Open Windows, Clay Jones

Caribou Fascists by Clay Jones

When’s the last time we heard from Sarah Palin? Read on Substack

The last time Trump and Putin held a summit, the two “presidents” met privately with only their translators present. Trump had a Russian translator, and Putin had one who could translate English and Word Salad. After the private confab, Trump took the translators’ notes, and some say he ate them, which is why he always travels with ketchup. Then they held a joint press conference where Putin didn’t have to deny that he meddled in the 2016 election, because Trump did it for him. During the summit, Putin gave Trump a soccer ball to give to his son and future serial killer, Barron, and Trump gave Putin his balls.

The International Criminal Court issued an arrest warrant for Putin in 2023 for war crimes, but just like Benjamin Netanyahu, he’ll visit the United States without any worries of Trump arresting him. Trump is too busy arresting black teenagers in the District anyway.

The major issue in this summit is ending the war, or at least obtaining a ceasefire between Russia and Ukraine, but they’re doing this without the involvement of Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelensky. Trump has done this before, making a deal with the Taliban for the US withdrawal from Afghanistan, without involving the government of that nation at the time. Don’t expect a peace deal to come out of this.

Maybe on the side, they’ll negotiate a new Trump Tower for Moscow. I mean, Trump negotiated business deals with Saudi Arabia, Qatar, and the UAE last time he was in the Middle East. Now I think that’s really going to happen. Maybe Putin will give him a used plane nobody else wants.

What will come out of it will be Donald Trump appeasing Putin and further embarrassing the United States in front of the world. Trump has already embarrassed us by choosing Alaska for the summit.

The US bought Alaska from Russia in 1867, which Russia has regretted ever since. Holding the summit in who-knows-where in Alaska gives Putin a nod that borders can change and land can be bought, sold, and conquered. Will Putin ask Trump to give Alaska back? Maybe he’ll convince TACO that it would be a historic deal. Or maybe Trump will trade Alaska for an Eskimo pie.

And no, we don’t know where in Alaska this summit is going to be planned. Will it be in Fairbanks, Juneau, or Anchorage? If it’s held in Sitka, it’ll be a huge gift to Putin, as that city was where the ceremony was held for Russia’s transfer of Alaska to America. Now, I think it’s going to be held in Sitka. (snip-MORE)

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Trump and his NFP hold a news conference by Ann Telnaes

The autocrat in chief announces his takeover of D.C.’s Metropolitan Police Department Read on Substack

O.T., Also Fun

Cover Snark!

Cover Snark: How Do Legs Work? (Diagrams Included)

(Seriously, go read this. You’ll get great laughs, and the oxygen will be so good for the brain! -A)

Snippet:

Amanda: Does she have to pee?

Claudia: Yes! Also, his left pant leg is missing?

Sarah: Why is the perspective weird? Their legs look so short and their heads are so large?

Okay taking another look, I think the angle of her hip looks too low.

So it looks like her legs are short and her midsection is bizarro long, and her head is sized correctly, just looks out of whack with the leg. (snip-I cannot overstate the gold: go read it! And no drinks over your keyboard… )

Dancing “Jerks”

(“Jerks” is a joke on another blog.)

Dancing cockatoos more common than previously thought

Velentina Boulter

White cockatoos on a tv antenna — A group of Little Corellas (Cacatua sanguinea), a species of white cockatoo native to Australia and southern New Guinea, perch on a suburban TV antenna. Credit: Lea Scaddan / Moment / Getty Images Plus.

A new study shows cockatoos in captivity dance more often than expected, with the birds pulling out moves like the “body roll” and the “moving jump”.

The researchers observed cockatoos showing off a total of 30 distinct dance moves. Some stylish birds showed off unique moves not seen in any other bird.

“The work suggests that playing music to parrots may provide a useful approach to enrich their lives in captivity, with positive effects on their welfare,” says lead researcher Natasha Lubke from Charles Sturt University, Australia.

Lubke and colleagues analysed 45 videos of cockatoos dancing that had been posted to social media.

Across the videos, the researchers established 30 distinct dance moves like the “headbang” or the “sidestep”. Of these dance moves, 17 had not been previously described scientifically.

The “downward movement” was the most common motion, appearing in 50% of the birds’ repertoire. Routines involving just wings, like “flapping” and “wings back”, were the least common.

