Losing a pet is a unique kind of heartbreak, one that can feel both profound and invisible. To help bring comfort, we spoke with Patricia Denys, MFA, a compassionate voice in the world of pet grief and healing.
Patricia is an artist, animal activist, creative director of Animal Culture magazine, educator, yogi, vegan, and an interfaith, interspecies animal chaplain ordained by the Compassion Consortium. She’s also a great friend of MUTTS.
In this conversation, Patricia shares her perspective as an animal chaplain on navigating loss, offering support, and finding gentle ways to honor the journey. Whether your pet recently crossed the Rainbow Bridge or you’re reflecting on a loss from long ago, we hope this conversation brings you some clarity, comfort, and connection.
Understanding the Role of an Animal Chaplain
Can you explain what an animal chaplain does?
An animal chaplain helps animals live their fullest lives and helps them transition when it is time. They offer help to animal parents, animal care workers, and animal people in general, navigate stress, grief, and compassion fatigue. Animal chaplains also encourage stronger human-animal (interspecies) bonds, individually and communally. Animal chaplains offer help with end-of-life care, decisions and rituals (interfaith), and bereavement support. An animal chaplain is also there for celebrations and victories for all animals and our planet!
How did you become an animal chaplain, and what drew you to this work?
Our magazine, Animal Culture, interviewed Reverend Sarah Bowen, co-founder of Compassion Consortium and Executive Director of their Animal Chaplaincy Training Program. The program is interfaith, interspiritual, and interspecies, which was important to me. Sarah was a wonderful interviewee, and I became quite interested in the program after connecting with her. It seemed intriguing and intelligent, and an organic next step on my path of a lifetime working with animals. It was quite a commitment of study and well worth it. My fellow students were amazing, compassionate people. It was a very positive experience.
What kinds of support do you offer to people who are grieving the loss of a pet?
The first thing is listening, while being a calming presence for different needs from different people. Using gentle questioning to see what arises for someone. Reminding people that laughter is good and healthy, and part of healing. And, working on realizing that one does not stop loving someone after the transition.
Hospice and Palliative Care for Companion Animals, edited by Amir Shanan, Jessica Pierce, and Tamara Shearer, is an excellent book. In one of the essays, the writer calls mourning, “…a transition from loving in presence to loving in absence.” We work on that as animal chaplains.
Why Saying ‘Goodbye’ to a Pet Is So Painful
Why do we often feel that losing a pet is just as painful — if not more so — than losing a human loved one?
Those of us who have experienced the pain of the loss of a companion animal, or any animal, know this pain all too well. Humans have intense bonds with an animal they love or one that is a part of their lives somehow. Animals’ lives are shorter than humans’. The shock of that short life being over can be very hard to process.
Companion animals also demonstrate stability and routine. A big void is created when these things come to an end. Animals are sentient. They are aware. We see that time and time again. We want to be with them and protect them; they are our family.
How can we respond to people who say, “It was just an animal” or who don’t understand pet grief?
It is very disappointing to hear, “It was just an animal,” from anyone, especially someone you respect or that is close to you. It is the last thing anyone wants to hear since it is so insensitive to one’s feelings and to the memory of the one who has passed. What someone grieving needs is validation that their feelings of loss for such a profound bond with an animal, are understandable and real. You may choose to say that or not.
What are some healthy ways to process and express grief after losing a pet?
Definitely seek support from friends, family, your veterinarian, and/or an animal chaplain. Animal grief is in our mainstream now. There is no shame in asking for help, ever. One needs to talk about the loss. It’s real.
Consider taking a workshop on animal loss or creating a shrine, memorial, art piece, or photo book. Volunteering is also a great, healthy way to heal.
Do you have any advice for someone who feels stuck in their grief or like they should have “moved on” by now?
“Moving on” is a very individual thing. There is no time limit on processing through one’s grief. Accepting the loss and adjusting one’s life accordingly takes time. You need to take your time. If you feel that you are experiencing symptoms of prolonged grief, a therapist can be of help.
Helpful Ways to Honor a Pet’s Memory
How can rituals or memorials help with healing? Do you have any suggestions for meaningful ways to honor a pet’s memory?
