Or is AI? dun dun DuN…)
I just saw this, over supper just now. I’m a big fan of Roberta Flack’s talent.
Roberta Flack, the Grammy-winning soul singer best known for her celebrated interpretations of romantic ballads like “Killing Me Softly With His Song,” as well as her professional collaborations and social activism, has died, according to a statement from her publicist.
She was 88.
Flack died Monday at her home, surrounded by her family, Elaine Schock, her publicist, told CNN. Her death followed several years of health challenges, including a diagnosis, revealed publicly in late 2022, of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or ALS. The progressive condition, often referred to as Lou Gehrig’s disease, made it impossible for Flack to sing, her representatives said at the time.
Lady finger, dipped in moonlight /Writing “What for?” across the morning sky/ Sunlight splatters, dawn with answer/ Darkness shrugs and bids the day goodbye by Worriedman
The bad news is that the “city-killing” asteroid currently headed our way probably won’t hit us. Even if it does, it won’t be here until 2032 which gives Donald Trump, who probably thinks you destroy an asteroid with Preparation-H, and Elon plenty of time to destroy this world first. It looks like they’re going to reach Fort Knox (because they want to make sure it’s still there) before the asteroid does.
Asteroid Schmasteroid…we have MAGA.
The asteroid, 2024 YR4, is 180 feet wide which is about as close as you can get to Donald Trump before you get a whiff of his diaper. 180 feet is also plenty of room for Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck to land a space shuttle and drill a giant hole into which a nuclear device would be placed. The film Armageddon was based on sound science, right? I refuse to believe Billy Bob Thornton would allow himself to be cast in a junk science movie. Steve Buscemi, maybe, but not Billy Bob. And I’d trust Bad Santa over Bad Batman any day.
George Clooney was the George W. Bush of Batmans. We all hated Clooney but wanted him back after seeing Affleck do it…just like we wanted W back after Trump came along.
And what’s the deal with the name? Why do asteroids get shit like “YRV” and hurricanes get names like Laura (see what I did there?)? Even pets get more respect than asteroids. I knew a cat named Don Cheadle. Since asteroids can destroy our planet, which I’m assuming most of us will hate, let’s name them after actors we hate.
Asteroid Seth Rogan was given 1-32 odds of blasting into us and with the right amount of luck, it’d hit MAGA-Lardo. Then, Seth Rogen’s odds dropped to 1-67. It’s OK to use Seth Rogen here. If he gets lost in space, we’ll be just fine because we still have Jonah Hill who’s basically the same person but with an Oscar. We don’t need two Seth Rogens. Also, Michael Cera and Jesse Eisenberg, same person.
Now, the odds of city-killing Seth Rogen slamming into the planet are 1-360, which are a lot slimmer odds than Seth Rogen’s The Interview destroying the planet because it really pissed off nuke-loving Kim Jong Un. And if there is a city-killing asteroid headed this way, why couldn’t it have arrived before I saw Seth Rogen’s Green Hornet? Oh, the humanity! Say what you will about the Cats! movie but it didn’t nearly destroy the planet.
Asteroid Seth Rogen has a 0.28% chance of destroying us all. The next city-killer headed our way is Asteroid 1950 DA or as I like to call it, Asteroid Kevin Hart (and if you think he’s annoying now, go watch his Peacock talk show), which has a 0.039% chance of impacting Earth in 2880.
These asteroids can’t get here soon enough to wipe out Trump, Musk, Seth Rogen, Kevin Hart, Nickelback, or DJs. You know how DJs put new beats into songs, making them even worse than they started. Last night, a friend dragged me to a bar where a DJ was making a Nickelback song even more torturous, which I didn’t think was possible. I once broke up with a girl because she believed DJs were musicians. DJs are musicians about as much as Gary Varvel is a journalist.
Since these unreliable asteroids aren’t cooperating, it’s up to us to save our nation from MuskTrump.
I bet MAGA-Lardo has a DJ.
Creative note: I was planning to do this cartoon yesterday but decided Kash Patel should come first.
Scottie's Playtime 