Some Clay Jones

Ace-Toe-Mine-Autopen by Clay Jones

Trump can’t even pronounce the medicine he’s advising against Read on Substack

Don’t take medical advice from felons and heroin addicts.

Donald Trump, RFK Jr, and Dr. Mehmet “Crudite” Oz are recommending that pregnant women not take Tylenol anymore because they claim it will give your baby autism. Real doctors would laugh at this if it weren’t so horrible.

How dare Trump and his quacks tell moms that they’re to blame if their kids have autism just because they took Tylenol to relieve pain associated with pregnancy, like headaches, sore backs, and having to live with the men who made them pregnant?

Acetaminophen is the primary ingredient in Tylenol, and a word that’s difficult for Trump to pronounce, like Thailand, which Trump pronounced as “Thighland.” He once called Yosemite National Park, “Yo-Semite.” That sounds like something you’d hear in NYC.

“Yo, Semite! You got lox on them bagels?”

During his press conference announcing the latest discovery in Trump science, Trump could not pronounce acetaminophen. Trump was rolling but came to a complete stop, as if he was on a UN escalator, and said, “Well, let’s see how we say that…”

It started off like, “acid-mo-finomen.” On his second attempt, he said, “a seed o meniphen.” Then he asked everyone in the room, “Is that OK?”

Jon Stewart answered on the Daily Show on Monday evening, “No!”

Stewart said, “We would like a second opinion, and a third pronunciation. Look, there’s already a ton of controversy around the lack of data tying acetaminophen in pregnancy to autism. And you can’t even be bothered to pronounce the fucking word correctly?”

Stewart is correct. There is a lack of date connecting Tylenol to autism, and surely not enough to go weebling around and telling pregnant women not to take it. (snip-MORE)

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Bribes-R-Us by Clay Jones

Tom Homan is not the only one taking Bribes in the Trump regime Read on Substack

Around August of last year, before the election, future-at-the-time Trump border czar Tom Homan was approached to help secure contracts in a future Trump administration, and was paid $50,000. The $50,000 was given to him in an FBI sting operation and was captured on video.

The investigation was a spinoff of another investigation because, during it, someone came across information that Tom Homan was taking bribes.

My business is squat compared to most, but still…I have never been paid in cash inside a Cava bag, or any bags for that matter. These fucknuts are worried about immigrants being paid under the table, but what the fuck is Tom Homan doing being paid with bags of cash?

The FBI and the Justice Department planned to wait to see whether Homan would deliver on his alleged promise once he became the nation’s top immigration official, but Trump was reinstalled into the White House, Pam Bondi was put in charge of the Justice Department, and Kash Patel was made FBI director, the case stalled before ultimately killing the case, stating there was nothing there.

Irony alert: Former FBI director James Comey is about to be indicted. In DC, they can’t even indict the guy throwing sandwiches at law enforcement, but they’re gonna indict Comey for lying to Republicans in the Senate.

The White House says Homan never took the money, but then again, Karoline Leavitt says a lot of bullshit that’s not true. She’s still screaming about the UN escalator even though it was Trump goons who fucked it up. The one person who hasn’t said that Tom Homan didn’t take $50,000 in a Cava bag from the FBI is Tom Homan.

Fox News’ Laura Ingraham interviewed Tom Homan a few nights ago, and she mockingly referred to MSNBC, which broke the story, as “always-reliable” MSNBC. But, Laura, at least someone from MSNBC, even dumb-dum Lawrence O’Donnell (he called RFK Jr. “Robert Downey Jr.” last night), would have asked Tom Homan one simple question.

Did you take the $50,000?

Although if Lawrence had asked that question, it would have been like, “Did….you…take….the….fifty….thousand…dollars? I’m sorry, that shit annoys me. (snip-MORE)

Catching Up With Clay Jones

Cracker Cancel Culture by Clay Jones

What will MAGA World be upset about next? Read on Substack

Cracker Barrel, the restaurant that does to down-home southern cooking what Olive Garden does to Italian food, has changed its logo from one boring image to a new boring image…and White people are upset. Seriously, they’re upset.