Oh, there are so many wonderful things you can do! Humans have always embraced rituals. It is a way to connect to something. A ritual may be something within your religious practices, your own spirituality that you find comforting, or the daily ritual of taking a walk with your dog. That is a ritual for both of you!
A memorial can be a powerful took for healing. It is a coping tool. It is a way to process. Creating an altar on a table for the one you have lost that includes photographs, something that was meaningful for that animal such as a toy, or adding flowers can be a positive expression of your feelings of loss. Re-wilding a small garden that encourages other animals to visit, or creating a small shrine you can carry with you are other ideas. Keeping a journal of your thoughts or sketches can also have a profound effect on healing. The simple act of writing to your loved one — what they meant to you, how much they are missed, what you enjoyed most about them, for example, is often a comfort.
As an artist and a teacher of art, I know creating art can be cathartic and healing, I conduct art workshops on loss and celebration of animals and the planet. They are for non-artists especially. It has been an incredible experience to see what people can create as a way to work out their feelings, and usually, how anxious they are to share with each other. It is a bonding experience about the power of love.
(snip-a bit MORE; click through on the title above)
Also, to commemorate the final day of PRIDE month 2025, here’s an historic dance music video to celebrate. No matter what, we should never not dance again! 🎶 🌈 🎶 🫶
June 30, 1966 The first GIs—known as the Fort Hood Three, U.S. Army Privates James Johnson, Dennis Mora and David Samas—refused to be sent to Vietnam. All were members of the 142nd Signal Battalion, 2nd Armored Division stationed at Fort Hood, Texas. The three were from working-class families, and had denounced the war as “immoral, illegal and unjust.” They were arrested, court-martialed and imprisoned. The Pentagon reported 503,926 “incidents of desertion” between 1966 and 1971. 1961-1973: GI resistance in the Vietnam War View their pamphlet Ballad of The Fort Hood Three Pete Seeger
June 30, 1971 The 26th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, lowering the minimum voting age to 18 in all elections, was ratified after ¾ of the 50 state legislatures had agreed to it, a mere 100 days after its passage by Congress.
June 30, 1974 The Selective Service law, authorizing the draft, expired, marking the official end of conscription in the U.S. and the beginning of the all-volunteer armed forces.
June 30, 2005 Spain legalized same-sex marriage by a vote of 187-147 in parliament. Such couples were also granted the right to adopt and receive inheritances. Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero spoke in support of the bill, “We are expanding the opportunities for happiness of our neighbors, our colleagues, our friends and our relatives. At the same time, we are building a more decent society. Read more
June 29, 1925 The South African parliament passed a bill excluding black, coloured (mixed race) and Indian people from all skilled or semi-skilled jobs.
June 29, 1963 A mass “walk-on” (trespass) was organized at a chemical and biological warfare facility in Porton Down, England. These weaponized agents had been researched and produced there since 1916; it’s now known as the Defence Science and Technology Laboratory. Protesters demand an end to germ warfare in 1963 at Porton Down (Getty) Unconscionable activities at Porton Down (From 2004)
June 28, 1916 A one-day strike by 50,000 German workers was organized to free Socialist anti-war leader Karl Liebknecht, charged with sedition for his criticism of the government and the war later known as World War I. He was the first ever to be expelled from the Reichstag, the German parliament, voted out for his opposition to Germany’s role in the war. ——————————————————————————————————— June 28, 1969 Patrons at the Stonewall Inn, a gay bar in New York City’s Greenwich Village, being subjected to routine anti-homosexual harassment by the New York City police raiding the bar, spontaneously fought back in an incident considered to be the birth of the gay rights movement. Riot veteran and gay rights activist Craig Rodwell said: “A number of incidents were happening simultaneously. There was no one thing that happened or one person, there was just . . . a flash of group, of mass anger.” About Craig Rodwell A group of drag queens, who had been mourning the death earlier in the week of Judy Garland, mocked the police and threw things at them, and police were forced to retreat into the bar as the crowd of supporters grew; disturbances continued for days. The bar is now on the National Register of Historic Places. Stonewall and all it has inspired —————————————————————————————————- June 28, 1987 The Iranian Kurdish town of Sardasht was attacked by Iraqi aircraft with chemical weapons during the Iran-Iraq War. Saddam Hussein had started the war expecting an easy victory against the new Shiite Islamic republic, even though Iran had three times the population. Victims of the mustard gas attack on Sarsasht, Iran ——————————————————————————————————- June 28, 2005 Seen in New York City on June 28, 2005
June 27, 1905 The IWW (Industral Workers of the World) was founded in Chicago.
