Pendejo Express

by Clay Jones

Be careful with what you ask for. You just might get it. Read on Substack

Stephen Colbert made a joke about people telling comedians after the Trump victory (gag), “At least you’ll have so much material to work with.” Cartoonists were sick of that comment back in 2016. One of my colleagues and friend, Ward Sutton, drew a cartoon about it. It’s something we hear all the time and I don’t think people truly understand it’s the last thing we want to hear. In fact, it was repeated to me last night at a party for writers.

We don’t want to hear it. It’s empty solace and goddammit, we hear it too often. I’m going to hear it again before the day’s over. I would rather my nation survive and not turn into a fascist state controlled by racist goose-stepping troglodytes than have great material from it. And by the way, the material’s not that great. Another fact is that Trump cartoons are bad for business. Editors are scared shitless of them.

What I’m getting to with this in regards to today’s cartoon is that after posting on social media about the comment, a few people told me they will need to laugh to avoid crying and that’s what my cartoons will give them. Yeah, except I think each of my cartoons since last Tuesday has been sad. Proofreader Laura told me that at least twice, and I didn’t argue with her (she’s really smart and perceptive). Others have told me the same thing. Someone told me they couldn’t even click like on one of my cartoons because it was so sad, and I’m not even drawing dead puppies.

My last few cartoons have been kinda sad, like this one, or this one, or this one. And now many will find today’s cartoon sad. The Latino vote certainly depresses me.

Why would any Latino other than George Zimmerman vote for a racist who’s been shit-talking you for the past decade? Hmm? I will never understand the appeal of Donald Trump.

While Harris won the Latino vote with 53 percent, about 45 percent of Latinos voted for Donald Trump. Why? Tommy Vallejos wrote a column for The Tennessean in Nashville to explain it to all of us liberal dummies.

Vallejo’s first argument is that voting for Trump doesn’t make him or other Latinos racist. I’m not going to call Latinos racists for voting for Trump. I’m going to state the fact that voting for Trump means Latinos voted for a racist. They voted for racism. Donald Trump is a racist and nobody can make a strong case that he isn’t.

Voting for Donald Trump, at the very least, means racism is not a dealbreaker for you, no matter what race you are. And while you may wonder why a Latino would want to shit on other Latinos, I would like to have about 60 percent of America’s white population deported. Let’s send them all to Liberia.

Vallejo’s major reason for being a Trumper is the economy, so he claims. But if Vallejo is an intelligent person, he knows that’s a lie.

He writes that most Latinos who voted for Trump were concerned about jobs and the economy, forgetting that the unemployment rate was 6.4 percent when Trump left office. Trump inherited President Barack Obama’s economy and fucked it up. He left office with fewer American jobs than there were when he entered. He’s the first president to love more jobs than he created since Herbert Hoover.

There is no evidence that Donald Trump can rebuild an economy. There’s only evidence he can destroy it.

Trumpers will claim that’s not Trump’s fault. It was Covid’s fault. If you’re going to make that argument then you can’t blame President Joe Biden for inflation. In case you weren’t paying attention, inflation hit the entire planet. High gas prices hit every nation. Vallejo, who forgets Trump’s final numbers, blames Biden for inflation. He’s making an extremely dishonest argument in voting for Trump.

And if you voted for Trump because of the economy, here are a few other facts can chew on with your lying mouth: Under Trump, the trade deficit went up over 36 percent. Trump’s promising even more tariffs so enjoy your 20 percent tax increase on imported goods, fuckers.
People lacking health insurance rose by three million, and that’s even with Trump failing to repeal Obamacare. What are they going to do now? How many Americans will lose healthcare coverage in Trump’s second term?
Vallejo argues that under Biden, the government spent “freely and indiscriminately,” yet under Donald Trump, federal debt went from $14.4 trillion to $21.6 trillion.
Under Trump, home prices increased nearly 30 percent while rising 20 percent under Biden.
Wages rose higher under Biden than they did under Trump.
The top 25 U.S. companies invested more than $900 billion in the economy, which is 40 percent higher than during the Trump regime.

Everyone who voted for Trump because the economy was their top concern should have voted for Harris.