It’s like that time Sexy M&M ditched her Go-Go boots and Tucker Carlson had to find something new to envision while spending “quality time” with himself. Or, it’s like that time Aunt Jemima was removed from syrup bottles and old White conservatives had to find something else to get sticky with. That reminds me, do you put syrup in the fridge after you open it? I saw that on the TV show Mom (Alison Janney is the shit) last night, and I was like, “whaaaaaaa?” I always thought putting syrup in the fridge made it all stiffy. OK, I’ll get off this gross roll here and continue writing about these wankers. (snip-MORE and it is good)

Cheat To Win by Clay Jones

Republicans cheat Read on Substack

The New York Times reported that the Democratic Party is losing voters, and lost over 2.1 million between the 2020 and 2024 elections in the 30 states and Washington, DC that allow voters to register by party. Republicans, on the other han,d picked up over 2.4 million. There are still more Democrats registered nationwide, but the gap between the two parties is shrinking.

This is a fact. Don’t say it’s a fake poll like a MAGA would, because denying it isn’t how you fix it. And yeah, I get it. It’s as confusing as why anyone would choose Trump over Kamala Harris.

The truth is, too many people in this nation don’t care. (snip-MORE)

New Schools and Bathroom Rules by Clay Jones

Linda McMahon wants to see your bathroom Read on Substack

This cartoon was drawn for the FXBG Advance.

The Advance wrote this to go with today’s cartoon: Fredericksburg City Schools had a tough summer (well, the School Board did, anyway), but there were some good things this year, like the opening of two new schools. What could possibly go wrong? Well, when the new U.S. Education Secretary’s experience for the job is being able to distinguish a Camel Clutch from a Cobra Clutch, and her idea of a towering academic intellectual is Hulk Hogan, a lot. Yes, the Trump Administration specializes in hiring — how should I put this kindly — less-than-smart people to lead federal agencies. So rather than ‘rassling’ with serious education issues, we spend our time banning every book with a black face on it and having freak-outs about bathrooms. Yeah, that’s gonna make America great. Just ask Clay Jones.

Linda McMahon and the Education Department are going after five schools in Northern Virginia over bathrooms. (snip-MORE)

Newsom Nuisance by Clay Jones

Gavin Newsom is trolling Trump Read on Substack

California Governor Gavin Newsom has been trolling Donald Trump, or at least his press office has. It’s being done in the style of Trump. The tweets coming from Newsom’s account are mimicking Trump’s style, as in stupid, praising himself, belittling in a juvenile way, full of narcissism, and often in all caps.

Here’s one tweeted out after Trump’s press conference with Putin:

TRUMP JUST FLED THE PODIUM WITH PUTIN — NO QUESTIONS, NOTHING! TOTAL LOW ENERGY. THE MAN LOOKED LIKE HE’D JUST EATEN 3 BUCKETS OF KFC WITH VLAD. IS HE AFRAID THE PRESS WILL ASK ABOUT ME??? (AMERICA’S FAVORITE GOVERNOR) AND THE FACT I “STOLE THE CAMERAS” THIS WEEK WITH “THE MAPS”? MANY PEOPLE ARE SAYING HE BEGGED PUTIN TO HOLD HIS HANDS (TINY) ON THE WAY OUT. ADMIT IT, DONNIE J… YOU’RE TERRIFIED BECAUSE THIS WAS THE WORST WEEK OF YOUR LIFE BECAUSE OF ME, GAVIN C. NEWSOM. “THE MAPS” WILL END YOUR PRESIDENCY, RETAKE CONGRESS FOR THE PEOPLE, AND EXPOSE YOUR RIGGED “LITTLE GAME.”