June 27, 1954 The first atomic power plant opened at Obninsk, Russia, near Moscow, and could generate up to 5 megawatts. The plant was ordered by Josef Stalin and—being graphite-moderated and water-cooled—could be switched to plutonium production in case it was needed. The facility was shut down in 2002.
June 27, 1954 Military action directed and funded by the CIA (Operation PBSUCCESS) forced the resignation of the Guatemalan President, Jacobo Arbenz Guzman. Winner of the country’s first election under universal suffrage, and having taken office in the country’s first peaceful transition of governments, he was accused by the U.S. of Communist influence. Following the coup d’etat, hundreds of Guatemalans were rounded up and killed. Jacobo Arbenz Guzman Between 1954 and 1990, human rights groups estimate, the security forces of successive military regimes murdered more than 100,000 civilians, including genocide against Guatemalan native peoples. More about Arbenz The CIA’s own documents on the action
June 27, 1973 President Nixon’s former White House counsel, John W. Dean, III, told the Senate Watergate Committee about Nixon’s “enemies list.”He released a 1971 memo, written by presidential advisor (now Rev.) Charles Colson, proposing the use of “available federal machinery to screw our political enemies.” John Dean Twenty persons were to be subjected to IRS audits, litigation, prosecution, or denial of federal grants, and an additional list contained 200 names of other individuals and organizations considered enemies of the administration. The complete Enemies List and memos from Colson The president’s misuse of government agencies and powers, in pursuing those he saw as his political enemies, was the basis for one of the articles of impeachment that forced Nixon from office.
June 27, 1978 Seven citizens of the Soviet Union sought refuge in the American Embassy in Moscow as escape from government oppression of religious minorities. The Pentecostal Christians, known as the Siberian Seven, from two families, the Vashchenkos and Chmykhalovs, spent months in the basement of the embassy awaiting permission for all family members to emigrate to the U.S. One of their sons was already in prison for defying the military draft, and another was about to reach conscription age. Recently released from prison, Baptist Pyotr Vins was twice assaulted by police after trying to arrange his family’s emigration. His father Georgi, national leader of dissident Baptists, though due for release from a labor camp, faced five additional years of Siberian “exile.” The leader of a breakaway Seventh-day Adventist group was sentenced to five years of hard labor at age 83.
June 27, 1980 President Jimmy Carter signed a measure that required approximately 4 million U.S. men age 18 to 25 to register for the military draft, and all 18-year-old males thereafter. If there were to be a crisis, registered men would be inducted as determined by age and a random lottery.
June 27, 1986 The International Court of Justice (“World Court”) decided that the United States violated international law as well as its bilateral Treaty of Friendship, Commerce and Amity with Nicaragua through its use of force against the Central American country. This included a trade embargo, the mining of harbors and bombing of airfields, as well as furnishing financial, military and logistical support to the so-called Contra insurgents. The Contras’ goal was to overthrow Nicaragua’s popular left-wing government. The Court also ruled that the U.S. should compensate the country financially.The Reagan administration had originally contested the standing of the Court to rule on such an issue, and it had walked out of Court after losing the ruling on jurisdiction, despite its treaty obligation to appear. The Court’s judgment to act had been decided 11-3 on almost all counts, those voting for the U.S. position being an American, a British and a Japanese judge. THE WORLD COURT IN ACTION by Howard N. Meyer More about the Court’s decision
June 26, 1894 Mohandas Gandhi (center) as a young lawyer in Durban, South Africa in 1894 Mohandas Gandhi, a young Indian lawyer from Porbandar in Gujarat province, urged the Natal (a province in South Africa) India Congress to run a campaign of education and peaceful noncooperation to assert and protect their rights as ethnic Indians in South Africa. Within days of Gandhi’s arrival in South Africa the previous year, though he was a British subject and South Africa was under British rule, he had been thrown off a train, assaulted by a white coachman, denied hotel rooms, and pushed off a sidewalk because his skin color defined his status and limited his rights. “Truly speaking, it was after I went to South Africa that I became what I am now. My love for South Africa and my concern for her problems are no less than for India….” – Mohandas Gandhi, 1949
“Gandhiji was a South African and his memory deserves to be cherished now and in post-apartheid South Africa. The Gandhian philosophy of peace, tolerance and non-violence began in South Africa as a powerful instrument of social change . . . This weapon was effectively used by India to liberate her people.” – The Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. [King used the same techniques to combat racism in the U.S.]