Vallejos also argues that we need Trump to curb illegal immigration, but guess what, Buddy. In Trump’s last year, apprehensions at the southern border had a nearly 15 percent increase than President Obama’s last year in office. Even if you honestly wanted to reduce illegal immigration, do you really support deporting millions of people and tearing apart families by using the military? Seriously, Mr. Vallejo, how much do you hate Latinos?

Vellejos also cries that under Biden and with inflation rising, stagnant wages “failed to keep pace” and blames Biden for not reducing the tax and regulatory burden on “job creators.” But Trump’s huge tax cuts for asshole billionaires were still in place, so why didn’t corporate America come running to the rescue? Oh, yeah…trickle-down economics doesn’t work. Instead of cutting their own profits, Corporations jacked up prices and as inflation has been going down, their prices have not. In fact, Corporate profits continued to rise throughout the Biden administration. Exxon’s second-quarter profits this year were over $9 billion. Did they lower the price of gas at the fuel pumps? HAHAHAHAHA. You’re funny.

Despite Donald Trump tweeting in 2020, “If you want your 401k’s and stocks…to disintegrate and disappear, vote for the Radical Left Do Nothing Democrats and Corrupt Joe Biden,” the stock market did better under Biden than Trump. Fact fact fuckity fact fact.

The S&P 500 has posted a compound annual growth rate of 14.1 percent from Biden’s November 2020 election to the beginning of this month. The market returns under Biden are the second best in modern history, only trailing behind Bill Clinton’s, gasp, another Democratic president.

Vallejo accused Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris of “fumbling” the economy which makes me think he doesn’t watch football and doesn’t know what a fumble is. Is it when the cheerleaders kick the ball?

Vallejo also wrote that Latinos voted for Trump because they are “supportive of the rule of law and desire an orderly process.” Now you gotta get the fuck out of here. Vallejo, like most MAGAts, is a liar who suffers from memory loss. Hello? January 6, fake electors, electoral fraud, 11,780 votes, stolen documents, assaulting women, corruption, violating the emoluments clause, etc. If you truly desire the “rule of law,” Mr. Vallejo, call the Trump team now and demand that he doesn’t fire Jack Smith.

Shockingly, Vallejo didn’t include that he voted for Trump so boat batteries would be lighter, the boats wouldn’t sink from their weight, and sharks wouldn’t eat you while you’re flapping around in the water.

At the end of his bullshit designed as a column for a newspaper’s opinion page, Vallejo writes, “Most importantly, we love the USA and cherish freedom and opportunity.” So you voted for the treasonous fuck who’s a subordinate of Vladimir Putin? You voted for the asshole who gave Putin classified information. You voted for our nation’s greatest national security threat who has been secretly talking to Putin since we fired him in 2020. You voted for the guy who says he wants to be a dictator, quoted Hitler, and said he wants to delete the Constitution.

Every reason Vallejo gives for voting for Trump is bullshit. That means I don’t know why in the hell Trump won 45 percent of the Latino vote. I just hope that when it burns them, they fucking get it.

And Mr. Vallejo, I changed my mind. You are a racist. It’s like anytime when someone says, “I’m not a racist, but…”

And hey, at least I have so much material to work with now.

Creative note: I drew most of this yesterday and all I had to do this morning was color it. I was all like, “Yay, I’m done by 1 p.m. and now I can go watch football…right after I write this blog. It’s now 3 p.m. Are my Saints winning?

Music note: I listened to Buddy Holly. I will never get over the hiccup thing he does at the start of Rave On.

(snip-More)

sanewashing and wishcasting: how the press continues to fail us

by Jeff Tiedrich

if we all click our heels together three times, everything will be okay Read on Substack (Language NSFW, as always with Jeff Tiedrich’s writing)

the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled media utterly failed us during the 2024 campaign season.

New York Times executive editor Joe Kahn came right out and said it: defending democracy is a ‘partisan act,’ and we won’t do it — and, fuck us all, the press kept their word, and didn’t do it. they enthusiastically put their fingers on the scale for Donny Convict.

arguably, the media’s worst transgression was the sanewashing — the cleaning-up of Donny’s incomprehensible blitherings, to hide his obvious cognitive disintegration and make him sound coherent.

a minutes-long disjointed word-salad about how tariffs on Chinese goods were going to lower the cost of childcare became “a major economic speech.”