Now that’s funny, and it’s very effective. Proof of that is Fox News host Dana Perino’s reaction, saying, “Stop it with the Twitter thing! I don’t know where his wife is. (snip-MORE)

Resistance News +Clay Jones

Resist by Ann Telnaes

Everyone can contribute to protecting our democracy Read on Substack

A reader sent me this photo of a poster he created for an anti-Trump rally (He asked for permission. Thank you). I love it when you all use my work to protest… just please send me a photo and no revisions, like changing any text.

(photo used with permission)

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MAGA Motorboat by Clay Jones

Low expectations for the win Read on Substack

Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin held their summit yesterday at a military base in Anchorage, Alaska, and nothing came of it except validation for the Russian president.

Trump had put a deadline, HAHAHAHAHAHA, on Putin for a ceasefire in its war on Ukraine, which Putin started based on bullshit about Nazis in Ukraine. Now, you can’t find anyone in the Trump regime talking about his deadline. TACO done taco’ed out again.

Trump and Putin talked for two to three hours, when they were expecting a much longer summit. After that, they spent 12 minutes gushing over each other in front of the media, and unlike their little summit in Helsinki during Trump’s first term, they didn’t take any questions from the press.

Trump fashions himself as a great negotiator, which has always been a lie. He promised during the campaign that he’d end Russia’s war with Ukraine and Israel’s on Gaza in one day. It’s been almost eight months since Trump was sworn in, and there are no peace deals.

Trump said afterward, “There’s no deal until there’s a deal.” Remember, he’s a great negotiator.

He said, “I will call up NATO in a little while. I will call up the various people that I think are appropriate. And I’ll, of course, call up President Zelenskyy and tell him about today’s meeting. It’s ultimately up to them.”

Isn’t it nice that he’ll “call up” Zelensky, who was kicked out of the White House after being scolded by Trump and Vice President Couch Fucker? Trump plans another meeting with Zelensky in the White House. Good luck, Volodymyr.

Note the difference in the way Trump treats Zelensky and Putin. Zelensky has to travel around the world to meet Trump, and then gets scolded and kicked out of the White House for his trouble. But with Putin, Trump will travel to Alaska, literally roll out a red carpet for the guy, give him a ride in his armored limousine, and celebrate him with a flyover of stealth bombers, like they do at football championships. Maybe Trump thinks Putin won the Super Bowl.

On Saturday morning, Trump revealed that he and Putin decided not to try for a ceasefire at all, “which often times do not hold up,” said Trump, but instead work directly on a peace agreement. Well, why didn’t they think of that beforehand? And why the trip to Alaska if that’s all they were going to get out of it? (snip-MORE)

Clay Jones, Open Windows

Still grifting after all these years by Ann Telnaes

Trump and his spawn continue making money off the presidency Read on Substack

The Guardian is reporting that World Liberty Financial, co-founded by Don Jr. and Eric Trump, has made the president and his family 500 million dollars so far.

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Dildos and Big Balls by Clay Jones

This entire regime is a dildo Read on Substack

The FBI is now officially politicized. There are reports that Director Kash Patel, who’s not just a joke as director of the FBI (an organization he once said should be destroyed), but also as a human being, has assigned 1,000 agents to comb through the Epstein Files to flag mentions of Donald Trump. Now, he’s sending FBI agents after Texas state Democratic senators who’ve fled to other states so Republicans can’t build a quorum to vote on gerrymandering.

Trump told Texas that he deserves five more congressional seats, just like the time he told Georgia officials that he deserved 11,781 more votes in the 2020 presidential election.

What’s the FBI going to do when it finds a Texas Democrat? They don’t have any more authority than Cartman (respect my authoritah!) to apprehend, arrest, or detain a state senator avoiding a vote. The Democrats haven’t broken any laws. So, for anyone who says the redistricting in Texas isn’t illegal, then neither is avoiding a vote on it. This special session was called to deal with the flood, not to cheat and disenfranchise the voters. It should be illegal to abuse the FBI this way. It should also be illegal to gerrymander to prevent minorities from voting. Oh, wait. IT IS!