“We must never lose sight of the fact that the Gandhian philosophy may be a key to human survival in the twenty-first century.” – Nelson Mandela, in his speech opening the Gandhi Hall in Lenasia, South Africa, September 1992 [source: anc.org.za] Mohandas Gandhi, 1949]
Also known as Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi was born on October 2, 1869, in Porbandar, India. He was known to the Indian people as Mahatma, meaning great-souled, a person revered for high-mindedness, wisdom and selflessness. Ghandiji adds a suffix to the last name to show respect. He was also known as Bapu which means great father.
June 26, 1918 Pacifist and socialist organizer Eugene V. Debs was arrested for having given an anti-war speech in Canton, Ohio, ten days earlier. He was charged with “uttering words intended to cause insubordination and disloyalty within the American forces of the United States, to incite resistance to the war, and to promote the cause of Germany,” This last was despite his repeated and vehement criticism in the speech of Germany and its landed aristocracy, known as the Junkers. “And that is war in a nutshell. The master class has always declared the wars; the subject class has always fought the battles.The master class has had all to gain and nothing to lose, while the subject class has had nothing to gain and all to lose — especially their lives.”
June 26, 1945 On the stage of San Francisco’s Veterans Auditorium (now known as the Herbst Theatre in the center of the War Memorial Veterans Building), delegates from 50 nations signed the United Nations Charter, establishing the world body as a means of saving “succeeding generations from the scourge of war.” The U.S. Post Office issues a commemorative envelope. The Germans had just surrendered to the Allied forces in April; the war in the Pacific continued. Read the Preamble (included is full text of the Charter) Collection of photos from Founding of the UN – San Francisco Conference (I love looking at these photos! -A.)
June 26, 1955 Flyer used to promote the Freedom Charter The South African Freedom Charter was adopted at the Congress of the People at Kliptown near Johannesburg. “We, the People of South Africa, declare for all our country and the world to know that South Africa belongs to all who live in it, black and white, and that no government can justly claim authority unless it is based on the will of all the people . . . .” The Congress of the People in Kliptown Text of the Charter:
June 26, 1963 President John F. Kennedy addressed 120,000 West Berliners and concluded his speech, “All free men, wherever they may live, are citizens of Berlin, and, therefore, as a free man, I take pride in the words: “Ich bin ein Berliner!” The East German government had stopped all travel and commerce between the Soviet-controlled and the American/British/French-controlled parts of the city in 1961. west. John F. Kennedy, West Berlin, June 26, 1963 They then built a 166 km-long (103 miles) wall to separate the two Berlins and to stop emigration from east to west. Watch the speech
June 26, 2003 The U.S. Supreme Court found a Texas “anti-sodomy” law unconstitutional, overruling, and apologizing for, the 1986 Bowers v. Hardwick decision. The 6-3 decision in Lawrence v. Texas said that citizens have the “right to liberty under the Due Process Clause gives them the full right to engage in private conduct without government intervention.” Text of the decision
A Ukrainian lawmaker nominated Donald Trump for a Nobel Peace Prize, and has now withdrawn it, saying he had ‘lost any sort of faith and belief” in Trump and his ability to secure a ceasefire between Moscow and Kyiv. The mystery here is why ever had “faith” or “beliefe” in Donald Trump in the first place?
To believe in Donald Trump, you either have to be a cultist who does not live in reality, or have previously taken a tack hammer to the head.
The Ukrainian official, Oleksandr Merezhko, said Trump is “evading—he is dodging—the need to impose sanctions on Russia.” That’s because he’s Putin’s beyotch. Has Merezhko not been paying attention all these years?
Pakistan submitted a formal recommendation for Trump to receive the Nobel Peace Prize after saying his “decisive diplomatic intervention and pivotal leadership” stopped its recent military spat with India over Kashmir. Although India stated there was no need for external mediation on the Kashmir issue, playing down Trump’s role. Factor in that India’s leader is a Trump fan.