Each cockatoo species had a unique top 10 most common dance moves, and the researchers observed that closely related species did not display similar dances.

Illustration of cockatoo dance moves — *Illustration of the 10 most common recorded dance movements. Ethogram descriptors based on Keehn et al. [3] and illustrations by Zenna Lugosi. Credit: Lubke et al., 2025, PLOS One, CC-BY 4.0.*

The researchers then followed up their initial video analysis by investigating the behaviour of 6 cockatoos at Wagga Wagga Zoo in Australia.

The cockatoos were then played either music, an audio podcast or no audio at all. All cockatoos performed dance moves whether there was music playing or not.

“I showed that dancing behaviour is more common in cockatoos than previously thought and was seen in 10 of the 21 cockatoo species,” says Lubke.

“My analysis also indicated that dancing is far more complex and varied than previously thought, recording 30 different movements seen in multiple birds and a further 17 movements that were seen in only one bird.”

Some of the dance moves observed were similar to those displayed by wild parrots when they are in the process of courtship. This suggests captive cockatoos may have redirected their courting dance toward their owners.

More research is needed to understand whether the cockatoos actually enjoy dancing in order to improve the welfare of captive cockatoos.

“The similarities with human dancing make it hard to argue against well-developed cognitive and emotional processes in parrots, and playing music to parrots may improve their welfare,” says Rafael Freire, a professor in animal behaviour and welfare at Charles Sturt University.

“Further research would be beneficial to determine if music can trigger dance in captive birds and serve as a form of environmental enrichment.”

All 30 of the cockatoos’ groovy dance moves are listed in the research paper published in PLOS One.

Originally published by Cosmos as Dancing cockatoos more common than previous thought

Some Comics That Gave Me A Giggle This Morning

(I wait on news in favor of comics in the mornings on BP days.)

https://www.gocomics.com/bliss/2025/08/05

https://www.gocomics.com/broomhilda/2025/08/05

https://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2025/08/05

https://www.gocomics.com/closetohome/2025/08/05

https://www.gocomics.com/darksideofthehorse/2025/08/05

https://www.gocomics.com/foxtrotclassics/2025/08/05

https://www.gocomics.com/jerry-king-comics/2025/08/05

As Good An Explanation As Any-

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

By Zach Weinersmith |

https://www.gocomics.com/saturday-morning-breakfast-cereal/2025/07/30

Clay Jones, Open Windows

Henchman Pam Bondi by Ann Telnaes

who prosecutes on behalf of Trump Read on Substack

Bondi tweet:

(original hanging in the Hay-Adam’s Off the Record bar)

My colleague KAL has also a post about the coasters he, Matt Wuerker, and I created for the bar.

(Note from A: Click through on KAL’s-you’ll love it!)

Irritating Screechy Blowhole by Clay Jones

Look, Europe! Our president (sic) is a raving lunatic Read on Substack

It’s one thing for Donald Trump to display his deteriorating mental state here at home, like ranting about lightbulbs or batteries so heavy that they sink boats to waiting sharks, but it’s another thing for TACO to go overseas and reassure our friends and allies that the United States of America has an insane racist at the helm (he howled about immigration into Europe).

While sitting next to European Commission chief Ursula von der Leyen, Trump went on a rant about windmills…again.

Trump said in a long-winded rant, “And the other thing I say to Europe, we will not allow a windmill to be built in the United States, they’re killing us. They’re killing the beauty of our scenery, our valleys, our beautiful plains. And I’m not talking about airplanes, I’m talking about beautiful plains, beautiful areas of the United States, and you look up and you see windmills all over the place, it’s a horrible thing. It’s the most expensive form of energy; it’s no good. They’re made in China, almost all of them. When they start to rust and rot in eight years, you can’t really turn them off, you can’t bury them, they won’t let you. But the propellers, the props, because they’re a certain type of fiber that doesn’t go well with the land, that’s what they say. The environmentalists say you can’t bury them because the fiber doesn’t go well with the land; in other words, if you bury it, it will harm our soil. The whole thing is a con job.”