And poor Big Balls got beat up by a teenage girl. Edward Coristine, a former DOGE official, was attacked in Washington, DC. Trump and others claim a gang was trying to carjack him. Others claimed a woman was being carjacked, but Big Balls rushed in to save her and got himself attacked for his heroism. My cockles are warming up already. Such a hero…but wait!

Now it turns out, he may have been with the woman already, and his attackers were less of a gang and more like a couple of kids on bicycles. A report from Fox 5 said they attacked Big Balls until cops stepped in. Why are kids attacking a man in front of cops? There’s a lot of this story that does not add up. First up, how do we know Big Balls literally has big balls?

The report says they’re looking for a third guy, and he’s the right skin color for MAGA outrage. (snip-MORE)

Goon Is As Good A Term As Any

Goons of Justice by Clay Jones

Trump puts another loyalist goon on a federal bench for life Read on Substack

Oops! I forgot to put satire in this cartoon.

I do that sometimes. I’ll draw a cartoon that illustrates exactly what happened. What happened here is that Republicans confirmed Emil Bove as a federal appeals court judge, which is a lifetime appointment.

They confirmed Bove despite him serving as Donald Trump’s personal lawyer in the hush money case that found Trump guilty on 34 felony counts. The appeals court is one level below the Supreme Court. A Trump loyalist will be on the court for life. He has more loyalty to Trump than to the Constitution.

He will serve on the 3rd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, which hears cases from Delaware, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania. Bove will be as crooked as the judge in Florida who dismissed his stolen document case.

After Trump reentered the White House in January, he quickly made Bove a top official in the Justice Department where he worked on the dismissal of the corruption case against New York City Mayor Eric Adams, and the investigation of everyone who investigated department officials who were involved in the prosecutions of hundreds of Trump supporters who were involved in the Jan. 6, 2021, attack on the Capitol.

Bove has accused FBI officials of “insubordination” for refusing to hand over the names of agents who investigated the attack and ordered the firing of a group of prosecutors involved in those Jan. 6 criminal cases.

It was bad enough to put a supporter of Trump’s white nationalist terrorists in the DOJ, but now he’s going to be a federal judge.

The whistleblowers provided evidence to the Senate that Bove lied during his testimony, and that he suggested the department should ignore court orders when it came to Trump’s illegal deportations. There’s an audio recording of Bove making statements about the Adams case that contradict his testimony, saying that whoever signed onto the dismissal would be rewarded.

Chuck Schumer said, “It’s unfathomable that just over four years after the insurrection at the Capitol, when rioters smashed windows, ransacked offices, desecrated this chamber, Senate Republicans are willingly putting someone on the bench who shielded these rioters from facing justice, who said their prosecution was a grave national injustice.”

Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski were the only two Republicans to vote against Bove’s confirmation, with Collins saying, “I don’t think that somebody who has counseled other attorneys that you should ignore the law, you should reject the law, I don’t think that that individual should be placed in a lifetime seat on the bench.”

Collins isn’t always right, like the time she voted to confirm Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court, believing him when he said he wouldn’t overturn Roe. (snip-MORE, and it’s good)

(Note from A: I’m adding this photo, because Emil Bove reminds me of the photo)

Clay Jones

Homeless Geese by Clay Jones

And no, it’s not about Gary Read on Substack

This was drawn for the Fredericksburg Advance, which wrote with the cartoon:

The Advance prides itself on attracting superior talent to our pages, and Clay Jones may well be at the top of the totem pole if awards are the measure. In 2022 he won the Robert F. Kennedy Award, and he has been a finalist for the Herblock Prize. What makes a great political cartoonist? That’s tough to say, but certainly the ability to make connections that others miss, and that force us to both laugh and think about issues in ways we may not have previously imagined — even (perhaps especially) when it makes us uncomfortable. That’s precisely what Jones has accomplished today, building off this week’s seemingly unrelated stories about geese and the endless struggle in our community over the homeless.

Dawwwww. Thank you, guys. That’s super nice.

I was just being silly with this, but proofer Laura said it was “silly, but kinda accurate.” I was afraid my editor would hate it because it was so weird.