But now, just a day after recommending TACO for the Nobel Peace Prize, it’s condemning him for attacking Iran, saying the strikes “constituted a serious violation of international law” and the statute of the International Atomic Energy Agency. Pakistani Prime Minister Shehbaz Sharif, in a phone call Sunday with Iranian President Masoud Pezeshkian, expressed his concern that the bombings had targeted facilities that were under the safeguards of the IAEA.
Today, Georgia GOP Rep. Buddy Carter has formally nominated Trump for a Nobel Peace Prize, writing to the committee that it’s “in recognition of his extraordinary and historic role in brokering an end to the armed conflict between Israel and Iran.”
But, Buddy…you don’t negotiate peace by bombing somebody. Also, the peace deal isn’t working. Israel accused Iran of violating the deal, and Trump got upset, probably because further escalation would ruin his pretend chances of winning a Nobel Peace Prize. Also, you don’t win a Nobel Peace Prize by bombing a nation that’s never attacked you.
Trump said, “We basically — we have two countries that have been fighting so long and so hard that they don’t know what the fuck they’re doing.” Oh, and you do, TACO?
Buddy didn’t nominate Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize because he believes it would be deserved. Like Pakistan and the Ukrainian guy, Buddy is using the prize to kiss Trump’s ass. Pakistan and Ukraine both turned around and said Trump doesn’t deserve it, which they already knew. Maybe they should buy him planes. Buddy, I don’t know what you want from Trump, but can you buy him a plane?
Of course, Republicans are praising Trump for a peace deal with Israel and Iran, but why? There are no conditions or terms. Neither nation has given any concessions to the other. Has Iran agreed to abandon its nuclear program? No. Even if they did, why would it be more trustworthy than the deal Obama already made with Iran that Trump destroyed, which was working? Did Israel give Iran any concessions, like maybe abandoning its nuclear program that nobody wants to talk about?
Trump’s peace treaty is like the TEMU of peace treaties. It’s going to break just as soon as you start playing with it. (snip-MORE)
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NATO Making Careful Preparations To Keep Baby Trump Entertained During Tomorrow’s Big Summit by Rebecca Schoenkopf
Wouldn’t want him to get bored or stomp out and demand to go home or anything! Read on Substack
This morning, Donald Trump was angry. One would imagine that after ending all wars forever with his flawless execution of the ceasefire between Israel and Iran, he just wanted to have a nice celebratory night, while SecDef Pete Hegseth drunked and belched around the White House residence in a sexy teddy singing “Nobel Peaaaaaaace Biiiiiiiiirthday, Missssteerrrrr [HIC!] Prezzzzdinint!”
Alas.
Instead it appears Israel and Iran stopped shooting long enough to let President Dumbass get on Truth Social and declare flawless victory, before they got right back to shooting at each other. It’s gotta be tough pretending to be the leader of the free world when none of the world, free or otherwise, has any respect for your leadership. (snip-MORE, and it is good!)
With Trump’s strikes on Iran and all the other shitstorms his administration has caused, the anniversary of American women losing their reproductive rights isn’t going to get a great deal of press. Here’s just one link to what abortion bans mean for women after the Supreme Court decision. There are plenty more.
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Inside the queer pop-up parties you’ll never want to leave
Glitter sparkles across people and surfaces, rainbow-colored acrylic nails snap in time to the Afrobeat, and boisterous cheers egg on the occasional dance floor death drop. These are moments that make up spaces created for and by queer and trans people of color (QTPOC). From Los Angeles to Philadelphia, New York City to Atlanta, queer community organizers, DJs, musicians and artists are producing monthly pop-up events that attendees and organizers say are reimagining queer liberation through collective joy.
Events range from underground warehouse raves like Hood Rave in Los Angeles to sunlit day parties and potlucks featuring patio yoga. Regardless of format, the trappings of queer life and culture are evident everywhere you look — necklaces made of popper bottles; chest harnesses as fashion; flags; fans; cheeky political statements across nails, hats and tees. The recognition of Black and Brown queer experiences is often apparent in event titles, like New York City’s notorious Papi Juice dance party and Los Angeles’ weekly Toxica event for sapphic Latine queers.