Keep in mind, Trump’s Environmental Protection Agency is fighting its own power to fight Climate Change. Talk about a con job. (snip-yadayada [Trump] I mean MORE)

A Positive Way To Take Back Identity:

Black Indigenous Chefs Are Reclaiming Identity Through Food — One Dish at a Time by Michael Harriot

Black Native food workers are passing down culinary traditions, restoring lost connections and feeding body and soul. Read on Substack

Crystal Wahpepah (Photo courtesy of Crystal Wahpepah)

The Indigenous food movement has seen a renaissance in North America, with restaurant openings, cookbook releases and community initiatives that announce the presence, expertise and heritage of Indigenous food workers. Amidst this moment, Black Native food workers have seen both the beauty and the harshness of living at the intersection of Blackness and Indigeneity, as the dominant settler colonial culture of the United States often tries to erase or flatten all parts of their identities.

But those attempts at erasure have also provided moments of reflection and insight, and a realization that the mission of Black Indigenous food workers is profoundly spiritual and political healing work. For Stephan Oak, a Black and Lakota forager and woodworker who lives in Detroit, the threads of connection that Black Indigenous people hold in their family stories that are “steeped in violence, but also steeped in love and resistance” are also guides that allow them to connect in the past, present, and future — a shared cosmology.

Crystal Wahpepah, who is Black and Kickapoo and the executive chef and owner of Wahpepah’s Kitchen in Oakland, Calif., says that often, through representation and education, Black Native people in the food industry come to a deeper peace about their identity and heritage. At Wahpepah’s Kitchen, over cornbread dishes from the Ute and Kickapoo people, wild rice from the Great Lakes tribes and bison from the Great Plains, people often find themselves.

“I meet so many people who are Black and Native but never felt connected to their Indigenous side, and when they meet me, they start talking about it, about culture, about those things that have been lost,” she says. Wahpepah is also opening a new restaurant, A Feather and a Fork, which is also the title of her upcoming cookbook.

That loss is something felt in both Black and Indigenous communities and can often feel pronounced because of family separation through residential schools, land expulsions, the trans-Atlantic slave trade and the domestic slave trade that broke up Black families across the country. “Because of colonial violence, there’s a fractured relationship to home or your connection to your ancestors,” says Oak. “The intent of the colonizer is to stop you from looking … to accept the identity of the conditions they’ve placed on you.”

Food is one of the ways Oak and others are reclaiming autonomy over their identities, especially as governments use food as a weapon by depriving communities of affordable, culturally relevant food. Oak points out that even amidst food deserts on reservations and urban Black communities, people find ways to be more self-sufficient and connect back to the land, which helps them reconnect with the essence of who they are. (snip-MORE; lots more but not too long)

Crystal Wahpepah’s wild rice salad with strawberries and pecans (Courtesy of Crystal Wahpepah)

A Couple From Clay Jones

Bribed War Criminal by Clay Jones

Netanyahu is a murderer Read on Substack

Israeli Prime Minister is such a liar that even Donald Trump is calling him out. Hell, Marjorie Taylor Greene is accusing him of committing genocide. Ouch.

Bibi denied claims that he’s starving Gaza, and said, “There is no policy of starvation in Gaza, and there is no starvation in Gaza. We enable humanitarian aid throughout the duration of the war to enter Gaza – otherwise, there would be no Gazans.”

He’s a liar. Israel has bombed convoys bringing in humanitarian relief to Gaza, and it won’t allow aid from the United Nations to enter Gaza half the time.

The World Health Organization said Sunday there have been 63 malnutrition-related deaths in Gaza this month, including 24 children under the age of 5, up from 11 deaths total in the previous six months of the year.

Gaza’s Health Ministry puts the number even higher, reporting 82 deaths this month of malnutrition-related causes: 24 children and 58 adults. Yesterday, it said that 14 deaths were reported in the past 24 hours. The ministry, which operates under the Hamas government, is headed by medical professionals and is seen by the U.N. as the most reliable source of data on casualties. U.N. agencies also often confirm numbers through other partners on the ground.

The WHO also said acute malnutrition in northern Gaza tripled this month, reaching nearly one in five children under 5 years old, and has doubled in central and southern Gaza. The U.N. says Gaza’s only four specialized treatment centers for malnutrition are “overwhelmed.” Children are going days without eating.

Palestinians want a full return to the U.N.-led aid distribution system that was in place throughout the war, rather than the Israeli-backed mechanism that began in May.

55 trucks from the United Nations’ food program entered Gaza yesterday, and they were all looted by starving Gazans. There are also food drops, but that’s not enough.