Donny’s inability to keep his increasingly-demented mind on the topic at hand — his crazypants pinballing from they’re eating the dawgs to Hannibal Lecter wants to have you for dinner to would you rather be eaten by a shark or electrocuted — was explained away by Donny as his brilliant “weave.”

that explanation, to The New York Times, “did all sort of seem to make sense.”

post-election, the media has mostly moved on from sanewashing, and has now jumped feet-first into wishcasting.

what’s wishcasting? over to you, Wiktionary.

[Wishcasting is] the act of interpreting information or a situation in a way that casts it as favorable or desired, despite the fact that there is no evidence for such a conclusion; a wishful forecast.

sure enough, the media has now gone into overdrive, churning out piece after piece in which they promise us that if we all click our heels together three times, everything will be okay.

not twelve hours after the election had been called for Donny, the Times wasted no time in assuring us that the election of a vindictive fascist is an amazing opportunity for vindictive fascism not to happen.

as I wrote three days ago,

the New York Times can fuck all the way off.

what kind of magical, everybody-gets-a-pony thinking is this? just fucking stop it.

did Ezra Klein and Ross Douthat both experience some kind of recent head trauma that has caused them to forget the years 2017 through 2020? Donny’s first presidency was a dumpster fire of corruption, mismanagement and mass death — but somehow now, given a second chance to fuck shit up worse, Donny’s going to bring us an “American renewal”?

anything’s possible, right? overnight, Donny Convict could magically become a wise and fair statesman — also, technicolor pigs could fly out of my ass.

oh my god, the media never stops imagining that Donny is going to somehow become presidential. during his first term — over and over — every time Donny stopped short of taking out his dick and pissing on the floor, the press would fall all the fuck over itself in a mad dash to proclaim him presidential.

spoiler alert: Donny never became presidential. not from the the first time he threw a ketchup-hurling tantrum in the White House, to the moment he absconded back to his Florida golf motel, taking with him boxes of stolen classified documents.

now, what the small-batch artisanal fuck is this?

the premise here is that if we’re respectful to Donny — if we fucking kowtow to him, and stop opposing him — he’ll be nice to us in return. he’ll become — dare I say it? — presidential.

Stop indulging the fantasy that outrage, social stigma, language policing, a special counsel, the Twenty-Fifth Amendment, or impeachment will disappear him. And stop talking as if normal political opposition is capitulation.

Everyone should normalize Trump. If he does something good, praise him. Trump is remarkably susceptible to flattery.

Mike Luckovich, explain to the nice people at the Atlantic why they’re living in a fever-swamp fantasy world.

news flash for Newsweek: Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski are not going to save us.

okay, I will grant that Newsweek may be half right. Lisa Murkowski seems to genuinely loathe Donny, and we can probably count on her to vote against the worst of his fuckery — but Susan Collins? the credulous naïf who assured us over and over again that Donny had learned his lesson, and would never transgress again?

now, let’s bask under some rays of hope from people who aren’t just blindly wishcasting, but are actually offering reasoned arguments.

in the middle of a fairly clear-eyed assessment of the Trumpian horrors to come, the Guardian gives us this:

Elaine Kamarck, a former official in the Bill Clinton administration, said: “For him to expand presidential power, Congress has to give up power and they’re not in the mood to do that. They’ve never done that. There are plenty of institutionalists in Congress.”

Kamarck also expressed faith in the federal courts, noting that judges appointed by Trump only constitute 11% of the total placed on the bench by former presidents. A Trump dictatorship is “not going to happen,” she added. “Now, there might be things that the president wants to do that people don’t like that the Republican Congress goes along with him on but that’s politics. That’s not a dictatorship.”

here’s Tom Nichols, in a piece titled Democracy Is Not Over.

Paradoxically, however, Trump’s reckless venality is a reason for hope. Trump has the soul of a fascist but the mind of a disordered child. He will likely be surrounded by terrible but incompetent people. All of them can be beaten: in court, in Congress, in statehouses around the nation, and in the public arena. America is a federal republic, and the states—at least those in the union that will still care about democracy—have ways to protect their citizens from a rogue president. Nothing is inevitable, and democracy will not fall overnight.

here’s Adam Serwer, from There Is No Constitutional Mandate for Fascism.