These parties also frequently double as advocacy work, where they highlight mutual aid campaigns, promote queer causes and spread political awareness. In recent years, DJ shouts of “Free Palestine” are frequently met with affirmative cheers from dance floors dotted with keffiyehs and watermelon imagery. QTPOC parties are also changing the tunes of gay nightlife from the pop/EDM/disco variety to a musical mix of hip-hop, trap, house, reggaeton, soca and Afrobeats.
“Everybody is able to see themselves in the music and feel safe here,” said Terri Flamer, who attended the Soulovely prom in Oakland, California, in May. “That’s probably the best thing about it, is you’re safe to be yourself, you can party, you meet people that don’t look like you and it’s all love.”
Queer dance parties also enable the ecstatic experience of group dance, which can be understood as its own form of activism. Maya Bhardwaj, a scholar studying the global influx of such parties in the last decade, called them queer utopias that center: “healing, mental health, ancestral faith practices, queer Black and Brown music and dance traditions, and spaces for activists and cultural workers to gather beyond mainstream bars and nightlife.” Mission statements from QTPOC dance party organizations often invoke terms like “affirmation,” “celebration” and “sustaining.“
While queer nightlife as a space of resistance isn’t new — it has its roots in AIDS activism of the ’80s — the intersectional community building and intention brought to crafting these spaces makes the current slate of QTPOC parties feel fresh. Often exclusionary White male gay spaces are frequently the only options for LGTBQ+ nightlife, and the pop-up event has become a go-to to address a lack of gatherings that feel welcoming to QTPOC folks.
There’s this sense of pain shared among QTBIPOC […] and therefore the joy that is experienced at these parties feels more necessary, more dire and more of a relief.”Nicole Prucha
Pop-up spaces provide “a feeling of safety in being able to trust that the people who are there have experienced or understand what it is like to be othered, in a sense apart from our sexuality,” said performance studies scholar Nicole Prucha about her experience attending Los Angeles QTPOC parties. As a queer Arab person who has often struggled to find places where she feels truly seen, Prucha said parties like Casual, Hot Pot and its sister event HabibiPot fill a vital need for queer people of color: “A place of refuge and queer world-building” at a time when LGBTQ+ rights are under attack.
Terri Flamer attends Soulovely’s prom, held in the 14th season of Oakland’s QTPOC-centered monthly party. (Manuel Orbegozo for The 19th)
Event organizers are often working with limited resources amid challenging financial situations. Five queer BIPOC coordinators — Kike Ayorinde, Camryn Casey, Madi Dalton, dRi Guillén and Leslie Tellería — produce community-funded Lavender Evolutions (LE) events in D.C., and the ticket sales for each event contribute to the next event. In a collective statement, the organizers shared that they are largely unpaid but, “We do give core organizers small payments to cover things like gas, food during events, and the many hours of labor leading up to an event.” The LE organizers acknowledge that “money is a huge barrier and we could always use more of it, but for us, it’s more important that we have events that are financially accessible.”
They keep ticket prices below $25 to achieve that aim but struggle with the financial load of creating these pop-up spaces. The organizers say they are often unable to meet the market rates of DJs and other collaborators due to tight budgets, while logistical support frequently comes from community members willing to volunteer their time to assist with check-in and ticketing. Another challenge they face is making their work in building queer community attractive to funders. “Grant makers don’t always understand the scope of the work that we do and why it’s so important, especially in this moment,” organizers said.
Despite the challenges, organizers said the work is worthwhile. “We do experience burnout but we rely heavily on the collective,” the organizers said. “More than anything, we prioritize people. For our core organizers, it’s a delicate balance because our time and energy is limited. We’re all balancing our full-time jobs, life and Lavender, but the love of community keeps us going.”
They need us, we need them. It’s not always about the bottom dollar, sometimes it’s about building community and the dollars come after.Sgt. Die Wies
The 19th sent photographers to queer pop-up parties and events in Oakland, Washington, D.C., and Atlanta to show these spaces of radical queer joy in action and highlight the work that queer organizers are doing to build QTPOC community across the country.