Creative note: I wrote this Thursday night, and drew at home Friday night at the end of a long day. I wanted it to be finished before Saturday so I could focus on all the DC stuff.

Music note: Dammit, I don’t remember because I drew it two nights ago.

Drawn in 30 seconds: (snip-go see!)

Birthday Fascist by Clay Jones

Not even on your birthday Read on Substack

I’m sorry I made you wait for today’s blog, but I thought it would be more interesting to write the blog about Trump’s birthday parade after I actually attended his birthday parade.

And let’s not make mistakes about this. This military parade was not for the Army, but for Donald Trump.

Here’s the funny thing: I didn’t make it to the parade. Yes, I got a hotel room, and I planned to attend the parade, but three things happened. There were fences. Long long long fences. There was not a huge crowd, but it was tough to get through the snake of fences. Then, there were lines. But didn’t I just say the crowds were not huge? They weren’t, but the Trump organization likes to make people wait because it gives the impression that the crowds are large when they’re not.

And they must have expected much larger crowds because there were MAGA merchants everywhere. Yet, it didn’t seem like they were having a lot of customers. The street vendors selling ice cream had longer lines. I bought a cone.

If you want a huge crowd, go back to President Barack Obama’s inauguration. That was a huge crowd. Go back to Kamala Harris’ speech last November. That was a huge crowd. Or, go back to the last time I went to a Washington Capitals game. It was incredible if you could find a seat on the metro because the crowds were so large. But today, I took a metro at 5 p.m. and it was easy to find a seat. It wasn’t packed. And it wasn’t packed after the event either.

The parade started early because they wanted to beat the rain that never came. There were sprinkles, but nothing that should be able to stop a tank.

I said there was a thing that kept me from making it to Constitution Avenue, where the parade was held. The first were the fences, the second were the lines, and the third were the protests. The protests distracted me.

The official No Kings protests did not happen in Washington, DC. They didn’t want to start a fight. But, that didn’t stop independent protesters who did outnumber the MAGAts in my opinion. And readers, I feel bad because I wasn’t very nice to the MAGAts. You’ll see.

The closest thing I saw to violence was when a woman took a wild swing at a man holding a sign. They crossed paths, and she took a swing as they passed each other, which I don’t think she intended to connect. But he turned around and said, “Did you just take a swing at me?” She did not turn around, so he yelled, “Fuck Trump.” Yes, she was a MAGAt. And no, the man didn’t try to do anything violent. He kept on his way after yelling, “Fuck Trump.”

I had to know what was on his sign that made her want to take a swing, and here it is.

He hit a nerve. Here are some other scenes.

And then things got weird.

First, I saw this. (snip-yeah, go see it!!)

Ear Diaper Hater Club by Clay Jones

Read on Substack

In a telephone interview this morning with ABC’s Rachel Scott, Donald Trump said he “may” call Minnesota Governor Tim Walz about the targeted attack in Minneapolis that killed Melissa Hortman, a state legislator, and her husband.

In a moment that needs bipartisanship, empathy, and for a president to actually act presidential, Donald Trump said, “Well, it’s a terrible thing. I think he’s a terrible governor. I think he’s a grossly incompetent person. But I may, I may call him, I may call other people too.”

He just can’t do it. He gave it a shot yesterday, issuing a statement someone else obviously wrote, “I have been briefed on the terrible shooting that took place in Minnesota, which appears to be a targeted attack against state lawmakers. Our Attorney General, Pam Bondi, and the FBI, are investigating the situation, and they will be prosecuting anyone involved to the fullest extent of the law. Such horrific violence will not be tolerated in the United States of America. God Bless the great people of Minnesota, a truly great place.”

Forgive me if I don’t put a lot of faith into the investigative skills of Pam Bondi and FBI Director (sic) Kash Patel.

Trump blamed “hateful rhetoric” from the left when an assassin took aim at his ear. You’re not going to hear the term “hateful rhetoric” from Trump over the assassination of a state legislator in Minnesota.

