National Guarding Caitlin by Clay Jones
Shut up and dribble Read on Substack
An appeals court is allowing Donald Trump to retain control of the California National Guard.
A three-judge panel of the San Francisco-based 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said Trump “probably” acted within his authority, and added that his administration “probably” complied with the requirement to coordinate with Governor Gavin Newsom, and even if it did not, he had no authority to veto Trump’s directive.
The panel, with two Trump-appointed judges and one Biden-appointed judge, is using “probably” a lot in their ruling. That’s probably a bunch of bullshit.
The law sets out three conditions that a president can federalize state National Guard forces; an invasion (which isn’t happening here), a “rebellion or danger of a rebellion” against the government (which isn’t happening here), or a situation in which the U.S. government is unable with regular forces to execute the country’s laws (another thing not happening here).
The appeals court said the final condition had probably been met because protesters hurled items at immigration authorities’ vehicles, used trash dumpsters as battering rams, threw Molotov cocktails, and vandalized property, frustrating law enforcement. There was that probably again. What about the cops shooting reporters? Which cop agency is enforcing that?
Yet, the governor never called the president (sic) to say that Los Angeles or California couldn’t execute the nation’s laws because ICE agents were having items thrown at them. And lately, ICE and Trump have been breaking more laws than protesters. Can we deploy a state’s National Guard to enforce laws on Trump?
The courts need to factor in that Trump deployed the National Guard to fight Californians. (snip-MORE, including Caitlin Clark)
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Isn’t It Ironic? by Clay Jones
Don’t ya think? Read on Substack
I was admiring the view from my buddy’s backyard late yesterday afternoon when a hawk, or some kind of bird of prey, almost flew into my head. What?
The backyard overlooks a ravine. So the hawk was flying as usual, but his height decreased as he approached the hill, him not approaching the ground but the ground coming to him, and the next thing you know, he comes closer to objects on the ground, in this case, me. Bear with me, I’m making a point.
This did not happen on Tuesday, but it did happen yesterday, which was Wednesday (there may be some MAGAts reading, and they probably can’t figure out how a calendar works). What I’m telling you is that yesterday, there was a 100 percent increase in hawks nearly flying into my head.
Of course, I’m exaggerating. While the hawk did make me jump as it came from behind, it was probably about 15 to 20 feet away. Still, it was at my head level, though it wasn’t ever about to slam into me. I still jumped, but my point remains.
Immigration and Customs Enforcement and the Department of Homeland Security have both claimed multiple times since May that there’s been a 413 percent increase in assaults against their agents to justify their wearing of masks to conceal their identities.
OK, DHS and ICE…since when? Since Trump took over the White House? I mean, gosh and golly gee wilikens, 413 percent is a lot. That is huge, right? You would think with such a huge increase in assaults that we’d hear more about it, especially since ICE agents are such huge victimized crybabies.
What action justifies being classified as an assault? I mean, if it’s the action New York City Comptroller and mayoral candidate Brad Landers committed when ICE illegally arrested him, then it’s not really much of an assault. When I was a kid, my mother used to threaten to beat me with a wet noodle. That threat of an “assault” never really scared me, and I was afraid of everything. The three things I was afraid of the most were sharks, tornadoes (before we even had Sharknadoes), and my mother. If you beat an ICE agent with a wet noodle, Kristi Noem would probably call it an assault.
I would have to know what kind of noodle would classify as an assault, only if it’s wet, of course. Would it have to be a spaghetti noodle, a linguine noodle, or a cork screw noodle? How about one of those Asian flat noodles? Maybe that could do some damage.
In a column for The Washington Post, Phillip Bump wrote, “That ICE uses a percentage is telling. A 413 percent increase could mean that the number of assaults went from 200 in 2024 to 1,026 in 2025 — or that it went from eight to 41.” Bump points out, “But there’s a big difference between an increase of 826 assaults and an increase of 33 — especially if some of those ‘assaults’ are of the Lander variety.”
If the assaults are of the Lander variety, then DHS and ICE are lying about the assaults. Also, if the assault by Landers was so bad, then why did ICE drop the charges, including assault, against him? (snip-MORE)
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