OAKLAND
Soulovely has brought QTPOC-centered “cultural affairs” to the Bay Area for 14 years
Many attendees of Soulovely’s prom said it was a first for them, providing queer and trans people of color (QTPOC) an opportunity to attend a prom in a safe and community-based setting. (Manuel Orbegozo for The 19th)
Soulovely is a beloved and long-lasting pillar of queer life in the Bay Area. Since 2011, its monthly events have served as a safe haven for a predominantly BIPOC queer community to celebrate their identities and bodies through music and dance. “I actually just found out that a loved one passed. So coming here was kind of like in honor of them as well, because they love to dance, I love to dance, we met out dancing — it brings people together,” said Mello-Jahlil Travis, who attended Soulovely in May.
Burlesque producer and performer Sgt. Die Wies attended the Soulovely queer prom on May 11 and says she thinks the space provides an opportunity to be “solution-based versus just focusing on the negativity. “ (Manuel Orbegozo for The 19th)
Attendees and organizers both are often quick to point out these spaces are not about excluding White, straight or otherwise non-QTPOC people. Rather they are about radical inclusion and belonging. Sgt. Die Wies, a burlesque producer and performer who attended the Soulovely queer prom in May, said that the party is all ages with a variety of ethnicities coming out to be together:“It’s beautiful to see because there’s so much division in the world right now.”
Mello-Jahlil Travis (they/them) said the Soulovely Prom gave them an opportunity to have a different prom experience. “I’m stoked to be here amongst other beautiful queer people. It’s important to be able to see people who look like you be themselves and feel free. There’s not everywhere that I feel like I can have my nails painted and dress like this. It’s dope to be around people who can receive that.” (Manuel Orbegozo for The 19th)
While all are welcome, Jaycee Chang especially appreciates the way Soulovely centers queer and trans people of color. “It is both a space of joy and being a community but also, it’s a relatively politicized space where they’re very intentional about the artists that they bring in, the DJs, the themes,” Chang said.
And that can even extend to their families.
“One of the DJs who helped host HabibiPot [in Los Angeles], her mom was there to watch her first DJ set and she played Arab classics that my own mom had introduced me to,” Prucha said. “They’re both Palestinian, and her mom was there, standing on the tables with the rest of us, and she was crying because she was so happy that her daughter was there and had found community.”
Tiara Reed (left) met her now-fiancée Chenelle Reed (right) at a Soulovely event and said “it’s so significant to have spaces where unapologetic joy and levity and freedom are welcome and everyone can just bask in it.” (Manuel Orbegozo for The 19th)
These spaces also provide opportunities for LGBTQ+ people to meet each other beyond dating apps. A 2020 Pew Research Center study reported that lesbian, gay and bisexual people were both more likely to use online dating and more likely to experience harassment through dating apps than their straight counterparts.
Soulovely is always part of our story.”Chenelle Reed
Ahn Lee feels safe at Soulovely parties because harassment is far less likely. “I feel like no one’s gonna try to come at me in a way that doesn’t feel comfortable,” Lee said.
Since 2011, Soulovely events have provided a safe haven for the queer BIPOC community in the Bay Area. (Manuel Orbegozo for The 19th)
And for others, like Tiara Reed and Chenelle Reed, Soulovely has become a character in their love story. Reflecting on the experience of meeting her now-fiancée, Tiara, at Soulovely and their future together, Chenelle said, “It’s going to be absolutely beautiful, because we have places like this … where you can connect and learn that anything is possible, family in all the ways is possible.”
Jaycee Chang (they/them, right) with their partner Ahn Lee (she/they, left), has been coming to Soulovely for over a decade. Chang said: “Even when the world is chaotic and there’s a lot of harm happening, we can come together as a community and create spaces that feel like refuge, like safety.” (Manuel Orbegozo for The 19th)
ATLANTA
Southern Fried Queer Pride builds QTPOC community through education and embodied healing
Grassroots collective Southern Fried Queer Pride (SFQP) — now in its 11th year — focuses its events toward “artivism” with a stated mission to fight narratives that confine Southern LGTBQ+ people to “stigma, statistics and struggle” instead aiming to uplift an “honest narrative of resilience, rich history and vibrance.” SFQP offers year-round programming, typically providing between 40 to 60 events that feature community education — like the upcoming trans health care workshop — as well as gallery shows, marches and dance parties, such as its June trans cabaret and open mic.