Witnesses and health workers say Israeli forces have killed hundreds by opening fire on Palestinians trying to reach food distribution hubs or while crowding around entering aid trucks. The Israeli Defense Force says it has fired warning shots to disperse threats. But as we’ve learned throughout this war, the IDF lies.

The UN needs the IDF’s permission to bring food into Gaza, and they claim the military denies them over half the time. The Hamas police would protect the trucks from being looted by hungry Gazans, but they stopped after being shot at by the IDF. (snip-MORE)

Island Cheater by Clay Jones

Kicking his tiny balls Read on Substack

While meeting with the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, Kier Starmer, Donald Trump said he had been invited to Epstein’s Island, but that he turned it down and “never had the privilege” of visiting the island. It was right then that PM Starmer realized he was sitting with a lunatic who is most likely a pedophile.

Trump deflected to other people, saying, “I never went to the island, and Bill Clinton went there supposedly 28 times. I never went to the island, but (former Treasury Secretary) Larry Summers, I hear, went there, he was the head of Harvard. And many other people that are very big people, nobody ever talks about them.”

That word salad makes you wonder how much Adderall Trump snorted before his meeting with Starmer.

There are no records of Bill Clinton ever going to Epstein’s private island, so I don’t know where Trump got the number 28 from when he can’t even find one visit. The thing is, Donald Trump is a liar and a golf cheat. More on that in a minute.

Trump said, “I never had the privilege of going to his island, and I did turn him down. But a lot of people in Palm Beach were invited to his island. In one of my very good moments, I turned it down. I didn’t want to go to his island.”

All of Donald Trump’s moments are pretty bad, at least for other people. Saying you never had the privilege of visiting a pedophile’s island is not a good moment. Neither are the moments he flew on Epstein’s private jet, or the times he partied with Epstein while they were ogling young women. (snip-MORE)

A Couple From Clay Jones

Treasonous Cankles by Clay Jones

That damn Obama strikes again! Read on Substack

Of course, I’m just joking, but I might be starting something here. If MAGAts can believe in chemtrails (and they do), then they can believe President Barack Obama used Kenyan voodoo to give Trump cankles. They already believe in a lot of crazy shit.

The Trump administration claims that Obama committed treason by ordering an investigation into Russia collusion, but how is that treason? Who is it treasonous to, Trump? Is it treasonous to Russia? And how is ordering an investigation into an attack against our country treasonous? I think it’s more treasonous to ignore it or lie about it. It should be treasonous to take Putin’s side over America’s.

If Trump were president in World War II, and Russia had bombed Pearl Harbor on December 7, he would have called it a “hoax” and “fake news.”

Now, Trump is coming up with more bullshit to distract his zombies from the Epstein case. He’s howling for prosecuting Beyonce and Oprah. Even if what he was howling about was true, a president (sic) is supposed to let the Justice Department do its job, and leave it alone. Here, Trump wants the DOJ to prosecute Beyoncé and Oprah for supporting his political opponent.

MAGAts have been asking us, “How is Trump fascist?” Ordering the prosecution of your political opponents is just one example of fascism.

One final note: I do know that voodoo is not Kenyan. (snip)

Die, Die, UVA DEI, Die by Clay Jones

A board without diversity will hire the next UVA president Read on Substack

This was drawn for the FXBG Advance.

Abigail Spanberger will be Virginia’s next governor. Governor Glenn Youngkin knows this and has probably known throughout his regime that not only was he limited to one term, but so was his party. Just as Trump left things horrible for Joe Biden to clean up in 2021, Youngkin is leaving a mess for the next governor. With help from the Trump regime, one of those messes is at UVA, the University of Virginia.

As you may remember, Trump’s politicized Department of Justice, chock-full of goons, has forced out the president of UVA over DEI policies. They used his integrity against him, blackmailing him by withholding federal funds unless he resigned.

Now, UVA’s Board of Visitors will hire a new president. Unfortunately, the board is stocked entirely of right-wing fucknuts appointed by Glenn Youngkin, including former state Attorney General and member of the first Trump regime, Ken Cuccinelli. The board is nearly as White as the Trump cabinet. Even the two non-white members probably love them some mayonnaise sandwiches.

Trump has stripped funding for schools to implement his anti-DEI policies, which include shutting down student protests. Columbia University recently agreed to pay a $200 million fine to protect its funding, but lost a huge chunk of its independence to the Trump regime. (snip-MORE, and it’s very good!)

