The doctor said I am a bunny personality, or was

I forget what year it was, maybe 2012 or 2013 I was being treated by a doctor for my abuse. I forget what he was titled, but he was the mind / personality doctors. After testing and sessions of talking, he said I had a bunny personality unable to protect myself, with the bunny personality that kicked in that made the bunny protect those who were smaller or more vulnerable than me being attacked, even to the point of sacrificing my self. In other words, I think he was saying I was unable to protect my self but will try to find ways to protect those who I feel are in danger. I wonder if he said the second part just to shore up myself esteem as I never really felt I had a protector role. In fact, I sort of got used to the idea I was to suffer to take the pain issued to me.

Please remember, this was before Ron knew of most of my abuse, he only knew I was hurt as a kid, and it was by the family I grew up in. I was scared to tell him what was happening, his job and mine were our income. If I told him Ron would have reacted, would have been angry, would have stopped it but I was worried we would lose our jobs and our income.

There was a reason I was back in treatment, but the short story is I was being sexual assaulted at work. One of the male nurses, a larger guy, thought it was cute and funny to grab the gay guy by the dick, touch his ass, and push him in to a wall or counter and press themselves into me while fondling my penis. My supervisors found out it was happening by accident because another male nurse who today would be the typical maga republican threaten to kill me in front of everyone for being gay and when I had to be interviewed by HR and legal it slipped out what the other guy was doing. So the company insisted on sending me to a psychologist for examination / treatment. Side note I should some day describe the meeting it was surreal with them makings sure nothing blocked the door or my path to it, repeatedly telling me I could leave, and if I felt unsafe or upset to tell them, kept asking me if I need a break or wanted someone with me … I mean I like the feeling behind what they were doing, but it was over the top in my opinion. But maybe they were trying to prevent a sexual assault claim against the hospital.

But the real point of the post and what I was so happy and excited over is, when I told Randy what was happening and what the doctor said my personality was, Randy sprang into action. My wonderful friend, the brother I never had growing up, sent me a tee shirt I wore until I wore it out. I wore it everywhere. It was something I took great joy in.

It was a Psycho Bunny tee shirt with this logo

And I don’t know if you can understand the power this tee shirt gave me. I may be a bunny, but I was now a bunny with teeth. Randy kept telling me that maybe as a child I couldn’t stop the abuse, but now I had power, skill, and support such that I could protect my self. The shirt and the feeling behind it was every empowering. It was what I needed then to help me. And Randy was always there to help me, uplift me, and keep me from despair as best he could. I love Randy, I loved the tee shirt, I love the idea behind it. Yesterday and today I keep reminding myself … I AM A PSYCHO BUNNY, AND I HAVE TEETH, HEAR ME ROAR! Even if right now it is coming out as a squeak. Hugs, Scottie

Memories, Ron, tears.

Short update. When Ron got home from shopping, he sensed something was wrong. He asked me about it. I told him briefly I had some more intrusive memories. He was quiet and then said when we put the groceries away we will talk. After we got done I went and sat down, I was not sure that I wanted to tell him, I had hid so much for so long. He asked if I wanted to talk and could he know what was upsetting me. We sat and talked, I told him the new memories, the details that were flooding my brain, the feelings I was experiencing with them. Every time I got to points where I would be too upset to talk, starting to cry he would tell me to slow down, breathe, take your time. Then when I got it all out, I couldn’t look at him. He softly said I needed to distract myself, and I explained how that was what I was trying to do but that wouldn’t help me heal or get over anything, we both knew from experience. I told him I needed a few minutes alone and he gave me that. When I came out he walked slowly to me and held his arms out, and I grabbed him, I clutched him. He held me back and kept telling me they were gone, they couldn’t hurt me anymore. Finally, I stepped back and said to him, but that is where you’re wrong, the memories don’t stop. The feelings don’t stop. And when I remember the abuse, I also feel the abuse. He pulled me to him and held me tight. He had no words, and I don’t have any either. I know eventually I will share this with all of you who want me too or are able to deal with it. I have learned that talking about it does help in a weird way. Yes it hurts at first, deeply intently, but ignoring it makes the pain build and become much worse.

For some reason at first when I was telling him I thought Ron was going to reject me as he started looking away. Then after I now realize he was struggling not to cry and with his anger, both which would have hurt me had he shown them. He has gone to lay down for a nap, talking to me about it first. I feel weird again. I know he will be watching me, he will be worried. Did I do wrong to tell him? Should I have hidden it, gone back to the days before he really knew much? Now my doubts are creeping in and trying to take root.