Maya Wiseman (left) and Magdalena (right) have both volunteered for SFQP for years and say organization offers a space of respite and community connection for them. (Piera Moore for The 19th)
Community organizer Maya Wiseman said the May 18 SFQP Community Potluck was an alcohol-free and masks-required event to further expand on their inclusiveness, which has become a hallmark of SFQP events. “Queer folks have been marginalized throughout time, but often queer folks, whether they know it or not, naturally end up creating safe spaces for everyone,” said Wiseman, who has worked with SFQP as a community organizer for six years. “We try to create spaces that say ‘come as you are,’ because we’re not having this at a club. If you want to come here in pajamas, in a tank top and shorts, it’s fine with us.”
Southern Fried Queer Pride offered yoga at its May 18 community potluck in Atlanta. (Piera Moore for The 19th)
Atlanta’s queer community is very easy to navigate, and SFQP is a big reason why.”Magdalena
WASHINGTON, D.C.
Lavender Evolutions and Alphabet Soup make space for QTPOC joy at summer day parties
Alphabet Soup Events uses a tiered ticket pricing system that recognizes the systemic financial issues queer and trans people of color face to increase racial diversity across its attendees. (Mariah Miranda for The 19th)
While not explicitly centering QTPOC, Alphabet Soup events, like the recent Daisy Dykes pool party, are “sapphic-focused” and find other ways to make their events inclusive and accessible for queer people of color. Tickets are available at different price tiers, with some lower-cost tickets allotted for BIPOC attendees.
A couple dances together at a pool party by Alphabet Soup Events. (Mariah Miranda for The 19th)
Adu Ogbagiorgis has witnessed a big shift in the racial makeup of Alphabet Soup parties after the organizer started this pricing practice, which they see as a welcome recognition that “Black queers have a different experience than White queers.” For Ogbagiorgis, this approach to ticketing shows they want people of color to come to the events. “So it’s really awesome to see that a lot of more predominantly White spaces are making space for Black queers,” they said.
Mackenzie Bolden said they can be themselves at Alphabet Soup events. “I feel like I can just embrace my skin, embrace my personality, embrace my queerness, embrace everything that is me. And that’s something I treasure and will never take for granted because of how often I don’t feel that way.”
Lavender Evolution’s SWEAT party featured a wet t-shirt contest at on June 8 in D.C. (Mariah Miranda for The 19th)
Lavender Evolutions hosted a daytime beer garden pop-up called SWEAT on June 8 that featured a wet T-shirt contest, a water balloon toss and little cabanas filled with the sounds of multiple kikis.
Ciara Bridges whips out their fan while attending Lavender Evolution’s SWEAT party in D.C. on June 8. (Mariah Miranda for The 19th)
Jojo Morinvil, who attended the SWEAT party, deeply values the way Lavender Evolutions has been intentional in their creation of space for queer BIPOC people to enjoy themselves. “They started out doing nature walks and book [clubs], then, as they grew, they really created safer spaces for folks to socialize, to get to know people and learn queer history, [along with] events where you can dance and party with your friends,” Morinvil said.
Couples and friends slow dance at Soulovely’s queer prom in Oakland on May 11. (Manuel Orbegozo for The 19th)
I truly believe that being whimsical will crush the patriarchy.”Sgt. Die Wies
Sgt. Die Wies points to the unabashed vibrance, love and joy experienced at parties like Soulovely as “things (that) are going to just crush the darkness. We’ve survived harder times than this. We’ve been bullied before. They ain’t got shit on us. There’s too many of us. There’s too much light and too much love and too much joy. We’ll be okay.”
Mariah Miranda, Piera Moore and Manuel Orbegozo contributed reporting.
June 25, 1948 The United States, Great Britain and France began the Berlin Airlift of food and supplies to the German city in defiance of the Soviet Union’s blockade of the roads. At the height of the Airlift, two groups of planes flew in four-hour blocks around the clock.While one group of aircraft was loaded and serviced, the other group was in the air. On the 264-mile route, 32 aircraft were in the air simultaneously. Supplies would be quickly unloaded and the aircraft would return for more food, fuel and other necessities for the 2.5 million West Berliners. It was the most ambitious aerial supply operation in history. The Soviet blockade was not lifted until the following May but the airlift continued for four months more. Berliners watch a plane involved in the Berlin Airlift bringing food and supplies About the Berlin Airlift
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