Open Windows, & Clay Jones

Mexican Coke by Clay Jones

And not the kind of coke Don Jr wants Read on Substack

Trump has tried several deflections from the Epstein Files, including revoking Rosie O’Donnell’s citizenship, forcing the Washington Commanders to change its name back to the racist one, claiming President Obama committed treason by ordering an investigation into Russia’s election meddling in 2016, and now Mexican Coca-Cola.

The Coca-Cola available in the USA is made with corn syrup. The Coca-Cola made in Mexico is made with cane sugar. A lot of people claim the soft drink made with sugar tastes better than the version made with corn syrup. I’m sure I had it when I was younger, but I don’t remember if it was better.

I do love Coca-Cola. I do think Coke in a glass bottle tastes better than it does in plastic. Sometimes, fountain Cokes, depending on where you get them, taste better than all of them. I grew up drinking Coca-Cola. (snip-MORE)

Gazans are starving by Ann Telnaes

Historical reflection Read on Substack

And a reminder since there will be people who try to change the narrative of this cartoon: Criticizing the Israeli government and its policies is not antisemitic.

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South Park Treason by Clay Jones

South Park hits Trump in his tiny penis Read on Substack

Back in 2000, the guys from South Park, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, created a new TV series titled That’s My Bush. Guess who it was about. While the series included topics like abortion, the death penalty, drugs, drilling in the Arctic Wildlife Refuge, and gun control, it was mostly a hit on family-based sitcoms, except this family just so happened to live in the White House. It came complete with an annoying neighbor. The main character, George W. Bush, would say to his wife, Laura Bush, “One of these days, Laura, I’m gonna punch you in the face!”

You would expect a show from the South Park guys about George W. Bush to rip the president apart. While it did make him out to be an idiot, he was also a lovable oaf with good intentions. He was not hateful, evil, or mean. Though it did hit Dick Cheney pretty good, and showed him commit a hostile takeover in one episode, and Bush temporarily became a Luchadore professional wrestler until he was restored to office. Critics loved the show, but it was too expensive for a small network like Comedy Central. It only lasted eight episodes. Even if it had been renewed, I’m sure 9/11, which occurred five months after the last episode aired, would have killed it.

The show was planned to be about a President Al Gore, but surprising Parker and Stone, Florida happened, so the entire thing had to be rewritten.

One thing that did not happen was outrage expressed by the Bush administration. I’m sure there were people in the White House who were aware of it, and either snickered at it or were outraged, but these were the days when most people in government were adults.

President Bush never stood in the driveway howling to reporters about the losers lampooning him on TV, or talked about low ratings, or how they were the stupid ones, not him, etc, etc. These were the days before social media, but I still don’t think Bush would have cried to his base on Twitter. The Bush administration ignored it. (snip-MORE)

Trump Train For Ghislaine by Clay Jones

What’s in it for Ghislaine Maxwell? Read on Substack

Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche, who used to be Donald Trump’s criminal defense lawyer, spent nine hours over two days interviewing Jeffrey Epstein associate Ghislaine Maxwell about the Epstein case.

Maxwell is serving a 20-year prison sentence for aiding Epstein in the sex trafficking of minors. As you know, the deceased pedophile committed suicide in a New York jail while waiting to stand trial.

The Justice Department has granted Maxwell “limited immunity,” just so long as she tells the truth. That “truth” will be what the Trump administration wants to hear. Trump’s name is in the Epstein Files…a lot. Attorney General Pam Bondi warned Trump before she announced the files wouldn’t be released.

Maxwell’s attorney, David Markus, told ABC News on Friday that Maxwell was asked about “maybe 100 different people” and “She didn’t hold anything back.” I’m sure she and her attorney have figured out what they need to say, which is what Trump’s criminal attorney needs to hear.

Maxwell’s attorney also said, “This is not a situation where we are asking for anything in return for testimony or anything like that. Of course, everybody knows Ms. Maxwell would welcome any relief.” Wink-wink, nudge-nudge, pardon-pardon.

When asked if he was considering giving Mazwell a pardon or commuting her sentence, right before he jumped on Air Force One at our expense to play golf in Scotland, Trump said he hasn’t thought about it, but he does have the “power” to do it.

Trump also said he trusts Todd Blanche. This is the setup. This is what will happen. (snip-MORE)