The last few days, I have been driving Ron from different stores to other places he wants to go. Yes he can still drive, but since the doctor talked to him about possible dementia he wants me to drive him everywhere. Plus I have caught him in several forgetful moments the last two days like forgetting to lock a door or forgetting to do something else important, he now shrinks like I hit him when I remind him of it.
It tears the shit out of me. I have never hit or abused Ron, but to see him cringe like I did as a child waiting for the blow … It is killing me. I find my self talking very gently around him, which then bothers him. I find myself checking up behind him like tonight he is cooking supper and I helped him get sauces out and small dishes. Then he noticed me checking the setting on the stove and oven.
That set him off, you don’t trust me. My response was Ron love you asked me what stuff we should get out and have with our supper. I feel this is a rollercoaster I am not prepared for as with my own memories of abuse hitting I go in and out of that same roller coaster. I can not have two of us cycling at the same time.
I have changed how I do my pills so it is clear and no doubt when I take them. I have added a note suggested by Suze to my desk reminding me to take my evening insulin. Again thanks to Suze I added a phone alarm to both Ron’s phone and mine that alert him to take his pills. It worked today, as I walked around trying to figure out why that sound was playing and Ron told me … it is time for me to take my pills.
Right now this is the best I can do. To say I am worried or scared is a large understatement. Please keep suggestions coming. Hugs
Oh a major issue has developed with my computers that I need to dump them and reset them to fix. But not today, not now, and hopefully I have a few days to do it. Tomorrow morning I have to get up at 5AM to get us ready for Ron’s brain scan first thing in the morning. Love to all that care about us, best wishes for all, and hugs for those that want them. Scottie
Scottie's Playtime 
Love, best wishes, and hugs back.
It will be OK. It will work out.
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Hi Ali. I can only hope so. Here is what happened. I got us up at the agreed time, got us out and to the place he had be, left him, got my own blood tests done, went back and waited for him. Then our plan was to hit first one nearby Publix, then go to Walmart, then to the Publix near our home then home. So we go to the first Publix. All went well and we had great success getting more of the only soda Ron wants me to drink. Ron has forbidden me to have anything with Aspartame. So I need a diet soda with basically Splenda sweetener. There used to be two brands and we could get them easily. Now it is down to one and it is hit or miss if we can get it. I take all I can get when I find them. So we did not get much at the first store and I was not worried as I figured next was Walmart for the big shop.
As we sat in the car after putting all the groceries in to the reusable bags Ron likes to us. Then as I started to back out I said Walmart here we come. Then Ron said let’s go home instead. I asked if he was feeling sick or was something wrong. No he answered … I forgot the grocery list. I stopped the car. I did the wrong thing. I know it, and I am ashamed I did it. But I looked at him and said “Ron you do know that was the entire reason we did this entire thing this way”? He said yes but he forgot the list. He then said we could go and he would try to remember the list. I said no, let’s stop at the Publix next to our home, buy stuff for lunch and supper and go home.
At this point I blame myself. Not him. Seriously I know he is struggling now. I hate to accept it but it is a fact. So I should have and will in the future take a picture of the grocery list with my phone. So tomorrow I again will be late getting to the blog as I get us ready and drive us to the stores with the list so we can grocery shop.
Ali I understand this is my life now. But more important it is Ron’s life for his future. I have to understand that and I have to act / adjust accordingly. But it is a struggle. I so wanted to say something biting when Ron told me he did not have the grocery list. I bit my tongue. I have a feeling I will be doing a lot more of that. I am being frustrated … but Ron is losing him. He has the harder part of this. Hugs
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I had a comment in my head for this, but then I commented on another one, so I’ll let that one stand. There will still be fine days for both, and each, of you, I know!
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Hi Ali. Thank you. We are having good days and bad ones. I may have already replied to the other comment, but the doctor looked at the MRI sent Ron a note saying that there was no need for urgent action and any questions / future actions can wait until the follow visit with them. Ron is going to ask if they still want him to see the neuropsychologist. He doesn’t want to do it. But do have good days, so far today has been one. And he is less worried and fearful. Hugs
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I hoped that’s what you’d find. Stress really exacerbates memory troubles! It can make a healthy brain seem a lot older right when everything everywhere comes in at once, or if a person’s just awakened from decent sleep, too. Now some of the stress is gone, and that is good!
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