Americans cannot vote themselves into a dictatorship any more than you as an individual can sell yourself into slavery. The restraints of the Constitution protect the American people from the unscrupulous designs of whatever lawless people might take the reins of their government, and that does not change simply because Trump believes that those restraints need not be respected by him. The Constitution does not allow a president to be a “dictator on day one,” or on any other day. The presidency will give Trump and his cronies the power to do many awful things. But that power does not make them moral or correct.

I sure hope to fuck they’re right.

This is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means disengaging with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

Have Some Friday Comics

Also, a question. On Kids Baking Championship, one of the items required is a chocolate-dipped item. One young baker decided to use butterscotch instead of chocolate. They tempered it, they dipped their item, and presented it. When asked about it, since it wasn’t chocolate, they stated that their technique was the same, and the item was dipped; also, that the butterscotch right there among the chocolate in the same area of the pantry.

So. While chocolate is not butterscotch and vice-versa, does this item count as a chocolate-dipped item? Discuss in comments.

Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for November 08, 2024

Calvin and Hobbes Comic Strip for November 08, 2024

https://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2024/11/08

Frazz by Jef Mallett for November 08, 2024

https://www.gocomics.com/frazz/2024/11/08

FurBabies by Nancy Beiman for November 08, 2024

FurBabies Comic Strip for November 08, 2024

https://www.gocomics.com/furbabies/2024/11/08

Jim Benton Cartoons by Jim Benton for November 08, 2024

Jim Benton Cartoons Comic Strip for November 08, 2024

https://www.gocomics.com/jim-benton-cartoons/2024/11/08

Monty by Jim Meddick for November 08, 2024

https://www.gocomics.com/monty/2024/11/08

Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for November 08, 2024

Non Sequitur Comic Strip for November 08, 2024

https://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/2024/11/08

More memes to show what I think of what is happening.

CDN media

Somebody’s Gotta Do It!

Arlo and Janis by Jimmy Johnson for November 07, 2024

Arlo and Janis Comic Strip for November 07, 2024

https://www.gocomics.com/arloandjanis/2024/11/07

C’est la Vie by Jennifer Babcock for November 06, 2024

C'est la Vie Comic Strip for November 06, 2024

https://www.gocomics.com/cestlavie/2024/11/06

Heathcliff by Peter Gallagher for November 07, 2024

Heathcliff Comic Strip for November 07, 2024

https://www.gocomics.com/heathcliff/2024/11/07

Anyone feel like more memes

A comment I saw elsewhere:

“As an American, I’m out of fucks to give for my fellow Americans. It’s been almost 10 years to see who he really is, and 3/4 of us either LIKE that or are too ignorant to care.

Don’t come crying when your loved one gets beaten by a police officer and they face no charges.

Don’t come crying when a friend/family member gets raped and the baby can’t be aborted, nor if they suffer a miscarriage from a pregnancy and bleed out because they can’t get medical help.

Don’t come crying when the Supreme Court is packed with 2 more far right corrupt justices and more lifelong rights start to vanish.

Don’t come crying when Ukraine aid stops and, if the rest of the world doesn’t pick up the slack, Russia takes even more land and continues killing more people.

Don’t come crying as the deficit explodes from corruption and the economy crashes as Trump lines his own pockets.

Don’t come crying when our education system bottoms out because Elon guts the government so that, combined with project 2025 ending all abortion care, poor people are forced to raise lots of stupid babies to run his factories.

Don’t come crying when worker protections are cut and overtime pay is all but eliminated.

Don’t. Complain. To. Me. I’ll ask who you voted for and then laugh in your fucking face. ‘But. But. I didn’t think. . . ‘

‘Of course you didn’t fucking think. You voted for him. Well, we tried to tell you. We tried to reason with you. We tried to compromise, but no. You just had to take your stand on whatever single fucking issue.’”

It was still something shoved up your ass while strangers watched.

Let’s do more memes

Another One

Free Range by Bill Whitehead for November 05, 2024

Free Range Comic Strip for November 05, 2024

https://www.gocomics.com/freerange/2024/11/05

I make it a point to look at only comics over breakfast on BP check days. Calvin always gives a good one, always. Most of the toons I read are funny and non-topical. It is unfortunate that I can’t help but see the one featured comment under the comics; I can report that even on GoComics, the entire world is watching the US today with bated breath.