I am not going to proofread this for errors. Sorry, I do need to step back. Please overlook them or if they are important call me out in comments. I have spine shots tomorrow at 10. I have to get my mind in a better place, I have to find peace. Hugs. Scottie

Another few intrusive memories hit, new memories of abuse. So hard the last 6 months.

Know I am safe. Ron is grocery shopping, but I have people to contact. Please understand once I got past the shock and could deal I texted Randy. But he is at work and the boss, so I am OK enough not to need his time, even though he offered. He is so grand, if the abused people ever had the same set-up as the AA / friends of Bill, he would be the world’s best sponsor. I am not in a safe enough mind place to tell everyone about the new memories / fragments. I have just stopped crying because I wanted to type and forced my attention on the keyboard. Every time I try to type what I remember, I fall apart. But part of me knows to turn to the computers, to Scotties Playtime, to focus hard on this … what ever this is. Because if I don’t the vortex may come. Even the thought of it just started body reactions I am struggling to control. Part of me is trying to deny the memories, to force them back into forgetfulness, to put them back in that chest wrapped with chains thrown into the deepest part of the ocean … but … I know enough to understand I can not heal or maybe even really deal with them until I am able to write them, to vocalize them, to accept them and then conquer them with all the strength of the person I am. I have to get the emotions under control. I want to slide into despair, wondering if it will ever stop, to what if I lose control, to wanting to hide, to crying / shaking / scared when as an adult right now in my home I have no reason to be afraid. I think that now that Ron knows so much more when he gets home, I should tell him about this. My instinct, what I have always done, is hide it from him. But maybe it will help if I tell him. Anyway. Got to go, everything hurts, I … Just have to go. Love and hugs. Scottie

Epstein’s List!! | Christopher Titus | Titus Podcast

The True History of Male Gay Brothels

Same sex relationships and male gay brothels were normal until Christianity took hold. Then the bigotry started. Sexual activity was an accepted part of everyday life, until regressive repressive Christians ruined it for everyone. And they are still at it today. Hugs

Welcome back to 🤪Crazy Histories🤪
As long as humanity has existed, there have been physical and romantic relationships between people of the same gender. And like straight people, those of varying sexualities have also looked for release in more promiscuous places. They say the oldest job in the world is prostitution, and these gay brothels that date from antiquity to modern day certainly prove that… #ancienthistory #historydocumentary #homosexual

These WILDLY Delusional Stories Told by Conservative Will Make Your Head Explode

As conservatives become more radicalized and grow more detached from reality, their perception of the world is changing as well. In this video we’ll look at several delusional claims made by conservatives.

Lauren Boebert’s “Family Values” | Armageddon Update | Christopher Titus (BEST OF 2023!)

Klanned Karenhood Lady Has Her Own Sex Tape, Go Figure

Klanned Karenhood Lady Has Her Own Sex Tape, Go Figure

Tengrain has a great post on the hypocrisy of the family values republican crowd. Well worth the visit. Hugs. Scottie

GOP Rep: “Good Conservatives” In Congress Are Being Blackmailed Over “Naked Motel Sex” With Strangers

GOP Rep: “Good Conservatives” In Congress Are Being Blackmailed Over “Naked Motel Sex” With Strangers

We know that tRump hung out with mobsters, and acts like a mob boss wannabe. The maga cult is all thugs and gang bangers who want to rule by force in might makes right violence. I have often looked at how fast Lindsey Graham went from tremendously anti-tRump to in one gold game with tRump coming out a whole owned servant to tRump’s and a person willing to do crazy things to support the hard right. We know many republicans are owned / paid by Russia. That may include blackmail as this congress person admits. If you watch the video, he says the people behind it want to control the world. He claims Jeffery Epstein was killed as he was blackmailing people, both men and women, selling that information to foreign intel agencies, and he knew too much while not being useful behind bars. Hugs. Scottie

December 21, 2023

“Why in the world would good conservatives vote for crazy stuff like what we’ve been seeing out of Congress? Here’s how it works. You’re visiting, you’re out of the country or out of town or you’re in a motel or at a bar in DC and, whatever you’re into – women, men, whatever — comes up and they’re very attractive and they’re laughing at your jokes. And you’re buying them a drink. Next thing you know, you’re in the motel room with them naked.