We’re going to hear a lot of hypocrisy this week coming from MAGA Land.

For Trump, it was “hateful rhetoric” that got his ear shot, but the “targeted attack” on the left is a mystery.

I wanted to give you a long and in-depth blog on this, but I totally forgot while waiting at the airport. The worst part is, my flight was delayed for over two hours, so I had time to write it. Now, my flight is boarding and I’m still typing.

The next time you hear from me, I’ll be in California.

The view from my room:

I’m staying at the Sheraton by the Pentagon. Here’s the view I took yesterday afternoon. (snip-MORE)

Open Windows, Clay Jones

Corrupt Bananas by Clay Jones

As Gwen Stefani said, “This shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Read on Substack

If you’re the president of the United States and you want to do a lot of corrupt bullshit, the first thing you do is hire corrupt people who will support your corrupt bullshit.

A sure way to tell someone is corrupt is by offering them a bribe. If they accept the bribe, then they’re good to go because they’re up to no good. Years later, when you need a corrupt Attorney General to vouch that accepting a $400 million plane from Qatar isn’t corrupt, Pam Bondi will tell the public it’s not corrupt, even though it is.

And then, when you need your spokesgoon to say something super ridiculous to defend you over selling access to the Oval Office, you hire Karoline Leavitt. Leavitt said it was OK for Trump to be at his golf club, hosting the top buyers of his crypto because he was off the clock, attending in his “personal time,” as though he’s just a guess. Get the fuck out of here.

The White House claims that Trump’s assets are in a “blind trust” managed by his two idiot kids, Sniffy Jr. and Eric. (snip-MORE, and it’s good!)

Republican bill cuts food aid for elderly, low-income, & disabled Americans by Ann Telnaes

and increased funding for their own version of Supplemental Nutrition and Assistance Program Read on Substack

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/house-republicans-narrowly-passed-trumps-big-beautiful-bill-heres-what-in-it

2 From Clay Jones

Old Man Yells From White House by Clay Jones

Making Twisters and Hurricanes Great Again Read on Substack

Of course, Donald Trump doesn’t take weather forecasting seriously. He thinks you can move a hurricane with a Sharpie. Or, he thinks only he can move a hurricane with a Sharpie, because everyone’s supposed to listen to the Almighty Trump, even hurricanes.

Naturally, the National Weather Service isn’t going to be spared from DOGE cuts. Who cares if we’re only about two weeks from hurricane season? Last season, there were 18 named storms, 11 hurricanes, and five major hurricanes. It was the first since 2019 to feature multiple Category 5 storms. Hurricane season 2024 also closed the most Waffle Houses (I made that up, but it’s a thing).

And it’s tornado season, bringing 42 deaths to Missouri, Kentucky, and Virginia over the weekend. Would there have been as many deaths if there hadn’t been cuts to our weather systems? The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) and the National Weather Service (NWS) are crucial for the nation’s emergency-response system. Hurricanes are easier to track, but tornadoes don’t give much time at all to prepare. And now, the offices that track them are understaffed because of Trump and Elon (an unelected billionaire bureaucrat).

Five former NWS directors from both Democratic and Republican administrations wrote an open letter on May 2, stating, “Our worst nightmare is that weather forecast offices will be so understaffed that there will be needless loss of life.”

Climate scientist Daniel Swain said, “The net result is going to be massive economic harm. As we break these things, eventually it will become painfully and unignorably obvious what we’ve broken and how important it was. And it’s going to be unbelievably expensive in the scramble to try and get it back—and we might not be able to get it back.”

After the NWS’s first wave of firings and early retirements under the Trump regime, staffing at the service’s 122 field offices across the country has dropped to a 19 percent vacancy rate. Fifty-two offices are now considered “critically understaffed,” meaning a shortage of more than 20 percent. Some branches are down by more than 40 percent. The good news is that the budget for White House Sharpies has gone up.