So, I can’t get my diastolic under 70. I like 66-69. (I’d like a little lower, but I’m not 17 anymore!) Anyway, that’s the Election Day morning report from the Redford manse. I prescribe the best chocolate everyone can get, enjoyed in small bites allowed to melt before swallowing. Plenty of clear, non-carbonated fluids, too. It really, truly helps. Let’s all enjoy the day where we are-it’s exactly where we’re supposed to be.

I’m ba-a-ack…

OK, so it didn’t take me this long to eat lunch; I’ve had some other things to do, and wanted to let the first post settle a bit. Since I got that all out, some of my urgency has abated, though I still want to tie the subject up, until/unless there are comments where we can discuss and enjoy however long we want.

Lunch was brunch. My plate was frambled eggs with toast. I know I said it wasn’t a cooking post, and look what I’m doing. When I make frambled eggs, I cook the eggs as if for over-easy (yolks runny, whites cooked.) Turn the eggs when it’s time, let them get a bit of heat on that side, then gently drag your spatula through, to break the yolk and drag the white through the yolk. My personal goal is not a hard-cooked yolk, but what I guess they call a jammy yolk; you get a bit of liquid, even, but it’s not drippy. You just keep gently lifting and turning until you like the consistency of the eggs. I had whole wheat toast, and oatmeal that I apple-pie spiced, and sweetened with honey. We’ve been having a rain “event,” so I’d got the laundry to the laundry room to run and to dry between/before rains.

Our laundry room is at the front of our front carport, front being the direction the front end of the car points; we park in front of the laundry room. Our house is a whole post in and of itself, but not quite as Scottie’s and Ron’s house; they may run theirs by crisis and we rarely have a crisis, but their house is nicer and more modern than ours. Also, while Sat. and Sunday are fitness rest days, I still do 10 min. every hour on the rebounder to get my steps. So, lunch hour took a little while. It’s a rest day! 😎 And the first day of Standard time, so everything’s a little later because our bio clocks are still running on Saving time. 🕰

So, up till the 15th of October, I was all,

FoxTrot by Bill Amend for November 03, 2024

FoxTrot Comic Strip for November 03, 2024

But I’m past that, and have said enough about the election, really, I think. I don’t know who can’t use a Calvin fix, so:

Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for November 03, 2024

Calvin and Hobbes Comic Strip for November 03, 2024

I wonder if everybody has that one or two commercials that the last time it airs cannot come too soon. For me, right now, (and I know the winter holidays commercials are coming…) it’s that Wegovy commercial. I just want it to stop. Interestingly, while I’m not a big fan of Big Pharma, one of the ads I enjoy, all its versions, is the Jardiance ad! It makes me dance. Well, the newest one’s tempo is too slow for fun dancing, but it’s still a nice ad. This is neither a plug for or against either drug. Those have their place and may be discussed with a person’s doctor. This is just about the ads. The ones that use music from my youth especially tick me off, so I just ignore them and dance to their background music. I hate that King Harvest’s “Dancin’ in the Moonlight” is one that’s been appropriated. It’s been one of my top favorites forever, and they can’t take it away from me!

I turned all the clocks back last night, except one. But our son came out, noticed, and said, “Aren’t we supposed to turn the clocks back? The bathroom clock is an hour fast.” Truly, I’d turned the clocks up. I find the semi-annual time change abhorrent and stupid, but I disdain Saving time the most, because there goes another hour of my life, every year, that doesn’t come back, not really, so I guess changing the clock put me in a negative mindset and I went the wrong way. Anyway, it’s been enough years of my life now that I don’t care which we have, we simply need to pick one and be done. I don’t change the analog clock in the kitchen; it’s over the kitchen table, and I can’t reach it unless I stand on the kitchen table. Some day there could be a reason for me to stand on the kitchen table, but I’m not doin’ it to change the damn clock. The guys will get tired of it sooner or later, and I have the stove clock. And my Fitwitch on my wrist.

Well, that’s a sort of round up of trivia and drift. I hope readers have enjoyed it, at least smiled or giggled, and maybe feel a little better.

We can do this stuff. It’s still way too early to let Republicanism mess with our mental health.