“And next thing you know, you know you’re about to make a key vote. And what happens? Some well-dressed person comes out and whispers in your ear, ‘Hey, man, there’s tapes out on you.’ Or, ‘Were you in a motel room or whatever with whoever?’ And then you’re like, ‘You really ought not be voting for this thing.’

“You know? And what do they do? It’s human nature. And, you know, no man or no woman actually is an island. And they know what to get at. You know, if it’s women, drugs, booze, it’ll find you. And they say, and in most elected offices, and that’s what people of power and influence do.

“And it’s just, you know, I’ve been in this game my whole life. I spent 16 years in the state legislature in Tennessee and eight years as county mayor. And now I’m in my fifth year in Congress. But it’s just — the stakes are higher. But the game is still the same.” – GOP Rep. Tim Burchett, speaking to far-right podcaster Benny Johnson.

The clip is cued up.

Pollos Hermanos ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ15 hours ago

He’s gonna get Cawthorned.

MrRobotoLA Pollos Hermanos ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ15 hours ago

Sounds like he’s on, or knows plenty of politicians, who will be on the Epstein list.

Todd20036 Pollos Hermanos ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ 15 hours ago edited

Cawthorn was turned out because of the gay thing..No other reason

Paddycakes2001 Pollos Hermanos ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ10 hours ago

Yep.

Ninja0980 Pollos Hermanos ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ15 hours ago

Only way he’ll leave Congress, as his district is one of the reddest in America.

JCF 15 hours ago

LOL, that’s shockingly honest!

“whatever you’re into – women, men, whatever”

Even a sexy, sexy sheep: “good conservative” bed-buddies, all!

You Again? JCF13 hours ago

It’s so honest that I think he might have some personal experience with these scenarios.

And, what he’s into is the “whatever”. No proof, just a hunch.

Sam_Handwich 15 hours ago

Who amongst us isn’t guilty of a few treasonous motel romps?

Victor Sam_Handwich15 hours ago edited

Some say you were seen loafing in the lobby of the Motel ~~Sex~~ Six.

fuzzybits 15 hours ago

There’s nothing wrong with it unless you’re trying to pass laws to prevent others from doing the same thing.

Todd20036 15 hours ago

Someone is feeling guilty about having sex with someone he shouldn’t have

But honey, trump raped a kid, raped an adult, and cheated on his wives

So I’m pretty sure sexual blackmail isn’t the reason congress republicans have gone full Nazi

clay Long Tom15 hours ago

And how many out of town motel trysts are necessary for one or enough of them to be honey-traps? His explanation doesn’t sound like he’s made any attempt at monotony, I mean monogamy.

(((GC))) – End the filibuster! clay 14 hours ago

“Responsible nonmonotony” and “responsible nonmonopoly” are how Dr. Deborah Anapol riffed on “responsible nonmonogamy” in her (useful and otherwise quite serious) book Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits.

(It includes a chapter on various scenarios of “making the transition to polyamorous relating”. Easiest case: you’re currently single and unattached. Hardest: you’re in a monogamous relationship and one of you has cheated. In between: you’ve made a monogamous committment you wish you hadn’t.)

Professor Barnhardt 15 hours ago edited

You too, huh? I can’t tell you how many times this has happened to me. I’m walking along, minding my own business, and the next thing you know, I’m having naked motel sex with a stranger or strangers, depending.

It’s so inconvenient. I wish there were something I could do about that.

SkokieDaddy – wiener dog dad16 hours ago

Interesting that he only focused on conservatives votes being blackmailed this way. Could it be that those who constantly trying and regulate the sex lives of others are more likely to succumb to this kind of activity?

JCF SkokieDaddy – wiener dog dad15 hours ago

It’s like they say: DC prostitutes, male and female, LOVE it when Republicans become majorities in Congress. “…because Democrats don’t have to pay for sex.”

Randy503 JCF14 hours ago

Actually, DC prostitutes love it when the republicans and christians are in town for a convention. Business booms. They cry when the doctors are in town, because they never want to hook up.

RMJ Paula14 hours ago

Then WTF get into politics? If power, sex, and insider trading are eliminated from the game, why bother.

Debunking Israel’s “mass rapes” atrocity propaganda

This report is on the lies and atrocious propaganda of Israel and it’s supporters. Israeli authorities themselves have lowered the number of killed by Hamas to 1,000. The lies about all the babies killed was debunked as only one baby was killed by Hamas and the burned babies and others turned out to have been by Isra