There has also been huge reductions and cancellations of weather balloon launches, which are supposed to happen twice a day at every forecast office across the country. According to reports, they’re being saved for Trump’s birthday parade on June 14, which also explains the nation’s shortage of cakes and hot dogs (joke, but the parade is real). (snip-MORE, along these lines that should be read.)

Save Whitey by Clay Jones

Won’t you save an Afrikaner too? Read on Substack

Donald Trump set another trap for a foreign leader in the Oval Office. This time, it didn’t go like the trap set for President Volodymyr Zelensky (where Trump and JD harangued him for not surrendering to Putin), but more like the trap he set for a reporter, claiming a doctored pic of Abrigo Garcia with MS-13 labeled on his fingers was real.

This time, Donald Trump was trying to lecture South African President Cyril Ramaphosa about White genocide in his nation. This would be like me going to New York City and lecturing the locals that C.H.U.D.s are real.

I could tell them that I saw a documentary hosted by John Goodman on HBO back in the 80s proving that Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers are living in their sewers, leaping out at the right opportunities to grab old ladies while they’re walking their dogs for a late-night snack. The reason you’re not hearing about the C.H.U.D.s is that the liberal media and the Deep State are working together to hide it until you and your Schnauzer or C.H.U.D. meat. Why should they think they know NYC better than I do, because they actually live there? Hmph!

Did you know that last April, C.H.U.D.s ate 27,687 human beings, three Schnauzers, two poodles, and one of those skinny hairless cats that nobody is sure is an actual cat? I haven’t actually researched or verified these numbers, but someone on the internet said it’s true (that was me). And, most of those eaten were White people, because White people are the most persecuted segment of civilization in world history.

That has to be true because people like Donald Trump, Elon Musk, Stephen Miller, Tucker Carlson, and crazy old White guys wearing MAGA caps on the city bus keep warning us about the Great Replacement theory, where White people are being replaced by Mexicans and other people with suspicious skin tones. It has to be true because I saw another documentary, this one hosted by Mel Brooks, showing a Black man screaming, “Where all the White women at?”

I’m telling ya, White people can’t catch a break anymore, especially the White billionaire president (sic). Just this week, he was forced to listen to a Black man in the Oval Office refuse to be browbeaten to agree with his conspiracy theory. What next? Is someone going to park a Venezuelan food truck in front of the White House on what was White Lives Matter Plaza (there’s one near L’enfant station and it’s amazeballs)?

Ramaphosa was sitting next to Trump, engaging in fake pleasantries, talking about golf and other assorted bullshit, knowing he was sitting in a trap. Fortunately for the South African prez, the trap springer is a moron (person, woman, man, camera, TV). Ramaphosa said “listening to the stories” of South Africans would help Trump better understand the bullshit he was talking about, except Trump doesn’t listen. But then, Trump had the lights dimmed (It’s a trap!), as a MAGAt aide turned on the TV and played a video of South African opposition politicians singing apartheid-era songs about shooting Boers, a term that refers to farmers or Afrikaners (the term for White South Africans). The video was several years old.

Drone footage showed supposed Afrikaner graves marked by white crosses. Then Trump whipped out newspaper clippings (probably all from Breitbart) about recent killings in South Africa, muttering, “Death, death, death, horrible death.” My gosh. It sounds like there might be an agenda here.

It must have been tough for Ramaphosa to sit still when Trump said White genocide is “sort of the opposite of apartheid.” Read the room, Grandpa.

Trump got distracted when he called NBC reporter Peter Alexander a “jerk” for asking why he accepted a $400 million plane from Qatar.

Trump said rhetorically, “Why did a country give an airplane to the United States Air Force? So they could help us out, because we need an Air Force One. That’s what that idiot talks about, after viewing a thing where thousands of people are dead,” that Trump had made up. He’s so touchy when called out for taking a bribe.

Seizing the moment and embarrassing Trump, Ramaphosa said, “I’m sorry I don’t have a plane to give you.” Not realizing that Ramaphosa basically said, “I’m sorry, I don’t have a bribe for you,” Trump said, “I wish you did. I would take it. If your country offered the United States Air Force a plane, I would take it.”

Trump is an idiot.

There is no White genocide. It’s a lie that racist Elon Musk (who was in the room with Trump and Ramaphosa) has been pushing for years. (snip-again, MORE along the same lines; it ought to be read.)

I Don’t Know About Happy, But Whatever…

Happy Insurrection Day by Clay Jones

Is Trump confused or just lying again? Read on Substack

Tomorrow is the fourth anniversary of Donald Trump’s white nationalist insurrection, when he called MAGA terrorists to come to Washington, DC on January 6, 2021, to stop the certification of Joe Biden’s election victory over him.

Trump lost the 2020 election fair and square.

Trump is the first president to refuse a peaceful transfer of power. He refused to cooperate with Biden’s transition team, a courtesy President Barack Obama extended in 2016 and after Trump’s victory last November (gag), President Biden extended to him as well. Both Democratic presidents hosted President-Elect (sic) Trump in the White House.

Trump ordered his MAGAts to attempt the insurrection after failing to overturn the election through court challenges, installing fake electors, calling election officials to intimidate them into giving him extra votes that didn’t exist, and even having his goons harass and intimidate election workers.

Trump’s white nationalist terrorists assaulted at least 174 Capitol Police officers on January 6, 2021, with 15 hospitalized. There was one death from a stroke and four suicides afterward. They also caused over $30 million in damages which Trump should pay for.

Two of the terrorists died from natural causes, one died from a drug overdose, and another, Ashley Babbit, died from a gunshot wound.

Over 1,500 were arrested, including Donald Trump. This nation has forgotten about the insurrection and has returned Trump to the presidency (sic). After January 20, Donald Trump plans to pardon all of the white nationalist terrorists who attacked our nation.

These people were looking to murder Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Vice President Mike Pence. Now, they will be rewarded.

I had a Lyft driver on New Year’s Eve ask me why I don’t support Donald Trump and I answered, “Because I love my country.” The elderly white driver (surprise) replied, “Donald Trump does too.” I have a serious inability to tolerate bullshit and I probably got a one-star rating from him after I replied to his response, “Donald Trump does too.” Thankfully, he made his dumbass ignorant comment near the end of the ride, where a guy ambushed me with Jesus pamphlets. I went straight from Trump freak to Jesus freak. I was glad I was getting out of town.

That’s our country for you today. Half this nation believes Donald Trump was right to send white nationalist terrorists to attack the Capitol to make him an unelected dictator or they don’t care.

Marjorie Taylor Greene doesn’t just want to ignore January 6, but she wants to make it a national holiday. Hey, we’ll all get a day off. MTG is also concerned that a snowstorm tomorrow will “disrupt” Trump’s certification. That’s rich.

Speaker-hanging-by-a-thread Mike Johnson doesn’t want to investigate January 6 but investigate the investigators. The new Department of Justice under Donald Trump and Pam Bondi will be looking to prosecute people like Rep. Bennie Thompson, who chaired the J6 Committee, and former GOP Rep. Liz Cheney, who co-chaired the committee. The DOJ may also be weaponized against people like Special Counsel Jack Smith, Attorney General Merrick Garland, and even President Joe Biden.

Other Republicans encouraged J6, attempted to dox Speaker Pelosi’s location, gave them pre-insurrection tours, and later called the attackers “protesters” and “tourists.” Goons gotta goon.

On January 6, some will celebrate. I will encourage you to remember that our incoming president (sic) is a terrorist and a national security threat.

Two days that will make me sick to my stomach this month is tomorrow, January 6, and January 20.

I’m gonna get drunk.

Creative note: Both of my proofers had disgusted reactions to this cartoon which is exactly what I was going for. Also, I hate layers in Procreate. This cartoon has nearly 40 of them. I would usually just write “pardon” over and over again, but I thought the placement would work better with the layers, but that’s just as much of a PITA to me as lettering. My layer-loving friend and colleague Phil Hands should be happy.

Drawn in 30 seconds: (go watch!)